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Attention Getters: Giving Her The Attention She Needs And Getting The Attention You Need.

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

Most women dream about marrying the handsome, sensitive, caring, successful, charming prince who will wine them, dine them, and romance them like they do in the books and movies.

Some ladies may even find some semblance of this otherwise “extinct” creature in the man we choose to marry. Yet, most women begin to wonder what happened to “Mr. Wonderful” once the relationship has reached a comfortable “comfort” zone.

Lets face it, living together and sharing life can take the spontaneity and romance out of most relationships. And, according to experts, it has nothing to do with not being in love or losing our attraction for our partner, but is simply a result of trying to (continue to) blend “fantasy” with reality, when reality is something every couple does and shares on a daily basis.

In fact, what most couples find is that they get caught in sort of a catch 22 and a vicious cycle. In most instances guys will gripe about the lack of (interest) in sex and the decline of frequency, while gals will grumble about the recession in romance. And the two go hand in hand, each “solely” dependent on the other.

And, while it’s not necessarily something most guys want to hear, it’s the (creative) romance that will lead to greater, more frequent intimacy and sex or at least and increased interest in both.

And, despite of what you may have thought or heard, romance doesn’t have to be extravagant displays or gestures of affection. It is merely an outward display of these things even in the subtlest of ways.

1. Be Open To Her Advances: Okay, let’s define advances. Contrary to your wishful thinking, it doesn’t (always) refer to her waiting for you in a hot bubble bath or in a revealing lingerie and throwing you or the bed, floor, etc. It can be as subtle as her cuddling up to you on the couch, holding your hand while watching your favorite show or rented movie, rubbing your back or shoulders, and, get this, she may not want you to tackle her in return, just simply reciprocate the affection and allow things to develop gradually and naturally.

2. Stop Your Whining: There’s NOTHING sexy or romantic about whining. In fact, reminding her that your “due” for some love and affection only makes you sound like a demanding spoiled brat with no control of your “urges” and no regard for anyone’s wants or needs but your own. Instead, say nothing and simply show HER some affection (foot rub, massage, grabbing her hand while walking) and expect NOTHING in return. In fact, some experts say you may even want to “turn her down” if she “obliges” your efforts by taking initiative and making the first move. Let her see, it HER, and not just her body that you want, making you and the prospect of romance even more romantically appealing.

3. Be Complimentary: While flattery may not get you anywhere, sincere compliments likely will. From her cooking, to her ideas, home decorating skills, how she looks, smells, even how well she pleases and satisfies you “personally”, letting her know she and her efforts are acknowledged and appreciated may just get you a little “appreciation” in return.

4. Treat Her To Something Special: While words (see above) are a definite benefit, actions sometimes speak louder than words. Consider starting and/or finishing a special project, picking up her favorite dessert or ice cream, renting a movie she wants to see, or even showing up with a single red rose. Making her feel like a special woman will in turn make her want act like a “woman” toward you.

5. Get Involved: In her day, life and conversation that is. It’s important to remember that while YOU may be able to leave the day behind you at the office, women like and appreciate conversation, and DON’T always want you to “fix” the situation. In fact, more often than not, they simply want you to listen, offer some opinion, and show come compassion and emotion.

6. Choose Your Words Wisely: Leave her a little love note on the fridge or in her lunch box letting her know how much you love and miss her. If you’re not that good at expressing yourself, find a website specializing in poems or daily inspirations and send her one each day.

7. Make Time For Her: Actually free up some time for her so that she can have more time for you. Experts agree that a woman’s day can be packed with obligations. From getting herself and the family ready for the day, working her job, tending to chores, preparing dinner, helping with homework, and the list goes on, the only thing she wants to do when she gets to bed, is sleep. Consider having dinner waiting for her when she gets home (even if you have to order it), set the table, make sure kids are fed, washed and ready to go. Remember, the key here is taking some of the burden off her, so that she can focus on you.

8. Show Her A Good Time: Set the mood by encouraging her to show you a “good time” by organizing a fun night out for the two of you. Make reservations at a trendy new restaurant or bistro, take her to the theatre, whatever you do, take initiative in giving her an opportunity to get dressed up and dolled up and want to continue the “celebration” when you return home.

9. Call For Reinforcement: Never stop letting her know how much you desire her (physically and emotionally). Even if she knows, she a woman and never gets tired of hearing it, and it may just earn you some “brownie points” in the bedroom.



Long Island Relationship Articles > Attention Getters: Giving Her The Attention She Needs And Getting The Attention You Need.

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