Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by HeathKernandez

Posted by MsKS511

Umm, Hazeleyes, before I commented I wanted to do a tiny bit of research on your post. I found one where you mentioned that your husband was working like 12-14 hours in a warehouse. So, if we all go by your theory and "opinion", your husband was not reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly such an involved parent, now was he?

d h

Re: Not worth it to work?

Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by TessMike214

Posted by DumpsterBaby

Posted by TessMike214

I'll jump in on this post because this sounds like me.
I work 2 days a week; on Thursday nights, I waitress, & on Sundays, I bartend at a steakhouse. Fortunately, my husband works a "9-5" Monday-Friday, so he watches our 17 month old son when I work for the most part. (Unless he has OT, then it's either my parents or his). I am thinking of dropping my Thursdays just so I can say that I don't waitress anymore, but the extra $$$ is the best! I make around $100 on Thursdays, and $350 on Sundays, take home. SOOO if you do the math, I take home about $23,400/year.
I work to pay for my student loans which tally out to be $560 each month, and every 3 months, it's 680 a month, as well as a couple of credit card bills.

(I have a BA in psych, and I plan to go back to school after we have our kids and they get a little older, give or take 10 years.)

I don't HAVE to work, but If I didn't work, money would definitely be A LOT tighter!
I HATE being a waitress, been doing it for 10 years, my time IS coming to an end. I do eventually plan to drop my waitressing shift, (I'll keep the bartending shift), but as for now, I'm loving the extra money! (Even if the waitressing shift is only bringing in $400 a month, $4800 a year).

GIRLLL you know what I have to go through to make that money!!!

Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by hazeleyes33

Posted by MsKS511

Umm, Hazeleyes, before I commented I wanted to do a tiny bit of research on your post. I found one where you mentioned that your husband was working like 12-14 hours in a warehouse. So, if we all go by your theory and "opinion", your husband was not reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly such an involved parent, now was he?

Hmmmm...that must have been YEARS ago, I think like 2010? That was a temp job, yes the hours some days WERE 12-14 BUT he would be on the clock and was able to come back and forth at home and it was only 3 mins away from home. Since my kids are up early he saw them about 2-3 hours before he even left for work, he came home for dinner and then about an hour before bed.
I know this will come off as bad again, but I do feel the need to explain my posts that you felt the need to research myself on---

Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by DumpsterBaby

Posted by TessMike214

Posted by DumpsterBaby

Posted by TessMike214

I'll jump in on this post because this sounds like me.
I work 2 days a week; on Thursday nights, I waitress, & on Sundays, I bartend at a steakhouse. Fortunately, my husband works a "9-5" Monday-Friday, so he watches our 17 month old son when I work for the most part. (Unless he has OT, then it's either my parents or his). I am thinking of dropping my Thursdays just so I can say that I don't waitress anymore, but the extra $$$ is the best! I make around $100 on Thursdays, and $350 on Sundays, take home. SOOO if you do the math, I take home about $23,400/year.
I work to pay for my student loans which tally out to be $560 each month, and every 3 months, it's 680 a month, as well as a couple of credit card bills.

(I have a BA in psych, and I plan to go back to school after we have our kids and they get a little older, give or take 10 years.)

I don't HAVE to work, but If I didn't work, money would definitely be A LOT tighter!
I HATE being a waitress, been doing it for 10 years, my time IS coming to an end. I do eventually plan to drop my waitressing shift, (I'll keep the bartending shift), but as for now, I'm loving the extra money! (Even if the waitressing shift is only bringing in $400 a month, $4800 a year).

GIRLLL you know what I have to go through to make that money!!!

Oh I know!!! I used to do it side by side with you! Just think, all of Dom's drug money will someday be paying for DS's college tuition

The above statement probably sounds really bad

Message edited 4/26/2012 10:52:17 AM.

Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by smdl

Posted by seaside

Here's what I'm wondering.

If you're lucky enough to be able to have arranged things so that you feel happy with what you're doing and the time you're putting in, why on earth would you even bother to say how unfortunate others are or how far short they fall against your standards?

If you recognize that not everyone has the same views, resources, or options, what do you get out of saying things like people are "raising" the kids of these unwiseunfortunate people? Or that you're lucky? Does that really need to be said?

It's like reading a post by a sick poster and taking the time to comment on how lucky you feel to have your health. Or like reading the post of someone in debt and taking the time to comment about how smart, lucky, and solvent you are.

Really?

Actually we DO have another poster who does that.

Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by MsKS511

Posted by hazeleyes33

Posted by MsKS511

Umm, Hazeleyes, before I commented I wanted to do a tiny bit of research on your post. I found one where you mentioned that your husband was working like 12-14 hours in a warehouse. So, if we all go by your theory and "opinion", your husband was not reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly such an involved parent, now was he?

