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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7612 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
13 is definitely old enough to stay in the car with an infant. I wouldn’t even think twice about it. If the infant was alone in the car, that’s be another story.
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Posted 7/27/18 1:19 PM  |
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mrsrainbow
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 1465 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by jame0801
Again, the boy to me looked around 9 or 10. I did not realize he was 13 until she said it. If he looked like a teenager I would never had said anything. Also, it was an older car so I could see the doors were unlocked. All good lesson learned . Keeping my mouth shut lol.
You didn't save a hot baby from a car. You were nosy and questioned a mother and her parenting choices. You assumed he wasn't old enough and you know what happenes when you assume...
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| Posted 7/27/18 2:11 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19453 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
At least in NJ, you need to be 13 to sit in the front seat. So I would have assumed this was a teen who looked younger since they were sitting in the front seat. I was babysitting at age 12, so I see no problem with a 13 year old in a car that is running (with air conditioning) watching younger siblings. That is completely normal to me.
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| Posted 7/27/18 2:20 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by starbrightgirl8
This is an interesting article about judging parents for perceived risks - NPR Article .
I had read this article a while ago, but I found it particularly interesting after reading your post. In your post, you state what the mother was doing inside the store and it seems to make a difference in your judgment of her decision to leave the kids safely in the car.
Basically, unless you see a child in imminent danger, you should mind your own business. The kids were in a well ventilated car, and none of them were in the driver's seat trying to go for a joy ride. The mother knows her kids, and it's her job to make the risk assessment. I've numerous times wished I could leave my toddler and baby in the car for a minute instead of dragging them across a parking lot into a store, but I'm too worried some busybody would call the cops on me despite my children being in a completely low risk situation. They're in more danger while I'm driving the car, especially on Long Island, than they are sitting in a well ventilated parked car for a few minutes.
Well said.
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| Posted 7/27/18 2:20 PM |
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jamnmore
LIF Adult
Member since 6/16 989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by jame0801
Posted by ali120206
Posted by jame0801
Ok thanks! I was just never a mom to leave my kids as babies in a running car alone so it seems crazy to me. I would always rather be a little inconvenienced and bring them in than leave them unattended for what was at least 10 minutes if not more without eyes on them. Thanks for the input and for what its worth I have never said anything to another mom before in my life lol this just worried me bc the child in the fron looked very young as well.
But they weren’t unattended - they were with their 13 year old sibling. If something wasn’t right - they could’ve alerted their mother - they probably even have a phone so they wouldn’t have to leave the car.
I did not know he was 13 until the mom said it. He looked around 9 or 10. Even my 10 year old looked surprised they were alone with a newborn in the car.
But even at 9 or 10, I don't think there is an issue.
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| Posted 7/27/18 2:54 PM |
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by jamnmore
Posted by jame0801
Posted by ali120206
Posted by jame0801
Ok thanks! I was just never a mom to leave my kids as babies in a running car alone so it seems crazy to me. I would always rather be a little inconvenienced and bring them in than leave them unattended for what was at least 10 minutes if not more without eyes on them. Thanks for the input and for what its worth I have never said anything to another mom before in my life lol this just worried me bc the child in the fron looked very young as well.
But they weren’t unattended - they were with their 13 year old sibling. If something wasn’t right - they could’ve alerted their mother - they probably even have a phone so they wouldn’t have to leave the car.
I did not know he was 13 until the mom said it. He looked around 9 or 10. Even my 10 year old looked surprised they were alone with a newborn in the car.
But even at 9 or 10, I don't think there is an issue.
I agree.
I would have loved to have an older child to sit with my newborn when I was running into some place like 7-11 where carrying a baby or infant seat was not fun.
I would be offended if someone asked me about this, like big time, I don't really blame the woman for being curt.
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| Posted 7/27/18 3:37 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by starbrightgirl8
This is an interesting article about judging parents for perceived risks - NPR Article .
I had read this article a while ago, but I found it particularly interesting after reading your post. In your post, you state what the mother was doing inside the store and it seems to make a difference in your judgment of her decision to leave the kids safely in the car.
