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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54917 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: DELETED

OMG So....

I just had to run to Target and let me tell you... it was like a MINEFIELD of shopping carts.

Carts in parking spots, carts wedged on an angle between the curb and the parking spot, carts on the grass islands, carts laying on their sides on the ground, carts from Hobby Lobby which is like 6 stores down.
It was like a graveyard of shopping carts!
And the kicker is the Target employees with that motorized cart collecting machine were out in full force when I went in but when I came out the parking lot looked like they hadn't touched a thing.

Needless to say I parked BEHIND the building. Like I went around the building and into the back and parked back there. Alone. Where there were no carts- because nobody parks back there.
I'm not wearing sensible shoes today either but yeah, no way was I parking in that mess!

And I thought of this thread. Chat Icon

Posted 4/3/19 12:17 PM
 
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Sunny10
LIF Adult

Member since 10/10

1287 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

Posted by NervousNell

OMG So....

I just had to run to Target and let me tell you... it was like a MINEFIELD of shopping carts.

Carts in parking spots, carts wedged on an angle between the curb and the parking spot, carts on the grass islands, carts laying on their sides on the ground, carts from Hobby Lobby which is like 6 stores down.
It was like a graveyard of shopping carts!
And the kicker is the Target employees with that motorized cart collecting machine were out in full force when I went in but when I came out the parking lot looked like they hadn't touched a thing.

Needless to say I parked BEHIND the building. Like I went around the building and into the back and parked back there. Alone. Where there were no carts- because nobody parks back there.
I'm not wearing sensible shoes today either but yeah, no way was I parking in that mess!

And I thought of this thread. Chat Icon



That’s what I’m not understanding. Should the carts be put back, yes. Am I guilty of one time not putting it back when I do 95% of the time, yes. Most carts I see are laying around as You saw today. I see that most dont put the carts back where I shop. Some people on here were saying I was wrong too. How on earth is this crazy ass man harassing me on the same level of me not putting a cart back? Totally different situations. Some said he was wrong and I was and Im not owning itChat Icon Its laughable that some people perceive this as it was okay for this guy to come up to my window in a threatening manner over a cart. Almost like I provoked it. Im actually in the same parking lot now, as I coukdnt avoid it and I had DH on phone while I walked through

Posted 4/3/19 12:41 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54917 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: DELETED

He would have had to be institutionalized if he saw the lot in the Target in Commack today.
It would have put him over the edge...

Posted 4/3/19 12:58 PM
 

skew
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

6794 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

I am sorry that you felt and are feeling attacked. I don't think anyone perceived his behavior as acceptable. Unstable, extreme, lunatic, over the top, wrong, psycho, unjustified, nuts, and inappropriate were among the many adjectives expressed to describe his actions.

I commend you on returning today. You should feel empowered. Hopefully now you can put this distressing situation behind you and enjoy the visit with your mother.

Message edited 4/3/2019 1:13:29 PM.

Posted 4/3/19 1:11 PM
 

Sunny10
LIF Adult

Member since 10/10

1287 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

Posted by NervousNell

He would have had to be institutionalized if he saw the lot in the Target in Commack today.
It would have put him over the edge...




Omg... too funny. Lol

Posted 4/3/19 1:18 PM
 

Sunny10
LIF Adult

Member since 10/10

1287 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

Posted by skew

I am sorry that you felt and are feeling attacked. I don't think anyone perceived his behavior as acceptable. Unstable, extreme, lunatic, over the top, wrong, psycho, unjustified, nuts, and inappropriate were among the many adjectives expressed to describe his actions.

I commend you on returning today. You should feel empowered. Hopefully now you can put this distressing situation behind you and enjoy the visit with your mother.



Thanks so much! This really effected my stay here. I had no choice to go back and was looking around while walking. My poor mom is upset this happened to me while visiting. We spoke today how everyone is friendly here and this was one crazy guy I encountered and I have to let it go so I sm trying. Thanks again for your kind words

Posted 4/3/19 1:22 PM
 

2BadSoSad
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

6791 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

Posted by skew

I am sorry that you felt and are feeling attacked. I don't think anyone perceived his behavior as acceptable. Unstable, extreme, lunatic, over the top, wrong, psycho, unjustified, nuts, and inappropriate were among the many adjectives expressed to describe his actions.

I commend you on returning today. You should feel empowered. Hopefully now you can put this distressing situation behind you and enjoy the visit with your mother.


