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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7535 total posts
Name:
DW
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Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
About a year ago, DH and I started having some problems, serious ones.
We are trying to work through them, but I have not been able to put the wedding ring back on my finger. He still doesn't wear his wedding ring to work (he says he has never been a 'jewelry guy' which I guess is true for the most part).
That being said, everyone at work knows I am married, I talk about my husband at work, and I have pictures up from our wedding in my office. But I don't wear a ring.
I don't want to be perceived as someone who is having an affair or looking (NEITHER are true), but I just can't bring myself to wear my ring after everything I went through and knowing that he doesn't wear his.
Thoughts / opinions... What would you think of someone who is married but doesn't wear a ring?
Message edited 10/31/2007 4:47:51 PM.
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Posted 10/31/07 4:32 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
I think it is a very personal choice. there is no right or wrong answer here.
and I really doubt that anyone would think you're having an affair if you don't wear a w-ring.
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| Posted 10/31/07 4:33 PM |
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sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
I don't really think it's anyone's business why you don't wear a wedding band.
If you say you're married do you really need the ring to prove it? For all I know it just is too big and you don't want it to fall off your finger. Catch my drift?
Although its not my personal choice I don't think anyone should be judging you for it without knowing the whole story.
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| Posted 10/31/07 4:35 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
a LOT of the women i work with are married and don't wear their rings, for various reasons. IMO it's a personal choice and no one's business but your own.
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| Posted 10/31/07 4:36 PM |
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MichelleR
my Becks
Member since 5/05 1772 total posts
Name:
tracyg
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
My dad and stepmom don't wear their rings. They outgrew their original rings and just didn't get new ones. I don't think anyone even notices.
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| Posted 10/31/07 4:37 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
My parents were married for over 30 years and my dad never wore his ring. I don't think people ever assumed he was looking for an affair.
I haven't been able to wear my rings since I got pregnant and while I miss them, I realized that I wear them for me and for what they symbolize to me. I don't really care what other people think and it really isn't any of their business anyway.
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| Posted 10/31/07 4:38 PM |
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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
If you are not ready to wear your ring, don't wear it - as the previous posters said it isn't anyone's business why you don't wear one.
My BIL doesn't wear a ring becuaue he lost his - he's an electrician and took it off at work, put it in his pocket and never saw it again. They just haven't gotten around to purchasing a new one. My father went without for about 10 years becuase he had to have it cut off his finger once and they didn't have the extra funds to have it fixed.
There are a hundred reasons other than being on the prowl to not wear a ring, the choice is yours and you should only wear it, if it feels right to you.
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| Posted 10/31/07 4:41 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
Posted by dpli
My parents were married for over 30 years and my dad never wore his ring. I don't think people ever assumed he was looking for an affair.
my parents just celebrated their 42 yr anniversary a few weeks ago. my Dad has never worn a w-ring.
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| Posted 10/31/07 4:43 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
Honestly, I would think it's none of my business...I might "wonder" where it is, but I would never ask. There are many reasons to not wear one; maybe one could never be afforded, maybe it's being repaired, maybe it no longer fits, maybe there are problems. That being said, try not to worry how you are perceived. You can't get by feeling like you're being a fake. I hope everything gets better. PS: When I go to yoga, I don't wear mine. I don't want to scratch it...they all know I'm married and DH comes and wears his! I bet they wonder where it is, but I really don't care what they "think."
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| Posted 10/31/07 4:44 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
I have rarely worn mine in 3 years. My finger got bigger when I was preggo and I finally had my rings made bigger but I scratched my son's face with my e-ring so back off they came.
I frankly don't care what anyone thinks.
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| Posted 10/31/07 5:01 PM |
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beautyq115
New Year!
Member since 5/05 13729 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
It's definetely a personal choice and also none of anyone's damn business if you don't wear it! I remember one day in a grad class I forgot to wear my rings and the girl said to me very appauled "where are your rings"  Why she cared I have no idea! Sometimes I just don't feel like wearing them or forget to put them on.
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| Posted 10/31/07 5:02 PM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
Dh and I hadrly ever wear our rings
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| Posted 10/31/07 5:40 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
I love my ring and wear it with pride but I don't why you would have to wear one. Its a personal choice.
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| Posted 10/31/07 6:04 PM |
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Emily
Kasey & Me! Lurves it!
Member since 7/06 8703 total posts
Name:
STBHC
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
I don't wear my rings to work or school. Besides the fact they don't fit, they are too gaudy for school/work.
