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CroatianBride
Our Angel Ivanka Rose <3
Member since 7/07 2031 total posts
Name:
Tat
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So sad...
My co-worker is having a baby in two weeks, her baby shower is saturday and not one thing (I'm seriously not even exaggerating) has been purchased from her registry at Target or Babie R Us. She is not married, has two other kids (10,14 years old) and struggles every month to pay the bills.
I told her I can't come to the baby shower because I just can't afford it right now but def owe her a gift after she has the baby.
Now I feel terrible and need to figure out a way to raise some money to get her the essentials for her new born. Anyone have any suggestions?
TIA!!
Message edited 1/3/2008 4:40:05 PM.
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Posted 1/3/08 4:38 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad...
Can you get her a gift card?
Were any other coworkers of yours invited to the shower? Maybe you all can chip in?
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| Posted 1/3/08 4:41 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: So sad...
This may sound mean, but why would someone who's already struggling to pay the bills with 2 kids get pregnant with a third???
As for the baby shower, I've never really heard of anyone having a shower after the first child, at best the second?
At any rate, I wouldn't worry too much at this point. People wait until last minute to buy gifts all the time.
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| Posted 1/3/08 4:43 PM |
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CroatianBride
Our Angel Ivanka Rose <3
Member since 7/07 2031 total posts
Name:
Tat
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Re: So sad...
Some other co-workers are chipping in for the crib, I am getting her essentials she's gonna need once the baby is born...but can't afford them all  I just feel so bad for this girl, she's a sweetheart!!
If I could just win the lotto tonight I would buy her both her registries!!!
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| Posted 1/3/08 4:45 PM |
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CroatianBride
Our Angel Ivanka Rose <3
Member since 7/07 2031 total posts
Name:
Tat
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Re: So sad...
Posted by Jennie0898
This may sound mean, but why would someone who's already struggling to pay the bills with 2 kids get pregnant with a third???
As for the baby shower, I've never really heard of anyone having a shower after the first child, at best the second?
At any rate, I wouldn't worry too much at this point. People wait until last minute to buy gifts all the time.
It wasn't a planned pregnancy
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| Posted 1/3/08 4:46 PM |
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Reese32
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 3631 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad...
People do tend to wait until the last minute to buy shower gifts.
As for a baby shower for a third baby, when there's such a big age difference between the baby to be and its next-oldest sibling, it's not that uncommon. Obviously the mother probably hasn't saved stuff from 10 years ago.
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| Posted 1/3/08 4:48 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: So sad...
Posted by meprecious99
Posted by Jennie0898
This may sound mean, but why would someone who's already struggling to pay the bills with 2 kids get pregnant with a third???
As for the baby shower, I've never really heard of anyone having a shower after the first child, at best the second?
At any rate, I wouldn't worry too much at this point. People wait until last minute to buy gifts all the time.
It wasn't a planned pregnancy
I figured. Again, I ask; why does someone who is having trouble paying her bills currently take on the responsibility of another child?? She should have considered this when she was having unprotected sex.
I'm sorry, I just don't have much sympathy for people who make a mistake like this. There's a big impact on the child and the sad part is they had no control over being in that situation. They didn't ask to be born.
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| Posted 1/3/08 4:49 PM |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: So sad...
Why don't you try an organize a little shower for her at work?
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| Posted 1/3/08 5:06 PM |
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CroatianBride
Our Angel Ivanka Rose <3
Member since 7/07 2031 total posts
Name:
Tat
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Re: So sad...
I totally agree, but this situation is way past that, I'm worried for the child at this point and would like to do all I can to make sure it has clean diapers and enough food.
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| Posted 1/3/08 5:06 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad...
Posted by meprecious99
I totally agree, but this situation is way past that, I'm worried for the child at this point and would like to do all I can to make sure it has clean diapers and enough food.
OK, this is sad.
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| Posted 1/3/08 5:07 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad...
Do you have any friends or family that would be willing to donate things they don't need anymore?
