Having a really hard time...FINAL UPDATE at end of PG. 2

I'm not sure where this post even belongs but I am posting here because I feel most comfortable.

I am having a really hard time with everything that happened last week. I know this sounds dramatic, but I honestly feel traumatized by the cancelled D&C.

I can handle the fact that this pregnancy likely was not meant to be, but I cannot handle being in limbo possibly for a few weeks.

I am upset because the doctor did not see anything last Tuesday (when he diagnosed the m/c) when there definitely was something there. I am upset that I was brought in and knocked out before an u/s was done. I am upset that the doctor is convinced that there is a genetic abnormality. I am upset that my doctor keeps telling me that the "worst case" scenario is that the PG progresses to 10-12 weeks and then I need to start genetic testing because he is 98% sure that there is something "very wrong".

I am going to the doctor tomorrow and I have decided that if there still is a heartbeat, I am going to see a high-risk ob-gyn for another opinion as to the viability.

Sorry for the vent, I just needed to get this all out because I honestly do not know what to do with myself. I am torturing myself by thinking about the "worst case" scenario and I cannot handle it.

Message edited 3/12/2009 1:43:49 PM.

Re: Having a really hard time...

Kris i am so sorry u are going thru this emotional rollercoaster.
I think its a great idea to get a second opinion. Your dr is giving u worst case scenarios - its expected bc they always do that.
I hope there is tremendous progress tomorrow.
I am praying for u.

Re: Having a really hard time...

Kristin you are ALWAYS welcomed to stay on this board. I know exactly what you mean about feeling most comfortable here

And believe me I can understand 100% about what you mean about being traumatized by the cancelled DNC.....I think anyone would have been. I mean you went in mentally preparing yourself for the fact that the preg was not viable only to find out that there was a heartbeat indeed.....I really think that ANYONE would have been sent into a whirlwind of emotions over that. And now to be in limbo over how this will all will play out - its no wonder you're overwhelmed. But I think that your plan is real smart.....to see a high risk doctor for another opinion.

I know you're overwhelmed and I know this is all so difficult but we're all here for you to give you all the support you need I will keep praying for you

Re: Having a really hard time...

I am so sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine all of the emotions that u must be feeling right now. I think that "not knowing" would kill me------it's so hard to just be in limbo.

I think it's a great idea to get a 2nd opinion if u don't get any answers tomorrow. Personally, I think I would get a 2nd opinion regardless. I know they are just trying to tell u the worst case scenarios, but why didn't they see anything when u went last Tuesday?

Re: Having a really hard time...

Why is your doctor so convinced something is "very wrong?" Could it be possible that the embryo implanted later than they thought or is a slower developer? I think lots of women have had that happen. Thank God they did a sonogram!

Re: Having a really hard time...

How far along are you? Can you do CVS??

Re: Having a really hard time...

I think the smartest thing you can do is go to a high-risk OB....they will tell you straight up what is going on or at least what they think is going on.
As another poster said, it may have been a late implanter...who really knows. I've been on these boards long enough that I've seen some really crazy things happen - and come out well.

Re: Having a really hard time...

Re: Having a really hard time...

I feel for you Kris. Like I have said before, I know all about waiting. The limbo is the killer. I want to scream, "Is the baby fine or not?" Just let me know....I'm having a bad day today as well. I keep praying for strength for you

I think getting a second opion is an excellent idea and may give you some peace of mind as well.

Re: Having a really hard time...

I am so sorry! I can't even imagine the rollercoaster of emotions that you have been through with all of this, and I pray you get the miracle that we are all hoping you will.

ITA about seeing a high-risk ob/gyn or just getting a second opinion in general!

Re: Having a really hard time...

Re: Having a really hard time...

I don't blame you for feeling this way.

I'm pretty angry at your doc.

I would definitely schedule an appt with a high risk OB..better sooner than later.

Re: Having a really hard time...

I am so sorry.. If this were me I would do exactly what what you plan. Go to the high risk Dr.. There machines are up to date and are able to see much more than the primative machines some of these ob's have.. You will be less in the dark I am sure of it.. I am praying for you..

Re: Having a really hard time...

Again, I am so sorry for all you are going through. Don't question your feelings, as I would feel the same way as you. Like others said, I would definetely get another opinion ASAP.

Re: Having a really hard time...

I am so sorry you're going through this, I ccan only imagine how your emotions are making you feel right now.

Re: Having a really hard time...

I am so sorry you have to go through all this. I think you have a good plan of action and would go to a high risk OBGYN for a 2nd opinion.

Re: Having a really hard time...

I would RUN to another doctor. Not only is this doctor totally insensitive but I want another opinion anyway. You should not have to live like this. He should be helping you, not making it all worse

Re: Having a really hard time...

What you are going through is so difficult and I too think you need to see a good Perinatologist. Getting a second or third opinion sooner than later is a good idea. You don't have anything to lose, but something to gain, by going.

Re: Having a really hard time...

Kris,
I really just feel so bad for you right now. This waiting/not knowing has got to be so hard! I think a high risk OB consult is a great idea...and hopefully they can give you some sort of a straight answer, one way or the other. GL and lots of for you and DH.

Shawnna

Re: Having a really hard time...

I am so sorry that your dr is treating you this way and I think a second opionion is a really good idea. I looked up CVS on WebMD and it said that a CVS can be performed as early as 10 weeks. See Link here.

Re: Having a really hard time...

If it were me, I would get a second opinion, no matter what. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through, I do hope your Dr is wrong and you have a healthy little fetus growing inside of you.

Re: Having a really hard time...

Everyone has provided such good advice and I think you know what you have to do. So I just wanted to offer you some and some

Re: Having a really hard time...

Thanks so much for everyone's support and advice! I made an appointment with a high-risk ob-gyn for Thursday at 10:00 AM. I am seeing my RE tomorrow morning for another ultrasound. I feel better than I made the appointment, even though I am not sure how tomorrow is going to go! Wish me luck!

Re: Having a really hard time...

I am so sorry you are hanging in limbo. There is nothing worse IMO. I think you have a good plan of seeking a second opinion from a perinatologist if necessary. As you know, CVS can be done as early as 10-11 weeks if it gets to that point.

ETA: I have CVS experience so feel free to FM me if you like.

Message edited 3/9/2009 7:25:53 PM.

Re: Having a really hard time...

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope its all figured out soon.