Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I am 100% going to breastfeed. I have read up on it, took a class last night and decided that I want to do it. I believe it is totally a woman's choice and has the right to decide and don't think any less of anyone that isn't going to do it. BUT---I am not crazy about the idea of actually having the baby ON the breast. I would so much rather pump so the baby can still get the benefits of the breastmilk and not have the baby actually feeding off of me. Most mothers say it is such a "beautiful bonding experience," but when I see the videos and think about it, it kind of grosses me out! I know some of you are probably going to jump down my throat about this because people have such strong opinions, but I am just wondering if anyone else felt like this before they actually started breastfeeding?? I am feeling really guilty that I feel this way...I feel like a bad mommy!

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I feel the same way!! and have been scared to post

I hope to pump more than actual breast feed and the thought of it is uncomfortable.. When people ask "your breasfeeding, right?"- I reply "I'll try my best"- there is a part of me that feels like my baby will know i'm not into it and will not be into it either.

edited for spelling

Message edited 3/7/2007 8:42:30 AM.

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

Before I got pregnant I felt the same way and planned to pump exclusively. Right now I think I will try putting the baby to the breast but I will also still depend on pumping since I am going back to work after 6 weeks. I am also trying to be realistic to the idea that it might not be comfortable for me - at which point I will pump.

Don't feel guilty. We all have our comfort levels and there is nothing wrong with that. Pumping requires time and committment so remember that when you feel guilty. You will have that special bonding time with your baby at every feeding - he will be looking up at you.

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

Don't feel guilty at all. That's totally your choice. You would be the one breastfeeding/pumping. Nobody else.

Some people want to do formula, some people want to do breastfeeding.

Honestly, I don't think the only way to bond with your baby is by breastfeeding exclusivelly. Plenty of moms have a great bond with their babies and they gave formulas.

I will have no choice but to pump when I go back to work. Does that make me a bad mom? NO...

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I am thinking about it still, i am more then likely going to just pump or formula feed, i do not want the baby on me at all..... i know it sounds bad but i don't and i did get blah blah at but alot of people but this is my choice and as long and DH and I are both happy with it then that is what we are doing!

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I feel exactly the same way and I feel guilty about it too!!! But I'm still going to give it my best shot and take it from there.....

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

First of all, do not apologize for the way you feel. I think if you can pump and feed the baby breastmilk, that is wonderful...do NOT let anyone make you feel guilty and do not be afraid to post your feeling on here, we are all here for each other

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I dont think you should ever feel guilty for how you feel. I am not crazy about the idea of having a baby on me for feeding either BUT someone said to me "Oh pumping is a pain, you have to pump then feed so it takes twice as long"

Everyone is going to give you an opinion. The only thing that counts is what makes you feel good. Dont worry about what anyone else thinks or says. You are going to get millions of opinions from everyone about every thing. Take it with a grain of salt and do what makes you feel good....
You already are a great mommy!!

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I have the same feelings sometimes- but I've heard that pumping to feed is SOOOO time consuming as opposed to just putting her on the breast. Considering what a lazy-*** I am, I figure I'll just have to get over it or I'll spend my life attached to the pump......

It's your decision, your choice. Don't feel bad about it....

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

It totally grossed me out before I had my daughter, completely weirded me out the first time she latched on and maybe a few days after, but during it really did become like the most natural thing in the world.

What's really strange is now that I no longer BF, and it's been almost a year since I weaned my daughter, the thought of BFing once again grosses me out
All I can say is, give it a chance - try for a day or two - if it really makes you that uncomfortable, there's no shame in pumping instead, but you may just find that your perspective adapts once you put it in action.

Edited to add - you should post this on Parenting. I bet quite a few mommy's who BF felt the same way - it may help to get their perspective.

Message edited 3/7/2007 9:19:56 AM.

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I formula fed both my boys and plan to FF this baby too.

No matter WHAT you do, there will be "someone" with a comment about it.

