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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
i don't think it makes a difference whether her friends were no shows, or co-workers. sounds to me like she's just needy and wants as much attention as possible.
Message edited 8/1/2007 2:02:28 PM.
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Posted 8/1/07 2:02 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Posted by MrsERod
i don't think it makes a difference whether her friends were no shows, or co-workers. sounds to me like she's just needy and wants as much attention as possible.
likely scenario
but homey don't play that
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:04 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Ok- any insight into the female psyche isn't going to help you here. This is not a female/male thing. This is a needy-lonely person thing.
She is hurt that no one came to her shower. That is understandable. Her taking it out on you- not so understandable. Does she know you weren't invited?
My guess is that seeing you is just a reminder of what happened. So when she sees you, she thinks about how no one showed up. Its not the most rational thing, but it could explain it.
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:04 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Posted by Shelly
Ok- any insight into the female psyche isn't going to help you here. This is not a female/male thing. This is a needy-lonely person thing.
She is hurt that no one came to her shower. That is understandable. Her taking it out on you- not so understandable. Does she know you weren't invited?
My guess is that seeing you is just a reminder of what happened. So when she sees you, she thinks about how no one showed up. Its not the most rational thing, but it could explain it.
she knows boosh was invited and declined
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:05 PM |
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dgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/07 1079 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
I think at first she took everything out on you because she was upset with who came to the shower, and now she is embarassed because she calmed down and came to her senses.
Could that be it? Maybe it explains why she looked like she was crying when she came to thank you for the present and why she's been avoiding you?
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:07 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Posted by dgirl
I think at first she took everything out on you because she was upset with who came to the shower, and now she is embarassed because she calmed down and came to her senses.
Could that be it? Maybe it explains why she looked like she was crying when she came to thank you for the present and why she's been avoiding you?
perhaps
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:08 PM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Wow Don, this is just a girl upset that none of her friends showed up. I'm sure you aren't the only one bearing the brunt of her hurt. While she should be reserving it for those "close friends" which is completely understandable, I don't see why that hurt would carry so strongly onto you at work. If you were closer it would make some sense.
I can only imagine how upset and hurt she is to not have her friends there but they are the ones she should be reserving it for. Not you.
And if it were me, it would make me stay even further away from the bachelor party....
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:09 PM |
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joenick
Us
Member since 6/06 9370 total posts
Name:
Valerie...aka...Do Me A Favor?
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Tell her to get a grip.
Your wife didn't feel comfortable going, and you didn't want to put her in an uncomfortable position.
If she can't deal, screw her (not literally- ).
She sounds a bit needy and screwy anyway.
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:12 PM |
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Jessee
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1260 total posts
Name:
Jessee
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Personally, she sounds crazy to me.
a) I would be embarassed to invite my co-worker's wife to my bridal shower if I did not have a personal relationship with her
b) I would be even more embarassed to be throwing, what sounds like a mini-tantrum, in front of a co-worker
She is obviously upset over her shower, and her lack of friends, but she sounds like a nutjob.
You did nothing but the right thing by being honest with her, sending a gift, listening to her vent.
I think my DH would just roll his eyes and walk away if any of his female co-workers treated him like that. She's acting like you owe her something more than you do - you def. don't.
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:12 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
I know you have to 'tow the line' but if this behavior continues I would email her a note to reiterate that you are coworkers and you feel she is acting unprofessionally. Maybe she will come to her senses.
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:12 PM |
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Posted by stephanief
she has some misplaced resentment about her shower and it taking it out on you....I would not lose sleep over it, she sounds a little nutty, IMHO 
This is what I think....its misplaced anger....
Honestly, dont even try and figure it out. Just be the "bigger man", dont feed into it and continue business as usual.
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:16 PM |
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JessieQ
Rest in Peace baby Rogan
Member since 6/07 1122 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Uhm, ok I get that she was upset that her friends didn't make it to her shower, but she should not take it out on you. I would not have gone either, I am invited to a male co-worker's wedding in a few months- I have met his future wife a few times, and I consider him a friend as well as a co-worker, but I still doubt I would be invited to her shower, and would feel weird going if I were.
Your co-worker is obviously misplacing her anger. I guess as far as the bachelor party, if you would feel uncomfortable I would say decline as well, hopefully even though she seems to have few friends her FH will have enough without you there. Also, I don't know how he would feel about having someone there he hardly knows.
I don't think you were rude to not go, and if she's going to get angry at you for this there's really nothing that will help the situation. You told her the truth, you acknowledged her day by sending a gift, you're still being civil to her even when she's not talking to you. If she can't accept that, then if she was upset b/c she wanted you guys as a couples friend, she missed the boat and good riddance!
