Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I like when people say "So you just have the one?" Just????

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I guess I think it's rude because it's not something I'd ever ask someone. Maybe too personal of a question to ask, or I wouldn't want to put the person on the spot, or make them feel bad if they've been trying & it's not happening. I don't really care if someone asks me.

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I find the question annoying but I do not think it is rude. I had people asking me when I was planning to have #2 when I was still pregnant with my DD. I have no plans of ever having another child and people seem shocked when they hear this--I find it rude when some hears this and starts telling me how terrible the life of an only child is.

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

yes, I do think it's rude.
I definitely have asked people - but only close friends etc if we are on the topic of it or whatever. but so many random people have asked me - male former coworkers, the lady at the bagel store, etc.
it's a very personal thing - should I explain to these random people about how I desperately want more children, but all the reasons why it hasn't happened yet?? it's so akward. people need to just learn how to shut their mouths and not be so nosy when things don't concern them.

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by SummerMom

As someone dealing with recurring miscarriages, it breaks my heart when people ask me about having another. I would if I could.

See this is what I mean. You have NO idea of the person's circumstance. Maybe they can't have kids. Maybe they can't have more kids.
Maybe they are having marital issues they don't want to discuss which precludes them having more.
It can be a VERY hurtful question under certain circumstances. That is why i would NEVER ask. Because you just never know.

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by SummerMom

As someone dealing with recurring miscarriages, it breaks my heart when people ask me about having another. I would if I could.

See this is what I mean. You have NO idea of the person's circumstance. Maybe they can't have kids. Maybe they can't have more kids.
Maybe they are having marital issues they don't want to discuss which precludes them having more.
It can be a VERY hurtful question under certain circumstances. That is why i would NEVER ask. Because you just never know.

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I don't think it is rude. I think it's rude if they proceed to give their input after you answer - or if they push you when you don't really answer.

"Do you plan on having more kids?"

"We aren't sure yet"

"Oh ok, ...." On to new topic.

I think it's a question that gets asked all the time.

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I think the difference for me is the wording..."ARE you going to go for more" is different than "WHEN are you going to go another" where they have already made the assumption.

I also think that being on these boards has opened my eyes to the "behind the scenes" of TTC that are not normally discussed in the public realm. I am far more considerate of my questioning, if at all, now that I REALLY know what some people go through.

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

It's classic small talk.

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I don't find it rude. I am TTC, have had a miscarriage, and just look at it as a question. I am very open about TTC though. I usually explain that I had a MC, and we have been trying etc... I understand some people arn't as open, and it coul dbe a sensitive topic for some, but I do not think it's rude. Rude to me is asking why you have gained so much weight.

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Posted by JDubs

Posted by MaZz

i dont find it rude... just kind of annoying... and then when i tell them, "uh yea no... im good for now!" they look at me like im crazy!!!!

ITA!

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Posted by PennyCat

I went through so much to get pregnant with my son..... Years of fertility treatments, a surrogate who didn't work out... Really the works. While I was pregnant, a cousin asked if we were gonna have anymore kids. I couldn't believe I was already begin asked and I didn't even have my first baby yet!!!

When I said yes, she told me that I should be prepared to have more miscarriages. I was like.... Thanks nice chattin w ya!

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I don't think it's rude to ask friends and family, but I can't imagine asking an acquaintance that question. I don't really mind people asking if I want more kids, but it bothers me when they ask if I'm going for a girl. That has nothing to do with our decision to have more kids.

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I have 2 boys, and people ask me quite often if we are going for the girl. DH & I are planning to TTC # 3 this summer/fall, but we are not doing it to go for the girl, we just want another child. Like PP have said, when it is my family or close friends, I don't mind them asking at all, I have never had someone I am not close with ask me, I am not sure how I would react. I know my BFF is starting to TTC in June/July, but before she told me that, yes I would ask her when she was having a baby. I wasn't trying to be rude, I am just so excited for her to have a baby! I would never think to ask that of someone I wasn't close to though, I am not sure I would really care enough to ask. lol

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

This has been happening to me non stop at work... DS is only 6 months old. Just happened to me in the bathroom at work ten mins ago!.......
I usually just say "we'll see, it's too early to say"

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I am not offended by it but I can see how to someone dealing with fertility issues it could be a sore spot.

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Posted by Cheeks24

Posted by PennyCat

I went through so much to get pregnant with my son..... Years of fertility treatments, a surrogate who didn't work out... Really the works. While I was pregnant, a cousin asked if we were gonna have anymore kids. I couldn't believe I was already begin asked and I didn't even have my first baby yet!!!

When I said yes, she told me that I should be prepared to have more miscarriages. I was like.... Thanks nice chattin w ya!

OMG what a ****!!

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

People ask me all the time. If they have ever been in the presence of a toddler and consider the fact that I have 2 they can answer their own damn question.

It does annoy me when ppl say we "have to" try for another to get a boy. We aren't sure we want more, a boy isn't guaranteed and you know I had a difficult pregnancy already and over 35 so Stfu!! Plus we have everything for a girl and would be happy either way.

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I would not ask this question but I have taken it as a complement when people have asked me . I recently turned 46 and it seems that the people who ask me are totally unaware of my age.

Message edited 4/23/2014 12:59:20 AM.