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Dragonfly75
I love Hypnobabies
Member since 3/06 2333 total posts
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Re: CIO the second night!
Posted by bee
We spoke to our ped. and she told us that not only do we have to stop co-sleeping, we have to let her CIO also. So, yes it is TWO transitions that she has to go through. Sleeping alone. And falling asleep on her own.
Please don't beat yourself up -- it sounds like this too much too soon for her. Honestly, peds are not experts on sleep behavior and I think yours has given you some bad advice. Here's an article with a different point of view. My advice is just relax and enjoy your time with your baby.
Article
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Posted 3/7/07 11:16 AM  |
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Dragonfly75
I love Hypnobabies
Member since 3/06 2333 total posts
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Re: CIO the second night!
I just wanted to add. I wouldn't worry about her sleeping with you until she is 6, as long as she builds healty sleep associations she will eventually sleep fine on her own. Honestly, I would worry more about letting her cry it out, having her fear sleep and then coming into you room when she is 6 because she is afraid to sleep on her own.
ETA: If your husband no longer wants her bed with you, that's fine to move her out of your bed, but there's nothing wrong with soothing her to sleep until she gets used to being on her own -- you could also bring her crib into your room until she's used to sleeping on her own. There are so many options out there other than CIO.
Message edited 3/7/2007 11:22:08 AM.
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| Posted 3/7/07 11:19 AM |
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bee
Secret Agent
Member since 8/06 1087 total posts
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Re: CIO the second night!
Posted by Dragonfly75
ETA: If your husband no longer wants her bed with you, that's fine to move her out of your bed, but there's nothing wrong with soothing her to sleep until she gets used to being on her own -- you could also bring her crib into your room until she's used to sleeping on her own. There are so many options out there other than CIO.
We wanted to move her crib into our room. But ped. said NO.
DH thinks we should ALWAYS follow doctor's orders.
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| Posted 3/7/07 11:24 AM |
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Dragonfly75
I love Hypnobabies
Member since 3/06 2333 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO the second night!
Posted by bee
[
We wanted to move her crib into our room. But ped. said NO.
DH thinks we should ALWAYS follow doctor's orders.
You gotta do what's right for you, but frankly, doctors aren't always right and I would run from this one about this topic. Go to www.askdrsears.com -- he talks a lot about co-sleeping and he's a doctor, too -- so that will make your DH happy!
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| Posted 3/7/07 11:27 AM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: CIO the second night!
I haven't reached this stage yet but it seems really tough on a baby to take away co-sleeping and expect her to soothe herself to sleep all at the same time.
I would tell your DH you want a second opionion.
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| Posted 3/7/07 11:29 AM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: CIO the second night!
Not a CIO advocate and I know you are looking for support on this issue so I wont get into it but I just wanted to say that the Ped's are definitley not right about everything....I have had several instances where they told me one thing and then the next time I would go to visit and say I didnt do whatever it was etc etc they would act like it was no big deal...they are so numb to real life as they see so many kids every day that they cannot put themselves in your situation and they just give you the text book answer.
I would try either sleeping on the floor in her room on a mattress until she gets used to her crib or else moving her crib into your room- the only thing about that is she will get used to her crib but not her room. have your tried to use white noise? Pacifier?
Its so hard..I know as my DD is 13 mths and sleeps most of the night with us. But I will tell you this my brother slept with my parents until he was 2 and he just decided around that time that he would sleep in his own bed....he is 24 now and is a very well adjusted independent guy with no side effects to having been in my parents bed until he was 2!
Good luck with whatever you decide to do...its a hard job being a mom and lets be honest the guys dont "really" get it in most case so its all on us.
Hang in there...before you know it she will be climbing out the window to get away from you 
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| Posted 3/7/07 11:38 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
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Re: CIO the second night!
Posted by Dragonfly75
I just wanted to add. I wouldn't worry about her sleeping with you until she is 6, as long as she builds healty sleep associations she will eventually sleep fine on her own. Honestly, I would worry more about letting her cry it out, having her fear sleep and then coming into you room when she is 6 because she is afraid to sleep on her own.