(preface: NONE of this is directed at you, your post just made me think about the responses in here)

I don't think anyone outright said it, but when one says..."yeah, but...." it does trivialize her feelings and her experienced fear. Just bc no one outright or directly said, "what he did was sort of justified," doesn't mean it wasn't implied. The undertones or the "yeah, buts" or the "I'm sorry that happened, but...." of the other responses sometimes speak louder than the actual words. That is why I believe she feels attacked, if not just trivialized and dismissed bc of her SLIGHT wrong-doing, if really a wrong-doing at all. You either wholly try to respond with compassion and understanding, or you only sort of do when you interject a "yeah, but" or an "I'm sorry that happened, but". People need to understand what they say can be perceived in different ways. The perception IS far more important than the intention. And if your intention is clear, then so is the receivers perception. How you make people feel should always trump you "making a point bc something annoys you" People can respond with grace, or maybe considering not responding. The old adage rings true, just bc you can, doesn't mean you should. I dont meant to sound self-righteous bc I am aware of how this may sound, that is not my intent, but its just something I have been working on A LOT and its pretty cool to see things through a lens of grace and compassion.

Message edited 4/3/2019 2:00:48 PM.

Posted 4/3/19 1:30 PM
 

Sunny10
LIF Adult

Member since 10/10

1287 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

Posted by chilltocam

Posted by Katareen

You were both wrong
You should’ve taken one minute to put the cart back properly
He shouldn’t have screamed like a lunatic



This. What you did was not "careful" when you left the cart. If you were, you would have put it in the cart corral - that is being careful. I am not saying what the man did was in anyway justified, but you cannot think of yourself as being careful with the cart if you left it anywhere other than the corral. If there isn't one, you need to return it to the store or at the very least, make sure it can't blow or roll away.



It’s responses like this Chat Icon just don’t get it at all!

Posted 4/3/19 2:07 PM
 

chilltocam
LIF Adult

Member since 11/11

9141 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

Posted by Sunny10

Posted by chilltocam

Posted by Katareen

You were both wrong
You should’ve taken one minute to put the cart back properly
He shouldn’t have screamed like a lunatic



This. What you did was not "careful" when you left the cart. If you were, you would have put it in the cart corral - that is being careful. I am not saying what the man did was in anyway justified, but you cannot think of yourself as being careful with the cart if you left it anywhere other than the corral. If there isn't one, you need to return it to the store or at the very least, make sure it can't blow or roll away.



It’s responses like this Chat Icon just don’t get it at all!



Well, since you deleted your post, it's kind of hard to go back now, but I believe you said you were ALWAYS careful about where you left the cart - which, by the very fact of this incident is not true. No one has said that what the guy did to you was anywhere close to OK, or in any way justified. But, you trying to justify your behavior (and Yes, we've all done it), instead of just saying, "hey, I know I shouldn't have left the cart" and owning what you did is what seems to have people riled up here. What that guy did you was was VERY WRONG. But it doesn't make what you did right - and the excuse "well everyone else does it" is not an excuse at all.

Posted 4/3/19 4:00 PM
 

Ghostowl02
LIF Zygote

Member since 3/19

32 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

But I thought everyone put their carts back!?! How can it be a minefield if everyone does it??

Posted 4/3/19 6:19 PM
 

Sunny10
LIF Adult

Member since 10/10

1287 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

Posted by chilltocam

Posted by Sunny10

Posted by chilltocam

Posted by Katareen

You were both wrong
You should’ve taken one minute to put the cart back properly
He shouldn’t have screamed like a lunatic



This. What you did was not "careful" when you left the cart. If you were, you would have put it in the cart corral - that is being careful. I am not saying what the man did was in anyway justified, but you cannot think of yourself as being careful with the cart if you left it anywhere other than the corral. If there isn't one, you need to return it to the store or at the very least, make sure it can't blow or roll away.



It’s responses like this Chat Icon just don’t get it at all!



Well, since you deleted your post, it's kind of hard to go back now, but I believe you said you were ALWAYS careful about where you left the cart - which, by the very fact of this incident is not true. No one has said that what the guy did to you was anywhere close to OK, or in any way justified. But, you trying to justify your behavior (and Yes, we've all done it), instead of just saying, "hey, I know I shouldn't have left the cart" and owning what you did is what seems to have people riled up here. What that guy did you was was VERY WRONG. But it doesn't make what you did right - and the excuse "well everyone else does it" is not an excuse at all.