From BF or FF to cloth diapers versus disposable ones, to use CIO or not, etc etc etc.

You do what YOU need to do. If pumping and bottle feeding works for you, then GO FOR IT!

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I feel the EXACT same way. I want to breastfeed but I just don't know. I heard pumping the whole time is a lot of work b/c then you have to spend time pumping and then feeding. I think I'm going to try for 1 month (that is my goal) and if I absolutely hate it then I will stop.

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

As a breastfeeding mother I can tell you don't worry and don't feel guilty. I always knew I would breastfeed, but couldn't imagine actually doing it. You can't really understand how it feels until you do it, so don't worry. If you still feel like it's not for you after the baby is born you can try pumping -- don't stress either way.

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I BF and I don't see it as a great bonding experience. I just see it as feeding her. I would probably pump but its easier to have her just eat. I wouldn't feel a bit guilty and don't let any mom let you feel that way.

I still feel guilty when I hear women say how much they LOVED being pregnant! Not me!

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

don't feel guilty. you will be a good mommy. try it and then do what you feel comfortable with - you may change your mind and if you don't - its OK.

i am only 8 weeks so i'm not thinking that far until i get out of the 1st tri (can't wait) but i'll be pumping because i have to return to work.

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

You may feel differently when the baby is born or you may not. I think its great that your willing to pump, cause it can be very inconvenient. You will make the choice that is best for you. I doubt you can make that decision before you see your little one.

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I think a lot of women feel this way. I know that when I tell people I am going to BF they look at me with an "ew" look sometimes. (usually women who did not BF or women who do not yet have kids). I think everyone has their comfort level & you have to see how it is for you day to day.

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

First of all its your body, your boobs and your baby so you do what is right for you and your baby...end of story!

I have been BF my DD for 13months now and I can honestly say it was the most natural thing in the world....really. Before I had her I had decided to BF but was worried about how it would feel, how I would feel about BF in public if I had to, if my boobs would drop ..lots of things....actually after I took a class on it I felt worse...so scared and felt like there was no way I would be able to do this and feel comfortable....well let me tell you DD latched on within 45 mins of being born and we havent looked back since!

I never pumped but I think and correct me if I am wrong moms but pumping exclusively might damage your supply so you might want to BF initially to get things up and running...

Good luck and do what is right for you but dont make any hard and fast decisions until after your baby is born. Believe me I was going to do A-Z before my DD was born and that was thrown out the window within the first 24 hours.

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I definitely feel the same way. I just can not see myself breastfeeding outside of my house and in public.

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I am planning to just pump. While I am told it is just as much work as breastfeeding I am just not comfortable with a baby feeding from my breast, but she will still be getting the same benefits of breastfeeding. Last night we visited our pediatrician. He asked if I am going to breastfeed and he said a woman should never be made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding...THIS WAS FROM A DOCTOR. He said most formulas are just as good. I think it is a personal choice. Only you know what is best for your baby whether that be formula, pumping or breastfeeding..IMO.

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

I see nothing really wrong with your idea/thoughts or feelings even though I am adamantly opposed [FOR ME] to breastfeeding. One major hangup for me is that my breasts are simply too sexual to me and I somehow feel really wrong sticking a baby's mouth on there! I also have hangups about the baby being a boy because I don't want to stare at his weewee so I keep hoping the baby is a girl! haha. [oddly, as a teen i babysat several baby boys and never had an issue. ]

Message edited 3/7/2007 12:16:26 PM.

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

They are YOUR boobs. No one was telling you what to do with em before you had a baby.... no one should be telling you after!

Pump away!

Re: Feeling Guilty (re: Breastfeeding---please don't attack me!!)

Posted by Secretmama3

I formula fed both my boys and plan to FF this baby too.

No matter WHAT you do, there will be "someone" with a comment about it.

From BF or FF to cloth diapers versus disposable ones, to use CIO or not, etc etc etc.

You do what YOU need to do. If pumping and bottle feeding works for you, then GO FOR IT!