am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

I do not plan on having a big 1st birthday party. i know plenty of people who do on here and in my own personal life but for me i just dont see the point.
To me id rather save the money and have a big party when she is old enough to understand and can have her little freinds at the party and enjoy it.
I used to say "oh if i had a big yard i would do someting" but now that i think about it that even costs a lot so i doubt if i had the yard space i would do anyting big.

Please dont take thsi the wrong way i dont look down on anyone who has a big birthday bash for the 1st birthday but for me its not my thing. I bring this up because i just got an email about a birthday party for OCTOBER for a first birthday! Obviously a lot of planning goes into this if someone is thinking about it now and i am just wondering am i a bad mommy?

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

We didn't have anything huge. We just had about 30 people over. And it was expensive at all. We really didn't do it for Andrew we did it for Dh and I and our family that have watched him grow over this past yr and have been with us through him getting sick, etc.

I wouldn't change it for the world. I think you should have something even if it is really small. They are great memories to have.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

you arent a bad mommy at all...my dd was born in july. i usually have a big labor day party but im going to have everyone over for her bday instead..just one summer party..and in fact i am having my family bring at least one dish each..so we are saving $$ there..it makes it easier..but i am due with my 2nd child in december..and i would def only have a small one then...dont worry about it..i know what you mean..it all adds up...and can get expensive..plan a budget..and work around that..if that helps..see if family pitches in..and keep it simple..its really about the adults at this age.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

I agree with you...I don't do big blown out 1st birthday parties. For Jack's b-day, we actually had tickets to a Notre Dame Football game so we had his first birthday party as a tailgate before the game. I thought it was perfect since both sides of our families are huge ND fans and it is only appropriate to have Jack start learning right away where he will be going to college.

Molly will be 1 in Oct and I plan on having a party here at home. I'd do a theme of some sort and decorate, etc. We don't have a huge family plus everyone lives all over the country so we never have to worry about big crowds.

So, do what you want to do and don't worry what others do. What may be right for one is not right for all. Just spending the day and celelbrating your childs first year is what is important.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

thanks everyone.

My mind is pretty much set we are not having anyting.
We belong to a beach club and we usually go down the saturday after labor day weekend as our last day there. That was actually my due date last year so maybe on that saturday we'll have cake to share with family at the beach club but thats about it.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

Not at all We had immediate family at our house and wouldn't change a thing! We did the same for her Christening and will continue to do that way until she goes to school and makes her own friends to invite

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

We had immediate family and very close friends and it was about 35-40 people and it was at my moms house. I had hero's and some catered food and then I made some food. We had a big Christening and we plan on doing the same thing for DD when she come along.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

my daughter is only 5 weeks old and we already agreed that we are going to keep it simple for her first birthday...just immediate family. no you are not a bad mom at all

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

We are not having a big party either. We were going to have a BBQ in our backyard but since we decided that 30 people (immediate family only) could not fit, we are just going out to eat.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

I know its far off, but Paige we were talking about a party for her and we probably wont do anything. She was born in January so its not like we can have a barbeque. Plus most of my DH's relatives are out of state. You are not a bad mommy

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

We had only close family - we were about 25 people and it was in our house - we took pictures, had food and cake and had a great old time!

Don't worry about not doing anything big.

I plan to just do immediate family in the future - we always grew up with birthday parties, christenings, confirmations, graduations in our basement - it doesn't even faze me - i love to keep things simple.

Message edited 5/30/2007 9:15:05 AM.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

Don't feel bad at all!!!! We went to dinner with just my immediate family....DH's family lives up state and didn't want to drive down....
so in total it was just 6 of us and it worked out just fine....Ava wore a pretty dress, a bithday hat and loved eating her cake. I got to take pictures and that was it.....She wouldn't have even known the difference! For her second birthday I plan to do the same thing.....Maybe when she is three we will do something different......hopefully she'll have some little friends by then.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

Not at all. We did immediate family(30ppl & 14 kids) at a pizzeria just because it was March. My DD's Christening was a Sunday brunch. We do things laid back

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

You are certainly not a bad mommy at all!

