I'm in need of some BTDT advice from my 3 year old moms...please!

So DS is 31 months and is soooo difficult lately. Everything is no and then 2 minutes later he is screaming because he wants what he said no to. You give him choices between 2 things and he goes back and forth between the , decides on one, you give it/make it (breakfest, lunch, dinner) and then screams nooo because he wants the other and I refuse to give in so that is another tantrum. Car rides more than 15 minutes are a NIGHTMARE. When we go to NY he will scream the entire way.
The throwing is getting outhand to. I have now come to throwing out what he throws and he still does it. Hitting has been for no reason to his sister. I really don't know what to do. He is in preschool 2 days a week for 2.5 hours each day and his teacher says he is angel in class. Always listens never gives her problem, never throws anything.

I really don't know what to do. We do not spank and he gets timeouts but they aren't working. He is good when he is alone with me or with DH. If me, DH and him are together he will act out and he definitely does it when DD is around. If DD, him and DH are together he is fine too.

Re: I'm in need of some BTDT advice from my 3 year old moms...please!

Sounds like Damien when he was three

Damien never went through the terrible twos he saved it for the terrible threes

The car situation we just bought a portable DVD player for the car. It really saved our life. It kept him nice and quiet and we all enjoyed the ride.

For the food I would stop giving him choices. I would say this is what Mommy made and if you don't want it then you don't eat. He won't starve and will eat when he is hungry. I made the mistake of giving in to Damien and now have to make him separate meals then everyone else. (He only eats like 4 things so we have food issues too).

I would continue with timeouts, they will start to work. Consistency is the key. Once he realizes you mean business and that there are consequences to his actions you should start to see a change.

HTH and Good Luck

Re: I'm in need of some BTDT advice from my 3 year old moms...please!

The Terrible Threes. All you can do it be consistent in your discipline and ride it out.

Re: I'm in need of some BTDT advice from my 3 year old moms...please!

Posted by Stacey1403

Sounds like Damien when he was three

Damien never went through the terrible twos he saved it for the terrible threes

The car situation we just bought a portable DVD player for the car. It really saved our life. It kept him nice and quiet and we all enjoyed the ride.

For the food I would stop giving him choices. I would say this is what Mommy made and if you don't want it then you don't eat. He won't starve and will eat when he is hungry. I made the mistake of giving in to Damien and now have to make him separate meals then everyone else. (He only eats like 4 things so we have food issues too).

I would continue with timeouts, they will start to work. Consistency is the key. Once he realizes you mean business and that there are consequences to his actions you should start to see a change.

HTH and Good Luck

Re: I'm in need of some BTDT advice from my 3 year old moms...please!

4 is better, I promise

Re: I'm in need of some BTDT advice from my 3 year old moms...please!

I'm hoping 4 is better because whoever said it's the "terrible twos" is wrong...3 is the new terrible 2's.

Jared did that too. You have to be consistant with your discipline. I also started taking toys away at that age for bad behavior.

Re: I'm in need of some BTDT advice from my 3 year old moms...please!

Yes, I'm in the midst of this kind of thing too! Good days bad days...

Whoever said you need to give your child two choices, didn't give birth to our children obviously! Same thing here...
"Do you want the pancakes or the waffles?"
"Waffles."
"OK, let me make the waffles..."
"NOOOOOO!!!! PANCAKES!!!"
"Oh, I must have misunderstood; let me make the pancakes..."
"NOOOOOO!!!! WAFFLES!!!!!"
Repeat several more times...


At this point, I just give her whatever and walk away from the situation. I do NOT discuss; I do NOT rationalize; I DO walk away; I DO curse under my breath.

She's also a big crier/whiner...all.day.long. For no reason. Sigh... When she starts up with this stuff I tell her, "It's OK to cry--just go away from me if you want to do that because I don't like to hear it." Usually, she will do that--it doesn't always help, but it makes me feel better.

But, lastly, if she hits or abuses her sister in any way (and she usually doesn't hit--it's more shoving, if anything) I have no tolerance. I remove her from where she is to a couch by herself.

These things don't appear to make a difference day to day, but I'm hoping over the long haul, she's learning how to act...

Re: I'm in need of some BTDT advice from my 3 year old moms...please!

That was my daughter too. We thought she was bipolar. She would tell us one thing and then freak when we did what she wanted. It's 3. It's awful. Honestly don't yell and ignore as much as you can. I would tell him Mommy will talk to you when you calm down. I agree with the food thing, she actually still does that to my DH for breakfast. 3 stinks until about 3 1/2 and I have to tell you DD will be 4 in April and I LOVE where she is right now but had you asked me right at 3 OMG I would tell you run for the hills. Hang in there!!!

Re: I'm in need of some BTDT advice from my 3 year old moms...please!

Terrible twos and trying threes! Its worse that two...by far! Consistency is key! But him in time out and keep him there until he does the time. If he gets up or talks before his time is up, the time starts all over again. They learn quick. Stop giving choices. I too made this mistake and nip it in the bud. They eat what I make. If they don't like it they can wait unti the next meal. Many a nights, my 4 year old tells me "No thanks, I'll wait for breakfast!" And he does.

A great thing to start now is a reward chart. Make it simple and attainable. Buy something that you know he wants. Put it on top of the fridge where he can see it, but not reach it. When he earns 10 or whatever number you decide stickers he gets his reward. The key is to catch him being good and reward him unexpectedly rather than rewarding him for things he is supposed to do (like brushing teeth). So if you see him being sweet to DD, tell him what a great job he is doing and give him a sticker. This works like a charm as long as you are consistent.

Good luck!