Re: Underage Drinking

I think this issue has a lot of gray area and to preface I don't have any children so, no, I'm not 100% sure of what I will do with my kids.

Now having said that, I personally don't think its horrible to allow your child who is 18/19 years old (think out of high school) to have a glass of wine with dinner, maybe even watered down. For sure they would NOT be driving that night either. Anything beyond that I wouldn't go for.

*My* reasoning for allowing a glass of wine is I think like lots of things in life, children need to be "taught" how to drink. They need to understand that it's not necessary to drink to get hammered, not to be a "garbage can" of drinks, not to mix. To understand that regardless of age drinking should be done in moderation.

I think honestly the only way to learn these lessons is by living it.

Of course I would never condone keggers or huge parties with beer flowing if they're underage but if you're having a holiday meal with the family, no, I don't think it's terrible to give your child a glass of wine with the meal or for a toast.

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My parents never allowed me to...they only allowed me to have a small glass of champagne on New Years Eve when I was younger (before I went out with friends)

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I was already married with a child on my 21st birthday. Honestly, I felt as did my family that if I was responsible enough for that, it wouldn't be the end of the world for me to have a drink. I don't understand how we can legally marry, go off to war, and be responsible for ourselves at 18 but we can't drink until 21. The people in my life who were stupid and irresposible with alcohol at 18 were no different at 21.

That said, I will not encourage my children to go out & get wasted before they are 21 (or after for that matter) nor would I allow them to party and get smashed in my home, but once they turn 18, I wouldn't be too upset at them having a drink or two in my presence. I plan to stress the importance of drinking responsibly and never ever driving after drinking.

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I was allowed to drink alcohol at family functions probably from age 17 on. Did I drink though? No. I just saw no purpose in it. My parents never made me feel like I had to hide the fact that I was drinking alcohol, and therefore, I think I always drank responsibly. Now, that doesn't mean that I didn't ever get drunk before age 21, but it sure as hell meant that I would call them if I needed a ride or if I decided to crash somewhere because I was too afraid to drive after a couple of drinks. I don't know what I'll do as a parent, I think it will depend on how much I think my own children can handle responsibly. If I had a child that would exercise no self-control while drinking, I would not be offering it to him or her. If I have a kid like I was, who is responsible and mature and they are in my company, then yes, I see no harm.

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When I was a teen, my parents never drank around me or let me drink

It became this "cool rebellious" thing to do so I used to sneak some out of their closet and drink with friends. I was only 14 at the time so luckily no drinking and driving


My personal belif is once the secerecy surrounding things like this is gone ( I also snuck ciggarettes from my mom- thankfully I thought they were gross!)
kids will be less likely to see it as something to be tempted with

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I don't agree with parents allowing their children to drink at all. They are supposed to be role models and obey the law and they are not.

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let me preface this with at the age of 29 i went to get a glass of wine out of the fridge and my mother turned to me and yelled "what are you a wino?!?" needless to say i was not offered drinks underage at my house during holidays or any days. my parents were way too strict and i paid dearly for it once away in college. i partied all of the time.

now that i have my stepchildren full time, i'm faced with the question of how will this decision affect their future. i can honestly say that i have no idea how i'm going to approach this situation. if you would have asked me this years ago i would have said, sure no problem but now i just don't know. scary actually to have to think about it.

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I was allowed to have wine, beer, etc - I mean, not sh*t faced, but a glass here and there...

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i wouldnt allow my 18/19 year old to drink in front of me. if they do it without my knowledge, that is one thing, not that they have my blessing or wish that they do it behind my back but hey, kids are kids, but i would never let him or her crack one open in front of me.

