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LiveandLearn
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 1586 total posts
Name:
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Skipping A Grade
This might be long but please bare with me...
My niece went for her Kindergarten screening and at the recommednation of the school principal and all those she tested with they feel she should skip K and go directly to first grade.
It did not come as a surprise to my sister or BIL and was something they were possibly going to recommend but the school came to them first which made it easier.
Now here is my sisters concern (well one of them) she feels like people will think she is bragging or something if she tells people that my niece is skipping a grade. She isn't one to say "Hey whats up my daughter is going straight to first grade" but when it comes up in conversation. Or when some of the moms maybe ask when school starts -- being it is small district and she wasn't with the kids for K.
Its one of those situations where she is so proud of her daughter and rightfully so but at the same time does not want to come across as "that mom."
Any advice?
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Posted 6/2/10 12:17 PM  |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Skipping A Grade
I wouldn't worry about anyone's perception. It's her kid.. she should do what she feels is best and screw anyone who is jealous or threatened.
Having said that I am really surprised the principal recommended skipping kindergarten and I would recommend that she do a benefit analysis for her child before making a decision.
Kindergarten is a stepping stone - and I think it's an important one. A lot of kids come in better prepared than others - but by the end of the year it kind of equalizes.
I would consider the following before making a decision:
What kind of test did they give that led them to believe she should skip kindergarten?
What is the benefit to the child in bypassing kindergarten?
What are the possible detriments to bypassing kindergarten?
If these things are carefully weighed and considered and your sister feels that the best thing for her child is to skip kindergarten, then she should not give a hoot what anyone else thinks. It's all about the kid.
And you know what? I brag about my boys ALL THE TIME. I AM THAT Mom.. and I'm proud of it!
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| Posted 6/2/10 5:44 PM |
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ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Skipping A Grade
I will say this to you, in Kindergarten, I was told that Jordan tested the highest on the exam they gave(assesment). They actually made a big deal that she was SOOOoooo much higher that everyone else. They never recommended having her skip, just that we would all stay ontop of her to make sure she was being stimulated. She is now finishing 3rd grade and although she is an "A" student, she is by no means the smartest kid in school. They kinda balance out. KWIM? We worked alot with Jordan at home(she was an only child, so she got alot of time and attention) I think we gave her a big boost and she is also a January baby. She missed our cutoff by 11 days. This is how I feel. I would rather have my kid have the confidence that comes with being at the top of the class, than the kid that struggles at the bottom or somewhere inbetween.
That being said, they need to do what is best for them.
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| Posted 6/2/10 9:43 PM |
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LiveandLearn
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 1586 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping A Grade
Thanks Ladies.
Yes my sister understands what an important stepping stone K is. She started out as a K and First Grade Teacher and is now the school librarian.
As far as what testing I am not sure but I do know that my sister spoke in depth to the principal on what took place during screening, what circulum the district follows, what her concerns were. She is well qualified to make the deicision as an educator and as a parent she really feels this is best for my niece. She also spoke to several collegues who she trusts and who know my niece outside of the school setting.
My sister is confident in her decision she is just having a tough time with the comments already coming from certain people. And while she knows she shouldn't let it bother her, naturally it does. Its not like she posting it on FB, but she is proud of her and she should be. She already got a comment from someone about it along the lines of that is not right and showy that she talks about it.
Its like it is ok and natural to say "my child has a learning disability or ADD or whatever" but its not ok to say "my child is smart" -- does that make sense?
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| Posted 6/2/10 11:34 PM |
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HillandRon
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2922 total posts
Name:
Hillary
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Re: Skipping A Grade
I didn't realize they do that anymore..
My brother actually skipped kindergarten and they wanted himt o skip first grade also.. This was back in the late 70's so it was quite different.. My mother decided that he would skip kindergarten but that was it.. she thought maturity wise it would be best to do that only... I don't think my mother got lots of comments--she was quite proud of it..
