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Out Of Control: Putting The Reins On Explosive Arguments

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

The biggest problem with marriage these days is that while we fell in love despite our differences, after the “I dos”, most begin to despise these differences and most couples struggle with the notion of simply “agreeing to disagree”.

Yet, successful couples, even those in the limelight (such as Arnold and Maria Shriver) know or have learned that it’s possible stay together even when (some of) your philosophies or methodologies are “world’s” apart.

And, most know that disagreements and “arguments” are part of the matrimonial equation. Still, according to experts, it’s not the arguments that damage and often destroy marriages but rather the way we argue. And, they add, that surviving serious squabbles is all part of a “simple” strategy.

1. Keep in mind that you are not alone. All couples, even the outwardly perfect and happy ones have disagreements and serious arguments. In fact, anger is a “natural” human emotion most of us are inclined to show. Just remember, that curbing you anger and your negative emotions from getting hurtful or out of control is the key.

2. Take things slow. Don’t respond with your immediate reaction. Remember, time has a way of softening the initial “blow”, but it give you time to think and come up with a better reaction and response, one likely less damaging to the other’s ego, and to the relationship.

3. Keep on keeping on. Live up to your vows by NOT storming off or alienating your partner. While you may need to go for a short walk, run or simply sit in another room for a while, it’s imperative that you neither pack your or your partner’s bag implicating that one of you should take off.

4. Take care of yourself. Remember, the only person you can be responsible for, is YOU. Even if your partner loses his or her cool, it’s imperative that you keep the situation under control by keeping and maintaining YOUR cool.

5. Take authority to apologize. You don’t have to back down on your position to apologize for stirring the pot and perhaps “upsetting” the other person, or pursuing the discussion in an angry or “disrespectful”, “belittling” manner. If you can’t apologize or admit when you are wrong, you may be seriously wronging your relationship.


Long Island Relationship Articles > Out Of Control: Putting The Reins On Explosive Arguments

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