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Moosey911
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 771 total posts
Name:
Nicki
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Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
Well, I didn't get the nanny position. She said she couldn't take the chance on me being with her children for 5 months and then possibly not coming back after I gave birth. I told her that there was no way that would happen since I need the income and I'd even be willing to sign a contract, but she said she was going to continue looking and wished me luck.
Sorry lady....but it's gonna take a LOT more than friggin LUCK....I need a MIRACLE now!!! I'm just completely screwed. I really don't know what I'm going to do now....I've exhausted all of my options and may just have to try something simple like a $10/hr job for now--at least that will give me food to eat--but they're still going to take my car and the landlord will kick me out eventually. ARRRGHHH!!! It's amazing how quickly life circumstances can change. Three years ago I was traveling the world in designer clothes with a $30K savings, and now, after my ex-DH stole everything from me--I have nothing. Life truly sucks sometimes.
Ok, vent over. Sorry ladies---and thanks for listening.
I'm not sure who or how many people on here know my story, but I'm struggling in a very bad way right now for money. I'm pregnant, single, and unemployed. I seriously don't know where my rent is going to come from and I'm scared %hitless.....BUT,
I have an in-person interview for a Nanny position on Monday. We spoke over the phone for about 40 minutes on Wed and she asked me to come meet her and the children in person on Monday. I am REALLY torn about whether to tell her I'm 16 weeks pregnant during that interview or just wear baggy clothes and hide it until she actually offers me the position (IF, she offers me the position).
In my mind, it's better to be honest in the beginning with a job that is really dependent on trust and loyalty with her children BUT, on the other hand--I've already been turned down from 7 jobs because of my "honesty." So, being that I'm in such an extreme position financially, now I'm thinking it's best NOT to tell her and just wait and see.
IF she does offer me the job, when should I tell her??? I have FULL intentions on working until the day I pop, and then I've arranged with my Mom and the baby's father to figure out some sort of childcare arrangements---so, unless she offers, I wouldn't expect to take my son to her home. And, I also intend on just taking 2-3 weeks off---nothing more.
What are your thoughts? I'm extremely desperate at this point and truly believe honesty is just going to screw me over in the end....
Message edited 9/2/2008 11:18:50 PM.
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Posted 8/31/08 3:08 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....
I don't see how it can hurt to be honest. If you plan on taking off a few weeks, then it would be like someone else taking off for a long vacation. They must expect people need time off.
I wish you the best of luck!!!!!!
Message edited 8/31/2008 3:19:53 AM.
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| Posted 8/31/08 3:19 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....
I'll be honest. I would be PIZZED if I hired someone to take care of my kids then found out they lied to me. It's different if you were VERY early in pg and perhaps "didn't know", but to be in your 2nd trimester and knowingly keep that info from me would be outright lying (to me). In this situation, being honest upfront would be best. I want COMPLETE trust in my childcare providers.
I am so sorry about your situation- as I just don't see any "right" answer in this- because I understand your reasoning for not disclosing right away completely. Have you looked into any "work from home" jobs?
You mention your mom is willing to help- have you thought about moving back home until you get on your feet?
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| Posted 8/31/08 9:24 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....
I would be really upset if I hired you to be my nanny and then you told me you were pregnant. At least if you told me off the bat, I'd have more of an opportunity to decide if I liked you enough to have to worry about finding other childcare while you were out after having the baby. Also, I just want to say that you should prepare for the worst case scenario in that you might be out of work much longer than 2-3 weeks. What if you have a c-section? You won't be back to work after 2 or 3 weeks, I can tell you that. I'm not trying to be negative, I just want you to consider all the possibilities. Have you tried Starbucks? They have benefits for people who work 20hours a week and up. Just an option. I believe Home depot is also good for that. I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I'd tell this woman you're pregnant, though.
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| Posted 8/31/08 9:32 AM |
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Moosey911
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 771 total posts
Name:
Nicki
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....
That's what I was hoping to hear from you Mommies. Thank you. I know I would be pizzed too if I were in the situation, it's just that I've become extremely desperate at this point. I will be completely honest with her tomorrow and see how it goes.
As far as places like Starbucks, Home Depot, etc...I'm a very well educated woman (two B.A.'s and a M.A.) with 15 years of career experience. I am trying my best to find a job that will be able to support my current bills and allow me to find stability for a couple of years until baby boy is a little older. My rent alone is $1300 with a car payment (lease) of $440/month and insurance of $108/month---and those are just the basics, so $10-$12/hr isn't going to cut it...and uinfortunately, my MA is in forensic psych and I can't get a job in that field without a PhD (which I had full intentions on pursuing 2 years ago pre-divorce). But, now I'm going to be going for my R.N. and because of my medical experience, I should be able to finish it within a year or so. But, in the meantime, I need to pay my bills and live....and nobody wants to hire a pregnant lady. I've never been a desk-job kinda girl, so although I can type 70wpm and build computers, my resume doesn't reflect that and nobody wants to take the chance on a "first-timer" for a desk job apparently.
