He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

So, my son, Nick, who is nine, is now a Santa non-believer. I know he has been questioning for awhile, but as of yesterday, he stopped believing. We celebrate St. Nicholas Day, because my husband's family is Czech, and I accidentally left the Borders sticker on a book in his stocking. He asked us point blank at that point, and DH told him. The poor kid cried all morning, and so did I I feel like part of his innocence is gone, even though I know everyone has to stop believing at some point and he is getting old to still believe. This broke my heart.

My mom and my SIL say I am waaay overreacting about this, and maybe I am. Of course, my SIL say her & her DH will never tell their children about Santa becasue they don't believe in lying to them, as she told me last night. Whatever

So, am I overreacting? How old were you/your children when you/they stopped believing?

If you got this far, thanks for letting me vent!!!

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

no experience but

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

I think its great he made it to 9. I would get emotional as well, Christmas is now changed for you guys.

I was told by our 2nd grade teacher who was a nun and shocked that at 7, we mainly still believed.

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

Awww, that made me tear up just reading it!

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

I think that you are absolutely NOT overreacting at all. I actually feel for you and would love to just you. Please feel better that he has made it this far. Sincerely, that is awesome.

I am torn about what I will do with my DD. I just feel like Santa is a tradition and for kids it is just normal to mention Santa bringing presents or Santa watching throughout the year. I know that it is technically lying but I don't know...I just feel like we will as her parents naturally.

I found out by other students in my first grade class. I remember being traumatized for a good week and then simply moved on.

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

My dd is 10 ,and I kind of know she doesn't believe ,but she plays along with us

I totally know how you feel though ,and it is so hard to see your baby changing and I KWYM by them losing their innocence

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

I'm sorry you and your son are so upset by this.

I saw through the facade by the time I was 6... I haven't made up my mind about what I'm going to tell my daughter about Santa.

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

I'm sorry you are upset and I would feel the same way. I found out when I was 5 because my jerk of a cousin woke me up to make me watch my parents put the presents under the tree because I wouldn't believe her when she said Santa didn't exist. I would have loved to believe a bit longer.

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

Posted by XcalystaX

I'm sorry you are upset and I would feel the same way. I found out when I was 5 because my jerk of a cousin woke me up to make me watch my parents put the presents under the tree because I wouldn't believe her when she said Santa didn't exist. I would have loved to believe a bit longer.

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

I didn't find out until I was in the 6th grade, YES the 6th grade that there was no Santa and I found out from my Jewish science teacher. My mother was livid. I remember sitting on her lap crying and she cried too because she felt so bad for me.

For as long as I lived home my mom still wrapped presents and wrote "Love, Santa" on them

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

I also found out when I was 9 and I was devestated! I felt like it was a big joke played on me. My parents showed mt he movie "Yes Virginia, There is a Santa claus" and somehow it made it all better!

Christmas is a magical time and hopefully, you can get your DS to see that!

so sorry you're upset

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

Posted by jellybean1420


For as long as I lived home my mom still wrapped presents and wrote "Love, Santa" on them

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

Awww. That is totally rough. I stopped believe when I was 6, it just didn't make sense to me. I wasn't mad at all when I found out and I remember my mom crying hysterically. But, even at 30, my mom still signs my gifts from Santa
I think it's a good time to teach him that keeping it going for his siblings and friends is a gift that he has now that he can give to them and that even though there is no real Santa Claus, that Santa really is the spirit in the holiday. Turn it into a positive. Maybe bring him to the toy store to buy toys for Toys for Tots so that he can share the gift of Santa with boys and girls who might not otherwise have a Christmas?

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

I'm sorry you're upset.

I plan to go with the Sun's "Yes, Virigina there is a Santa Claus." theory.

Santa Claus exists in the hearts & minds of those who give gifts, the holiday spirit. It was done to keep his spirit alive & to give my children the magical feeling I had as a child about Christmas. In order to ease the pain, I plan on enlisting them in making it fun for their cousin and other little kids.

Part of growing up is learning the "truth" but the other part is that they now get to participate from the other end of the spectrum....making it special for other kids.

I'm not saying it's not going to break my heart a little bit, but it's another chapter with its own set of benefits. I won't hear "I know the $350 Lego Star Wars ship is expensive so I'm asking that from Santa Claus."

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

Posted by jellybean1420

For as long as I lived home my mom still wrapped presents and wrote "Love, Santa" on them

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

Oh, i'm sorry that this happened. But be glad that he believed for that long, I think its' wonderful. Believing in Santa adds another level of joy, excitement and anticipation to Christmas and he was able to have that for a long time. I believed until I was 10 (although I had my doubts but wanted to hold on) and i think it was great.