Hmmmm...that must have been YEARS ago, I think like 2010? That was a temp job, yes the hours some days WERE 12-14 BUT he would be on the clock and was able to come back and forth at home and it was only 3 mins away from home. Since my kids are up early he saw them about 2-3 hours before he even left for work, he came home for dinner and then about an hour before bed.
I know this will come off as bad again, but I do feel the need to explain my posts that you felt the need to research myself on---

Then I must be mistaken. My computer almost short circuited when I searched your name and the search criteria "job" and "dh".

Carry on

Re: Not worth it to work?

maybebaby you never like the way I respond to posts and that is ok. to clarify I was actually responding to ONE poster who said "someone else raising kids" (which in case no one realized it IS insulting) and I know that her husband has her on an allowance. it was only to HER situation that I was responding to and not yours or any other SAHM.

actually, that is the point. every single household on here has a different sitch, whether we work or stay at home. my general feeling on the situation is that we are all doing what we want and have to do to make the best balance for our kid, whatever the uniqure formula we use to come with that balance is.

yes, I work and my MIL lives with me so it would be wholly stupid of me to stay home with her when my job is easy, it pays well, is close to home, and I have an awesome bond with my kid. it's hard on ME when I leave in the morning, but he is happy with his life. he knows who his mami is and that is all that matters to me.

I hope this clear up my thoughts and people can stop quoting and wondering.

I don't care what anyone thinks about my life decisions though..I don't care if Hazel thinks my husband works too much or whatever. I don't care that MrsBurtch or MrsA01283 thinks someone else is raising my kid.

I know what happens within my four walls and that is all that really matters to me.

but maybebaby, my posts are not your style. I am probably not a nice person to you or whatever or you think I can express myself in another way...fine...but I am almost 37 years old. I don't think you can help me better

Re: Not worth it to work?

Please stop

Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by Bops

Please stop

Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by Bops

Please stop

Re: Not worth it to work?

Message edited 4/25/2012 3:29:12 PM.

Re: Not worth it to work?

to the original question ....no I don't think that that money is worth it...before dh and i got married we discussed having children and i voiced my opinions about daycare, babysitters and strangers watching my children all day long......I am NOT ok with that AT ALL FOR MY CHILDREN IN MY LIFE (just to be clear)......its sad but because of things that have happened in my own past i have trust issues when it comes to people handling my children especially from 8wks old which is when i would have to leave them to go back to work and through the years where they will not be able to tell me if anyone harmed them in any sort of way.....i was a teacher before children and i will be when my children go off to school but for now i am the sole caregiver in this family because YES GASP my husband has to work 2 jobs (although he worked these jobs prior to having children) we do struggle horribly at certain times of the year (like right now we are in a bad financial state) and other times we do ok.....we have a house with a decent mortgage, we can go vacations and we can go to restaurants..... but sometimes when its really tough no we can't do those things BUT FOR US its MUCH MORE important to have one of us be there for our children during their very early years when they are the most vulnerable and innocent rather than 18,000 after taxes.....the fact is we struggle now and my dh sometimes doesn't get to see the kids for a day straight maybe two on a bad week and yes I get sad that he has to work like this when I have a masters degree and I could work BUT BOTH OF US FEEL that for us you can't put a price on these early years with our kids, some day when I'm working and making even more than the 18,000 after taxes I will look back on my days being home with my kids and say I'm so glad I have those times and piece of my mind that I was there for them 24/7 days a week

Message edited 4/25/2012 3:43:25 PM.

Re: Not worth it to work?

Message edited 4/25/2012 3:42:33 PM.

Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by Ophelia

maybebaby you never like the way I respond to posts and that is ok. to clarify I was actually responding to ONE poster who said "someone else raising kids" (which in case no one realized it IS insulting) and I know that her husband has her on an allowance. it was only to HER situation that I was responding to and not yours or any other SAHM.

actually, that is the point. every single household on here has a different sitch, whether we work or stay at home. my general feeling on the situation is that we are all doing what we want and have to do to make the best balance for our kid, whatever the uniqure formula we use to come with that balance is.

yes, I work and my MIL lives with me so it would be wholly stupid of me to stay home with her when my job is easy, it pays well, is close to home, and I have an awesome bond with my kid. it's hard on ME when I leave in the morning, but he is happy with his life. he knows who his mami is and that is all that matters to me.

I hope this clear up my thoughts and people can stop quoting and wondering.

I don't care what anyone thinks about my life decisions though..I don't care if Hazel thinks my husband works too much or whatever. I don't care that MrsBurtch or MrsA01283 thinks someone else is raising my kid.