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Its ok

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i hate how alcohol has this evil association to it. alcohol is not evil if used properly and responsibly--and that needs to be taught. you don't suddenly learn that because you turn 21. (for the record, i also believe the drinking age should be 18)

i had sips of beer/wine/liquor with my grandparents from when i was a little kid. they explained everything to me and it was never a big deal. half the time i didn't even want it. but it was never hidden from me or my cousins. in HS, when people were getting wasted every weekend, i didn't because alcohol wasn't mysterious. (that's not to say i never drank with friends because i did--but not to excess) even in college, alcohol wasn't such a big deal for me. everyone in college was drinking excessively because they never had access to it--it was mysterious and exciting to them.

i plan on giving my children sips of alcohol as they grow up. i want them to look at it the way i do. not everyone will do this and that's fine---to each her own. you have to raise your kids how you feel is best. and i don't want mine to think that alcohol suddenly becomes okay at age 21. if something isn't allowed, you want it more and will do anything to get it.

ETA: i would never let anyone else's child drink at my house. only my own and those of family members if their parents are there.

Message edited 12/31/2008 8:46:40 AM.

Re: Underage Drinking

my parents always allowed my sisters and i to drink. they made it clear that some alcohol was totally normal, and not taboo. if we got a little tipsy with family, we all laughed about it. it was never made into a big deal at all.

while my sisters and i definitely indulged in more alcohol than we probably should have during our college years, we also had the lessons our parents had taught us to reply on, and none of us ever did anything stupid like drink until we passed out, or drank and drove.

my parents knew full well that in my senior year of HS i was at a friend's house nearly evey weekend having a few beers - but her parents were always home, and we always slept over.

i would never judge anyone who chooses to prevent their child from drinking alcohol in their presence until they were 21 - but i can say will full confidence that they way my parents raised me and my sisters worked for US, and we are all happy, healthy adults.

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My parents allowed me and my sister as long as we were not driving anywhere.

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i would definitely allow my mature son or daughter to have a drink in front of me, especially in a responsible way.

in the long haul i think its the best idea to avoid college and adult binging

my parents allowd me the occasional glass of wine or a a drink at a nice restaurant if i was not carded and wirth them. i think it is the best way.

however, with that said, i dont think id be ok with my son or daughter of HS years having drink after drink at a holday party in front of realtives. that i am against. college age, maybe 1-2 drinks

Message edited 12/31/2008 8:48:41 AM.

Re: Underage Drinking

My parents never allowed me to drink until I was 21. In HS, they never allowed drinking at all (i.e., if we came home smelling like alcohol, we were grounded). Once I was in college, they were a little more lax (ie, they weren't smelling and grounding me) since they knew I was doing it at college anyway. I plan to be the same way with my kids. In my experience, the friends who had parents who allowed their children to have a drink or drinks tended to drink more when not in their presence. Of course, this is not always the case because there are always kids who rebel against the strict parent. And I found ways around my mom's nose by sleeping at a friends...but because their was a rule about it and it was never allowed, I was more careful and drank less. I plan to be the same way with my DD and I just hope she responds with being responsible!

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I also wanted to add that I agree with other posters that by not exposing your children to alcohol and how to handle it responsibly (sp), I THINK they will be more prone to want to experiment and overdo it. I have no facts to back this up, just my personal opinion

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I was probably the last of ALL my friends to start drinking. I didn't start until I got to college and was 18, never cared to before then. My parents in no way condoned underage drinking but I think they knew it was happening at college. I didn't start drinking at family parties or around my parents until I was 21.

I think it's highly unrealistic to think kids will wait until they are 21 to start drinking, however I think a parent needs to be a parent and not blatantly allow underage drinking.

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I'm okay with 18 - 20 y/o drinking...think that's what the legal age limit should be anyway.

Drinking in front of the family at social events, I'm okay with too, as long as the parents granted permission.

I honestly believe (and these are my morals/values) that the more restrictive parents are, the more their children will act out.

My parents allowed me to drink when they were watching, never allowed more than two drinks in a 5+ hour time-span. I always let them know if I was going to drinking (yes at 18 y/o I had an id and drank) - and they trusted me. It was NEVER abused, and I respected them, myself, and the permission to do so.