TTC WWYD

If you or DH lost your job, would you put TTC on hold? What if the industry that your job was in was horrible right now (mortgages)? Would you hold off or would you continue to TTC?

Re: TTC WWYD

You know my answer...lol. I think you should hold off until he finds something. You just never know how long it will take and you don't want to put that stress on yourselves if it takes longer then you anticipated. Hopefully it will happen soon

Re: TTC WWYD

Thanks Nay - yea I knew you would be the first one to respond and I knew the answer!!

Re: TTC WWYD

i would wait

i cringe when i hear people say that there is "never a right time" to have a baby (meaning that people should just go for it no matter what the circumstances are b/c things "always work out")

while i agree that there may never be the *perfect* time to start a family i think that there can be a *better* time and a more *responsible* time if that makes sense...

i know that you can't always have all your ducks in a row and if you wait for the perfect time it may never come BUT for me and my husband we have been waiting until the timing is the best we think it's going to get just for the sheer fact that a less stressed parent is more likely to be a better parent to their child (i'm not saying being stressed = bad parenting) but i think it helps when you have less non-parenting issues to worry about (meaning where are you going to live, career, affording bills, managing debt etc.)

i would say it's better to wait until your DH has some job security - i think it would take away a lot of the stress factor for you both...JMO...hope he finds something soon! good luck!

Message edited 6/15/2010 10:41:46 AM.

Re: TTC WWYD

While I do understanding waiting for the right time, my only differing thoughts are that you never know what may happen in life - TTC could take you a lot longer than you originally thought it would. Even if you got pregnant the first time, you have 9 months to get things in order...and Sadly, speaking from experience, so much is out of your control that even if you do think you can plan everything, you really can't....

Re: TTC WWYD

We are waiting for job reasons. Only waiting a few months, but waiting nonetheless.

Re: TTC WWYD

Message edited 6/15/2010 11:07:05 AM.

Re: TTC WWYD

I WOULD HOLD OFF

Re: TTC WWYD

Re: TTC WWYD

Thanks ladies - I knew the responses already I know it is def the smart choice to wait and hope that he finds something soon, it is just frustrating

Re: TTC WWYD

personally, i wouldn't wait

but i can only say that after having waited myself due to job reasons, and then 17 months later.. here we are still ttc'ing.
i constantly think that if we hadn't waited, things might be different now.. who knows!

you know there's never a 'right' time, so maybe give yourself a certain amount of time to wait so you don't feel you're prematurely rushing into it, and it will give you and dh time to hopefully sort out the job situations.

Re: TTC WWYD

I would hold off.

Re: TTC WWYD

For me, it would depend on my age, our savings, and my work situation.

If I were in my 20's or early 30's, I would definitely wait. If I was 35+, I'd probably continue TTC. JMHO.

Re: TTC WWYD

I would suggest holding off-but not for too long.

Also if you're starting a new job at a new company, you may have to wait for beneftis kick in, or be employed at least a year before being eligible for disability (aka FMLA/MAT leave).

JMO

Re: TTC WWYD

As long as you can provide food, clothing, shelter and mdeical attention to the child on whatever income you do have, I wouldn't wait. JMO of course.

Re: TTC WWYD

well. I'm going to disagree (a little)

I think we all need to have plans that makes sense to us - that will allow us to make sure we can live in the manner we want, and to provide basic needs for our kids but other than that - everyone's situation is so unique that 'waiting for a job' can make sense or not. .

I'm a little bit older and my DH does not have a job right now but we are starting anyway bc i feel that if I wait for him to get a job and then it takes us some time to get preg - it might end up being too late for us. . I think if you are younger and health/age is not an issue then by all means wait - but I think it is WAY too judgemental for people to say that starting when things aren't secure is irresponsible. . and what do people define as secure. .

Re: TTC WWYD

Re: TTC WWYD

Posted by Nik211

Posted by pteradactylmama


well. I'm going to disagree (a little)

I think we all need to have plans that makes sense to us - that will allow us to make sure we can live in the manner we want, and to provide basic needs for our kids but other than that - everyone's situation is so unique that 'waiting for a job' can make sense or not. .

