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lima19
LIF Infant
Member since 5/19 105 total posts
Name:
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Moms - WWYD re bday party
The moms will stay at a k party. Hopefully, the mom can control his behavior at the party. The chances if the entire class responding yes is very slim so he most likely wouldn't be the only one ot going. But at the same time, he can't be the only one excluded so either cut the list or invite all.
Message edited 5/6/2021 3:38:41 AM.
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Posted 5/6/21 3:38 AM  |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
It's just plain mean to invite the whole class minus one kid. How would your son feel if the whole kindergarten class was invited to a party and he was the only one excluded because he has "issues"? If you have to avoid this kid because his presence really stresses your son out then he should not be the only boy uninvited. Have your son pick a few kids to invite so this kid doesn't feel like he's the only one being excluded. He either invites everyone, or a small guestlist, or no one at all. It's not okay to leave one kid out. That could be your kid.
Message edited 5/6/2021 6:29:16 AM.
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| Posted 5/6/21 6:18 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by LuckyStar
Granted, my opinion might be colored by the fact that my kid’s class is full of little aholes with big ahole parents.
SAME! I'm trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t.
I am also jaded because I have previous experience with my older son...it always seems like the kids who require the most supervision have parents who are huge fans of the drop and run. Party = free babysitting. Then DH or I spend the entire party following the kid around making sure they don't hurt themselves or someone else. One year, a kid told me he didn't like fondant and pushed my son's birthday cake onto the floor. In front of my mother. Who spent hours making fondant Fort night figures.
No, some kids are pricks and they usually have prick parents.
Kids in my DD’s class are excluded all the time. There’s a group of moms who stand around talking about sleepovers, trips, birthdays, etc the kids take together in front of all the others. The rest of us cringe because a. that’s mean and b. 3 of the 4 kids in this group have quarantined the class 3 separate times. And not surprisingly the kids are mean, too. One of them calls my DD “an idiot girl” all the time. Which, I mean, if I had his mom for a role model I’d think girls were idiots, too.
My DD didn’t get to do anything for her birthday because she was quarantined for it (see above). I will begrudge these families until hs graduation and you guys are welcome to judge me for it 
Kids are excluded all the time but to invite the entire class except one is so completely inappropriate.
Normally I agree but OP’s son works himself up to the point of crying because this kid is so mean. I don’t think a child should dread his birthday party.
Then don’t have a party or only invite a handful of kids. Excluding one kid is beyond ridiculous. Imagine if that was your child excluded? Kids need to learn empathy more than they need to enjoy a birthday party.
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| Posted 5/6/21 11:54 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by LuckyStar
Granted, my opinion might be colored by the fact that my kid’s class is full of little aholes with big ahole parents.
SAME! I'm trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t.
I am also jaded because I have previous experience with my older son...it always seems like the kids who require the most supervision have parents who are huge fans of the drop and run. Party = free babysitting. Then DH or I spend the entire party following the kid around making sure they don't hurt themselves or someone else. One year, a kid told me he didn't like fondant and pushed my son's birthday cake onto the floor. In front of my mother. Who spent hours making fondant Fort night figures.
No, some kids are pricks and they usually have prick parents.
Kids in my DD’s class are excluded all the time. There’s a group of moms who stand around talking about sleepovers, trips, birthdays, etc the kids take together in front of all the others. The rest of us cringe because a. that’s mean and b. 3 of the 4 kids in this group have quarantined the class 3 separate times. And not surprisingly the kids are mean, too. One of them calls my DD “an idiot girl” all the time. Which, I mean, if I had his mom for a role model I’d think girls were idiots, too.
My DD didn’t get to do anything for her birthday because she was quarantined for it (see above). I will begrudge these families until hs graduation and you guys are welcome to judge me for it
Kids are excluded all the time but to invite the entire class except one is so completely inappropriate.
Normally I agree but OP’s son works himself up to the point of crying because this kid is so mean. I don’t think a child should dread his birthday party.
