Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

I know this will sound dumb, but what "should" I be doing with my newborn?

My little boy is 5 weeks old. He is awake more time now then in the beginning, but I find when he is awake, (aside from when he has eaten and been changed) he'll be alert and happy watching me or DH or just watching the world go by for maybe 10-15 minutes. Then he gets fussy and starts to cry.

So I try to comfort him and calm him down and usually the only way he is calm again is when I get him back to sleep by putting him over my shoulder and patting his back or rocking him or something.

I guess I am just worried I should be doing something to "entertain" him rather then having him sleep so much, but once he starts crying, he works himself up to an amazing purple-faced scream and I don't know what else to do. Is it normal that he still sleeps so much?

And, I'm also worried my always picking him up to calm him is a bad idea. I have been reading all sorts of books and they say you can't spoil a newborn... but don't get into bad habits... but he's too young to CIO. WTH am I supposed to do then?

Thanks for any thoughts you could share - I'm just afraid of screwing this up.

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

honestly at this point...enjoy the cuddle time. Hold him and love him! He is just learning his surroundings now. You can always start tummy time too

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

I promise you, you're not screwing anything up.
He's only 5 weeks old.
My DD is 5 months old and I still put her on my shoulder and pat her to sleep. Once she's out, I transfer her to the bassinet.
I do this if I know she was already fed, changed, and we played. (she likes her gym mat)..after all this, if she's cranky, then, well, we snuggle! LOL
At 5 weeks old, I think its 100% normal to sleep a lot! They hit growth spurts and need their rest! My DD takes a morning nap (like an hour) and then the afternoon takes 3-3.5 hours.
Even she still needs her rest.
Then in the evening, she falls asleep around 8PM, gets one more bottle and by 11PM is out for the night.

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

Don't worry about picking him up at this age.

Do you have a swing? A bouncer? A Gymnini? These are all great things that will stimulate him.

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

I was so worried that I would make a "mistake" and mess up my baby when I first brought her home. She's almost 2 years old now, & seems quite fine. Please don't worry - go easy on yourself.

When she was an infant, I snuggled her, cuddled her & talked & sang to her.

As for helping to soothe your DS, one thing that seemed to help when my LO cried was holding her and doing knee bends - I learned that in a mommy & me yoga class - the up & down motion seemed to be very calming.

Hope this helps.

Remember, go easy on yourself and believe in yourself. Those first bunch of months are very challenging.

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

I'm a 2nd time mom and I was just going to post a similar question.

DS is a month old. He is awake alot more during the day but alot of the time it doesnt seem like he knows what he wants to do...he does like to be held ALOT. I try to rotate him between the bouncy seat, holding him, laying him in the PNP. Right now he is not a fan of the swing.

It is much harder for me to "entertain" him when he is awake being he needs to be held b/c my older son is 2 1/2 and also wants my attention. It's hard to play a game or do a puzzle with a 2 yr. old when you're also holding a baby

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

DO NOT be afraid of spoiling at this point. At 5 weeks he is still developing his trust in you. Hold him, cuddle and enjoy. Do not worry about entertaining at this point, just make sure he gets plenty of rest and let him sleep. He might be cranky from lack of sleep. Babies on average double their weight in 3 months. THat is alot of growing and eating.

At this age and with this beautiful weather...I would take walks, fresh air is good. It makes them hungrier and puts them to sleep. Visual stimulation is good too, I have these cards with all dif colors on them and my dd just stares at them and makes faces.

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

I snuggle, talk, sing to DS and just hold him....I look into his eyes while holding his hand and tell him stories or just introduce myself

Message edited 10/9/2009 10:27:44 PM.

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

i basically said the SAME thing to my mom tonight!!

DD is 3 weeks old and as she lay sleeping in the swing I said -- so this is all she's supposed to do right?! my mom laughed

I feel like I should entertain her more, but all she does it eat, sleep, poop, scream, repeat. ive come to the conclusion that at this point, it's all theyre supposed to do!

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

Thank you so much!

I do sing to him or talk to him but when he's fussy, that just makes him madder.

He likes his swing but mostly he sleeps in it and his bouncer he doesn't seem to enjoy much at all. And I try to play on the gym mat with him, but he is only interested for a little bit and if he's already crying, he won't open his eyes long enough to get interested - he just squeezes his eyes shut and cries.

But it's good to know that he should be sleeping a lot anyway.

I appreciate the feedback! It helps to know I'm not alone.

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

Sounds like you are doing great with your DS! Just cuddle and hold him as much as you want! The 'experts' say, that at 6 months old, babies start to get the correlation between crying and getting picked up, so until then... snuggle and pat away! Maybe take DS for a walk? He will probably love it! I used to put DD in her swing or just hang out with her on the couch. Also, you could read him a book- it's never too early!

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

You don't have to entertain him - in fact, at this age, if you try to entertain him you risk overstimulating him. Babies don't need much - everything is new so every part of the day is a learning experience. The best thing to do when he's awake is to sing, talk to him, put him on his playmat or his bouncy. And it's totally normal for him to start fussing within 15-20 minutes - that's just about the capacity a newborn has for awake time. If he fusses, it means he's sleepy, hungry, needs to be burped or fed. Look for tired signs (yawning, starting at nothing, rubbing eyes, etc).

It's ok to rock him to sleep, though I tried not to do that in the beginning. I would rock Yael just until she was drowsy but still awake and then I would put her down in her crib or bouncy so she started to learn how to fall asleep on her own, slowly.

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

You can also try a sling or other kind of baby carrier, that way he can be held and close to you, but you can have your arms free to do other things (if you need them!).

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom - I could use some advice

I felt the same way!!! But I think that if your DS is screaming he may be overtired! When my DD was that age, I think she was up maybe 1 to 2 hours max then needed to be back to sleep otherwise she was a screamer! he may be tired!