Check ebay, craigslist & freecycle for people selling or giving stuff away.
I think if you register at the diaper & formula websites they send coupons for their products.
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| Posted 1/3/08 5:10 PM |
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BlueDiamonds
mommy to 3 boys
Member since 2/07 3885 total posts
Name:
proud mommy
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Re: So sad...
my friend just did adopt a family for christmas and sent out emails asking friends and family if they wanted to contribute either $, clothes, toys to help a particular family in need. maybe you could do something similar and get the word out to your friends and family. it sounds like your co-workers are already doing alot.
ask friends and family to pass along the email to other friends and family. even if everyone contributes $5, it will really add up. you could use the cash to buy her a gift card to target or babies r us.
maybe you could post something on the parenting board to see if anyone would be willing to donate clothes or other baby things that their children no longer need.
i think you if you spend the next week or two getting it together, you could have a bunch of stuff for her in time for the baby. i think this is so nice of you to do this for her and her baby!
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| Posted 1/3/08 5:53 PM |
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Dani922
Here's to new beginnings
Member since 10/07 7260 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: So sad...
I think it's wonderful that you are trying to help your friend out. Maybe you can talk to other co-workers about putting in some money to get her a big gift card? I know we do things like that in my office whenever someone gets married or has a baby.
As far as her registry though, after my baby shower, I logged on to my registry to see what I had on there that I hadn't gotten so I could buy it. There were several things on there that I had gotten that weren't marked on the registry. In addition, I got tons of gift cards & I got some things after my DD was born as well. Plus, many people shop at the last possible minute (like on the way to the shower).
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| Posted 1/3/08 6:35 PM |
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Re: So sad...
I think it's great that you are trying to help your friend out, and leaving the judgement aside. I am sure it's hard enough for her as it is, without people stepping in and offering up their 2-cents.
I think if you can follow some of the suggestions that have been given already, and then try to continue just being a support after the baby is born, I am sure she will appreciate that.
Freecycle and Craigslist seem like great resources. Does she get child support? She should look into/work with a social worker/legal services to ensure she is getting all that she is entitled to for her kids. Maybe she is eligible for something like WIC.
Message edited 1/3/2008 7:15:09 PM.
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| Posted 1/3/08 7:14 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad...
Maybe start a post on Parenting to see if anyone is giving away baby items.
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| Posted 1/3/08 7:23 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad...
Posted by nrthshgrl
Maybe start a post on Parenting to see if anyone is giving away baby items.
I was TOTALLY gonna say that  
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| Posted 1/3/08 7:26 PM |
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Holly
Prayers to those who need them
Member since 5/05 6631 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: So sad...
Churches usually have some kind of outreach programs to help out also.
Maybe if you did something at work, you could do a "wishing well" for diapers..I think Shana (btrflygrl) received some kind of diaper wishing well type of thing and I thought that was such a cool idea.
Its unfortunate she is in this position, I hope she can get he help she needs.
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| Posted 1/3/08 7:30 PM |
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Cpt2007
A new love!
Member since 1/08 5946 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: So sad...
that is so nice of you to try to round things up. perhaps if people at work can't afford to do a gift, everyone could get at least one package of diapers. i went to a shower once where, in addition to gifts, each guest brought a package of diapers. they were set for the first 6 months!
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| Posted 1/3/08 8:04 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad...
Posted by meprecious99
I totally agree, but this situation is way past that, I'm worried for the child at this point and would like to do all I can to make sure it has clean diapers and enough food.
If that is the case, she is probably eligible for WIC which will help the whole family.
Where is dad in this whole situation????
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| Posted 1/3/08 8:14 PM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: So sad...
I figured. Again, I ask; why does someone who is having trouble paying her bills currently take on the responsibility of another child?? She should have considered this when she was having unprotected sex.
I'm sorry, I just don't have much sympathy for people who make a mistake like this. There's a big impact on the child and the sad part is they had no control over being in that situation. They didn't ask to be born.