Then don’t have a party or only invite a handful of kids. Excluding one kid is beyond ridiculous. Imagine if that was your child excluded? Kids need to learn empathy more than they need to enjoy a birthday party.
If my kid were so mean to others she made them cry I’d have bigger fish to fry than whether she was invited to a birthday party.
I agree if the child has behavioral issues he cannot control he should absolutely be invited. But if he’s a mean, purposely spiteful kid then the birthday child’s feelings outweigh the mean kid. This is just my opinion and I’m obviously in the minority here which is fine.
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| Posted 5/6/21 1:16 PM |
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ap123
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 268 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by LuckyStar
Granted, my opinion might be colored by the fact that my kid’s class is full of little aholes with big ahole parents.
SAME! I'm trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t.
I am also jaded because I have previous experience with my older son...it always seems like the kids who require the most supervision have parents who are huge fans of the drop and run. Party = free babysitting. Then DH or I spend the entire party following the kid around making sure they don't hurt themselves or someone else. One year, a kid told me he didn't like fondant and pushed my son's birthday cake onto the floor. In front of my mother. Who spent hours making fondant Fort night figures.
I totally agree that the ones with the worst behavior have the hands off parents. But this is when you show your kid that there are two choices and none might be exactly what he wants. Invite all the kids, even the behavioral ones, or realize you really only need a few close friends to have a good time.
The idea of trying to figure out who has “issues” and who is just mean is silly. How could you possibly know that without making assumptions.
You will feel awful and sneaky if you exclude one kid.
Message edited 5/6/2021 1:39:29 PM.
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| Posted 5/6/21 1:38 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7179 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Moms - WWYD re bday party
Agree with everyone else that you can’t exclude just one child.
But assuming your child is in a class with 18 to 20 kids, I can’t imagine that he’s actually buddies with absolutely all of them. When my kids were in kindergarten, I knew the 5-6 kids that they talked about constantly. Those were their friends.
Add in a few family friends, neighbors, cousins and 10-12 kids is perfect for a 6yo party.
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| Posted 5/6/21 2:11 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7179 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by LuckyStar
Granted, my opinion might be colored by the fact that my kid’s class is full of little aholes with big ahole parents.
SAME! I'm trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t.
I am also jaded because I have previous experience with my older son...it always seems like the kids who require the most supervision have parents who are huge fans of the drop and run. Party = free babysitting. Then DH or I spend the entire party following the kid around making sure they don't hurt themselves or someone else. One year, a kid told me he didn't like fondant and pushed my son's birthday cake onto the floor. In front of my mother. Who spent hours making fondant Fort night figures.
No, some kids are pricks and they usually have prick parents.
Kids in my DD’s class are excluded all the time. There’s a group of moms who stand around talking about sleepovers, trips, birthdays, etc the kids take together in front of all the others. The rest of us cringe because a. that’s mean and b. 3 of the 4 kids in this group have quarantined the class 3 separate times. And not surprisingly the kids are mean, too. One of them calls my DD “an idiot girl” all the time. Which, I mean, if I had his mom for a role model I’d think girls were idiots, too.
My DD didn’t get to do anything for her birthday because she was quarantined for it (see above). I will begrudge these families until hs graduation and you guys are welcome to judge me for it
Kids are excluded all the time but to invite the entire class except one is so completely inappropriate.
Normally I agree but OP’s son works himself up to the point of crying because this kid is so mean. I don’t think a child should dread his birthday party.
Then don’t have a party or only invite a handful of kids. Excluding one kid is beyond ridiculous. Imagine if that was your child excluded? Kids need to learn empathy more than they need to enjoy a birthday party.
If my kid were so mean to others she made them cry I’d have bigger fish to fry than whether she was invited to a birthday party.
I agree if the child has behavioral issues he cannot control he should absolutely be invited. But if he’s a mean, purposely spiteful kid then the birthday child’s feelings outweigh the mean kid. This is just my opinion and I’m obviously in the minority here which is fine.
