If your first child was a "tough" baby...

How did you go about deciding on #2?

This has been so hard for me. I don't have an easy child by any means. I mean he makes us laugh all the time and has quite a personality...but man is he TOUGH. Non stop activity, never wants to sit, not a cuddler etc...

I always always envisioned my kids being very close in age, at most 2 years apart. But it has been so so difficult for me to think about #2...

I guess living in a third floor walkup right now doesn't help either. I picture myself with a newborn, exhausted from Johnny, and having constant breakdowns.

Then i think...why wait??? Why prolong everything? Maybe Johnny would do great with having a brother or sister...

I guess i'd love to hear others input/stories/advice. I know I ultimately have to decide for myself but some advice would be so great.

Re: If your first child was a "tough" baby...

My first was very hard...not a good sleeper, not a good eater, cried about everything. In fact he is now 3 and still whines and cries about everything. It can be very draining and very testing. But he is a great kid, super smart and does great in preschool. Honestly, while Jack was a baby my thoughts were I'm so glad I have the hard one first since I don't know any different so #2 would have to be easier in compariion to number one.

And I was so right! They are exactly two years apart and Molly is so so so easy. Never had an issue going to bed, never cries, brings me books to sit on my lap and read. She is now 15 months. All I have to say is "its time for bed" and she gets up and waves bye bye and blows kisses to everyone and goes upstairs and right into bed. Its unreal! And everything I say to Jack "its time for bed" is followed by "I don't want to...maybe 5 more minutes...I want to stay up all night, etc etc!"

So, long story short, your chances of #2 being easy are pretty high since you already have the challenging one! Some people think they would prefer to have the easy one first, but I disagree. Then when #2 comes along it seems that much harder since all you do is compare how easy #1 was.

Re: If your first child was a "tough" baby...

I have the opposite fear...my dd is SUCH a good baby (sleeps great, does not cry alot, no fussing, etc)

I fear there is NO way, I am going to get this lucky twice

I guess I will say what I have heard many people say "you are never fully ready for a first (or second, or third, etc) baby

Good luck in deciding

Re: If your first child was a "tough" baby...

My first was and is very tough, so I am just praying that #2 will be easier.

Re: If your first child was a "tough" baby...

Thanks for the responses!

I totally agree with the fact that its good to have a tough baby first...it prob makes the second or additional easier to take...lol...so many people have said to me "just watch, the second will be a piece of cake".

I feel guilty all the time for even describing him as difficult because it has no bearing on my love for him...of course it wouldn't....but it's just been a tough year for me.

I think being a parent...easy child or tough child is hard enough. I just have no clue what to expect second time around.

Do i wait another year before #2 or does it not matter? Wish i knew, lol. Ahhhhh we'll see!!

Re: If your first child was a "tough" baby...

DD was VERY "tough" in the beginning. It started from the moment I went into labor She cried for most of the 1st 3 months. She had a milk protein allergy so I was off dairy for a LONG time (still bothers her a bit today at 7 months). She wasn't able to fart, weird, but true, so that made up for A LOT of crying because she couldn't get it out. DH and I would have to work it out for her and she HATED it. She screamed and screamed and screamed in pain. It was aweful She HATED her car seat til about 5 months. I didn't ever want to leave the house because the SECOND you put her in, she screamed, hyperventilating screams. Same with the stroller, so walks were few and far between. She was always a good sleeper for the most part, thank god. And mommy's "fog" finally started to lift at about 6 months.

I NEVER once thought for a second, "I will not do this again". Even writing all that just now, I think, wow, was it really THAT bad? I made it through a lot in the beginning, not half as much as some mothers, but for this first timer, I though I almost lost it

But I didn't.

And each day I look into those HUGE blue eyes of hers and can't imagine going through anything less for that prescious little girl. I would do it ALL over again and then some for her.

So, nothing would EVER pursuade me into NOT having another baby. Each challenge that is brought to my table is making me a better, stronger person and mother.

I am SO ready for #2!!!!

Re: If your first child was a "tough" baby...

I would definitely describe my daughter as a high maintance child. I thought I was in trouble when we saw the position she put herself into in utero at 20 weeks and never came out of- resulting in me having a scheduled c-setion. Then I truly knew I was in trouble when I was at my hospital roommates house one night for dinner and my dd was in her carrier on the floor next to me and she was crying YET AGAIN because I was eating and I was rocking her with my foot. I looked down at her and said ah you're such a faker and she smiled. My roommates husband was like that's a coincidence. I was like nah I don't think so, she is a faker. Sure enough I said it again and she laughed. She never really napped for more than 20 minutes as an infant. We just never had a break. Now as a toddler the tantrums are INCREDIBLE. At Christmas if anyone handed her present she ran to the garbage to throw it out.

Originally because of my age I wanted to try for another child when our daughter turned 1 but she was so difficult neither were ready. We really thought about never having another because we were finally getting into a place where we were content. But I truly didn't want her to be an only child and neither did my DH so here we are expecting #2 in May and I am not going to lie, I am scared as hell that this one will be difficult also but we survived her we can survive another--- I HOPE.

Re: If your first child was a "tough" baby...

Posted by chelle

DD was VERY "tough" in the beginning. It started from the moment I went into labor She cried for most of the 1st 3 months. She had a milk protein allergy so I was off dairy for a LONG time (still bothers her a bit today at 7 months). She wasn't able to fart, weird, but true, so that made up for A LOT of crying because she couldn't get it out. DH and I would have to work it out for her and she HATED it. She screamed and screamed and screamed in pain. It was aweful She HATED her car seat til about 5 months. I didn't ever want to leave the house because the SECOND you put her in, she screamed, hyperventilating screams. Same with the stroller, so walks were few and far between. She was always a good sleeper for the most part, thank god. And mommy's "fog" finally started to lift at about 6 months.

I NEVER once thought for a second, "I will not do this again". Even writing all that just now, I think, wow, was it really THAT bad? I made it through a lot in the beginning, not half as much as some mothers, but for this first timer, I though I almost lost it

But I didn't.

And each day I look into those HUGE blue eyes of hers and can't imagine going through anything less for that prescious little girl. I would do it ALL over again and then some for her.

So, nothing would EVER pursuade me into NOT having another baby. Each challenge that is brought to my table is making me a better, stronger person and mother.

I am SO ready for #2!!!!

Re: If your first child was a "tough" baby...

My first was a tough baby. When I had my second child, she turned into a totally different child.

She was calmer, more patient, and loved being a big sister. Her face would light up if I asked her to help with her little sister. And my second DD was the easiest baby, you barely even knew she was there half the time.

Re: If your first child was a "tough" baby...

Posted by maybebaby

Just wanted to clarify...I am DEFINITELY having more children. 100%. I can't wait to add to our family..its just hard to know when its right. If I were to give birth this second, I don't know how I'd deal. Johnny has just been very hard lately

Just wanted to clarify!!