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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Help for terminal veteran funeral costs? UPDATE
Just gonna paste what a friend wrote on her FB:
Urgent help needed thought I would reach out to my Facebook friends. I have a situation where I'm trying to help a veteran and his young daughter. He's terminally ill, there are no other relatives, there's no life insurance, no house to sell, no assets at all and he has a terminal diagnosis of lung cancer. All that the VA covers is his gravesite and a headstone but there's no money for a casket, Transportation Or a service of any kind. was wondering if anyone had any suggestions or could point me in the right direction. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
There were suggestions of gofundme, but the young girl is against it or would want to remain anonymous. I know why, but cannot reveal it publically. And I'm pretty sure people won't be so quick to donate without knowing who they are donating to.
So is there another way? Organization anyone can recommend ? I will donate privately, but obviously my small donation won't do much.
She has already tried all branches tied to the VA themselves in Nassau where he lives and it has gotten her nowhere.
TIA
UPDATE:
My friend has decided to go ahead with the GoFundMe. It's being worked on today. She contacted many people, groups, and funeral homes yesterday and this morning. There was one funeral home in Oceanside who offered the best price for a nice send off including wake, funeral service and transport to calverton. He told her "Don't worry, he will have the send off he deserves"
That was a relief.
Hopefully the GoFundMe will raise enough to cover all expenses and more, so his daughter can get her life back on track after he passes.
Thank you to everyone who offered advice and contacts. It's appreciated.
Message edited 1/26/2017 11:27:49 AM.
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Posted 1/25/17 8:43 AM  |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
I wonder if an individual funeral home might donate their services for a situation like this?
It might be worth calling a few to find out.
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| Posted 1/25/17 9:04 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Posted by NervousNell
I wonder if an individual funeral home might donate their services for a situation like this?
It might be worth calling a few to find out.
She did. They called a few. There was one that is owned by a vet and they were able to do if for 1/3 of what other places quoted. But it was still $$. For a young girl to swing on her own. 
They are still calling around though.
It's really such a sad thing. To be 23 yrs old. Mom passed, dad terribly ill. She's running the household herself and can't figure out how to pay for this all.
Message edited 1/25/2017 9:11:39 AM.
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| Posted 1/25/17 9:11 AM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
What if they cremate? The VA will cover those costs instead of stone and burial site. Cremation isn't as costly, FM if you want specifics as I just paid for my fathers cremation in July, and he didn't have any life insurance, and my mom lives in there house etc. My dad wasn't a veteran, but my uncle was, and they covered his cremation in 2010.
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| Posted 1/25/17 9:13 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Posted by mommy2B3
What if they cremate? The VA will cover those costs instead of stone and burial site. Cremation isn't as costly, FM if you want specifics as I just paid for my fathers cremation in July, and he didn't have any life insurance, and my mom lives in there house etc. My dad wasn't a veteran, but my uncle was, and they covered his cremation in 2010.
This is something I mentioned to my friend. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to be cremated. But I'm starting to believe she's going to have to go against his wishes. Thanks. I Will mention it again and see what she says about it. If This is the route they go, i'll def. FM you.
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| Posted 1/25/17 9:19 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Does he receive Medicaid since he has no assets etc.? If so, they provide a death benefit I believe. Also check with Social Security. Sad :( Worst case, I would definitely do a go fund me. I feel like people will support a vet having a proper burial as per his wishes. I know I would.
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| Posted 1/25/17 9:27 AM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
Posted by mommy2B3
What if they cremate? The VA will cover those costs instead of stone and burial site. Cremation isn't as costly, FM if you want specifics as I just paid for my fathers cremation in July, and he didn't have any life insurance, and my mom lives in there house etc. My dad wasn't a veteran, but my uncle was, and they covered his cremation in 2010.
This is something I mentioned to my friend. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to be cremated. But I'm starting to believe she's going to have to go against his wishes. Thanks. I Will mention it again and see what she says about it. If This is the route they go, i'll def. FM you.
I'm so sorry, that makes me so sad that a veteran doesn't automatically receive the burial he wishes to have. I can't imagine being 23 and losing both my parents and having to take care of all this. Does she belong to a church? I imagine churches would help the best they could, and I know for myself, I would certainly give money to a gofundme.
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| Posted 1/25/17 9:34 AM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4430 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Is she involved in any sort of religion? They might help her defray the costs. I would urge her to really do a go fund me account. This is exactly why these funds are so good, not the other bogus reasons people do. She would almost definitely raise enough money to give her father a proper burial. So sorry for your friend.
