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Michelle1110
My family is complete
Member since 1/12 2338 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by stinger
Posted by 2BadSoSad
A lot. Almost all of my friends are guys, my BFF is a guy. I got out with them frequently (sometimes Im the only girl in a group of 5 or so guys). I also go out to lunch with male coworkers alone all the time. There is NOTHING going on with any of us. There never will be. THey are like brothers to me, childhood friends.
ds.
How do you know none of those guys doesn't have a thing for you given the opportunity? If they are not gay and you get along great etc all you need is a little attraction and.....
Given the opportunity? I don't know- maybe I'm alone on this - but I don't think going out with guys who are friends is giving them an opportunity to make a move. I don't think every guy is looking for the next thing.
I go out to lunch almost everyday with my guy friend and I've hung out with just the guys before. They are like my brothers. For arguments sake - if one of them WAS interested in me- guess what? I'm not interested back.
I firmly believe hanging out with the opposite sexes doesn't qualify as being given an opportunity. Friendship exists.
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Posted 9/18/15 7:56 AM  |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by Michelle1110
Posted by stinger
Posted by 2BadSoSad
A lot. Almost all of my friends are guys, my BFF is a guy. I got out with them frequently (sometimes Im the only girl in a group of 5 or so guys). I also go out to lunch with male coworkers alone all the time. There is NOTHING going on with any of us. There never will be. THey are like brothers to me, childhood friends.
ds.
How do you know none of those guys doesn't have a thing for you given the opportunity? If they are not gay and you get along great etc all you need is a little attraction and.....
Given the opportunity? I don't know- maybe I'm alone on this - but I don't think going out with guys who are friends is giving them an opportunity to make a move. I don't think every guy is looking for the next thing.
I go out to lunch almost everyday with my guy friend and I've hung out with just the guys before. They are like my brothers. For arguments sake - if one of them WAS interested in me- guess what? I'm not interested back.
I firmly believe hanging out with the opposite sexes doesn't qualify as being given an opportunity. Friendship exists.
you are no along in this. if you are going to cheat you are going to cheat. hanging out with the opposite sex should mean oh yay they are probably going to cheat. I don't get how people find this thinking logical.
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| Posted 9/18/15 9:33 AM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Never. Lunches, yes I've done that and DH has as well with co-workers. Dinners? Nope. It just wouldn't happen.
I trust DH completely, he trusts me, and I trust myself for that matter. But when you put two people of the opposite sex together, especially in "date" settings often enough all it takes is a little spark and now you're heading down the wrong path, even if that was never anyone's intention. I am not willing to risk doing that to my marriage, neither is DH. It's not worth it. If someone thinks we have trust issues, so be it. Thankfully we have always been on the same page about this.
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| Posted 9/18/15 9:46 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by stinger
Posted by 2BadSoSad
A lot. Almost all of my friends are guys, my BFF is a guy. I got out with them frequently (sometimes Im the only girl in a group of 5 or so guys). I also go out to lunch with male coworkers alone all the time. There is NOTHING going on with any of us. There never will be. THey are like brothers to me, childhood friends.
ds.
How do you know none of those guys doesn't have a thing for you given the opportunity? If they are not gay and you get along great etc all you need is a little attraction and.....
So what if one of my male friends had a "thing" for me? That's his problem, not mine. I don't' have a thing back. Period. So that ends there.
I am sure there are PLENTY of men out there who might have a thing for me, for you, for anyone on this board. People you work with, your neighbors, the guy at the supermarket. Unless you wear a burqa and hide in a cave, it happens. You can't control a man being attracted to you.
It's how you react to it that matters.
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| Posted 9/18/15 9:54 AM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by stinger
Posted by 2BadSoSad
A lot. Almost all of my friends are guys, my BFF is a guy. I got out with them frequently (sometimes Im the only girl in a group of 5 or so guys). I also go out to lunch with male coworkers alone all the time. There is NOTHING going on with any of us. There never will be. THey are like brothers to me, childhood friends.
ds.
How do you know none of those guys doesn't have a thing for you given the opportunity? If they are not gay and you get along great etc all you need is a little attraction and.....
So what if one of my male friends had a "thing" for me? That's his problem, not mine. I don't' have a thing back. Period. So that ends there.
I am sure there are PLENTY of men out there who might have a thing for me, for you, for anyone on this board. People you work with, your neighbors, the guy at the supermarket. Unless you wear a burqa and hide in a cave, it happens. You can't control a man being attracted to you.
It's how you react to it that matters.
This is just insane to me, bc we are friends. They respect me, they respect my marriage, that is the bottom line for me....they RESPECT me and my life, as do I and for those that are married, their wives. Its just a moot point, it would never happen, nor do any of us want to take it there. We are childhood friends and I trust these guys with my life, they are my best friends.
Message edited 9/18/2015 10:06:33 AM.
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| Posted 9/18/15 10:05 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by stinger
Posted by 2BadSoSad
A lot. Almost all of my friends are guys, my BFF is a guy. I got out with them frequently (sometimes Im the only girl in a group of 5 or so guys). I also go out to lunch with male coworkers alone all the time. There is NOTHING going on with any of us. There never will be. THey are like brothers to me, childhood friends.
ds.