So, that's why I went the nanny route. She is paying decently (enough to live and pay my bills) and it's a place for me to be comfortable for the next couple of years until I can finish yet another degree program and get back in the saddle.
Thank you ladies very much for your advice...it's EXACTLY what I needed to hear.
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| Posted 8/31/08 10:33 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....
I agree with the others in that you should mention it up front even though you "legally" aren't required to.
Good luck!! I hope you get the job. Here's some from one single parent to another 
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| Posted 8/31/08 10:42 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....
I would be completely honest right from the start. Hopefully she will be understanding and sympathetic about it from one mom to another.
I hope it all works out.
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| Posted 8/31/08 11:01 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....
I would not lie.
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| Posted 8/31/08 11:43 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....
Posted by Moosey911
That's what I was hoping to hear from you Mommies. Thank you. I know I would be pizzed too if I were in the situation, it's just that I've become extremely desperate at this point. I will be completely honest with her tomorrow and see how it goes.
As far as places like Starbucks, Home Depot, etc...I'm a very well educated woman (two B.A.'s and a M.A.) with 15 years of career experience. I am trying my best to find a job that will be able to support my current bills and allow me to find stability for a couple of years until baby boy is a little older. My rent alone is $1300 with a car payment (lease) of $440/month and insurance of $108/month---and those are just the basics, so $10-$12/hr isn't going to cut it...and uinfortunately, my MA is in forensic psych and I can't get a job in that field without a PhD (which I had full intentions on pursuing 2 years ago pre-divorce). But, now I'm going to be going for my R.N. and because of my medical experience, I should be able to finish it within a year or so. But, in the meantime, I need to pay my bills and live....and nobody wants to hire a pregnant lady. I've never been a desk-job kinda girl, so although I can type 70wpm and build computers, my resume doesn't reflect that and nobody wants to take the chance on a "first-timer" for a desk job apparently.
So, that's why I went the nanny route. She is paying decently (enough to live and pay my bills) and it's a place for me to be comfortable for the next couple of years until I can finish yet another degree program and get back in the saddle.
Thank you ladies very much for your advice...it's EXACTLY what I needed to hear.
I completely understand that you have degrees and vast job experience, I just got the impression that you were hard-up for money with bills to pay. I just thought if you needed some money in the interim, those are good places you could make some extra cash while still looking for something. Anyway, I hope that you get this nanny position and that it all works out.
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| Posted 8/31/08 11:47 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....
I would be honest from the start, even though it might be hard...Did you consider maybe working for an in-home group family daycare ? I know a lot of my fellow daycare providers (I am one) hire expecting moms all the time- I see them often at my classes...Usually they will take your DC into consideration when hiring you and figuring out a wage, but then yiu get the best of both worlds, spending time w/ your DC and not having to stress over childcare and earning $ at the same time...Just a though to consider- Good Luck !!!!
ETA- Just read your follow-up post and see you have a medical back-ground....I wonder if elder care (running errands etc...Dr's appoinments etc...) would pay well...i know my friemds grandma was paying big $$$ for someone to just be a companion and doing simple things that family couldnt provide
Message edited 9/1/2008 11:05:16 AM.
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| Posted 9/1/08 11:01 AM |
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Moosey911
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 771 total posts
Name:
Nicki
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
Bump for the update.
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| Posted 9/2/08 11:19 PM |
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bayla
Love my two kiddos :)
Member since 8/06 7178 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
i am so sorry  i hope that things work out for you and you find something soon!!
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| Posted 9/2/08 11:21 PM |
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Matteos-mommy
Can't believe I'm 2
Member since 12/07 1260 total posts
Name:
L.
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
I'm so sorry, the stress you must be going through. I pray that you find something soon.
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| Posted 9/2/08 11:25 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
does it have to be a nanny position? I could probably help you out in my place. I would need some info on degrees or no degrees etc....
The benefit IMO would be that once you have the baby you would get maternity leave and the 6-8 weeks paid disability. Not sure if thats an option for you. There are so many different levels in my company.
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| Posted 9/2/08 11:26 PM |
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Moosey911
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 771 total posts
Name:
Nicki
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
Posted by PrincessP
does it have to be a nanny position? I could probably help you out in my place. I would need some info on degrees or no degrees etc....
The benefit IMO would be that once you have the baby you would get maternity leave and the 6-8 weeks paid disability. Not sure if thats an option for you. There are so many different levels in my company.