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| Posted 1/25/17 9:44 AM |
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mrsrainbow
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 1465 total posts
Name:
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Fives Funeral Home is pretty affordable - maybe she could try calling there and seeing if there is anything that can be done.
Otherwise, I agree a GoFundMe would be a good thing in this case. I can't imagine the hardship she is going through. Many prayers to all.
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| Posted 1/25/17 10:02 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Thank you for your suggestions. I am forwarding all of this to my friend. Someone else also mentioned catholic charities and it's on her list of places to contact.
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| Posted 1/25/17 10:11 AM |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
Name:
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Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Has she also contacted the local VFWs? They may be able to provide her with some guidance, if nothing else.
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| Posted 1/25/17 10:18 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Posted by Pumpkin1
Has she also contacted the local VFWs? They may be able to provide her with some guidance, if nothing else.
That was the first thing they did. And they were able to lead them to the fact that plot & headstone were covered. And offered a few funeral parlors they know that work with vets family. That's about all the really can do.
I do believe a gofundme or something similar would be the best way to go about this. Especially because her father doesn't have much longer (hospice) but again, there are reasons it would have to be totally anonymous. And that will make it pretty difficult to raise money.
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| Posted 1/25/17 10:21 AM |
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Is she on LI?
Try this organization. They are amazing!
Boot On the Ground NY
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| Posted 1/25/17 11:08 AM |
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mrsrainbow
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 1465 total posts
Name:
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
Posted by Pumpkin1
Has she also contacted the local VFWs? They may be able to provide her with some guidance, if nothing else.
That was the first thing they did. And they were able to lead them to the fact that plot & headstone were covered. And offered a few funeral parlors they know that work with vets family. That's about all the really can do.
I do believe a gofundme or something similar would be the best way to go about this. Especially because her father doesn't have much longer (hospice) but again, there are reasons it would have to be totally anonymous. And that will make it pretty difficult to raise money.
This might be redundant information but maybe there is more to it?
Veterans Benefits
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| Posted 1/25/17 11:10 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
No suggestions other than what was already stated, but this makes me so sad that our veterans are treated this way. I hope everything is sorted out quickly for this family. 
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| Posted 1/25/17 11:11 AM |
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Here is their FB page. They are very responsive and help local vets.
Link
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| Posted 1/25/17 11:13 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
VA reimburses but not pays out first. It's like $700
I have yet to file for my reimbursement for my father's costs.
When my father was alive he was part of the American Legion and they would always pool money to donate to those vets in these cases. My Dad would make sure they had a proper send off no matter what.
My father wanted to be cremated. It was something he always spoke of. I don't think I could have managed to take his dying wish from him. I think he sacrificed so much for me, that having him in my heart and with me every day is more than enough. Not having a tombstone and grave has been so liberating in our mourning. We don't need one to remember him, think of him, talk to him, see him or visit him. Just like in life... he's part of everything.
I wish her the best of luck. I could not and did not take any assistance. I took a loan out through my FCU.
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| Posted 1/25/17 11:16 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Thank you all so very much. I have forwarded all suggestions. Please keep her and her father in your thoughts.
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| Posted 1/25/17 11:25 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Was going to suggest the same. Or there's also this group:
Team Red White & Blue
For RWB - click on "The Team" and then "Chapters" to find contact info for local chapters
Message edited 1/25/2017 11:55:08 AM.
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| Posted 1/25/17 11:53 AM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
Don't know if this is an option but we did a payment plan at the funeral home for my uncle. Took several years to pay off but we had to leave a $500 deposit and then paid a specific monthly amount.
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| Posted 1/25/17 12:45 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs?
update
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| Posted 1/26/17 11:27 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Help for terminal veteran funeral costs? UPDATE
If you link the GoFundMe page here when it is up, I would be willing to make a small donation. I think a bunch of people here would.
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| Posted 1/26/17 11:30 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs? UPDATE
Posted by jlm2008
If you link the GoFundMe page here when it is up, I would be willing to make a small donation. I think a bunch of people here would.
Thank you 
When we have it, I will X-Post from Charity board.
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| Posted 1/26/17 11:32 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Help for terminal veteran funeral costs? UPDATE
Posted by jlm2008
If you link the GoFundMe page here when it is up, I would be willing to make a small donation. I think a bunch of people here would.
Yes please post when it's available.
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| Posted 1/26/17 11:33 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Help for terminal veteran funeral costs? UPDATE
Great update, yes, please post when available!
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| Posted 1/26/17 11:55 AM |
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