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Ellsey10
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/15 614 total posts
Name:
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would give a gift
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Posted 10/17/18 2:36 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by Otherme
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
Just give what you would normally give for a wedding. What they do after shouldn't have anything to do with it
Yup - give what you'd give for any other wedding. Don't assume its a fundraiser, don't assume you shouldn't celebrate this wedding the same way you would any other!
Just be happy that they're happy, don't overthink it 
Totally agree
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| Posted 10/17/18 3:01 PM |
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Loveme
LIF Adult
Member since 6/11 3170 total posts
Name:
Me
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would give whatever I would normally give to a couple
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| Posted 10/17/18 5:47 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would give a monetarybgift. And south jersey is no different than LI or NYC with giving gifts. Lol
Message edited 10/17/2018 6:53:27 PM.
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| Posted 10/17/18 6:53 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I don't understand how anyone could go to a wedding and not bring a gift.
I go to a playdate and bring something. You are invited somewhere on someone else's dime, you bring something.
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| Posted 10/17/18 8:54 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
As crazy as the circumstance is I would still give a gift but definitely not what I would give for a typical wedding. I would give something in the $100-$150 off the registry.
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| Posted 10/18/18 9:14 AM |
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pjt212301
LIF Adult
Member since 7/12 1213 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by LuckyStar
I don't understand how anyone could go to a wedding and not bring a gift.
I go to a playdate and bring something. You are invited somewhere on someone else's dime, you bring something.
This!!!
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| Posted 10/18/18 9:27 AM |
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by pjt212301
Posted by LuckyStar
I don't understand how anyone could go to a wedding and not bring a gift.
I go to a playdate and bring something. You are invited somewhere on someone else's dime, you bring something.
This!!!
Just FYI - this is from the Knot
A. Traditionally speaking, you're not obliged to give a present for second marriages, though it's obviously a wonderful gesture. Of course, it isn't at all rude to ask the couple if they've registered anywhere, especially since many second wedding couples won't be too keen on promoting their registry.
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| Posted 10/18/18 10:44 AM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would definitely bring a gift but I wouldn't give as much as I did for the first wedding. I would probably give them something off the registry or a physical gift.
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| Posted 10/18/18 10:54 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by lululu
As crazy as the circumstance is I would still give a gift but definitely not what I would give for a typical wedding. I would give something in the $100-$150 off the registry.
Same here. This whole thing is bizarre. They won't even live in the same state for another 10 years? And the parents are paying for the wedding? I'm trying hard not to judge... and failing.
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| Posted 10/18/18 11:27 AM |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
The fact that they can't live together is irrelevant to what sort of gift to give.
Yes, I would absolutely give a gift for a second wedding. The fact that it is their second doesn't mean I would give less or more.
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| Posted 10/18/18 11:30 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by pjt212301
Posted by LuckyStar
I don't understand how anyone could go to a wedding and not bring a gift.
I go to a playdate and bring something. You are invited somewhere on someone else's dime, you bring something.
This!!!
Just FYI - this is from the Knot
A. Traditionally speaking, you're not obliged to give a present for second marriages, though it's obviously a wonderful gesture. Of course, it isn't at all rude to ask the couple if they've registered anywhere, especially since many second wedding couples won't be too keen on promoting their registry.
The knot also doesn’t understand the concept of a cash gift because it’s geared to 20 year old brides in Nebraska.
You’re not obligated to give a gift at any event but that doesn’t make it any less rude not to.
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| Posted 10/18/18 11:31 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
If you're attending a wedding, you give a gift. Does not matter what their circumstances are - first, second, or tenth wedding, living together or apart, rich or poor. You are going to celebrate their union, you give a gift.
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| Posted 10/18/18 11:53 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by NYCGirl80
If you're attending a wedding, you give a gift. Does not matter what their circumstances are - first, second, or tenth wedding, living together or apart, rich or poor. You are going to celebrate their union, you give a gift.
Exactly. Just like if you are attending a birthday party, Christening, Bar Mitzah, Communion, whatever.
You HAVE to give a gift.
What you give is up to you. But you can't walk in with NOTHING
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| Posted 10/18/18 12:03 PM |
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by NYCGirl80
If you're attending a wedding, you give a gift. Does not matter what their circumstances are - first, second, or tenth wedding, living together or apart, rich or poor. You are going to celebrate their union, you give a gift.
Exactly. Just like if you are attending a birthday party, Christening, Bar Mitzah, Communion, whatever.
You HAVE to give a gift.
What you give is up to you. But you can't walk in with NOTHING
Btw, I didn't say I wasn't. But I hadn't heard that people don't for second weddings
We are not giving cash though. We had things made for them.
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| Posted 10/18/18 12:29 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
You never HAVE to give a gift.