I had the opposite effect with JAcob. I was contemplating keeping him back because of his behavioral issues and he was born in September... He had his screenng for kindegarten and he scored 100%.. They couldn't believe it and neither could I or any of his therapists.... With that being said,I am definately not keeping him back.
I am sure she will make the right decision for her child.
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| Posted 6/3/10 8:20 AM |
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cantbelieveit
Love these kids!
Member since 10/05 4708 total posts
Name:
Tammy
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Re: Skipping A Grade
I wouldn't worry if I were your sis. There is being proud and there is bragging. Nothing wrong with being proud of your child. My dd is very smart but there are a lot of other things we need to work on. I have friends who are proud of there children for their behavior etc but say they need work academically. I never have a problem saying how proud I am of my daughter but I also make sure I am rubbing it in and not doing it in the same coversation as someone who is venting about their dc struggling.
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| Posted 6/3/10 8:21 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Skipping A Grade
She has made a conscious and qualified decision to do something that she feels is in the best interest of her child. This is something that mothers do everyday and there is no need for her to feel even remotely self conscious about it.
Honestly - I can't see the issue coming up all that often with people. People may ask what grade she's in, the answer is "First" - no need to elaborate unless she wants to. And if the situation does arise where she wants to or needs to explain that your niece skipped kindergarten, there are ways to explain it without coming off as condescending.
Your niece has accomplished something that is exceptional and your family has every right to be proud. If people are jealous or bitter because of it - well that is THEIR problem, isn't it?
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| Posted 6/3/10 9:07 AM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Skipping A Grade
Honestly, I would never ALLOW my child to "skip a grade", especially a grade as important as KIndergarten. I think that it makes the child "different" and ostracizes them from their peers. trust me, by 1st grade, ALL the kids will know that she did not go to K.
If I were in that situation, I would send her to Kindergarten, and possibly some kind of "enrichment" program after school. Then, once first grade starts, I would ask about having her spend some portion of the day in a 2nd grade classroom. By 3rd grade, most districts HAVE a "gifted" program that the children can start participating in if they test into it.
However, as far as skipping a grade, I would NEVER let any district push my child ahead, I do not care HOW smart that child was. It can become a social nightmare for the child, and puts too much stress on him/her. They are only little once, and Kindergarten is such a special time.
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| Posted 6/3/10 4:58 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping A Grade
I wouldnt worry about what others say. She should do whats best for her dd.
Just curious....what is the benefits of skipping a grade? They feel she would be bored? If she is best in her grade, why would they push her fwd? why not stay best in the grade? Just wondering..
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| Posted 6/3/10 8:22 PM |
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LiveandLearn
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 1586 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping A Grade
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Honestly, I would never ALLOW my child to "skip a grade", especially a grade as important as KIndergarten. I think that it makes the child "different" and ostracizes them from their peers. trust me, by 1st grade, ALL the kids will know that she did not go to K.
If I were in that situation, I would send her to Kindergarten, and possibly some kind of "enrichment" program after school. Then, once first grade starts, I would ask about having her spend some portion of the day in a 2nd grade classroom. By 3rd grade, most districts HAVE a "gifted" program that the children can start participating in if they test into it.
However, as far as skipping a grade, I would NEVER let any district push my child ahead, I do not care HOW smart that child was. It can become a social nightmare for the child, and puts too much stress on him/her. They are only little once, and Kindergarten is such a special time.
Well thank you for YOUR opinion on wheather or not a child should move ahead but that wasn't my question. My question was more about how to handle remarks exactly like yours. How to respond to people who feel that their opinion is the only one -- because she is getting already. Mostly from people who can't handle the fact that their own child is struggling in school.
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| Posted 6/4/10 1:29 PM |
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LiveandLearn
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 1586 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping A Grade
Posted by PrincessP
I wouldnt worry about what others say. She should do whats best for her dd.
Just curious....what is the benefits of skipping a grade? They feel she would be bored? If she is best in her grade, why would they push her fwd? why not stay best in the grade? Just wondering..