Basically, unless you see a child in imminent danger, you should mind your own business. The kids were in a well ventilated car, and none of them were in the driver's seat trying to go for a joy ride. The mother knows her kids, and it's her job to make the risk assessment. I've numerous times wished I could leave my toddler and baby in the car for a minute instead of dragging them across a parking lot into a store, but I'm too worried some busybody would call the cops on me despite my children being in a completely low risk situation. They're in more danger while I'm driving the car, especially on Long Island, than they are sitting in a well ventilated parked car for a few minutes.
I love this!
But I also want to point out that it's almost always mothers who are doing this to other mothers. Dad's are not usually out there calling each other out in public, or calling the police on each other over 5 minutes in an air conditioned car.
I don't know where women get off thinking they have the right to put another mom in a situation where she feels the need to explain a relatively benign parenting choice.
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| Posted 7/27/18 4:07 PM |
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by starbrightgirl8
This is an interesting article about judging parents for perceived risks - NPR Article .
I had read this article a while ago, but I found it particularly interesting after reading your post. In your post, you state what the mother was doing inside the store and it seems to make a difference in your judgment of her decision to leave the kids safely in the car.
Basically, unless you see a child in imminent danger, you should mind your own business. The kids were in a well ventilated car, and none of them were in the driver's seat trying to go for a joy ride. The mother knows her kids, and it's her job to make the risk assessment. I've numerous times wished I could leave my toddler and baby in the car for a minute instead of dragging them across a parking lot into a store, but I'm too worried some busybody would call the cops on me despite my children being in a completely low risk situation. They're in more danger while I'm driving the car, especially on Long Island, than they are sitting in a well ventilated parked car for a few minutes.
I love this!
But I also want to point out that it's almost always mothers who are doing this to other mothers. Dad's are not usually out there calling each other out in public, or calling the police on each other over 5 minutes in an air conditioned car.
I don't know where women get off thinking they have the right to put another mom in a situation where she feels the need to explain a relatively benign parenting choice.
I'd also be curious to see the statistics about how often cops are called on Dads vs Moms. I'm pretty sure dads in general leave kids in the car more often. My husband and a few other dads I know do it frequently without fear of judgement. But whenever i see a news report about a parent being arrested, it is always a mom.
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| Posted 7/27/18 5:56 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Goodness all the judging of the OP for judging another mom that everyone says she shouldnt have judged.
OP we all judge at some point. And if something wouldve happened like the car being stolen or worse everyone wouldve been saying what was she thinking. Glad the situatuon wasnt anything serious.
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| Posted 7/27/18 6:14 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
I would leave my 10 year old nephew in the car with my girls with the car running and not blink at it. Not for a long time just in case they get fussy but for a 7-11 run in a heartbeat.
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| Posted 7/27/18 6:19 PM |
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
......
Message edited 3/29/2020 4:48:57 PM.
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| Posted 7/27/18 7:42 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3570 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
I am paranoid about everything - if the kids start horsing around and accidentally hit the gear into drive, or if some random creep saw them there and decided to open the door and steal the car, or if there's an accident and someone hits the car, then I would never ever forgive myself. That being said I would not have said anything to the mom because there WAS a 13 year old in the car....although knowing me I may just stand next to the car keeping watch until she came out!
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| Posted 7/27/18 9:07 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
At 13 I was babysitting a 6 month old, alone, so I really see nothing wrong with this.
Most cars nowadays cannot be put into drive or reverse accidently, you need your foot on the brake. My car is OLD....12 years old...and this is the case even.
And most newer cars have push button start so you can leave it running and walk away with the keys and nobody can move the car...or steal it... because the keys aren't close enough.
So even most of these what if scenarios are impossible
Message edited 7/27/2018 9:29:24 PM.
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| Posted 7/27/18 9:26 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by ChilisWife
I am paranoid about everything - if the kids start horsing around and accidentally hit the gear into drive, or if some random creep saw them there and decided to open the door and steal the car, or if there's an accident and someone hits the car, then I would never ever forgive myself. That being said I would not have said anything to the mom because there WAS a 13 year old in the car....although knowing me I may just stand next to the car keeping watch until she came out!