I would always, but its not a requirement.
Also, I think its weird to give cash to folks who are older and more established. I would feel super weird taking cash gifts from people at my age.
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| Posted 10/18/18 1:35 PM |
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itsagoodlife
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/15 619 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would always give a gift regardless if it was the second or third wedding for one or both parties. Just as I give gifts for every birthday someone has 
I gave my best friends daughter a $25 Target gift card when she turned 6 and again when she turned 7. I would never say to her at 8 "Nope... thats enough. I gave you a gift last time... this time you only get $5 and the one after that, you get nothing."
THATS how silly "I don't think you need to give a gift for a second (or third) wedding sounds"
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| Posted 10/19/18 9:39 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by JME78
You never HAVE to give a gift.
I would always, but its not a requirement.
Also, I think its weird to give cash to folks who are older and more established. I would feel super weird taking cash gifts from people at my age.
All of this. Gifts are never a requirement. Would I go to a party without one, no. But they should not be expected. Also giving an older couple cash is strange. And yes, it's hella weird they are getting married but won't live together for a DECADE!!!!
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| Posted 10/19/18 10:06 AM |
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by itsagoodlife
I would always give a gift regardless if it was the second or third wedding for one or both parties. Just as I give gifts for every birthday someone has
I gave my best friends daughter a $25 Target gift card when she turned 6 and again when she turned 7. I would never say to her at 8 "Nope... thats enough. I gave you a gift last time... this time you only get $5 and the one after that, you get nothing."
THATS how silly "I don't think you need to give a gift for a second (or third) wedding sounds"
I actually totally disagree with you. A birthday is different than a wedding
The main reason why I am not having a wedding is that I don't want people to feel like they have to get us gifts. My SO has never been married before.
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| Posted 10/19/18 11:10 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by itsagoodlife
I would always give a gift regardless if it was the second or third wedding for one or both parties. Just as I give gifts for every birthday someone has
I gave my best friends daughter a $25 Target gift card when she turned 6 and again when she turned 7. I would never say to her at 8 "Nope... thats enough. I gave you a gift last time... this time you only get $5 and the one after that, you get nothing."
THATS how silly "I don't think you need to give a gift for a second (or third) wedding sounds"
I actually totally disagree with you. A birthday is different than a wedding
Same here. They're apples and oranges. Birthdays you KNOW are going to happen every year (god willing!), weddings are much more rare.. and should be! There's nothing wrong with having a second wedding, life happens, people change, etc., but generally marriage is thought to be a lifelong commitment.. or at least not annual! lol! Otherwise, why get married?
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| Posted 10/19/18 11:18 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
If you don’t want to give a gift, don’t give a gift. Nothing any of us says will change your mind. I just cannot possibly imagine going to an event for my “good friend” and not giving them a gift. I could never imagine not WANTING to give them a gift.
My bff is pregnant with her second kid. Should I not give her a gift because I gave for her first? Maybe she’s only having another baby because she really wants people to buy her onesies.
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| Posted 10/19/18 11:22 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by LuckyStar
If you don’t want to give a gift, don’t give a gift. Nothing any of us says will change your mind. I just cannot possibly imagine going to an event for my “good friend” and not giving them a gift. I could never imagine not WANTING to give them a gift.
My bff is pregnant with her second kid. Should I not give her a gift because I gave for her first? Maybe she’s only having another baby because she really wants people to buy her onesies.
If you read her post, she did get a gift. She never said she wasn't getting a gift for her friend. People were telling her that second weddings don't receive gifts, so she was just asking if that school of thought was the norm.
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| Posted 10/19/18 11:39 AM |
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by LuckyStar
If you don’t want to give a gift, don’t give a gift. Nothing any of us says will change your mind. I just cannot possibly imagine going to an event for my “good friend” and not giving them a gift. I could never imagine not WANTING to give them a gift.
My bff is pregnant with her second kid. Should I not give her a gift because I gave for her first? Maybe she’s only having another baby because she really wants people to buy her onesies.
If you read her post, she did get a gift. She never said she wasn't getting a gift for her friend. People were telling her that second weddings don't receive gifts, so she was just asking if that school of thought was the norm.
Thank you! LuckyStar, I did get her a gift. It was a question because people told me and etiquette also says it's not necessary.
Also, I never said it was a fundraiser either. OTHER posters said that. I just gave facts
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| Posted 10/19/18 12:11 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4430 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I think the "etiquette" on second marriages is so outdated. More people that not are on their second marriage for at least one of the spouses. There is nothing wrong with people wanting to celebrate their wedding with a party whether it's their first or 10th marriage. Give want you want to give as you would at any celebration.
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| Posted 10/19/18 1:25 PM |
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