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:16 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Message edited 11/10/2011 3:20:05 PM.
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:20 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Posted by suvenR
But, IMO, it seems to be common place for EVERY female on the wedding list to be invited to the shower.
I have noticed this too. For me and my family, showers are for those who are close to the bride, or at the very least, those who have a relationship with them. You have the relationship with her, not Boosh, so if men weren't invited, I don't see why any invitation was extended.
This might sound mean, but I do know people who just don't have many friends, so people get invited to these things to make them feel better about themselves, or to even up the numbers that are being invited by the DH's side. She sounds very needy and like someone who is desperately looking for new friends.
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:23 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Myabe she misconstrued your friendship as more than just office buds. I'm not saying a romantic thing, but maybe to her you are more than just an office friend, and she assumed you felt the same way?
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:32 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Posted by CathyB
Myabe she misconstrued your friendship as more than just office buds. I'm not saying a romantic thing, but maybe to her you are more than just an office friend, and she assumed you felt the same way?
maybe - and i do consider her a friend
if I was invited, I probably would have gone
but it was only Boosh
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:35 PM |
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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
I'm guessing your wife RSVP'd
Your wife declined and you guy's sent a gift. Your co-worker knew in advance that your wife was not attending.
Most showers are surprise to the bride so she probably didn't know who was going to be there until the actual shower. However, Don, I agree with everyone else, she needs to relax and get a grip. You guys did NOTHING wrong, were very generous in sending something even though Boosh wasn't going, even though I think it was weird that Boosh was invited to begin with. She needs to get over it!
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:39 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
first - go to the bachelor party. if nothing else, it's a night out of drinking lol
I feel bad for her - she sounds like she was really hurt - not by you or your wife, but by her friends.
I can totally relate to this as I was extremely disappointed with most people close to me during my wedding planning.
she'll come around.
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:40 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Posted by mrswask
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
I'm guessing your wife RSVP'd
Your wife declined and you guy's sent a gift. Your co-worker knew in advance that your wife was not attending.
Most showers are surprise to the bride so she probably didn't know who was going to be there until the actual shower. However, Don, I agree with everyone else, she needs to relax and get a grip. You guys did NOTHING wrong, were very generous in sending something even though Boosh wasn't going, even though I think it was weird that Boosh was invited to begin with. She needs to get over it!
yeah, it was a surprise - she didn't know who was going until she showed up
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:42 PM |
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oops123
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 2509 total posts
Name:
michelle
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
The girl sounds like a bit of a drama queen, and this is her time to play the "its all about me" with being the bride-to-be and all, I wouldnt feed into it, let her be silly, she'll get over it.
You did the right thing, there was nothing you did that calls for her being childish to you, I mean, really...she's a chick at work-not a family member....she needs to get over the drama, or else maybe you should turn it around and not talk to her because boosh wasnt asked to be part of the bridal party!
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:44 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Message edited 11/10/2011 3:21:32 PM.
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:44 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
I'm 10 days away from my wedding and under tremendous personal stress from other issues... and even *I* don't get where this chick is coming from.  I wouldn't even invite a coworker, let alone a coworkers SPOUSE to my shower.
Don't worry - You've done nothing wrong - Indeed, you've done everything right. Don't go to the bach party. You don't even really know the guy, so you really don't belong there.
Hopefully she'll chill out after the wedding. I'm guessing she's caving under the stress. Weddings can really bring out the worst in some people - maybe she's just upset in general about things and is unfortunately misdirecting her frustration.
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:44 PM |
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lilacwine
only love...
Member since 5/05 2034 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
whoa -- that's bizarre.
Seems like she may view your friendship in a different light than you do.
I would not say that you're skipping the bachelor party bcz you don't know the fiance well; make other plans for the night and decline due to the conflict.
If you're really interested in making her feel better, you could take the co-worker and fiancee out to dinner sometime between now and the wedding.
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:47 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Posted by lilacwine
decline due to the conflict.
If you're really interested in making her feel better, you could take the co-worker and fiancee out to dinner sometime between now and the wedding.
for the crap she's putting me through - she should be taking ME out
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:50 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: OK, I'm just not getting it....(LONG)
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by lilacwine
decline due to the conflict.
If you're really interested in making her feel better, you could take the co-worker and fiancee out to dinner sometime between now and the wedding.
for the crap she's putting me through - she should be taking ME out
Just ignore it. That's the worst thing you can do to an attention ____. 
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| Posted 8/1/07 2:52 PM |
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