I'm a little bit older and my DH does not have a job right now but we are starting anyway bc i feel that if I wait for him to get a job and then it takes us some time to get preg - it might end up being too late for us. . I think if you are younger and health/age is not an issue then by all means wait - but I think it is WAY too judgemental for people to say that starting when things aren't secure is irresponsible. . and what do people define as secure. .

i'm sorry and i try not to offend anyone but i think having 0 income and having children is irresponsible...i guess it's judgemental but unless you have the means to support a family with no income (like say you won millions in the lottery or you come from a mega rich famiy) i don't even know how you can think about having children? but people do it all the time and take advantage of welfare and govt aid...but i don't even want to get into that

i define secure as being able to afford shelter, monthly bills, food, clothes, medicine - if someone is having trouble affording the basics for themselves than yes i think it's irresponsible to bring another person into the world when you clearly know that you can't support yourself...

i'm sorry if i hurt anyone's feelings, i'm not saying it to be hurtful and yes going back and reading it, it does sound judgemental but i can't help if that is the way i feel...maybe because it's so close to home for me and it hurts to see children suffer

i know we are all in different situations and i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings

Message edited 6/15/2010 8:22:59 PM.

Re: TTC WWYD

I would not b/c i now know how long it takes...!

Re: TTC WWYD

Posted by pteradactylmama

Posted by Nik211

Posted by pteradactylmama


well. I'm going to disagree (a little)

I think we all need to have plans that makes sense to us - that will allow us to make sure we can live in the manner we want, and to provide basic needs for our kids but other than that - everyone's situation is so unique that 'waiting for a job' can make sense or not. .

I'm a little bit older and my DH does not have a job right now but we are starting anyway bc i feel that if I wait for him to get a job and then it takes us some time to get preg - it might end up being too late for us. . I think if you are younger and health/age is not an issue then by all means wait - but I think it is WAY too judgemental for people to say that starting when things aren't secure is irresponsible. . and what do people define as secure. .

i'm sorry and i try not to offend anyone but i think having 0 income and having children is irresponsible...i guess it's judgemental but unless you have the means to support a family with no income (like say you won millions in the lottery or you come from a mega rich famiy) i don't even know how you can think about having children? but people do it all the time and take advantage of welfare and govt aid...but i don't even want to get into that

i define secure as being able to afford shelter, monthly bills, food, clothes, medicine - if someone is having trouble affording the basics for themselves than yes i think it's irresponsible to bring another person into the world when you clearly know that you can't support yourself...

i'm sorry if i hurt anyone's feelings, i'm not saying it to be hurtful and yes going back and reading it, it does sound judgemental but i can't help if that is the way i feel...maybe because it's so close to home for me and it hurts to see children suffer

i know we are all in different situations and i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings

No, I was totally not offended at all by what you said - and p[rob shouldnt have put my "way" in caps - that prob seemed a bit much so sorry on that

I DO agree that if neither person has a job that of course it doesnt make sense to have a kid. . but there is a difference btwn having neither partner have a job, than 1 having a job, or having 1 person have a job but comfortable enough savings to make it work. . right now I am working and have decent salary and great insurance so I just have faith DH will get a job within a year and if not I know that I we have enough resources to still take care of things. so nowhere in the first question did I see enough info about someone else's financial state to know what their situation was - so that's all. .

and I'm just explaining my POV - no intent for drama here, I agree with your sense of responsibility and care - just also see things individually so. love and baby dust for all!!!

Re: TTC WWYD

Thanks for all the replies!!
It is a very tough decision, cause I am afraid that it might take a long time (I have PCOS) but I am still in my 20s
We are doing completely fine on 1 income and we have a house and all that but I guess I am just worried about how long DH will be out and obv a baby needs a doctor and clothes and food and diapers.
It is a tough decision and we are def going to have to talk about it more seriously.