ETA: If your husband no longer wants her bed with you, that's fine to move her out of your bed, but there's nothing wrong with soothing her to sleep until she gets used to being on her own -- you could also bring her crib into your room until she's used to sleeping on her own. There are so many options out there other than CIO.
I agree completely. You have to do what works for you and your dc. Just because you are co-sleeping now, doesn't mean that it will happen when she's 6. CIO doesn't work for every child or parent.
Why not start slow, build up a routine to bedtime? Start helping her fall asleep in her crib if she needs you to rub her or hold her hand. Then move up to putting her down sleepy.
As of now, she doesn't know any better then what you had been doing so putting her in her crib and letting CIO seems like a lot all at once.
Forget what the Peds tell you or the books tell you...You're Mommy and will probably know what is going to work and what is not...everything else is suggestions.
Message edited 3/7/2007 11:59:15 AM.
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| Posted 3/7/07 11:40 AM |
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bee
Secret Agent
Member since 8/06 1087 total posts
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Re: CIO the second night!
Thank you girls for all your advice and suggestions. I guess DH and I will just have to duke it out. I emailed him your comments and the articles and the websites, and all he said was: "she's going back in tonight." 
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| Posted 3/7/07 11:45 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO the second night!
Posted by bee
Thank you girls for all your advice and suggestions. I guess DH and I will just have to duke it out. I emailed him your comments and the articles and the websites, and all he said was: "she's going back in tonight."
Then let him handle it and you go out to the movies!
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| Posted 3/7/07 11:57 AM |
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Dragonfly75
I love Hypnobabies
Member since 3/06 2333 total posts
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Re: CIO the second night!
I really feel for you. There's nothing wrong with working her into the crib, but IMHO, I think it's unrealistic and cruel for him to expect her to be able to ajust to it right away, just because he thinks it's time for her to be in there by herself. Think about it from her point of view -- she is not crying to manipulate you, she's crying because she is terrified. I don't want to sound harsh, but your dh doesn't seem to understand that parenting doesn't stop just because it's "time to put the kids away for the night." While I don't agree with CIO in principal, I understand it can work in certain instances, but this really doesn't seem like one of them. I would try soothing for a couple of weeks before I would consider CIO again. Good luck. 
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| Posted 3/7/07 12:15 PM |
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LuvMy2Girls
@>---------
Member since 5/05 11165 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: CIO the second night!
Posted by Dragonfly75
I really feel for you. There's nothing wrong with working her into the crib, but IMHO, I think it's unrealistic and cruel for him to expect her to be able to ajust to it right away, just because he thinks it's time for her to be in there by herself. Think about it from her point of view -- she is not crying to manipulate you, she's crying because she is terrified. I don't want to sound harsh, but your dh doesn't seem to understand that parenting doesn't stop just because it's "time to put the kids away for the night." While I don't agree with CIO in principal, I understand it can work in certain instances, but this really doesn't seem like one of them. I would try soothing for a couple of weeks before I would consider CIO again. Good luck.
I agree! we are going through the same thing that you are with screaming and DD not sleeping, this just started on and off 2 months ago, and consistently for the last week.
I totally feel that if both of you aren't 100% into CIO, it won't work. I can tolerate DD crying a little bit more than DH, but he is 100% against it and cannot listen to her cry more than a couple minutes.
DD wakes up terrified and screaming, and i just couldn't let her be scared knowing all she wants is to feel safe with mommy and daddy.
I hope you find something that works for you and your family. IT's rough, we decided we are just going to go with her flow and hope one day she grows out of it, which i know she will, i am sure i won't be re tucking in my teenager.
Dragonfly75-that article you posted above just reinforced everything we feel about CIO.
It works for some families, but I couldn't do it to DD and I don't think she would benefit from it either.
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| Posted 3/7/07 1:29 PM |
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MelissaMac
Life is Good
Member since 6/06 2135 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: CIO the second night!
what if you stayed in the room with her until she fell asleep. My best friend has a 1 1/2 year old that she co-slept with. It took 3 nights of constantly lying her down every time she would get up. After the third night she eventually slept on her own.
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| Posted 3/8/07 10:18 AM |
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