How do you know none of those guys doesn't have a thing for you given the opportunity? If they are not gay and you get along great etc all you need is a little attraction and.....
So what if one of my male friends had a "thing" for me? That's his problem, not mine. I don't' have a thing back. Period. So that ends there.
I am sure there are PLENTY of men out there who might have a thing for me, for you, for anyone on this board. People you work with, your neighbors, the guy at the supermarket. Unless you wear a burqa and hide in a cave, it happens. You can't control a man being attracted to you.
It's how you react to it that matters.
 thank you! just because one party may have an attraction to the other person means NOTHING. its how YOU react if you cant control yourself the problem is YOU . YOU would be the reason why YOU cheated not anyone else
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| Posted 9/18/15 10:19 AM |
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Michelle1110
My family is complete
Member since 1/12 2338 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
yes!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 9/18/15 11:26 AM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by Michelle1110
yes!!!!!!!!!!
Also unless you're gods gift, why even assume that a man might have a thing for you if he's never given you a reason to think this?
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| Posted 9/18/15 12:07 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by bunnyluck
Posted by Michelle1110
yes!!!!!!!!!!
Also unless you're gods gift, why even assume that a man might have a thing for you if he's never given you a reason to think this?
because apparently men can't control themselves, aren't to be trusted and can't be friends with a woman without wanting to have sex with her
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| Posted 9/18/15 1:17 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by Otherme
because apparently men can't control themselves, aren't to be trusted and can't be friends with a woman without wanting to have sex with her
this is so true and so sad how a lot of women were raised. I had a whole thing happen with a FAMILY member without getting into long story my aunt seriously told me that its not a mans fault if he cheats if he is given the opportunity to by going out and hanging out with other women. I seriously rolled my eyes at her. I can't believe people still feel this way and as a women they should be ashamed of them selves. they just make it harder for all other women who actually expect a man to be held accountable for their actions at the same level that woman is held at!
Message edited 9/18/2015 1:33:20 PM.
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| Posted 9/18/15 1:32 PM |
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Lola0703
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/07 677 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by stinger
Posted by 2BadSoSad
A lot. Almost all of my friends are guys, my BFF is a guy. I got out with them frequently (sometimes Im the only girl in a group of 5 or so guys). I also go out to lunch with male coworkers alone all the time. There is NOTHING going on with any of us. There never will be. THey are like brothers to me, childhood friends.
ds.
How do you know none of those guys doesn't have a thing for you given the opportunity? If they are not gay and you get along great etc all you need is a little attraction and.....
So what if one of my male friends had a "thing" for me? That's his problem, not mine. I don't' have a thing back. Period. So that ends there.
I am sure there are PLENTY of men out there who might have a thing for me, for you, for anyone on this board. People you work with, your neighbors, the guy at the supermarket. Unless you wear a burqa and hide in a cave, it happens. You can't control a man being attracted to you.
It's how you react to it that matters.
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| Posted 9/18/15 2:52 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by Otherme
Posted by bunnyluck
Posted by Michelle1110
yes!!!!!!!!!!
Also unless you're gods gift, why even assume that a man might have a thing for you if he's never given you a reason to think this?
because apparently men can't control themselves, aren't to be trusted and can't be friends with a woman without wanting to have sex with her
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| Posted 9/18/15 6:14 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by Otherme
Posted by bunnyluck
Posted by Michelle1110
yes!!!!!!!!!!
Also unless you're gods gift, why even assume that a man might have a thing for you if he's never given you a reason to think this?
because apparently men can't control themselves, aren't to be trusted and can't be friends with a woman without wanting to have sex with her
Or they can't be around hot nannies!
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| Posted 9/18/15 6:15 PM |
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twobabies
Praying
Member since 7/05 9662 total posts
Name:
Mrs. Honeybee
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by stinger
Posted by blu6385
Posted by bunnyluck
I don't see the big deal. If youre being appropriate who cares? I just had dinner with my boss. My DH and I both grab lunch with friends sometimes. I had plans to meet a college friend for dinner yesterday as we were both away on business in the same city at the same hotel.
The big deal to me is their could be attraction and you don't know. I think it's best to avoid putting ourselves in situations that could turn into something.
So if a co worker has a "thing" for your bf or you, are you going to quit your job? Lol. There's alot more in life that leads to cheating then eating a dinner with someone of the opposite sex, you ever hear of the internet? Some of these answers are ridiculous.
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| Posted 9/18/15 6:46 PM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
Name:
Mama mama mama....
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Never. I don't have close guy friends anymore, and if I go out with coworkers, it's in a group. DH has grabbed lunch quickly with female coworkers and I don't have an issue with it. But getting Panera or bagels during a busy day and a candlelight dinner for two is very different IMO...
