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My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Get to know the other parents who have kids in the same center/school. Make a promise to look out for each others' kids and stick to that promise. This is very important and this advice comes from someone who had a very eye opening experience this week. Parents pass through at different times and they can provide each other with information. I apologize again for scaring anyone but this particular piece of advice is too important not to share. I am requesting that this advice somehow be kept on page 1 for as long as possible. Thank you.
Message edited 9/11/2009 6:15:51 PM.
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Posted 9/11/09 5:53 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare moms (and perhaps all school moms)
I 100% agree. I have become friendly with a handful of Moms AND Dads in Abby's class. I will ALWAYS look out for them and any other child.
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| Posted 9/11/09 5:56 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare moms (and perhaps all school moms)
Message edited 11/29/2011 4:01:54 PM.
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| Posted 9/11/09 6:08 PM |
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare moms (and perhaps all school moms)
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
this goes for dads too!
Sorry, I should have worded it that way because Scott is more outgoing than I am anyway and he does go to the center (or did, since riight now D is not enrolled anywhere)!!!!!!!!! Going to change my wording now!!!!!!!!! 
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| Posted 9/11/09 6:14 PM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
I must ask: what happened???
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| Posted 9/11/09 6:17 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Message edited 11/29/2011 4:02:40 PM.
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| Posted 9/11/09 6:18 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by WhatNow
I must ask: what happened???
I am wondering too! Please fill us in.
You have me thinking...
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| Posted 9/11/09 6:19 PM |
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by WhatNow
I must ask: what happened???
I gave some information a few days ago. Right now I can't give much more information. I have shared the information with those who have kids in the same center and have a safety reason to know right away. Feel free to FM if you think you have a child in the same center that mine was in.
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| Posted 9/11/09 6:20 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by lvdolphins
Posted by WhatNow
I must ask: what happened???
I am wondering too! Please fill us in.
You have me thinking...
I know, it's really starting to freak me out being that I am sending my son to nursery school for the first time next week. 
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| Posted 9/11/09 6:33 PM |
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mom2aidan
2 boys & 1 girl :)
Member since 11/06 1874 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by lvdolphins
Posted by WhatNow
I must ask: what happened???
I am wondering too! Please fill us in.
You have me thinking...
I know, it's really starting to freak me out being that I am sending my son to nursery school for the first time next week.
Me too
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| Posted 9/11/09 6:42 PM |
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
I really think it was an isolated incident and that many places have great systems of checks and balances. I do not want to scare people. The group experience is great for children as long as they are being treated properly. Ask questions, drop in if you can and like I said, get to know other parents. I wish this did not happen. I considered not posting about it but I need to be greedy for some LIF support to get through a difficult situation. 
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| Posted 9/11/09 6:47 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Just curious...what did you end up doing with your son?
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| Posted 9/11/09 6:50 PM |
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by PrincessP
Just curious...what did you end up doing with your son?
done with that center but do not know where he will end up.
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| Posted 9/11/09 6:56 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by Kerie-is-so-very
Posted by PrincessP
Just curious...what did you end up doing with your son?
done with that center but do not know where he will end up.
That really stinks. We've been stuck in your situation where something went wrong and we needed immediate daycare. The whole experience just sux. Hopefully you will find something better.
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| Posted 9/11/09 6:59 PM |
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cloddy
Holiday 2011 photo
Member since 8/05 8088 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
I usually try not to pry or be nosy if people don't want to share but the thing is this is scary to so many of us b/c how do we know whether our kids are in the same center as yours if we don't which center your son is in? KWIM? Obviously the advice is good advice no matter your child is enrolled, but if something happened to another toddler that was bad enough for you to pull your son out then it's probably bad enough that other parents would want to pull their child out as well.
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| Posted 9/11/09 7:00 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
I know you are trying to help but I find these crypic messages almost do more harm then good. You have left me with so many questions and kind of make me think, "Am I missing something when I drop the kids off?" I know that isn't your intention but without more information and specifics, it really leaves us parents not in the know, very concerned about something that may not be a concern.
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| Posted 9/11/09 8:56 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by cloddy
I usually try not to pry or be nosy if people don't want to share but the thing is this is scary to so many of us b/c how do we know whether our kids are in the same center as yours if we don't which center your son is in? KWIM? Obviously the advice is good advice no matter your child is enrolled, but if something happened to another toddler that was bad enough for you to pull your son out then it's probably bad enough that other parents would want to pull their child out as well.
If you run a search you will find Kerie's original post with some more information. But asking her to repeat/relive etc is IMHO, totally missing the point of this post, which is . . . get to know the parents of the other kids, spend time chatting with them if possible, don't just show up, drop off your kid, and then show up and pick up your kid at the end of the day.
One day, you (the collective you) could find yourself pulling your child out of daycare for no bigger reason than your DH lost his job and you can't afford it. Would you know how to get in touch with your DC's classmates to invite them for a playdate?