This is exactly my line of thinking.
Growing up, my siblings and I would play in the car (yeah, 70s child here). We were horsing around and the car in the driveway went in reverse because the gear was put in reverse. It went into the street. Luckily, nothing bad happened.
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| Posted 7/27/18 9:26 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by ChilisWife
I am paranoid about everything - if the kids start horsing around and accidentally hit the gear into drive, or if some random creep saw them there and decided to open the door and steal the car, or if there's an accident and someone hits the car, then I would never ever forgive myself. That being said I would not have said anything to the mom because there WAS a 13 year old in the car....although knowing me I may just stand next to the car keeping watch until she came out!
This is exactly my line of thinking.
Growing up, my siblings and I would play in the car (yeah, 70s child here). We were horsing around and the car in the driveway went in reverse because the gear was put in reverse. It went into the street. Luckily, nothing bad happened.
This can't happen anymore though. I'd say for the last 15 years at least, this would be impossible with the new safety feaure
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| Posted 7/27/18 9:30 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
The car was probably running so they could have the ac on. She likely (hopefully) locked the doors. And many 13 year olds are plenty responsible enough to sit in a car with their younger siblings for a few minutes. He probably even has a phone to call his mom if there was a problem. In this case, it doesn't sound like a big deal to me. I would not have said anything to her unless the kids appeared to be in distress.
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| Posted 7/27/18 9:39 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by ChilisWife
I am paranoid about everything - if the kids start horsing around and accidentally hit the gear into drive, or if some random creep saw them there and decided to open the door and steal the car, or if there's an accident and someone hits the car, then I would never ever forgive myself. That being said I would not have said anything to the mom because there WAS a 13 year old in the car....although knowing me I may just stand next to the car keeping watch until she came out!
This is exactly my line of thinking.
Growing up, my siblings and I would play in the car (yeah, 70s child here). We were horsing around and the car in the driveway went in reverse because the gear was put in reverse. It went into the street. Luckily, nothing bad happened.
This can't happen anymore though. I'd say for the last 15 years at least, this would be impossible with the new safety feaure
I had no idea of this new safety feature. I do not own an automatic, and I haven’t really driven them much in the past 15 years. I do manual/stick only. I think this is why I’m a bit confused about this.
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| Posted 7/27/18 9:53 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by ChilisWife
I am paranoid about everything - if the kids start horsing around and accidentally hit the gear into drive, or if some random creep saw them there and decided to open the door and steal the car, or if there's an accident and someone hits the car, then I would never ever forgive myself. That being said I would not have said anything to the mom because there WAS a 13 year old in the car....although knowing me I may just stand next to the car keeping watch until she came out!
This is exactly my line of thinking.
Growing up, my siblings and I would play in the car (yeah, 70s child here). We were horsing around and the car in the driveway went in reverse because the gear was put in reverse. It went into the street. Luckily, nothing bad happened.
This can't happen anymore though. I'd say for the last 15 years at least, this would be impossible with the new safety feaure
I had no idea of this new safety feature. I do not own an automatic, and I haven’t really driven them much in the past 15 years. I do manual/stick only. I think this is why I’m a bit confused about this.
Yeah, pretty much you can't move the car out of park without your foot pressing down on the brake. It just stays locked in park
So kids horsing around in the car can never knock it out of park by accident
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| Posted 7/27/18 9:58 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
I think I would have judged in my mind. (although I have a 12 y/o and he is capable to take care of little ones, but the OP thought the kid was younger), but I wouldn't have said anything.
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| Posted 7/27/18 10:10 PM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
not a big deal..
tbh, i leave my 2 year old in the car in the mornings while i run into DD to get my coffee. It's the "on the go" ordering, so i'm in and out very quickly. I don't think there's anything wrong with it because it's stupid to walk a 2 year old into a store for a 30 second thing, just to hear them scream and whine about wanting munchkins as soon as they see them. Don't really care if others think it's wrong- it works for me and she's been just fine!
