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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 7/18/2010 10:28:28 AM.
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Posted 8/16/05 1:34 PM  |
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AJsMommy122
Stop 2 smell the roses
Member since 5/05 2048 total posts
Name:
Maxine
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Any family - I would do it in a heartbeat as long as I had it.
Friends - It would have to be a situation where they REALLY needed the money for a GOOD reason and had no one else to go to. Even then I would be cautious
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| Posted 8/16/05 1:41 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Parents, siblings, yes. Friends, maybe. In a short amunt of time a few years ago I loaned $200 each to two friends. In college that's a lot of money. One person paid me back right away as agreed, the other person didn't pay me bakc for months and when I mentioned it (nicely) because I really needed the $$ having just gotten in a car accident, he signed offline (we were chatting over AIM) and I haven't heard from him since. And I western unioned the $$ to him so I had to pay fees and I'm still paying for it b/c it came from the "cash advance" portion of my crdit card, which doesn't get paid right away when I pay it.
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| Posted 8/16/05 2:12 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Posted by baghag
to parents?
to siblings?
to friends?
i never had to lend my parents any money but would give them all that i have
I lend my sister money when she asks...
Friends....only those that i truly trust do i lend money to
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| Posted 8/16/05 2:16 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22132 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Friends are a depends on who it is kind of situation. My friends are responsible, but there are those who will cry poverty and then tell me all about the newest outfit they bought.
Family is weird. I have lent family money in the past many times and have been paid back. So I would do it again, but after what is happening with my family lately, we'd have to see.
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| Posted 8/16/05 2:23 PM |
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Bugaboo
Relax!
Member since 5/05 2133 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Parents and siblings I wouldn't mind but I guess it would depend on what it was for. For friends same thing but it depends on which friend. I once loaned a friend $3K for his closing costs because he was short and completely tapped out. I didn't mind lending it to him because I knew I would get it back, which I did. It's a case by case basis.
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| Posted 8/16/05 2:23 PM |
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Jenn1621
<3
Member since 5/05 1728 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
I'll never lend a red cent to any family member except my parents & DH mother. I've been burned before and I am still paying for it.
Message edited 8/16/2005 2:25:18 PM.
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| Posted 8/16/05 2:25 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
well here is my running tally
SIL-1500.00
BIL-400
MIL-over 4000.00
DH's cousin-250.00
I am done..I have not spoken to SIL in 8 months, MIL is a year and a half.
BIL-I think he has forgotten, so I have to make the uncomfortable call and remind.
DH's cousin-Her husband needed bail money, I had only met her once at my wedding, I guess she felt comfortable enough to call.
MIL, SIL, BIL all call and leave messages in Spanish when they need money.
Also, they are always asking my DH to co-sign something for them. Even DH's cousins.
I guess I always felt bad that my ILs did not like me, so I tried to be as accomodating as possible, but now it is over, and I don't need ILs.
ETA: I love getting "advice" from FIL, that it is just money, and I should not let money come between me and them, that its not worth it..Primarily because I have no intrest in seeing our nephew till I get my money back. I told DH he can visit solo. It is all great and easy advice when it is not your money
Message edited 8/16/2005 2:38:45 PM.
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| Posted 8/16/05 2:36 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
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Message edited 3/14/2007 11:09:12 AM.
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| Posted 8/16/05 2:43 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Posted by baghag
Oh. My. Goodness.   I give you a lot of credit- you are much more generous than I will EVER be!
I think about it now, and my mother's side of the family always got along with my dad's side. My dad's brothers would go on vacation with my mom's brothers...From the time I was 16, my ILs did not want anything to do with me. When DH moved into my apartment, they started coming around(I was 21) and I thought it would be good to go from there. Then the money calls started coming in. I have never had a cent paid back to me, ever.
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| Posted 8/16/05 2:47 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Posted by Janice
Posted by baghag
Oh. My. Goodness. I give you a lot of credit- you are much more generous than I will EVER be!
