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HelenZ
So worth the wait :)
Member since 10/07 2862 total posts
Name:
Helen
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Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
and I don't know how much I should give. here's the background:
-she RSVP'd for 2 to attend my wedding, on the day of, came solo b/c she said her fiance had to work (which I totally understand, and she's a very considerate person so I don't think she was lying). She gave $200
-I was going to give $300 to her, since its me & a guest going, but my friend thinks I should give exactly what she gave me since her fiance would've been part of my final head count . I also gave her a generous $100 gift card at her shower so maybe I should consider that too? (but that's b/c I bought it at Waldbaums and they were all out of $50 cards!  that's what I get for waiting til the last minute!).
how much would you give?
Thanks for your help!! 
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Posted 7/10/08 7:32 AM  |
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HelenZ
So worth the wait :)
Member since 10/07 2862 total posts
Name:
Helen
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
thank you to whoever voted!!! 
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| Posted 7/10/08 7:36 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
If I go to a wedding with DH I give $300 - so I would just give that.
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| Posted 7/10/08 7:38 AM |
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HelenZ
So worth the wait :)
Member since 10/07 2862 total posts
Name:
Helen
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
Posted by Tilde
If I go to a wedding with DH I give $300 - so I would just give that.
thanks!! I didn't want to feel like I was going tit for tat.....and btw, its at Russo's so I kind of feel like I should give a good gift.
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| Posted 7/10/08 7:52 AM |
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Theresa05
Sofialiciciousssssssssssss
Member since 10/06 4891 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
have fun!!!!! russos ROCKS!
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| Posted 7/10/08 8:18 AM |
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vmac
Mommy VMac
Member since 8/07 1860 total posts
Name:
Vanessa
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
I would give what you would normally give, so I voted for $300.
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| Posted 7/10/08 8:28 AM |
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ARIELSMOM
Love my Babes
Member since 8/05 5889 total posts
Name:
MEREDITH
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
when i go to a wedding i give what i can. I always try to give a little more, but if its at a time when there is no extra money, then i do what i can. I honestly feel that its not about how much you give, its about being with the couple and sharing their process with them. The gift is exactly that- a gift and no amount should be expected.
So if you can do 2- do it- if you can do 3- do it, its what you have.
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| Posted 7/10/08 8:33 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
when we have weddings that we are not in we always give $250.. we feel that its a good amount!!
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| Posted 7/10/08 8:36 AM |
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twobabies
Praying
Member since 7/05 9662 total posts
Name:
Mrs. Honeybee
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
Posted by MetsGirl07
when we have weddings that we are not in we always give $250.. we feel that its a good amount!!
us too.
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| Posted 7/10/08 8:37 AM |
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jxnoscar
Baby Delicious!
Member since 8/06 4156 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
So you piad for her guest (who did not end up attending your wedding) and she gave you $200?
Then end of discussion, you give 200 right back to her.
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| Posted 7/10/08 9:48 AM |
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
If you give $300 she may feel bad that $200 wasn't a good enough gift. I had a friend and her boyfriend give me $100. They are not from here and it is a generous gift. If I give them $300 she might feel bad that she did not give enough.
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| Posted 7/10/08 10:27 AM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
I wouldn't base my gift on what that person gave me, unless I really had no idea what an apporopriate gift would be. Everyone's financial situation is different & sometimes people just don't know what to give. I didn't, for the first few weddings I went to.
She gave you $200. That's a reasonable gift. It wasn't like regifted a $25 dollar gift card to Starbucks or something.
If $300 is what you usually give, and you can still afford that, go with that.
Posted by architectnycity
If you give $300 she may feel bad that $200 wasn't a good enough gift.
I can see that, but I would think that would only matter if it was a bigger difference thant $100.
If that is a concern, go with $250.
Message edited 7/10/2008 10:36:22 AM.
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| Posted 7/10/08 10:33 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
i don't think that she only gave $200 b/c her fiance didn't come - she had to have known that you already paid for his "spot" right? so if she was giving a gift based on that, it shouldn't have mattered. it seems like she gave you what she felt was appropriate/could afford.
that being said, i think you should give what you always give. DH and i always give the same amount when we go to a wedding, and i wouldn't change the amount in this case either.
Message edited 7/10/2008 10:38:41 AM.
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| Posted 7/10/08 10:38 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
Posted by headoverheels
i don't think that she only gave $200 b/c her fiance didn't come - she had to have known that you already paid for his "spot" right? so if she was giving a gift based on that, it shouldn't have mattered. it seems like she gave you what she felt was appropriate/could afford.
that being said, i think you should give what you always give. DH and i always give the same amount when we go to a wedding, and i wouldn't change the amount in this case either.
I agree. i would give whatever I would normally give. It's from the both of us regardless if SO/DH/DW an attend. It's not about how much money you spent on your wedding..that's your choice, not your guests.
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| Posted 7/10/08 10:40 AM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
hmmm my gut says give her exactly what she gave you...
my heart says, if it were me, i would feel bad and give 300.
i'm NO help.
but i just wanted to say russo's is effing AWESOME and you'll have the BEST food ever -- DON'T EAT ANYTHING BEFORE -- because omg the food - and the service! it was AWESOME.
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| Posted 7/10/08 10:44 AM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
give what you think is right---i don't think it has to be tit for tat.
oh and seriously---you are gonna LOVE russo's---my GAWD -- greatest food at a RH i've ever had in my LIFE!!!
cross your fingers that they are doing a Vienesse hour---cause there are no words for how outrageously delish it is!
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| Posted 7/10/08 10:48 AM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
I don't know, I think $200 is a nice gift. For people who we're not super close with, $200 is our standard gift and I think it's nice. A girl I work with just got married, we could not go, and I still gave her $200.
Edit: I never count the shower toward the wedding; whatever I gave/bought for the shower, it's totally separate.
Message edited 7/10/2008 11:06:55 AM.
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:05 AM |
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leese
Sarge!
Member since 5/05 1965 total posts
Name:
Leese
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
I see nothing wrong with $200 back to her!
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:07 AM |
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jxnoscar
Baby Delicious!
Member since 8/06 4156 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
Posted by leese
I see nothing wrong with $200 back to her!
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:08 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
and more importantly. get a doggy bag and drop it by my house on the way home - thanks!
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:12 AM |
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Candy Girl
Candy girl- you are so sweet!
Member since 11/07 6349 total posts
Name:
erin
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
I would give 200.
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:24 AM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
$300
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:25 AM |
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BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here
Member since 5/07 8274 total posts
Name:
BunnyWife
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
I think 200 would be fine. Especially considering you also gave her that 100 shower gift. Have fun at the wedding
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:28 AM |
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Katie111806
Team Pink!
Member since 12/06 5349 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
I'd give $300, but don't see anything wrong with giving her $200 either.
Enjoy! 
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:31 AM |
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HelenZ
So worth the wait :)
Member since 10/07 2862 total posts
Name:
Helen
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Re: Need advice- going to a wedding this weekend......(w/ poll)
Posted by jxnoscar
So you piad for her guest (who did not end up attending your wedding) and she gave you $200?
Then end of discussion, you give 200 right back to her.
this is exactly what my friend said!! I'm still on the fence w/ what to give, I might just go w/ what we'd normally give so I don't feel guilty afterwards!
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| Posted 7/10/08 1:01 PM |
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