She is extremely intelligent and it is beyond her being bored (which she would be). It is not about being the best either. It is about being completely enriched and challenged and in K she would not be receiving either. She has done a full year of full day pre-k and even that was not a challenge for her. And the pre-k she did was almost identical in what they will be doing in K this coming year.
The benefit is getting what she needs out of school and not just being in a grade because of your age (which is only a few weeks difference from the cut off).
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| Posted 6/4/10 1:44 PM |
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Elizabeth
Mom of Three
Member since 9/05 7900 total posts
Name:
"MOMMY!!!"
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Re: Skipping A Grade
Posted by LiveandLearn
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Honestly, I would never ALLOW my child to "skip a grade", especially a grade as important as KIndergarten. I think that it makes the child "different" and ostracizes them from their peers. trust me, by 1st grade, ALL the kids will know that she did not go to K.
If I were in that situation, I would send her to Kindergarten, and possibly some kind of "enrichment" program after school. Then, once first grade starts, I would ask about having her spend some portion of the day in a 2nd grade classroom. By 3rd grade, most districts HAVE a "gifted" program that the children can start participating in if they test into it.
However, as far as skipping a grade, I would NEVER let any district push my child ahead, I do not care HOW smart that child was. It can become a social nightmare for the child, and puts too much stress on him/her. They are only little once, and Kindergarten is such a special time.
Well thank you for YOUR opinion on wheather or not a child should move ahead but that wasn't my question. My question was more about how to handle remarks exactly like yours. How to respond to people who feel that their opinion is the only one -- because she is getting already. Mostly from people who can't handle the fact that their own child is struggling in school.
OK I don't think she meant anything by her comment, I think you are taking it wrong. Although I disagree about the part with all the kids knowing she didn't go to Kindergarten. I can't believe that is really an issue. New kids come into school districts and move out all the time so there are plenty of kids coming and going. I highly doubt 6 & 7 year olds are so focused on it, esp since I doubt the school will be saying "here's a kid who is 5 while the rest of you are 6 or 7" to the other kids. She will be another child. It's not like she is 5 and going into 5th grade where it's obvious. I do agree with questioning a SD pushing a child ahead so young though. IMO that might be the part that is getting comments. As a parent, I just wonder how a SD can be sure that a preschoolers who tests very well should be skipping an important grade like Kindergarten. I can see if they knew the child for a year and thought jumping from K to 2 or 1 to 3 was a good idea but to not know the child, their personality, their maturity level etc. which basically they don't since the child has never been a student there, seems a bit premature.
As far as comments, anyone who is a parent knows someone will always have a comment over something. There will always be people who think their opinion is the only one. (in any aspect of life). I also doubt that every parent is jealous bc their kids su ck and they can't skip. I think people just will always have something to say, not everyone has the same motive. If your sister thinks it's the right move for her DD, then I don't know any advice except to just hold strong to her own belief and do her best to ignore comments. She doesn't have to defend herself or her choices to random people.
Yes some of the replies here are not purely within the realm of your specific question but that's how it goes sometimes.
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| Posted 6/4/10 10:01 PM |
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Kierasmom
I love my kids
Member since 5/05 2885 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Skipping A Grade
Posted by LiveandLearn
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Honestly, I would never ALLOW my child to "skip a grade", especially a grade as important as KIndergarten. I think that it makes the child "different" and ostracizes them from their peers. trust me, by 1st grade, ALL the kids will know that she did not go to K.
If I were in that situation, I would send her to Kindergarten, and possibly some kind of "enrichment" program after school. Then, once first grade starts, I would ask about having her spend some portion of the day in a 2nd grade classroom. By 3rd grade, most districts HAVE a "gifted" program that the children can start participating in if they test into it.
However, as far as skipping a grade, I would NEVER let any district push my child ahead, I do not care HOW smart that child was. It can become a social nightmare for the child, and puts too much stress on him/her. They are only little once, and Kindergarten is such a special time.
Well thank you for YOUR opinion on wheather or not a child should move ahead but that wasn't my question. My question was more about how to handle remarks exactly like yours. How to respond to people who feel that their opinion is the only one -- because she is getting already. Mostly from people who can't handle the fact that their own child is struggling in school.