I know what happens within my four walls and that is all that really matters to me.

but maybebaby, my posts are not your style. I am probably not a nice person to you or whatever or you think I can express myself in another way...fine...but I am almost 37 years old. I don't think you can help me better

Re: Not worth it to work?

Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by Ophelia

maybebaby you never like the way I respond to posts and that is ok. to clarify I was actually responding to ONE poster who said "someone else raising kids" (which in case no one realized it IS insulting) and I know that her husband has her on an allowance. it was only to HER situation that I was responding to and not yours or any other SAHM.

actually, that is the point. every single household on here has a different sitch, whether we work or stay at home. my general feeling on the situation is that we are all doing what we want and have to do to make the best balance for our kid, whatever the uniqure formula we use to come with that balance is.

yes, I work and my MIL lives with me so it would be wholly stupid of me to stay home with her when my job is easy, it pays well, is close to home, and I have an awesome bond with my kid. it's hard on ME when I leave in the morning, but he is happy with his life. he knows who his mami is and that is all that matters to me.

I hope this clear up my thoughts and people can stop quoting and wondering.

I don't care what anyone thinks about my life decisions though..I don't care if Hazel thinks my husband works too much or whatever. I don't care that MrsBurtch or MrsA01283 thinks someone else is raising my kid.

I know what happens within my four walls and that is all that really matters to me.

but maybebaby, my posts are not your style. I am probably not a nice person to you or whatever or you think I can express myself in another way...fine...but I am almost 37 years old. I don't think you can help me better

Re: Not worth it to work?

God have mercy.
I need some vodka.

(I saved up for vodka by using Generic formula when DD was young. All while her daycare teachers were raising her).

Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by ShaunsMommy

Posted by MrsC614



ok, back to raising my kid half assed, as today is my day off of work.

Pffft! Lucky!!! I have to wait till the weekend like all the other FTWM's to start my half assed job of raising my kid. Boy i have some nerve procreating.

Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by NervousNell

God have mercy.
I need some vodka.

(I saved up for vodka by using Generic formula when DD was young. All while her daycare teachers were raising her).

Re: Not worth it to work?

Posted by NervousNell

God have mercy.
I need some vodka.

(I saved up for vodka by using Generic formula when DD was young. All while her daycare teachers were raising her).

Re: Not worth it to work?

Re: Not worth it to work?

I wasn't going to bother saying anything but I couldn't resist.

I'm sure every person who has an MD, JD, etc or who serves our country in one way or another or who has to take a job with long hours is rolling in their graves to think that they aren't parenting but are just paychecks to the families that they have raised or are raising. I guess we should probably tell all of them to not bother to procreate or if they want to not to go into any professions that require long hours and hard work because doctors can't parent because they are too busy right? Maybe we could just take all the parents who work long hours (I'm not saying dads as was mentioned in the post but all parents because I know plenty of moms who work those long hours with demanding professional jobs) and house them together and they can just mail their paychecks to their families instead since they aren't needed.

Sorry but my father worked those type of hours - and you know what made sure that he ALWAYS called me at least 2 times a day to hear how school was. Came home early when he could to help me with home work, took us on several vacations a year so that we could spend quality time together. Always knew what was going on in my life and when he was home it was real quality time.

My DH works those type of hours now. He would hit the ceiling if I told him that he wasn't involved with parenting his children.

I'm sure there are people who don't work those hours who might be on their computers or blackberries - or going out a lot on the weekends - or taking vacations without their children. I'm sure most of the working moms would say it while some might love to spend every waking second with their children - it is the quality of that time not the quantity of that time that ultimately is the most important. I'm sure that there are many parents who are home who never read to their children, etc.

I have said it before and will say it again - everyone has a different view of what is good for their family and what works.

Re: Not worth it to work?

eh...IMHO it takes a village. It's always been that way, just slightly different circumstances.

Re: Not worth it to work?

I sat down on the 7:08 train home from work, already feeling sad that i was going to miss seeing my cutie DS tonight before he went to bed.
Then i read this thread..

Wow

Thanks HazelEyes for making me feel even worse than i already do for being away from him for ELEVEN HOURS every friggin day.
Thank you for opening my eyes to the truly close minded thoughts that some people have about what it's like to be a FTWM for some of us. What a sheltered existence you must lead.

I don't even have the energy right now to respond to this thread and some of the truly insulting things i've read in here, and frankly i doubt it would even be worth it as some people already have their minds made up about the horrible job we must be doing 'raising' our kids (wait, can i even call it that?)

Shame on you

god, where's the "flip you the bird" emoticon when you need it!!