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| Posted 9/11/09 9:00 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Posted by cloddy
I usually try not to pry or be nosy if people don't want to share but the thing is this is scary to so many of us b/c how do we know whether our kids are in the same center as yours if we don't which center your son is in? KWIM? Obviously the advice is good advice no matter your child is enrolled, but if something happened to another toddler that was bad enough for you to pull your son out then it's probably bad enough that other parents would want to pull their child out as well.
If you run a search you will find Kerie's original post with some more information. But asking her to repeat/relive etc is IMHO, totally missing the point of this post, which is . . . get to know the parents of the other kids, spend time chatting with them if possible, don't just show up, drop off your kid, and then show up and pick up your kid at the end of the day. One day, you (the collective you) could find yourself pulling your child out of daycare for no bigger reason than your DH lost his job and you can't afford it. Would you know how to get in touch with your DC's classmates to invite them for a playdate?
I actually just did a search and read the original post and has upset me EVEN MORE and didn't give very much information other then it involed the teacher.
Her post has put a knot in my stomach and has upset me GREATLY!
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| Posted 9/11/09 9:08 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by shamrock124
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Posted by cloddy
I usually try not to pry or be nosy if people don't want to share but the thing is this is scary to so many of us b/c how do we know whether our kids are in the same center as yours if we don't which center your son is in? KWIM? Obviously the advice is good advice no matter your child is enrolled, but if something happened to another toddler that was bad enough for you to pull your son out then it's probably bad enough that other parents would want to pull their child out as well.
If you run a search you will find Kerie's original post with some more information. But asking her to repeat/relive etc is IMHO, totally missing the point of this post, which is . . . get to know the parents of the other kids, spend time chatting with them if possible, don't just show up, drop off your kid, and then show up and pick up your kid at the end of the day. One day, you (the collective you) could find yourself pulling your child out of daycare for no bigger reason than your DH lost his job and you can't afford it. Would you know how to get in touch with your DC's classmates to invite them for a playdate?
I actually just did a search and read the original post and has upset me EVEN MORE and didn't give very much information other then it involed the teacher.
Her post has put a knot in my stomach and has upset me GREATLY!
ITA! The original post gave no details and now we are all left wondering what we should be on the lookout for. IMO it's almost better not to post anything at all instead of such vague details that just leave our minds to run wild with what could have possibly happened.
I'm choosing to not click on any of these posts anymore because I don't need my mind getting the best of me when I have zero details at all. I couldn't imagine if I was a parent reading this who has a child in daycare fulltime. I'm worried and my son is only going four hours a week.
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| Posted 9/11/09 9:12 PM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
I think that overall this is good advice...you should get to know the parents in some way because unless you have blinders on...you will get to know the kids. My new name is Lucas' mom (nice to meet you all) and as the kids walk through the hallway that's all I hear. You will find yourself talking to them and spending time with them...they are your child's friends and it makes sense to at least know the parent's in some small way. These children move together in packs to new rooms too so it's the same faces all the day with just a few thrown in.
I will say that when we were at our old daycare Thia's son was in the same class as Lucas. She came in after we dropped off and would FM to let me know how Lucas was...happy etc. That was nothing short of great! At our current center another LIF mommy's DD joined my son's room and I would always make it a point to see her and say hi if I was in early. Of course helped that my son adored her!
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| Posted 9/11/09 9:13 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by shamrock124
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Posted by cloddy
I usually try not to pry or be nosy if people don't want to share but the thing is this is scary to so many of us b/c how do we know whether our kids are in the same center as yours if we don't which center your son is in? KWIM? Obviously the advice is good advice no matter your child is enrolled, but if something happened to another toddler that was bad enough for you to pull your son out then it's probably bad enough that other parents would want to pull their child out as well.
If you run a search you will find Kerie's original post with some more information. But asking her to repeat/relive etc is IMHO, totally missing the point of this post, which is . . . get to know the parents of the other kids, spend time chatting with them if possible, don't just show up, drop off your kid, and then show up and pick up your kid at the end of the day. One day, you (the collective you) could find yourself pulling your child out of daycare for no bigger reason than your DH lost his job and you can't afford it. Would you know how to get in touch with your DC's classmates to invite them for a playdate?
I actually just did a search and read the original post and has upset me EVEN MORE and didn't give very much information other then it involed the teacher.
Her post has put a knot in my stomach and has upset me GREATLY!
ITA! The original post gave no details and now we are all left wondering what we should be on the lookout for. IMO it's almost better not to post anything at all instead of such vague details that just leave our minds to run wild with what could have possibly happened.
I'm choosing to not click on any of these posts anymore because I don't need my mind getting the best of me when I have zero details at all. I couldn't imagine if I was a parent reading this who has a child in daycare fulltime. I'm worried and my son is only going four hours a week.
I have a DD in care F/T and her FIRST day was Tuesday - the same day this happened. Frankly, I know all the details and knowing doesn't mean anything or change the message. Every single solitary parent should get to know the parents of the other kids in their DC's class/room. To follow up on my own post, every single solitary parent should know what the daycare regulations say, so when they pick up/drop off/stop by they can spot a violation immediately, AND have a plan of action as to how they will handle it.