I think you took this entirely the wrong way. She was simply stating why she wouldn't do it. Your sister's concern as you posted was more of will people feel she was bragging about it. This poster didn't say anything bad about your sister bragging about it. She's simply saying she wouldn't let a district push skipping a grade on her child, which personally I 100% agree with. My daughter entered into K reading at a 2nd-3rd grade level. She is well beyond what her age group knows. We considered skipping but decided it was more important for her to be a kid at this age and make friends with children her age. It's a personal decision that parents need to make based on their own child and that child's personality. We didn't feel as if DD has the personality for it so we decided not to move her forward at this time.
As far as your sister's concerns about what people would think with her bragging, as another parent I really would not take it as bragging unless she presented it that way. It all depends on how you say it to other people. And I never concern myself with what other parents think of me or the decisions I make for my children. Who cares if people think it's bragging? That is the least of my concerns as a parent.
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| Posted 6/5/10 12:21 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Skipping A Grade
I don't think the OP was even asking whether people would push their child ahead. It seems that the decision was already made, so stating why you wouldn't do it and then offering reasons why it might be "harmful" (ostracized? in Kindergarten? really?) are nothing but hurtful, IMO.
To the OP, while I don't usually agree with pushing ahead, there are VERY real circumstances where it is truly beneficial to the child- and it looks like your sister and her district feel it's best. That is WONDERFUL.
I don't see the need to share any more than, "She's going straight to first grade." If anyone makes comments, she should just say, "This was the schools recommendation initially and after lots of research and thinking about it we've decided this is best for our child." Done. If anyone has anything else to add other than good wishes, she should just shut them down by stating she didn't ask for their opinion.
ETA: It's pretty rare for a school district to recommend skipping grades. Usually it's parents who initiate it- and most are told "no". For a school to make that recommendation, ALL factors have been investigated: academic achievement, perceived ability, maturity level, etc.
Message edited 6/6/2010 10:02:17 AM.
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| Posted 6/6/10 10:00 AM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Skipping A Grade
Posted by LiveandLearn
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Honestly, I would never ALLOW my child to "skip a grade", especially a grade as important as KIndergarten. I think that it makes the child "different" and ostracizes them from their peers. trust me, by 1st grade, ALL the kids will know that she did not go to K.
If I were in that situation, I would send her to Kindergarten, and possibly some kind of "enrichment" program after school. Then, once first grade starts, I would ask about having her spend some portion of the day in a 2nd grade classroom. By 3rd grade, most districts HAVE a "gifted" program that the children can start participating in if they test into it.
However, as far as skipping a grade, I would NEVER let any district push my child ahead, I do not care HOW smart that child was. It can become a social nightmare for the child, and puts too much stress on him/her. They are only little once, and Kindergarten is such a special time.
Well thank you for YOUR opinion on wheather or not a child should move ahead but that wasn't my question. My question was more about how to handle remarks exactly like yours. How to respond to people who feel that their opinion is the only one -- because she is getting already. Mostly from people who can't handle the fact that their own child is struggling in school.
Wow...
Well, YOU asked for opinions, and you do not have to like mine. And I refuse to even grace your nastiness with an answer regarding my own childrens success in school.
Good luck.
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| Posted 6/7/10 1:29 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19454 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Skipping A Grade
My son is in preschool. However, after evaluating him over a 4 week period, he was placed with an older class by the school. Most of the class is turning 4 this Fall and my son will just be turning 3 this summer. While I can see some emotional maturity differences between the boys and the girls, he is thriving in the class. I think that holding him back would not have benefited him at all. At the start of the school year people asked me how old my son was. We are new to the school, well of course they were surprised, but when they interacted with him they realized he was in the class he was meant to be in. I would let the other parents come to me. Of course I was extremely proud of my son for being advanced, but I also tried to balance it. If I was facing an issue, I was vocal about it, so as to lessen the fact that my kid is "advanced" KWIM?