To the people who think telling kids about Santa means you are lying to them, well, I'd love to know whether you really tell them the truth about EVERYTHING, somehow I doubt that.

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

awww... I am crying reading your post for some reason. I would be upset too Honestly, he would have found out sooner or later- I think you did a great job having him believe all this time.

I still believe in Santa even though I know the truth so maybe you can tell him that although he doesn't run around bringing all the presents, he is still in our hearts and spirits.

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

Thank you to everyone for your responses.

I did explain to him about the Spirit of Christmas, and was able to give him some real examples of how this has happened in my life, and in his, even though he didn't know it. Last year, Nick desperately wanted a Wii for Christmas. There was no way we could afford it... it was out of the question. He asked Santa for it, but it wasn't going to happen. At work, at breakfast one day, in the context of a conversation about kids being disappointed at Christmas time, I happened to mention how my son wanted a Wii. This was the only time I ever told anyone about it, even family. Well, about 3 days before Christmas, a nicely dressed young man rang my doorbell at 9pm, and handed me a Wii. He told me it was for my son, wished me a Merry Christmas, got into his car, and drove away. You could have knocked me over with a feather. Still to this day, I really don't know who the guy was.

I told Nick this story, and told him that this is how there is Santa in the world, and that hopefully we can one day be Santa for someone else. We volunteer and donate food, toys, and books, but hopefully one day we can do something like that for someone else.

Thanks for all the responses, it makes me happy to know that others have gone through similar stuff....

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

Posted by My3girlsMylife

Posted by XcalystaX

I'm sorry you are upset and I would feel the same way. I found out when I was 5 because my jerk of a cousin woke me up to make me watch my parents put the presents under the tree because I wouldn't believe her when she said Santa didn't exist. I would have loved to believe a bit longer.

that was soooooo mean !! How old was your cousin ?

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

you know, I hate that people say Santa doesn't exist.

in my mind, he does.

how else can this amazing change in people be explained this time of year. the reason we save...the reason we spread cheer.

how often do you exchange words with strangers..but at this time of year.

the spirit of Santa (St. Nicholas) lives in each of us all year round, but is made manifest as we celebrate the birth of Jesus.

so yeah, while a big fat guy in a red suit isn't sliding down your chimney, he's certainly NOT fake. he did exist and still does.

when Luce comes to the age where he stops believing in the big fat man, this is how I will explain Santa's real existence to him.

I hope he never stops believing. I never have.

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

I'm pretty sure Robbie hasn't believed for a while. But he finally asked straight up this year. Aversion tactics no longer worked.. so we told him that we were the ones that put the presents under the tree. He is 8.

We tried to make him understand that there is a spirit of Christmas and Santa Claus is the embodiment of that spirit. And that we all get imbued with that spirit of love, family and giving. So Santa isn't 'fake' - it's just more complex than a chubby old man who lives at the north pole. We let him know that by bringing him in on this - we believed he was old enough to understand the 'real' Santa in a way that he couldn't have grasped when he was a little guy, We told him that we are all helping Santa fufill his promise on Christmas Day. He seemed fine with it.. but like I said.. I think he has suspected for quite some time.

Noah still believes. He saw 'Santa' this weekend and was awestruck. Robbie knows not to share this secret with anyone and we don't worry about Noah finding out prematurely.

I found out in kindergarten .. but I let my parents think I believed long after. I thought I would get more presents if they thought I believed!

Message edited 12/7/2009 12:05:33 PM.

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

I don't think you are overreacting at all.

My mom died when I was 29. Even up until that time, she never admitted that there was no Santa. I plan to do the same with my son.

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

Santa is magical. You see the innocence in children's eyes. They believe in the magic and we live those joyous moments throught their eyes. Remembering ourself "how could have Santa done it?".

Now, you see your baby growing up. It's another chapter. I don't think you were prepared for it.

Just like we cry when they reached milestones when they were younger.

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

I know that I have only a few years left of my children truly and 100% knowing that Santa comes into our home to leave gifts. But everyone is right..Santa does exist. He is everywhere and loves everyone. He is part of who we are, the magic of this special season. But I know that there is such an innocence in my children that I don't want see end....

Re: He broke my heart.... Don't open if there are children who can read in the vicinity

I have a nine year old too and I was afraid this would be 'the year.' He's been asking since last year whether or not Santa is real and I always tell him that he's real to those who believe in him... When I ask if he believes in him, he still says yes... So I'm waiting for the day that he REALLY wants to know.

I dread it...