Chilitocam - Too bad you didnt read it all then, as I said I shouldnt have left it. Yes, I said that. I also said 95% of the time I properly get rid of cart. Yes, I am one of those people. As far as you saying I am trying to justify my behavior, what behavior is that, not pushing a cart in a specific place? Terrible behavior, I know. Im not sure how I riled anyone up. You would think I ran someone over and took off. I left a cart on a grass island for heavens sake and had some manic banging at my door screaming ..wow!!!!!!! The fact the cart became the focus of my post is pretty pathetic, if you ask me. I actually was in fear of this guy taking out a gun. But nevermind that, I need to admit my part, that I was not careful with the cart when I put it back and I need to Stop justifying it because had I put a cart back in a corral this would not have happened. Just wanted some needed insight how I could have handled this very scary situation with this maniac better.

Thanks to whoever reached out to me. I really appreciate it.

Message edited 4/4/2019 7:43:00 AM.

Posted 4/3/19 6:23 PM
 

Sunny10
LIF Adult

Member since 10/10

1287 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

Posted by Ghostowl02

But I thought everyone put their carts back!?! How can it be a minefield if everyone does it??



Exactly!!!!!!!!

Message edited 4/3/2019 6:59:33 PM.

Posted 4/3/19 6:30 PM
 

FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7789 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

This thread was good for LIF morale. We have not had a controversial post in quite some time so thank you!

FWIW, I never thought of leaving a shopping cart as controversial until the last time there was LIF controversy over it. Since then, I do make an effort to return the cart but some times, I don't.

The OP was expressing her emotional trauma after being startled and harassed in a parking lot. That guy was totally inappropriate and he is lucky you didn't run him over trying to get away from him. I have been accosted in parking lots before and it is very scary. I'm glad you went back and hope you can let it go.

Posted 4/3/19 8:39 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54917 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: DELETED

Posted by Ghostowl02

But I thought everyone put their carts back!?! How can it be a minefield if everyone does it??



I don't think anyone in this thread said EVERYONE puts their carts back. In fact that's why it is a pet peeve of many people...because nobody does it and its annoying because it leads to mine fields like today

Message edited 4/3/2019 8:48:44 PM.

Posted 4/3/19 8:47 PM
 

Chai77
Brighter days ahead

Member since 4/07

7364 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by Ghostowl02

But I thought everyone put their carts back!?! How can it be a minefield if everyone does it??



I don't think anyone in this thread said EVERYONE puts their carts back. In fact that's why it is a pet peeve of many people...because nobody does it and its annoying because it leads to mine fields like today



No, but they are saying everyone SHOULD. I’m going to come out and say no I don’t think so. I think it’s good if you can return the cart, but fine if you can’t so long as you leave it in a reasonably secure spot. As long as you don’t leave it somewhere negligent like on the top of a hill, incline or unsecured when it’s especially windy out. I never thought there was anything wrong with doing that until LIF. Amazing. It’s predictable.

So it is ALWAYS a cart minefield in every parking lot I have ever gone to on Long Island in my entire life, so apparently I’m not the only one.

Message edited 4/4/2019 6:53:36 PM.

Posted 4/4/19 6:52 PM
 

Sash
Peace

Member since 6/08

10312 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: DELETED

I went to run errands and this is what I saw walking to my car outside of a Home Goods.

Chat Icon Chat Icon

External Image

One of the carts was touching a car. They don’t have a corral.

Posted 4/4/19 7:31 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54917 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: DELETED

Honestly this is exactly why I park behind the building or 300 miles away. I have to admit I miss having my old nasty beater. I would park that bad boy anywhere. If a cart was in a spot I'd use it to push the cart out of the way.
My new shiny gorgeous car is too precious still to take any risks.

Posted 4/4/19 9:32 PM
 

PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken

Member since 6/11

9145 total posts

Name:
Phyllis

Re: DELETED

Posted by NervousNell

Honestly this is exactly why I park behind the building or 300 miles away. I have to admit I miss having my old nasty beater. I would park that bad boy anywhere. If a cart was in a spot I'd use it to push the cart out of the way.
My new shiny gorgeous car is too precious still to take any risks.



Omg me too. I say it all the time. I miss my old truck. I would pull into a spot with a cart in it and slowly push it with my bumper and then use that cart lol
Now? With my new truck? It’s a hard decision. You park too far from a cart return and you worry the people who may park near you will leave the cart! You park too close, you worry in general.