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| Posted 10/31/07 6:13 PM |
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
I wear my ring as a sign that i'm married. If I forget it I feel naked, and a little off. However......everyone is diiferent and I know people who just don't care. My mom for one. She felt like who's buisness is it if she's married or not She knows she is and that's all that matters. Do what feels right for YOU and DO NOT do it based on what your husband does. Good Luck
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| Posted 10/31/07 6:43 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
Posted by headoverheels
a LOT of the women i work with are married and don't wear their rings, for various reasons. IMO it's a personal choice and no one's business but your own.
i agree with this.
the only thing is- in reality- some people might think that something is "up" whether it is an affair or that you guys are having probs. the only difference is if you CARE what they think. so, that's totally up to you and you can decide what to do accordingly.
as far as the ring situation itself goes. do you WANT to get to a point where you can wear it again? is that a goal for you and your DH in helping your relationship? where exactly do you guys stand right now? are you seeing a counselor about it?
it just doesn't seem right for both you and him to not wear them- i mean, i know he said he doesn't like jewelry but the fact that you just can't bring yourself to put it on because he doesn't wear it-- it is obvious and i can't blame you for feeling that way but it is obvious that it upsets/hurts you.
have you discussed how you feel with him?
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| Posted 10/31/07 7:21 PM |
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CunningOne
***
Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
My parents are married close to 40 years and never wore their rings. with their jobs, they couldn't.
I don't wear my rings either.... simply for the fact they don't fit me anymore after 2 kids....
It's personal and I don't think anyone really thinks twice about it.
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| Posted 10/31/07 7:30 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
While there could be many reasons why someone wouldn't wear a ring, one of them is your case--that you are not emotionally ready to wear that symbol because of the unrest in your relationship. People may question the status of your marriage, but do you care?
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| Posted 10/31/07 8:03 PM |
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sunnygirl
loving life
Member since 1/07 5413 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by dpli
My parents were married for over 30 years and my dad never wore his ring. I don't think people ever assumed he was looking for an affair.
my parents just celebrated their 42 yr anniversary a few weeks ago. my Dad has never worn a w-ring.
my parents are 40 yrs and my dad never wore one,
i don't always wear mine because of where i work, and sometimes going out i just forget it so don't worry about people judging you
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| Posted 10/31/07 8:05 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
My dh has never worn his ring to work and barely remembers on the weekends. We have been married over 14 years and while he has been wearing it alot on the weekends recently, it never really bothered me. Everyone knows he is married and he doesn't want to ruin the ring at work which does make me happy to know that he cares about it.
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| Posted 10/31/07 8:22 PM |
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happytobreathe
The Lazy Days of Summer
Member since 10/06 1413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
Don't wear it. You are not going for an image... you are doing it because it has emotional bearings for you.
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| Posted 10/31/07 8:39 PM |
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Chatham-Chick
*********************
Member since 5/05 10311 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
I probably would have never noticed if you were or weren't wearing a ring. I don't pay attention to that stuff.
My DH very rarely wears his wedding band and my father never wears his, so I guess I'm not fazed by it.
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| Posted 10/31/07 8:43 PM |
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roxygrl8
......
Member since 6/06 2987 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
Posted by MrsNYPDsGirl
About a year ago, DH and I started having some problems, serious ones.
We are trying to work through them, but I have not been able to put the wedding ring back on my finger. He still doesn't wear his wedding ring to work (he says he has never been a 'jewelry guy' which I guess is true for the most part).
That being said, everyone at work knows I am married, I talk about my husband at work, and I have pictures up from our wedding in my office. But I don't wear a ring.
I don't want to be perceived as someone who is having an affair or looking (NEITHER are true), but I just can't bring myself to wear my ring after everything I went through and knowing that he doesn't wear his.
Thoughts / opinions... What would you think of someone who is married but doesn't wear a ring?
I feel bad that you feel this way but IMO- it's nobody's business as to why you aren't wearing your ring. If they ask and you feel like telling the truth then so be it.
BUT why do you care what people would think? You really shouldn't. I hope everything works out for you.
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| Posted 10/31/07 8:46 PM |
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lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
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....
Message edited 3/7/2013 3:06:01 PM.
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| Posted 10/31/07 9:11 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Not Wearing Wedding Ring... (Opinions Please)
to me it's not a big deal- my parents had a great marriage (my mom passed away) they were married for 32 years - and neither one of them worn there ring
I wear my everyday- my DH never wears his- just finds it uncomfortable and he is not a jewlery person-
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| Posted 10/31/07 9:21 PM |
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