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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by KarenK122
Posted by hmm
for those insisting on giving a gift, why? The family set a boundary, they ask the gifts be donation. Why isn't that enough. The question to ask yourself, if the tables was turned how would you feel. Ex, In the Jewish religion, it's not uncommon for the "child" to do an act that gives to others for their birthday.
To me, it comes of disrespectful to act the opposite from what is being ask, simply because it causes "you " as individuals to feel uncomfortable.
Everyone feels uncomfortable, but it's okay, and normal.
To send a gift when asked not to, is to fulfill your own need.
vent over :)
If it was for an adult or an older child I would have no issue not giving a gift if that was what was asked. If the child was younger, unless they are heavily involved in some charitable organization like a previous poster said, I would feel bad for the child not to get any gifts. I would donate and give a small gift to the child.
The child is turning 4
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Posted 3/26/22 7:46 AM  |
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RomeyT
LIF Infant
Member since 1/21 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by KarenK122
Posted by hmm
for those insisting on giving a gift, why? The family set a boundary, they ask the gifts be donation. Why isn't that enough. The question to ask yourself, if the tables was turned how would you feel. Ex, In the Jewish religion, it's not uncommon for the "child" to do an act that gives to others for their birthday.
To me, it comes of disrespectful to act the opposite from what is being ask, simply because it causes "you " as individuals to feel uncomfortable.
Everyone feels uncomfortable, but it's okay, and normal.
To send a gift when asked not to, is to fulfill your own need.
vent over :)
If it was for an adult or an older child I would have no issue not giving a gift if that was what was asked. If the child was younger, unless they are heavily involved in some charitable organization like a previous poster said, I would feel bad for the child not to get any gifts. I would donate and give a small gift to the child.
The child is turning 4
Kids are kids once and for a very short amount of time. I’m sure the parents mean well but I honestly think this is a bit of virtue-signaling. If they really care they should crack out their own checkbook for Ukraine and let the kid be a damn kid. There are plenty of ways to teach empathy/kindness/awareness without putting others in an awkward situation.
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| Posted 3/26/22 10:28 AM |
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Wow, 4????? Absolutely get them a gift. Sorry but at 4 they don’t know to make that decision and it sounds like these parents don’t want more toys in their house. Sorry but I think that is horrible and how did they want you to donate? On your own or give them money to donate?
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| Posted 3/26/22 10:43 AM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4430 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by KarenK122
Posted by hmm
for those insisting on giving a gift, why? The family set a boundary, they ask the gifts be donation. Why isn't that enough. The question to ask yourself, if the tables was turned how would you feel. Ex, In the Jewish religion, it's not uncommon for the "child" to do an act that gives to others for their birthday.
To me, it comes of disrespectful to act the opposite from what is being ask, simply because it causes "you " as individuals to feel uncomfortable.
Everyone feels uncomfortable, but it's okay, and normal.
To send a gift when asked not to, is to fulfill your own need.
vent over :)
If it was for an adult or an older child I would have no issue not giving a gift if that was what was asked. If the child was younger, unless they are heavily involved in some charitable organization like a previous poster said, I would feel bad for the child not to get any gifts. I would donate and give a small gift to the child.
The child is turning 4
4?? Oh that poor kid. It's the parents trying to show everyone how "caring" they are. A 4 year old definitely didn't come up with lets send donations to the Ukraine. Maybe the parents should have paired down on the party and sent their own money to the Ukraine and let the poor kid gets some gifts. That's terrible.
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| Posted 3/26/22 11:03 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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No gifts means no gifts, right?
Ok, 4 is too young to have chosen to donate their birthday gifts to Ukraine. I would give a gift along with the donation.
It’s absolutely virtue signaling, no question.
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| Posted 3/26/22 11:22 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Poor kid....
Get them a gift
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| Posted 3/26/22 11:30 AM |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
It seems like the OP would like to give something small to the child in addition to the donation. It doesn't take much to make a 4 year old happy when it comes to gifts. $10 can go a long way when it comes to a nice gift that doesn't take up a lot of space. Some suggestions are:
Barbie doll with no extra accessories
Peppa pig figures
Action figures such as paw patrol or PJ Mask (Walmart.com sells blind boxes for around $5 and some kids love blind/mystery boxes).
You can check out five below too.
Message edited 3/26/2022 12:51:47 PM.
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| Posted 3/26/22 12:50 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22132 total posts
Name:
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No gifts means no gifts, right?
Personally, I'd get a little something for the kid. The idea is very nice but at 4? Maybe a book or barnes and noble gift card/small lego set/coloring book and crayons/tie dye kit and tee shirt/
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| Posted 3/26/22 1:15 PM |
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ap123
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 268 total posts
Name:
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No gifts means no gifts, right?
Maybe the parents want to let their kid invite all his/her friends but doesn’t want toys from 20 different friends on top of what they get from family. Unless we’re talking about an underprivileged kid, is it really a big deal?
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| Posted 3/26/22 1:27 PM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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No gifts means no gifts, right?
If they care so much, why are they using their kids birthday party as a fundraiser? IMO, just write a check yourself and let the kid have a birthday party with fun and presents. I would personally still get them a gift especially a 4 year old.
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| Posted 3/26/22 6:31 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by ap123
Maybe the parents want to let their kid invite all his/her friends but doesn’t want toys from 20 different friends on top of what they get from family. Unless we’re talking about an underprivileged kid, is it really a big deal?
While I tend to agree and I also am not a fan of getting a million toys, I think turning a 4 year old’s birthday into a fundraiser is odd. If you don’t want gifts, just say “no gifts please” on the invite.
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| Posted 3/26/22 7:12 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by ap123
Maybe the parents want to let their kid invite all his/her friends but doesn’t want toys from 20 different friends on top of what they get from family. Unless we’re talking about an underprivileged kid, is it really a big deal?
Definitely not underprivileged. I think I will run to Michaels craft store to get a little something small that is age appropriate so it’s something they can “do” rather than stuff sitting around the house that the kids use once. And also the donation. They are a very nice family so I don’t think they are virtue scamming…
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| Posted 3/26/22 7:34 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
I would give a card with print out of donation and maybe a cute sticker pad inside the card. So it’s a little something without actually bringing a gift when the invite clearly states not to.
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| Posted 3/26/22 8:07 PM |
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lima19
LIF Infant
Member since 5/19 105 total posts
Name:
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No gifts means no gifts, right?
We went to one party that asked for no gifts. I believe the child was turning 5. I am sorry to sat, icoukdnt do it, but I only brought a card and a book special to the year he was born. Perhaps this family has family in Ukraine? It was definitely parents idea which is fine. Kids get enough from family members alone. But I like your idea of something to do, crafty. That's fun.
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| Posted 3/27/22 9:35 PM |
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Adding in to the notion that the kid might get a lot from family, but honestly, how do you know that? My kids never had a lot of family around to get them gifts and while we didn't have a ton of parties when they grew up, when they were that age, they had their daycare friends and then older school friends at parties.
Not everyone has a large family that will give kids tons of gifts so maybe the few that they have at their parties will mean a lot to the child and now it sounds like they might just not get anything at all.
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| Posted 3/28/22 8:00 AM |
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