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| Posted 6/7/10 9:13 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Skipping A Grade
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Posted by LiveandLearn
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Honestly, I would never ALLOW my child to "skip a grade", especially a grade as important as KIndergarten. I think that it makes the child "different" and ostracizes them from their peers. trust me, by 1st grade, ALL the kids will know that she did not go to K.
If I were in that situation, I would send her to Kindergarten, and possibly some kind of "enrichment" program after school. Then, once first grade starts, I would ask about having her spend some portion of the day in a 2nd grade classroom. By 3rd grade, most districts HAVE a "gifted" program that the children can start participating in if they test into it.
However, as far as skipping a grade, I would NEVER let any district push my child ahead, I do not care HOW smart that child was. It can become a social nightmare for the child, and puts too much stress on him/her. They are only little once, and Kindergarten is such a special time.
Well thank you for YOUR opinion on wheather or not a child should move ahead but that wasn't my question. My question was more about how to handle remarks exactly like yours. How to respond to people who feel that their opinion is the only one -- because she is getting already. Mostly from people who can't handle the fact that their own child is struggling in school.
Wow...
Well, YOU asked for opinions, and you do not have to like mine. And I refuse to even grace your nastiness with an answer regarding my own childrens success in school.
Good luck.
But she DIDN'T ask for anyone's opinion. She asked how her sister should respond to people's questions and how to avoid sounding like she was bragging. Big difference I think.
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| Posted 6/8/10 9:19 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Skipping A Grade
Posted by Porrruss
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Posted by LiveandLearn
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Honestly, I would never ALLOW my child to "skip a grade", especially a grade as important as KIndergarten. I think that it makes the child "different" and ostracizes them from their peers. trust me, by 1st grade, ALL the kids will know that she did not go to K.
If I were in that situation, I would send her to Kindergarten, and possibly some kind of "enrichment" program after school. Then, once first grade starts, I would ask about having her spend some portion of the day in a 2nd grade classroom. By 3rd grade, most districts HAVE a "gifted" program that the children can start participating in if they test into it.
However, as far as skipping a grade, I would NEVER let any district push my child ahead, I do not care HOW smart that child was. It can become a social nightmare for the child, and puts too much stress on him/her. They are only little once, and Kindergarten is such a special time.
Well thank you for YOUR opinion on wheather or not a child should move ahead but that wasn't my question. My question was more about how to handle remarks exactly like yours. How to respond to people who feel that their opinion is the only one -- because she is getting already. Mostly from people who can't handle the fact that their own child is struggling in school.
Wow...
Well, YOU asked for opinions, and you do not have to like mine. And I refuse to even grace your nastiness with an answer regarding my own childrens success in school.
Good luck.
But she DIDN'T ask for anyone's opinion. She asked how her sister should respond to people's questions and how to avoid sounding like she was bragging. Big difference I think.
Crashing
And I think that is exactly what she is talking about-when people find out, they may comment about how they would never do that, etc. Some of the comments stem from curiosity, others from jealousy and some from their own experiences What is an appropriate response to exactly that kind of comment?
Me-I'd just say, "yay, as nervous as we were about it, it's what is best for her and that's what matters and we are really proud of her, she seems to be doing really well".
.
Message edited 6/8/2010 10:10:52 AM.
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| Posted 6/8/10 10:09 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 9/1/2011 4:20:30 PM.
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| Posted 6/8/10 10:22 AM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping A Grade
1. We have a student who skipped a grade in my school (and honestly, he could easily skip another grade). the ONLY con to it, is his size. He is the shortest kid in the grade - which is not a big deal (more so for a girl). It doesn't bother him though - he's BFF with the tallest kid in the class.
This kid is so well adjusted AND humble that I definitely think the school and his parents made the right decision!
2. As to how to respond to people, I like what the PP said. After much discussion and testing the school professionals and we decided this was a good decision. I'm sure after this year, she can avoid the question and she will assimilate quickly.
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| Posted 6/8/10 4:44 PM |
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