For those that are interested here is the link to the regulations . Read them, become familiar with them, and pay attention.
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| Posted 9/11/09 9:18 PM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by shamrock124
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Posted by cloddy
I usually try not to pry or be nosy if people don't want to share but the thing is this is scary to so many of us b/c how do we know whether our kids are in the same center as yours if we don't which center your son is in? KWIM? Obviously the advice is good advice no matter your child is enrolled, but if something happened to another toddler that was bad enough for you to pull your son out then it's probably bad enough that other parents would want to pull their child out as well.
If you run a search you will find Kerie's original post with some more information. But asking her to repeat/relive etc is IMHO, totally missing the point of this post, which is . . . get to know the parents of the other kids, spend time chatting with them if possible, don't just show up, drop off your kid, and then show up and pick up your kid at the end of the day. One day, you (the collective you) could find yourself pulling your child out of daycare for no bigger reason than your DH lost his job and you can't afford it. Would you know how to get in touch with your DC's classmates to invite them for a playdate?
I actually just did a search and read the original post and has upset me EVEN MORE and didn't give very much information other then it involed the teacher.
Her post has put a knot in my stomach and has upset me GREATLY!
ITA! The original post gave no details and now we are all left wondering what we should be on the lookout for. IMO it's almost better not to post anything at all instead of such vague details that just leave our minds to run wild with what could have possibly happened.
I'm choosing to not click on any of these posts anymore because I don't need my mind getting the best of me when I have zero details at all. I couldn't imagine if I was a parent reading this who has a child in daycare fulltime. I'm worried and my son is only going four hours a week.
I have a DD in care F/T and her FIRST day was Tuesday - the same day this happened. Frankly, I know all the details and knowing doesn't mean anything or change the message. Every single solitary parent should get to know the parents of the other kids in their DC's class/room. To follow up on my own post, every single solitary parent should know what the daycare regulations say, so when they pick up/drop off/stop by they can spot a violation immediately, AND have a plan of action as to how they will handle it.
For those that are interested here is the link to the regulations . Read them, become familiar with them, and pay attention.
Honestly.... I have to speak up and say that this message is still too vague to parent's who are now alarmed with all the terrible thoughts these messages send out.
Every parent cannot know each regulation word for word...my personal opinion is that you know what is right and what is wrong...and what you find unacceptble. Every parent has every right to question anything and everything they see on instinct alone. I can't image that the OP mentally referenced a regulation when she saw whatever happened...I am pretty sure that she went on instinct...this is not right. The rest comes after and helps to support the urgency of the matter.
You have more information than we do...please step back and understand that for everyone outside of this story it is frightening. We trust our children with these care providers and we battle fear, guilt and worry every minute of every day. You can image that this troubles people...especially first-time daycare parents.
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| Posted 9/11/09 9:24 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by Ang-Rich
You have more information than we do...please step back and understand that for everyone outside of this story it is frightening. We trust our children with these care providers and we battle fear, guilt and worry every minute of every day. You can image that this troubles people...especially first-time daycare parents.
Exactly. Sometimes not knowing is worse than knowing. Our minds create all sorts of scenarios of our worst fears and we have no idea if it's even anywhere close to the actual situation. That's scary!
I don't have a child in day care, but I plan to enroll her in nursery school next year and this is scary to me!
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| Posted 9/11/09 9:28 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Just to calm the mothers of children in daycare my 2 children have been in daycare for YEARS and never once have they been hurt or mistreated. Of course you should investigate your center and make sure you are comfortable with the situation and teachers/care givers but also know that there is a mom that has used daycare for many years and has never had reason to post anything like this.
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| Posted 9/11/09 9:29 PM |
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
There is an state investigation into this situation. I am hoping that they do the right thing. The right thing involves a statement from me to the state, not a statement from me to LIF. I did not have to tell any of this to any of you, nor did I even have to report it. I witnessed something against a child who is not my own but I still decided to step forward. When I first posted about it, I was too upset to realize that my very own friends who had kids starting daycare that day became very scared even though they are not at our center. I have apologized up and down for that. When I calmed down a bit, I decided not to pull the post because all parents should be vigilant.
Today was the very first time I spoke to the director of the center? Why? Because she accepted hearsay information from staff members. I sought her out, not vice versa. Shame on her! In our very first discussion of this she said that she heard that at first I mentioned grabbing of a child and then I mentioned flinging. She accused me of being contradictory for using those 2 words, which are somehow extremely different to her. Well, those words are not so different to me and BOTH of those actions were involved. So, now you know something.
We LOVED this center before. LOVED IT!!!!!!!! I did not want it to end this way.
I have responded to several FMs from people who thought it might be their center. I have nothing to hide but re-hashing does nothing for anyone and it puts the situation at risk of more of the director's BS.
I thought that most LIFers know that I am a vendor here and that you might can reasonably assume that the daycare center is not clear across the island from my office, the location if which is known to many people here who have told me that they have passed by.
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| Posted 9/11/09 9:51 PM |
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