I think about it now, and my mother's side of the family always got along with my dad's side. My dad's brothers would go on vacation with my mom's brothers...From the time I was 16, my ILs did not want anything to do with me. When DH moved into my apartment, they started coming around(I was 21) and I thought it would be good to go from there. Then the money calls started coming in. I have never had a cent paid back to me, ever.
Will you continue to lend them $?
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| Posted 8/16/05 2:57 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Posted by baghag
Posted by Janice
Posted by baghag
Oh. My. Goodness. I give you a lot of credit- you are much more generous than I will EVER be!
I think about it now, and my mother's side of the family always got along with my dad's side. My dad's brothers would go on vacation with my mom's brothers...From the time I was 16, my ILs did not want anything to do with me. When DH moved into my apartment, they started coming around(I was 21) and I thought it would be good to go from there. Then the money calls started coming in. I have never had a cent paid back to me, ever.
Will you continue to lend them $?
no, DH's sister was evicted from her apartment as well as DH's 3 month old nephew back in February. I had sent the 1500, and instead of paying her rent, she paid for her cell phone bill, and gave the rest to the baby's father. she called crying, and it killed me to do it, but I told her no, I cannot send anymore money. Her family can't believe I said no...now she is staying with a cousin somewhere..she has not filed for child support, she is on welfare, and just got a new tatoo..She is not working, and has made no effort to send me back anything. FIL found a money order receipt though in baby's father's name..I think she is sending him her welfare. I will never send a dime. I will never allow her to live with us either.
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:03 PM |
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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
i would and have lent my dad $$ in a heartbeat and he always gives it back right away...I have also borrowed $$ from him..
my sisters yes- we have a large family and my sister I am very close with and I often go half on bigger gifts. One of us will lay out the money and the other pays it back right away. We never have had a problem with this.
I have a 16 and 14 year old sister. they wanted to order a flat iron for my other sisters birthday online. So I ordered it and paid with my cc. They gave me back the $$ right away which I was surprised!!
my brother- i have in the past especially when he was a Marine and needed $$. I didnt want nor expect the $$ back at the time... now if he needed it I would be hesitant because I know I would probably not get it back...
my friends-a long time ago I put an airline ticket on my cc for a friend. We were going away and she didnt have the $$ to lay out. She never paid it back and I did remind her a few times that I needed the $$ back. She would always have an excuse.. never got it back.
for my other close friends, it depends on the situation..
Message edited 8/16/2005 3:12:57 PM.
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:05 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Posted by Janice
Posted by baghag
Posted by Janice
Posted by baghag
Oh. My. Goodness. I give you a lot of credit- you are much more generous than I will EVER be!
I think about it now, and my mother's side of the family always got along with my dad's side. My dad's brothers would go on vacation with my mom's brothers...From the time I was 16, my ILs did not want anything to do with me. When DH moved into my apartment, they started coming around(I was 21) and I thought it would be good to go from there. Then the money calls started coming in. I have never had a cent paid back to me, ever.
Will you continue to lend them $?
no, DH's sister was evicted from her apartment as well as DH's 3 month old nephew back in February. I had sent the 1500, and instead of paying her rent, she paid for her cell phone bill, and gave the rest to the baby's father. she called crying, and it killed me to do it, but I told her no, I cannot send anymore money. Her family can't believe I said no...now she is staying with a cousin somewhere..she has not filed for child support, she is on welfare, and just got a new tatoo..She is not working, and has made no effort to send me back anything. FIL found a money order receipt though in baby's father's name..I think she is sending him her welfare. I will never send a dime. I will never allow her to live with us either.
I'm really sorry, Janice.  That situation stinks for everyone.
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:08 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
mom, dad or brother - absolutely
sister - no f*cking way!! she has a habit of "borrowing" money and getting annoyed with me if i ask her to pay me back. so this is what usually happens, example, me & sister went in halvies on a b-day gift for my mom, i paid up front and she'd pay me that day. so of course she doesn't have it. a few days go by and nothing. so i ask my dad, he gives it to me. when i finally got the money from my sister, i gave it right to him. its not a perfect system, but its ok.
as far as chris goes, there is no "borrow." whats mine is his and vise versa. if i lend him $20, he'll usually put it in the savings acct when he has it.
