God mother question...WWYD?

I have 2 contenders for God Mother for this DC. I am struggling with the decision.

1) My lifelong friend. She would originally have been the 'given' for the position. She once held the title of 'best friend', but for the past year or so has been distant. She is single, no kids, lives at home, parties. I am married, own a home with child number 2 on the way. Needless to say, our lives hav taken different directions. We only speak via text message and that's probably once a week or so, just random conversations about nothing. She has not seen me since about June, not since i've been pregnant. Wasn't around for DD's 2nd birthday party. I feel if I don't choose her she will be hurt, although she does have, I think, 2 other God Children.

ETA: When I was home with DD for the majority of her first year, this friend came over usually once a week to see her.

2) My current 'best friend'. I have known her about 3 years. She is the girlfriend of DH's lifelong friend. They live together, marriage is pretty much inevitable, but no ring yet. I see her at least once every 2 weeks or so. She's a teacher in the city so our schedules aren't really compatible. She looves DD and is very responsible. She has babysat on several occasions. She got a little tipsy at DD's 2nd birthday (when there were just a handful of us left after bedtime) and actually said to me, "I think I would make a great Godmother." I told her that I had another contender but I would consider it. I honestly never considered anyone but the above mentioned friend for this child. Now I would prefer to have this girl as Godmother, I know she would be ecstatic, but I don't want to hurt friend #1 and if friend #2 and her BF break up (unlikely, but ya never know) it could be awkward...


WWYD?

Message edited 12/23/2011 12:05:17 PM.

Re: God mother question...WWYD?

Which one of them have faith practices that are most similar to yours? That would be my deciding factor. Someone with a strong faith would make the best godparent for my child.
If you picked the current best friend, do you feel like you would remain friends regardless of what happened with her relationship either now or 10 years from now, if so, it will not matter whether she marries or stays married to him.

Re: God mother question...WWYD?

I'm in a similiar situation. A life long friend who made me her daughters GM 13 years ago and who I once told years ago that she would be the GM to my baby and my SIL. Like you LLF and I have drifted apart since I moved OOS 4 years ago. I resent the fact that she has not made one effort to come and visit me and she only reaches out to me just to see what "Im doing". I've realised over the course of 4 years what a selfish self centered person she is.

SIL is a wonderful person. We have had our issues bc we are so alike sometimes we but heads but she is a great Mom to her son, a wonderful Aunt to her nieces and nephews and I know that she will BE THERE for our baby no matter where we live.

Besides the fact that DH hates LLF bc of the way she's treated me of late, its kind of a no brainer for me.

I'm worried about telling LLF that I've chosen SIL bc I feel obligated bc she made me her childs GM but just the other day she was asked to be her brothers daughters GM and sent me a text to tell me along with "I can never have too many godchildren" I don't appreciate that plus 10 years ago I told her I would choose her but, things change I didn't even know DH then and obviously I didn't really know her.

I say choose your new BFF. She has already proven to you that she wants to be involved and that is an important issue when making a decision.

Message edited 12/23/2011 12:38:21 PM.

Re: God mother question...WWYD?

I will say this - I would not have someone that you know through marriage. I had my cousins wife of 15 years, and now they are getting divorced and she feels weird to be around our entire family. I would def. not pick #2.

#1 sounds good except for the fact that the relationship seems to be deteroriating a bit. Can you talk to her about this? Do you have any cousins or anyone else you can ask?