It is very kind of the OP to do what she is doing REGARDLESS of the mom's situation.
In addition, I have really learned that you can never judge. There are people that get pregnant while using birth control. There are people who are loving, caring parents even if they don't have two pennies to rub together. (and sometimes are even better parents than those with tons of money!)
OP: I think you are doing something wonderful. Kudos to you 
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| Posted 1/3/08 8:23 PM |
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CroatianBride
Our Angel Ivanka Rose <3
Member since 7/07 2031 total posts
Name:
Tat
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Re: So sad...
Thank you all for your suggestions, I will def try them all!!
Just to answer a few questions from above, the dad is out of the picture completely, he was one of those "oh **** you're pregnant? Ok see you later" kind of guys. And she is a born again christian who doesn't believe in abortion even though she knows how tough times are about to get.
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| Posted 1/4/08 8:26 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: So sad...
Posted by meprecious99
Thank you all for your suggestions, I will def try them all!!
Just to answer a few questions from above, the dad is out of the picture completely, he was one of those "oh **** you're pregnant? Ok see you later" kind of guys. And she is a born again christian who doesn't believe in abortion even though she knows how tough times are about to get.
She has the right (and owes it to this child) to pursue the father to obtain child support. Period. If she cannot afford an attorney, there are nonprofit organizations that can help or she can go through the court system herself. (Yes, it's possible to do so successfully) Women in these situations are often amazingly unaware of their rights. She should do some research on her own or talk to an attorney if she can to learn her rights in NYS regarding child support. Same for the fathers of the other two children if she's not currently collecting child support. In situations where the father(s) continue not to pay, their wages and/or tax refunds can be garnished. Those kids are entitled to child support, whether or not the father wants to pay it.
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| Posted 1/4/08 8:57 AM |
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HeatherRose
Life is Good :)
Member since 11/07 6605 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad...
Posted by Tatjana
Thank you all for your suggestions, I will def try them all!!
Just to answer a few questions from above, the dad is out of the picture completely, he was one of those "oh **** you're pregnant? Ok see you later" kind of guys. And she is a born again christian who doesn't believe in abortion even though she knows how tough times are about to get.
if she is a born again, then maybe you could contact her church (we have a family memeber apart of that religion and they tend to be VERY family oriented) and see if they could start a collection for her too. They may not even be aware of it. Good Luck, and Thats really so nice of you to be trying to help her out, even if its not $$.
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| Posted 1/4/08 9:59 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: So sad...
Posted by HeatherRose
Posted by Tatjana
Thank you all for your suggestions, I will def try them all!!
Just to answer a few questions from above, the dad is out of the picture completely, he was one of those "oh **** you're pregnant? Ok see you later" kind of guys. And she is a born again christian who doesn't believe in abortion even though she knows how tough times are about to get.
if she is a born again, then maybe you could contact her church (we have a family memeber apart of that religion and they tend to be VERY family oriented) and see if they could start a collection for her too. They may not even be aware of it. Good Luck, and Thats really so nice of you to be trying to help her out, even if its not $$.
So she's born again but having $ex outside of marriage-I thought these people were very strict. Anyway, I have some baby items to donate. FM if you are interested-I have a tub, toys and a walker that doesn't walk like a bouncy seat I guess?
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| Posted 1/4/08 11:24 AM |
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LFitzy79
can hardly wait
Member since 5/05 2650 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: So sad...
don't worry too much about the registries, the shower is two weeks away, with this paycheck I'm sure most people are paying rent and left over christmas bills, everyone will probably go shopping next week....
I think getting people to donate stuff is great, just be sure not to make her feel uptight about it all...sometimes people get uncomfortable with charity-however signing her up to get coupons and stuff is great...
eta: also, it would really be helpful to her to pursue child support from the father of the baby, and perhaps she's eligible for some family assistance (food stamps, or medicaid, or shelter supplemental payments) you might want to push her to applying for these things.
Message edited 1/4/2008 11:57:34 AM.
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| Posted 1/4/08 11:55 AM |
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