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megsmom
#2 on the way!
Member since 5/05 1723 total posts
Name:
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Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Please let em know if its me..
have a friend.. who is currently dating a guy for the past 2 years or so.. bored in the relationship( i can just tell) anyway hooked up w/ an old friend who she used to date.. now they are kinda seeing each other .. hes married with 2 kids.. now APPARENTLY they r unhappy.. hate each other have no $$ to divorce but I dont buy it.. I think that he doesnt wanna leave his wife.. what do you think?? I guess my question is.. if you are that unhappy wouldnt you just leave anyway.. and worry about everything else later?
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Posted 3/13/06 9:51 PM  |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
yes i would leave...especially if i "hated" my DH
But like you said...there is a BIG possibility that this guy is stringing your friend along
if it were my friend i would tellher to drop him until he is free...
what is the point of seeing him if he can't get a divorce anyway
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| Posted 3/13/06 9:56 PM |
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megsmom
#2 on the way!
Member since 5/05 1723 total posts
Name:
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
My thoughts exactly.. and whats the point of her current realtionship if shes that unhappy?
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| Posted 3/13/06 9:57 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Posted by mattnnic327
My thoughts exactly.. and whats the point of her current realtionship if shes that unhappy?
true
in fact i am not getting that at all
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| Posted 3/13/06 9:58 PM |
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megsmom
#2 on the way!
Member since 5/05 1723 total posts
Name:
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
I told her some of the hardest things to do are the best things to do.. I just am trying to tell her to avoid the mess before it happens..
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| Posted 3/13/06 10:00 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
I don't think it's the wife he doesn't want to leave. I would bet money it's the kids.
In which case it would take a lot to leave - and he probably won't do it.
Message edited 3/13/2006 10:11:13 PM.
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| Posted 3/13/06 10:10 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
The guy is TOTALLY stringing your friend along. If someone is unhappy they leave, simple as that. They don't cheat...and go back home to their wife.
I have some experience with this so please tell your friend to dump him quick before she gets totally entangled.
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| Posted 3/14/06 7:30 AM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
I just want to add...I am sure this has nothing to do with him leaving at all...He probably tells his wife he loves her and has no intentions on going anywhere.
You friend may have what an old friend of mine called "Tarzan Syndrome" - she can't leave one relationship until she has another one in the works. She should probably end both relationships and start over.
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| Posted 3/14/06 7:33 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
If I was that unhappy I would leave AND I wouldn't start dating anyone else until I left the marriage.
I have enough self worth that I wouldn't date a married man, who is still in the marriage (not seperated, still living with the family.) For one thing, I deserve better than that and the second is that if it does work out, does she think that the family is going to welcome her, knowing she may be partially responsible for the husband leaving? If he really wanted to be with me, I would wait until he leaves the wife, JMO.
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| Posted 3/14/06 9:26 AM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Posted by dpli
If I was that unhappy I would leave AND I wouldn't start dating anyone else until I left the marriage.
I have enough self worth that I wouldn't date a married man, who is still in the marriage (not seperated, still living with the family.) For one thing, I deserve better than that and the second is that if it does work out, does she think that the family is going to welcome her, knowing she may be partially responsible for the husband leaving? If he really wanted to be with me, I would wait until he leaves the wife, JMO.
I agree!
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| Posted 3/14/06 9:27 AM |
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twobabies
Praying
Member since 7/05 9662 total posts
Name:
Mrs. Honeybee
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
imo he is just cheating on his wife with your friend. i have a feeling his wife has no idea what he is doing behind her back.
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| Posted 3/14/06 9:29 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Regardless of whether they have money or not to divorce, what this guy is doing to his children, nevermind his wife, is despicable! Cheating can't be condoned by saying "I'm unhappy". If he's such a stand up guy and money is the real reason he's not divorced, I can assume that the wife knows of his extra marital affair? Probably not because he's lying! The guy is stringing her along.
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| Posted 3/14/06 9:41 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
It doesn't cost a penny to separate. Do they sleep in the same bed? I'm SURE they do.
This guy is totally taking your friend for a ride. He may or may not leave his wife but by hanging around waiting and being his mistress, your friend is just showing him that he can take advantage of her with no consequences. So even if he does leave her one day and gets together with your friend, what kind of relationship does she think they'll have considering that not only has she shown him that he can walk all over her, but that she is also just the rebound girl.
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| Posted 3/14/06 9:44 AM |
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LAMGAJ28
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Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
This is the first lie married men tell women...they are unhappy...they can't somehow leave their wives....etc...etc.....
Please tell your friend to get out of this situation. If he's really so unhappy, and he wants a fresh start, he can always look for her once he has address all the things in his life that he needs to take care...when he's not attached to anyone else.
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| Posted 3/14/06 9:45 AM |
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mskimmy98
My twins are one!!!
Member since 5/05 2540 total posts
Name:
Kimberly
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Posted by shamrock12472
Regardless of whether they have money or not to divorce, what this guy is doing to his children, nevermind his wife, is despicable! Cheating can't be condoned by saying "I'm unhappy". If he's such a stand up guy and money is the real reason he's not divorced, I can assume that the wife knows of his extra marital affair? Probably not because he's lying! The guy is stringing her along.