Someone once said the safest place to park is by the return because nobody brings them back anyway lol

Posted 4/4/19 9:49 PM
 

Sash
Peace

Member since 6/08

10312 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: DELETED

Posted by NervousNell

Honestly this is exactly why I park behind the building or 300 miles away. I have to admit I miss having my old nasty beater. I would park that bad boy anywhere. If a cart was in a spot I'd use it to push the cart out of the way.
My new shiny gorgeous car is too precious still to take any risks.



I always park far, regardless of how old my car is. I get very attached to things. So I park far away now as I did when my car was brand new. Its also because I rather walk than circle a parking lot looking for a close space and I can use the exercise.


This center is smaller and the only shop in there that has carts is the Home Goods. The parking lot isnt that big. Its mostly eateries and beauty care stores. I always park behind the building and walk. The carts were only stacked along the sidewalk. I guess that is the compromise for people not bringing it back to the store. Im assuming the wind blew them everywhere.

Funny part is my son asking me why I am taking pics of the carts?? Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 4/4/2019 9:54:52 PM.

Posted 4/4/19 9:54 PM
 

Sash
Peace

Member since 6/08

10312 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: DELETED

Posted by PhyllisNJoe

Posted by NervousNell

Honestly this is exactly why I park behind the building or 300 miles away. I have to admit I miss having my old nasty beater. I would park that bad boy anywhere. If a cart was in a spot I'd use it to push the cart out of the way.
My new shiny gorgeous car is too precious still to take any risks.



Omg me too. I say it all the time. I miss my old truck. I would pull into a spot with a cart in it and slowly push it with my bumper and then use that cart lol
Now? With my new truck? It’s a hard decision. You park too far from a cart return and you worry the people who may park near you will leave the cart! You park too close, you worry in general.

Someone once said the safest place to park is by the return because nobody brings them back anyway lol



My husband has an old pick up truck and does this. Doesn't care if he runs over cones or lightly hits anything. It drives me crazy, im like don't do that intentionally. His answer "Big Bertha Can Take It".Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/4/19 9:58 PM
 

Mrs213
????????

Member since 2/09

18986 total posts

Name:

DELETED

There’s a grocery store by my house that has no corral to put the carts. The carts are lined up at the front of the store. When my kids are with me I leave it in the lot. I’m not gonna traipse through packing lot with the kids in tow again to put the cart back and I certainly wouldn’t leave the kids in the car unattended while I put it back. If I’m a pig and a nuisance for that then so be it, It’s not like I murdered anyone...

Posted 4/4/19 10:06 PM
 

Sash
Peace

Member since 6/08

10312 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: DELETED

Posted by Mrs213

There’s a grocery store by my house that has no corral to put the carts. The carts are lined up at the front of the store. .....




This is actually the set up behind this pic but its a Home Goods not a supermarket. That was along the front of the store and then at the end was like 4 more carts stacked up.

ETA: I think the one rogue cart was the wind... it was crazy windy in North NJ today. And this is by the water.

Message edited 4/4/2019 10:12:37 PM.

Posted 4/4/19 10:11 PM
 

Sunny10
LIF Adult

Member since 10/10

1287 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

Posted by Sash

I went to run errands and this is what I saw walking to my car outside of a Home Goods.

Chat Icon Chat Icon

IMAGE

One of the carts was touching a car. They don’t have a corral.



Lol....shame on them Chat Icon

Posted 4/4/19 10:41 PM
 

Sash
Peace

Member since 6/08

10312 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: DELETED

Posted by Sunny10

Posted by Sash

I went to run errands and this is what I saw walking to my car outside of a Home Goods.

Chat Icon Chat Icon

IMAGE

One of the carts was touching a car. They don’t have a corral.



Lol....shame on them Chat Icon



LOL.

I know the reason for your post was because you were terrorized and scared. But I will say anytime I see rogue carts I will think of the responses on this post and chuckle. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/4/19 11:00 PM
 

Sunny10
LIF Adult

Member since 10/10

1287 total posts

Name:

Re: DELETED

Posted by Sash

Posted by Sunny10

Posted by Sash

I went to run errands and this is what I saw walking to my car outside of a Home Goods.

Chat Icon Chat Icon

IMAGE

One of the carts was touching a car. They don’t have a corral.



Lol....shame on them Chat Icon



LOL.

I know the reason for your post was because you were terrorized and scared. But I will say anytime I see rogue carts I will think of the responses on this post and chuckle. Chat Icon Chat Icon



It really was the reason. Believe me, I’ve already chuckled. Every lot I’ve been to and the picture above Chat Icon

Posted 4/4/19 11:18 PM
 
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