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Re: am i being petty?
Posted by jamnmore
I know from other responses that I am in the minority on this, but yes I think you are being petty. If your child likes a toy or it is expensive, then that toy should be left at home, not brought to a grandparents house for a once a week visit. Once the toys are brought to the grandparents house (or anyone else's house for an extended period of time) they are up for grabs. Usually older and less played with toys are taken to family members homes for visits.
In the big picture, are you willing to lose your family relationship over a play tea set?
This.
Also, you said you have had it there for about a year (and it sounds like) you forgot about it.
I kinda think its cute your nephew liked it enough to want to play with it. Especially if your daughter was not using it that much.
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Posted 2/8/19 1:25 PM  |
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LInMI
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1800 total posts
Name:
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Re: am i being petty?
I'm not sure if I'm reading the post right (sorry if I have the relationship wrong.. LOL)
But I would agree with your dad. If my nephew took a toy that my DD barely played with and I can see him enjoying it I wouldn't care. I would be happy to someone getting use out of it.
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| Posted 2/8/19 1:27 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3986 total posts
Name:
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am i being petty?
I wouldnt send toys I expected back to someone else's house.
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| Posted 2/8/19 1:28 PM |
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Bonsai
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/18 463 total posts
Name:
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am i being petty?
A bit petty. Your sister also said she was "borrowing it" and will give it back. Wait a week before you get bent out of shape and see if its returned. She may surprise you.
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| Posted 2/8/19 2:20 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: am i being petty?
I feel this has more to do with your relationship with your sister than anything else going from the pretty detailed description you gave of her behavior.
It's obvious there are issues there.
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| Posted 2/8/19 2:39 PM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: am i being petty?
Probably a little petty, but I get it. My mother in law let my sister in law take my extra crib and dresser that I was storing in her basement to use for her own child. I would have let them use it, it's just the assumption that people can give away things that aren't theirs that bothers me. Just ask me before giving it to them.
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| Posted 2/8/19 3:04 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: am i being petty?
Posted by Lauren82
Probably a little petty, but I get it. My mother in law let my sister in law take my extra crib and dresser that I was storing in her basement to use for her own child. I would have let them use it, it's just the assumption that people can give away things that aren't theirs that bothers me. Just ask me before giving it to them.
This exactly.
It's more the principle
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| Posted 2/8/19 3:24 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21536 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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am i being petty?
It would annoy me, but I'd be more annoyed at my Dad for saying what he said.
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| Posted 2/8/19 6:51 PM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Re: am i being petty?
Posted by JandJ1224
Where was the video? I think the idea that a video was sent to you is more upsetting. Had they just passed the toy along would you have even noticed?
I get the holding watching your child over your head but the savings can be significant and I would keep getting the help
the video was sent in a group chat between me, that sister, my other siblings, and my dad. My mom doesn't have an iphone so she wasn't in the chat with us.
Just to be clear: I never had any intention of taking this argument any further than it went, and it wasn't about the toy at all. The point was that we gave them a bunch of toys with the agreement that they would be returned to us and replaced with more toys as she got older. It wasn't about that specific tea set, as much as it was about my parents being courteous and asking if it would be alright to give to my nephew who enjoyed playing with it.
Also wanted to add for those who stated it's an issue about my sister: i stated in the OP that the toys were brought to my parents to keep ALL of the kids occupied when they're all there. I do not have a problem with everyone playing and getting use out of the stuff whatsoever. I definitely have an issue with certain things going home with her, though, because I know they won't come back. This specific toy I would have let her keep anyway, I just wished my parents would have had the respect to ask me if it was alright first.
Message edited 2/8/2019 7:43:36 PM.
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| Posted 2/8/19 7:34 PM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Re: am i being petty?
Posted by chilltocam
I understand you being annoyed, but what struck me more than anything is it sounds like your nephew doesn't have a lot of good things in his life and he was getting a lot of happiness out of the tea set. So try to look at it like that - this little kid whose mother (it sounds like) is not doing too well by him - got some joy out of something. Some much needed joy
yes i agree with you 100%! Part of the reason why i told my mom and dad yesterday that the toy is theres and I don't want it back. Funny thing is she's a pretty successful individual too and could definitely afford to buy a few things for him. Anyway, I wasn't angry with my sister at all because I don't even think she knew it was our toy. I believe she thought my mom gave it to her to keep because it was something my mom had purchased. I'm just annoyed at my parents for thinking it's OK to give away our stuff without asking, lol.
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| Posted 2/8/19 7:38 PM |
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Katareen
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Re: am i being petty?
Posted by Lauren82
Probably a little petty, but I get it. My mother in law let my sister in law take my extra crib and dresser that I was storing in her basement to use for her own child. I would have let them use it, it's just the assumption that people can give away things that aren't theirs that bothers me. Just ask me before giving it to them.
I think when you keep/store things at other people houses, you lose having 100% control.
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| Posted 2/8/19 7:39 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7789 total posts
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Re: am i being petty?
It may be petty but I would have felt the same way. I wouldn't have liked that.
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| Posted 2/9/19 12:04 AM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: am i being petty?
Posted by Katareen
Posted by Lauren82
Probably a little petty, but I get it. My mother in law let my sister in law take my extra crib and dresser that I was storing in her basement to use for her own child. I would have let them use it, it's just the assumption that people can give away things that aren't theirs that bothers me. Just ask me before giving it to them.
I think when you keep/store things at other people houses, you lose having 100% control.
I personally expected better of my mother (who offered the storage)and sister in laws...I would never take something without asking if it was ok...And it's not like my sister in law didn't know it was mine; she had seen it at my house. All I expect is someone to ask me before you give my things away, which wouldn't have been harder than a text.
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| Posted 2/9/19 4:38 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: am i being petty?
I hate toys, one of my favorite activities is donating or throwing them out so no I wouldn’t care personally. If this tea set has sentimental value and you were planning to put it away for your daughter I would explain that and ask for it back but in the future I would only give them toys that you don’t want back. I can’t imagine bringing toys and taking them back. Seems like a lot of work for a few toys...
I also do think when you accept help from parents it does come with certain things you just have to let go. Babysitting other people’s children, even if it is your grandchildren, on a regular basis is a ton of work! I kind of agree with your dad. The cost of the tea set is probably the equivalent of an hour or two of babysitting. If it can be easily replaced just go out and buy a new one.
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| Posted 2/9/19 9:43 AM |
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amac27
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/09 471 total posts
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Re: am i being petty?
Posted by lululu
I hate toys, one of my favorite activities is donating or throwing them out so no I wouldn’t care personally. If this tea set has sentimental value and you were planning to put it away for your daughter I would explain that and ask for it back but in the future I would only give them toys that you don’t want back. I can’t imagine bringing toys and taking them back. Seems like a lot of work for a few toys...
I also do think when you accept help from parents it does come with certain things you just have to let go. Babysitting other people’s children, even if it is your grandchildren, on a regular basis is a ton of work! I kind of agree with your dad. The cost of the tea set is probably the equivalent of an hour or two of babysitting. If it can be easily replaced just go out and buy a new one.
I also agree with the pp. Your parents are watching your child for free. What is a toy tea set in the grand scheme of things?
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| Posted 2/9/19 1:06 PM |
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