Well said.. I had the same thing with one of my friends.. she so believed his lies of "oh I sleep on the coach every night, we don't love each, she knows, there is nothing there, we are just staying in the same house because o the kids, we have no money to divorce"...
HE WAS LYING THE WHOLE TIME!!! SCUM!!!!!!
I can't even be friends with her anymore I was so disgusted by the whole thing.
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| Posted 3/14/06 9:47 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Posted by shamrock12472
Regardless of whether they have money or not to divorce, what this guy is doing to his children, nevermind his wife, is despicable! Cheating can't be condoned by saying "I'm unhappy". If he's such a stand up guy and money is the real reason he's not divorced, I can assume that the wife knows of his extra marital affair? Probably not because he's lying! The guy is stringing her along.
I agree. She should dump his azz! He is NOT a stand up guy and he is having his cake and eating it too.
Plus, if she knows he is still married unhappy or not; why is she still seeing him?????????????? I am sorry, nothing against you but I have no compassion for people like this. Maybe I just have a unique perspective on this, but any woman who is dating a man that she knows is married...how can she do this????? Does she think about how hurt his wife and kids will be??????
My mom & dad went through this and the woman knew my dad was married. My mom had no idea until my brother and I found out about the affair and forced my dad to tell my mom. My dad and his "girlfriend"  are living together now and he wants her to be part of the family. My brother and I will NEVER accept her into our family. I write this so you can tell your friend that even if he leaves his wife, his kids will make it VERY difficult for them to have ANY kind of a relationship, trust me.
Message edited 3/14/2006 11:06:14 AM.
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| Posted 3/14/06 9:49 AM |
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WoodIAm
My Boys!
Member since 5/05 5498 total posts
Name:
JoAnne
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Posted by twobabies
imo he is just cheating on his wife with your friend. i have a feeling his wife has no idea what he is doing behind her back.
I agree! and I'm willing to bet that she doesn't "hate" him either.
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| Posted 3/14/06 10:48 AM |
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PiyoPika566
talk to the hand
Member since 5/05 1436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
the worst thing you can do to your children is to stay in an unhappy marriage for them.. I am talking from experience... the parents are not doing the children any favors by staying together 
I agree with others, he is completely stringing your friend along, she needs to wake up soon!
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| Posted 3/14/06 11:00 AM |
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kms717
St Philomena Protect My Son
Member since 2/06 2747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Sorry, I don't buy it either, if they really hate eachother she wouldn't care about him having a gf so it wouldn't be a big deal if she had a chat with his wife would it? No way would I get involved with a married man!!!
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| Posted 3/14/06 12:36 PM |
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heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
In all honesty, I have a bit of an issue with women who knowingly date married men. Trying to put that aside, I would say that your friend needs to get out of both of those relationships. She is in for nothing but heatache. I know a lot of people that have stayed in unhappy relationships out of fear of being alone, but it really is better then being trapped. I wish her luck.
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| Posted 3/14/06 12:43 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Posted by heidla
In all honesty, I have a bit of an issue with women who knowingly date married men.
I agree.
Message edited 3/14/2006 12:45:38 PM.
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| Posted 3/14/06 12:45 PM |
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BrunetteMom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 1480 total posts
Name:
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Posted by heidla
In all honesty, I have a bit of an issue with women who knowingly date married men. .
so do I.
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| Posted 3/14/06 12:46 PM |
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BabyBoy
is Skylar Elizabeth
Member since 5/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Tom
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Posted by BrunetteMom
Posted by heidla
In all honesty, I have a bit of an issue with women who knowingly date married men. .
so do I.
and to add, she is currenlty still in a relationship (i would think serious cause its been 2 years)
people are dependant on certain things just be there. when you divorce,etc... you kinda have to change your whole life as most likely, you have to move, figure out money, etc.. its hard to leave...so they may cheat and then say im sorry and stay with the wife. Ideally, we should be able to walk away but there is so much baggage
Message edited 3/14/2006 12:54:44 PM.
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| Posted 3/14/06 12:52 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Posted by BabyBoy
Posted by BrunetteMom
Posted by heidla
In all honesty, I have a bit of an issue with women who knowingly date married men. .
so do I.
and to add, she is currenlty still in a relationship (i would think serious cause its been 2 years)
Women like this chick give all of us a bad wrap.
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| Posted 3/14/06 12:53 PM |
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BabyBoy
is Skylar Elizabeth
Member since 5/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Tom
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Re: Having a debate with a friend.. opinions wanted
Posted by dandr10199
Posted by BabyBoy
Posted by BrunetteMom
Posted by heidla
In all honesty, I have a bit of an issue with women who knowingly date married men. .
so do I.
and to add, she is currenlty still in a relationship (i would think serious cause its been 2 years)
Women like this chick give all of us a bad wrap.
well, you just can't blame the chick in this situation... the guy should know better...
at least reslove your issues at home before you start wondering off...
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| Posted 3/14/06 12:55 PM |
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