We are only having immediate family and our close friends. It's about 45 almost 50 people. And believe me when I say that for my family that is a small amount, because I come from a big Italian family. If I invited all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins then the total would be close to 150 and that's not counting DH's aunts, uncles, and cousins so it would be more. I told my mom that the last big shing ding I had was my wedding reception and that's it. It's too much of a hassle. So we decided to do just immediate family and close friends. When I say 50 people, I included the kids. The people we invited are the ones that we really want there, our siblings and our dearest friends that mean a lot to us.

We all have our preferences and if a small party is what you want then that's fine. In the end what will your child remember from her 1st birthday party? Yeah you can take videos and pictures but what will your child actually remember?

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

We had immediate family & godparents. The only reason why it was a "big" party is the immediate family is huge.

I think you're a smart mommy for knowing what you can & can't do.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

Posted by 04bride

I do not plan on having a big 1st birthday party. i know plenty of people who do on here and in my own personal life but for me i just dont see the point.
To me id rather save the money and have a big party when she is old enough to understand and can have her little freinds at the party and enjoy it.
I used to say "oh if i had a big yard i would do someting" but now that i think about it that even costs a lot so i doubt if i had the yard space i would do anyting big.

Please dont take thsi the wrong way i dont look down on anyone who has a big birthday bash for the 1st birthday but for me its not my thing. I bring this up because i just got an email about a birthday party for OCTOBER for a first birthday! Obviously a lot of planning goes into this if someone is thinking about it now and i am just wondering am i a bad mommy?

Message edited 5/30/2007 11:49:29 AM.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

Definitely not a bad mommy. We had a small 1st birthday and my dd had a great day and that is what it is all about. I reallly dont see the point of these big blow out bust the bank first birthdays.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

Posted by nrthshgrl

We had immediate family & godparents. The only reason why it was a "big" party is the immediate family is huge.

I think you're a smart mommy for knowing what you can & can't do.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

You are a great mommy! Far from bad.

I am not a fan of HUGE 1st birthdays. I feel like its more for the parents than the baby, they have no CLUE as to what is going on. We just got Ryan a small cake and a couple gifts and that was it. We had a big christening which I was oppossed to initially (can you tell I am not a party person?) which made me not want to have a party even more. To each his own is my take, if you are into a party than go for it. Me- I will wait until he knows what his birthday is before he has a party.

Message edited 5/30/2007 12:06:10 PM.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

no you are not a bad mommy. some people have a party and some dont. I too wanted to wait till DD was old enough like 2 or 3 to understand the "big" party but DH said no, its not for her really, its for the family to celebrate her first year of life, so we are doing a big party but by no means does it make it any better or worse. KWIM.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

when both my dd and ds turned one, we only had immediate family over the house. which was only 10 people. never regretted it. and my ds and dd where happy and relaxed cause they knew everyone there. they didnt feel overwhelmed by lots of strangers (which i knew my kids would be). they had great first bdays.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

We're not doing anything big. Just dinner & cake (and a smashcake for DD)with the grandparents, uncles & aunts.

BUT I'm already planning her 2nd birthday.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

You are not a bad mommy- we will probably still be in NY for the holidays and will do something small with the family and then another small party with our friends when we get home. No big deal- I agree. I would rather save the money too.

We aren't doing a big Christening either- just a small brunch at the house afterward. So don't feel bad

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

I don't think you're a bad Mommy at all! As someone who had a rather large party, I wish we didn't. The only reason why we did was because he is in the winter, our house is small and we didn't know where to cut the list. Michael was too young to enjoy it and now has no clue he even had one, ya know?

When I have another, his/her 1st birthday AND Christening for that matter will be much smaller! If I knew then what I know now, a lot of thing would have been different.

Re: am i a bad mommy? Re: 1st birthday

You're not a bad mommy at all. We had a backyard BBQ with family. I refused to rent a hall and have an elaborate celebration for a party that Christopher wouldn't even remember.