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| Posted 9/20/15 8:40 PM |
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Never. I don't have close guy friends anymore, and if I go out with coworkers, it's in a group. DH has grabbed lunch quickly with female coworkers and I don't have an issue with it. But getting Panera or bagels during a busy day and a candlelight dinner for two is very different IMO...
This exactly.
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| Posted 9/21/15 10:09 AM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
I used to think like some of the other posters. I had a guy friend when I was younger that was like a brother to me. He would hang out with whoever I happened to be dating at the time. Always seemed platonic but one time, literally right after I broke up with someone, he asked me out. Back then I moved from one boyfriend to the next pretty quickly so he felt like if he didn't do it then... he wouldn't get the chance before I started dating someone else. It was really crappy because I went through a breakup and lost what I thought was a good friend at the same time.
A different guy I thought I was friends with... almost the same thing happened. We all hung out, all the time, I would talk to him like he was one of my girl friends. I was friends with him for over 5 years. Then we ended up dating.
I don't have any guy friends now and DH has never really had any friends of the opposite sex. But I guess I would be suspicious if I saw someones husband out with another woman given what I've experienced. I wouldn't say anything of course but I would wonder.
Message edited 9/21/2015 10:57:45 AM.
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| Posted 9/21/15 10:56 AM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Never. I don't have close guy friends anymore, and if I go out with coworkers, it's in a group. DH has grabbed lunch quickly with female coworkers and I don't have an issue with it. But getting Panera or bagels during a busy day and a candlelight dinner for two is very different IMO...
ITA! Lunch I wouldn't really think twice about but a romantic dinner for 2... that would def make me suspicious.
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| Posted 9/21/15 11:01 AM |
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
I go to dinner/ hang out with my BFF (who is male) a few times a year without DH. We don't have easy babysitters so it's just like me going to hang out with a girlfriend. I KNOW there is NOTHING EVER going to happen and with this particular friend, NOTHING has ever been there for one another.
I also work in a male dominated field so if I go to lunch, it's with males, not females.
DH seems ok with both scenarios and if he had a female friend and wanted to go to dinner with that I felt comfortable with, more power to him!
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| Posted 9/21/15 11:01 AM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by SecretlyTTC14
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Never. I don't have close guy friends anymore, and if I go out with coworkers, it's in a group. DH has grabbed lunch quickly with female coworkers and I don't have an issue with it. But getting Panera or bagels during a busy day and a candlelight dinner for two is very different IMO...
ITA! Lunch I wouldn't really think twice about but a romantic dinner for 2... that would def make me suspicious.
who said they are romantic candlelit dinners?
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| Posted 9/21/15 11:14 AM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
who said they are romantic candlelit dinners?
Agree. If I grab dinner with male friend it isn't a candlelit dinner at a romantic restuarant! Even if I go out with a female friend it is never at a 'romantic' restaurant either hahaha.
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| Posted 9/21/15 11:28 AM |
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PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Why is dinner suggested to be romantic, but lunch isn't?
Does dusk mean everyone turns into horndogs?
Also what if one of your girlfriends that you go to dinner with is a lesbian? Would you still go out to dinner with her knowing that since she likes women there's a chance that she may like you? (Also see how stupid that sounds - because a person is attracted to one gender, that means they like everyone of that gender) If your answer to that question is "yes, because I wouldn't be interested" - well hey, that's the same answer that applies to us women who go out to dinner with male friends.
#micdrop
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| Posted 9/21/15 11:34 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
This situation sounds like it seemed romantic. I grab lunch with my male co worker and that's no big deal but if we were at fancy dinner on a Saturday night alone acting flirty that would be very different IMO
So again it isn't the act of going out to eat w someone of the opposite sex but the time/place/way the two people were acting that would bother me.
At this stage in our lives w two young kids we rarely have date nights ourselves  but DH does work w women and have to travel occasionally so yeah it could happen that he would be having dinner w a woman which in and of itself obviously would not be a big deal or any deal to me
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| Posted 9/21/15 11:36 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
Posted by PearlJamChick
Why is dinner suggested to be romantic, but lunch isn't?
Does dusk mean everyone turns into horndogs?
Also what if one of your girlfriends that you go to dinner with is a lesbian? Would you still go out to dinner with her knowing that since she likes women there's a chance that she may like you? (Also see how stupid that sounds - because a person is attracted to one gender, that means they like everyone of that gender) If your answer to that question is "yes, because I wouldn't be interested" - well hey, that's the same answer that applies to us women who go out to dinner with male friends.
#micdrop
I love this because you summed up what I wanted to say but couldn't express properly. Again, you win this thread!
Also, can lunch be romantic? What about a fancy, dark restaurant, with candles and waiters in suits, wine, etc- but at 1 pm instead of 7 pm?
Would that count as romantic? Or no because it's not the dinner hour yet?
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| Posted 9/21/15 11:47 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: How often do you or your spouse go out to dinner with opposite sex alone?
We don't -
I have many male friends, but noone I'm that close to that I'd have a reason to plan to have dinner with them, alone.
Same with his female friends.
But that's just our personal situation.
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| Posted 9/21/15 11:59 AM |
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