You have FM. Thank you.
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| Posted 9/2/08 11:37 PM |
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Moosey911
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 771 total posts
Name:
Nicki
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
Thank you for the hugs and prayers ladies....you have no idea how much I appreciate them. I'm so glad I have this board to vent on!!! I feel so ashamed and embarrassed to vent to my "real life" friends, I'd certainly explode without the ability to do it on here! You are all truly wonderful "listeners."
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| Posted 9/2/08 11:39 PM |
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Matteos-mommy
Can't believe I'm 2
Member since 12/07 1260 total posts
Name:
L.
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
Posted by PrincessP
does it have to be a nanny position? I could probably help you out in my place. I would need some info on degrees or no degrees etc....
The benefit IMO would be that once you have the baby you would get maternity leave and the 6-8 weeks paid disability. Not sure if thats an option for you. There are so many different levels in my company.
That is so kind of you and reminds us that these boards can be helpful to those in need.
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| Posted 9/2/08 11:42 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
Would you consider Cablevision? They have good benefits & you can work in the call center. It's not ideal but it can bring in some money & more importantly benefits (free cable & internet too)
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| Posted 9/2/08 11:43 PM |
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Moosey911
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 771 total posts
Name:
Nicki
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
Posted by nrthshgrl
Would you consider Cablevision? They have good benefits & you can work in the call center. It's not ideal but it can bring in some money & more importantly benefits (free cable & internet too)
Hmmm....never even thought about it. Do I just contact the local Cablevision? I'll check out their website now--maybe they have a careers section. Do you have any idea what they pay scale is?
I can't believe how awesome you ladies are! I'm really trying to keep an open mind...it's just so hard to after being turned down for 8 positions now due to pregnancy (I have NEVER been turned down for any job before---shoot, I was accepted by the FBI for goodness sake!  So I know for a fact it's merely the pregnancy that is holding me back). I think I'm just not going to tell any potential employer at this point and let them fire me if they don't like the fact that I "hid" it from them.
Please keep the ideas coming...since I've never had a traditional "desk job" before, it's tough for me to think of places to look. So, I'll take whatever ideas you can throw my way.
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| Posted 9/3/08 12:02 AM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
I am so sorry. Can you possibly trade in the car and get something that is much less a month and kind of start over?? Have you talk to a lawyer to find out your options?
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| Posted 9/3/08 5:28 AM |
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Moosey911
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 771 total posts
Name:
Nicki
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
Posted by Jamie
I am so sorry. Can you possibly trade in the car and get something that is much less a month and kind of start over?? Have you talk to a lawyer to find out your options?
Trust me, THAT was first on my agenda when all of this started. Unfortunately, it's a lease and I'm stuck in it until Oct 2010. I can certainly turn in it...but it will cost me nearly $14K to do so. I actually tried turning it in for something smaller when gas prices started sneaking up and tried again when things got bad (with proof of unemployment, pregnancy, etc...) but they didn't care in the least. They said if I can't afford it, then to have it repo'd...problem is, I've been trying to get my credit out of the gutter since my divorce, and that's the last thing I want to do. But, I may not have any other options in a few months if I can't make the payments. THEN, of course, I'll have to figure out how to get to a job interview, to find a job, to make the money, to buy another car. It just plain 'ol sux!!!! One big revolving circle!!
Can't talk to a lawyer because I can't afford one....my divorce lawyer helped put me in this situation to being with. My ex-DH stole over $30K out of my savings account after being legally separated and my idiot lawyer never fought to get it back. If I had that money now, I'd be ok. But, I don't, so it is what it is. I don't trust lawyers as far as I can throw them right now!!!
Thank you so much for the though--they really mean a lot. 
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| Posted 9/3/08 6:07 AM |
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
Have you thought of a daycare position? I know my daycare really needs people very badly. Even if you take a floating position (you go to whatever class needs you - sometimes a teacher is absent, or you will relieve for teacher lunch coverage) - its not a lot of money, but its something, and I know most places would be happy to take you back. I'm not sure but you may get a good deal on daycare...
GL I can relate to where you are - we were in a scary place when I was pregant!!!!
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| Posted 9/3/08 6:48 AM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
I'm so sorry you didn't get the position I hope something comes along soon! What town do you live in?
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| Posted 9/3/08 7:15 AM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
I am so sorry...I hope things look up soon!
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| Posted 9/3/08 7:40 AM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Need some more advice from the LIF Mommies....UPDATED!!!!
On the car situation, try another dealership.
I have a HOnda until 2010 and Hyundai said they would take it from me tomorrow no problem!
Good Luck with everything!!!!
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| Posted 9/3/08 7:59 AM |
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