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:09 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Posted by baghag
I'm really sorry, Janice. That situation stinks for everyone.
thanks I just feel for DH. Atleast it was just my ILS that f'ed me, for DH it was his family. When we were 18, he was the only one in the house with good credit, so they use to guilt him into charging a new fridge or stove for them,then they would pay him back..he has never seen a dime either.
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:12 PM |
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
If I had the resources, I would lend money to my family. Friends is a little scary but I still would.
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:12 PM |
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DonnaJoe708
Hello
Member since 5/05 4002 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
I would give my parents my last penny if they needed it. As for siblings, I would lend my sister and one of my brother's money if they needed it, however, I wouldn't give my oldest brother a dime. Friends...I'm not sure about this. In either case, I'm always leary of lending anyone money because I've seen relationships destroyed over this.
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:16 PM |
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DonnaJoe708
Hello
Member since 5/05 4002 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Posted by Janice
well here is my running tally
SIL-1500.00
BIL-400
MIL-over 4000.00
DH's cousin-250.00
I am done..I have not spoken to SIL in 8 months, MIL is a year and a half.
BIL-I think he has forgotten, so I have to make the uncomfortable call and remind.
DH's cousin-Her husband needed bail money, I had only met her once at my wedding, I guess she felt comfortable enough to call.
MIL, SIL, BIL all call and leave messages in Spanish when they need money.
Also, they are always asking my DH to co-sign something for them. Even DH's cousins.
I guess I always felt bad that my ILs did not like me, so I tried to be as accomodating as possible, but now it is over, and I don't need ILs.
ETA: I love getting "advice" from FIL, that it is just money, and I should not let money come between me and them, that its not worth it..Primarily because I have no intrest in seeing our nephew till I get my money back. I told DH he can visit solo. It is all great and easy advice when it is not your money
I'm sorry to hear this...this situation stinks!
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:17 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
thx-sorry to hijack thread
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:23 PM |
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kathleeng
Member since 5/05 3775 total posts
Name:
Kathleen
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Absolutely not, unless it was an absolute emergency. Sounds mean but I have an immediate family member who owes me thousands upon thousands of dollars. I helped this individual out of sheer kindness and stupidity, afraid that if it weren't for me he would starve or be homeless. I am done helping, my husband and I are struggling enough.
Sorry to vent, this is just an extremely sour issue for me.
For anyone else, PLEASE be careful regarding who you give money. It is most important that you think of your own situation before shelling it out so readily (this, of course, excludes emergency situations.) These situations can also tear family and friendships apart. It is a very delicate issue.
ETA: Janice, I totally feel for you and understand where you are coming from 10000%.
Message edited 8/16/2005 3:32:51 PM.
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:30 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Posted by kathleeng
ETA: Janice, I totally feel for you and understand where you are coming from 10000%.
thanks..and good point about you and your husband. DH and I have been forced to get into that mindset, that our family is DH and I. sorry you were burned
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:42 PM |
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kathleeng
Member since 5/05 3775 total posts
Name:
Kathleen
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
Posted by Janice
Posted by kathleeng
ETA: Janice, I totally feel for you and understand where you are coming from 10000%.
thanks..and good point about you and your husband. DH and I have been forced to get into that mindset, that our family is DH and I. sorry you were burned
Its true. I think once we are married and begin to start a family, a lot more is put into perspective.
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:44 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
The way I feel about lending money to family and friends is that I won't lend anymore than I can afford to lose. That way, if they never pay me back it's not an issue.
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| Posted 8/16/05 3:56 PM |
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dengal
Dad of Twins
Member since 5/05 1385 total posts
Name:
The 80's Man
Let's Go Mets!
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Re: Spinoff: How do you feel about lending money...
If anyone I cared about needed money (family or friend), I wouldn't hesitate to help them out - whether it be money or financial advice.
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| Posted 8/16/05 4:09 PM |
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