I wouldn't leave her in the car while i did a stroll around a 7-11 or a supermarket, but i agree with the others: mind your own business, unless something you see poses a serious danger in that moment
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| Posted 7/27/18 11:14 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by ali120206
Posted by jame0801
Ok thanks! I was just never a mom to leave my kids as babies in a running car alone so it seems crazy to me. I would always rather be a little inconvenienced and bring them in than leave them unattended for what was at least 10 minutes if not more without eyes on them. Thanks for the input and for what its worth I have never said anything to another mom before in my life lol this just worried me bc the child in the fron looked very young as well.
But they weren’t unattended - they were with their 13 year old sibling. If something wasn’t right - they could’ve alerted their mother - they probably even have a phone so they wouldn’t have to leave the car.
ITA, they weren't alone, they were with their teenage brother! I was babysitting newborns alone at 11/12!
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| Posted 7/27/18 11:25 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Was the window cracked open?
I know of two people who died from carbon monoxide poisoning in a car.
As someone who was an infant in a high jacked car and my mother had to plead to the guys to let her unbuckle me, I personally would never leave an infant or toddler in a public parking lot. Just plain scary you could see the doors were unlocked, even if someone didn't want to car jack it,, all the human trafficking risk too for babies and toddler :(
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| Posted 7/28/18 3:53 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by butterfly20
Was the window cracked open?
I know of two people who died from carbon monoxide poisoning in a car.
As someone who was an infant in a high jacked car and my mother had to plead to the guys to let her unbuckle me, I personally would never leave an infant or toddler in a public parking lot. Just plain scary you could see the doors were unlocked, even if someone didn't want to car jack it,, all the human trafficking risk too for babies and toddler :(
That's scary!!I'm with you, I would never leave my infant or toddler in a public parking lot.
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| Posted 7/28/18 7:07 AM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by ChilisWife
I am paranoid about everything - if the kids start horsing around and accidentally hit the gear into drive, or if some random creep saw them there and decided to open the door and steal the car, or if there's an accident and someone hits the car, then I would never ever forgive myself. That being said I would not have said anything to the mom because there WAS a 13 year old in the car....although knowing me I may just stand next to the car keeping watch until she came out!
This is exactly my line of thinking.
Growing up, my siblings and I would play in the car (yeah, 70s child here). We were horsing around and the car in the driveway went in reverse because the gear was put in reverse. It went into the street. Luckily, nothing bad happened.
This can't happen anymore though. I'd say for the last 15 years at least, this would be impossible with the new safety feaure
I had no idea of this new safety feature. I do not own an automatic, and I haven’t really driven them much in the past 15 years. I do manual/stick only. I think this is why I’m a bit confused about this.
Yeah, pretty much you can't move the car out of park without your foot pressing down on the brake. It just stays locked in park
So kids horsing around in the car can never knock it out of park by accident
Wasn’t it always like that? You can still move the car by force on the shifter, no?
I don’t know I’m so used to my three pedals and parking brake  (you can’t really move a manual unless the e brake is put down)
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| Posted 7/28/18 7:19 AM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by starbrightgirl8
This is an interesting article about judging parents for perceived risks - NPR Article .
I had read this article a while ago, but I found it particularly interesting after reading your post. In your post, you state what the mother was doing inside the store and it seems to make a difference in your judgment of her decision to leave the kids safely in the car.
Basically, unless you see a child in imminent danger, you should mind your own business. The kids were in a well ventilated car, and none of them were in the driver's seat trying to go for a joy ride. The mother knows her kids, and it's her job to make the risk assessment. I've numerous times wished I could leave my toddler and baby in the car for a minute instead of dragging them across a parking lot into a store, but I'm too worried some busybody would call the cops on me despite my children being in a completely low risk situation. They're in more danger while I'm driving the car, especially on Long Island, than they are sitting in a well ventilated parked car for a few minutes.
I love this!
But I also want to point out that it's almost always mothers who are doing this to other mothers. Dad's are not usually out there calling each other out in public, or calling the police on each other over 5 minutes in an air conditioned car.
I don't know where women get off thinking they have the right to put another mom in a situation where she feels the need to explain a relatively benign parenting choice.
Couldn’t agree more with these 2 ladies!
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| Posted 7/28/18 8:02 AM |
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