But at this age how would you possibly find out this information?
Call the parents and ask if their son has a diagnosis or is just an asshole?
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| Posted 5/6/21 2:13 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17789 total posts
Name:
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Moms - WWYD re bday party
You can't just exclude one child. Even if the kid is horribly mean, two wrongs don't make a right.
But then again, I never had a party inviting the whole class as both kids had a number of friends from different classes.
Message edited 5/6/2021 2:19:29 PM.
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| Posted 5/6/21 2:19 PM |
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
I don't have kids, so I cannot speak from that angle. This post makes me think of something though. When I was in elementary school, I remember I had one birthday party, and I invited everyone except two kids from the class.
One of those kids is now one of my absolute best friends. I still feel guilty about it all of these decades later.
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| Posted 5/6/21 2:24 PM |
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Moms - WWYD re bday party
I don't care how mean a child is, I could never exclude one child from a birthday party. These are 5 and 6 year old children. I am not saying they can't be nasty little brats, but they are babies. Something like that could have lasting effects on a child.
I would definitely scale down the guest list and not invite the entire class.
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| Posted 5/6/21 2:38 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
OP never said the kid was mean to hers. Just that he has behavioral issues that will possibly ruin the party. We don't know why her kid is singling this one kid out. But to even entertain the idea of inviting the whole class minus one kid. Even if he is "just an assshole without a diagnosis". He's in kindergarten. He's 5. Please don't be the kind of assshole ADULT that would even entertain the idea of inviting a whole classroom of kindergarteners and exclude one because it hurts your kid's feelings to have to include everyone. Because the one kid's presence will ruin the world's most perfect kindergarten party full of 18 loud obnoxious 5 year olds instead of 19 of them. Yes I'm sure all the other kids are on their best behavior except for the one. And hope and pray the kids just don't mention the party at school because the invites are being mailed home. Or wait until the adult can perform some kind of sleuth detective work to find out if the kid really has issues beyond his control or is just a little shit before he gets the coveted invitation. I can't believe this is even a post. Created by an adult. And not just the 5 year old hacking into his mom's account trying to get other adults on board with convincing his mom why it's ok to exclude this one kid. It seems so ridiculously insensitive for a parent to even post this. Even by LIF standards. Lots of other parents on this board with kids with behavioral issues that I'm sure are heartbroken by this post that would exclude their child from a class activity because of their issues.
OP, your son will go on to forget his picture perfect kindergarten party. But this kid will never forget being the only kid excluded from the class party. On his first real schooling experience. Even if the invitations are mailed out secretly to spare his feelings.
Message edited 5/6/2021 2:59:29 PM.
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| Posted 5/6/21 2:50 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Agree with the previous two posters. This is one of the questions where it’s black and white, no gray area. You don’t single out 1 kid. Then we wonder why kids become bullies or @ssholes as adults.
All kids can be little sh!ts, especially at 5 or 6. No one has perfect little angels.
Message edited 5/6/2021 2:56:34 PM.
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| Posted 5/6/21 2:56 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Moms - WWYD re bday party
Ok fine, yes, it would be mean to exclude one kid. You guys aren’t wrong.
I would just hate for a kid to dread his birthday party especially since he obviously didn’t have a party last year and was looking at it from that standpoint.
I do think the idea of inviting only a few kids is a good one.
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| Posted 5/6/21 3:04 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by Sash
Agree with the previous two posters. This is one of the questions where it’s black and white, no gray area. You don’t single out 1 kid. Then we wonder why kids become bullies or @ssholes as adults.
All kids can be little sh!ts, especially at 5 or 6. No one has perfect little angels.
Thank you. Everyone talks about the assshole parent making the assshole kid. Well, being the adult that would possibly entertain leaving out ONE 5 year old at a party makes you the assshole parent with the assshole kid. Sorry, if it's unpleasant, but those are facts. I would tell my child he doesn't get to cry his way out of doing the right thing because the presence of the one kid will ruin his party experience. Not sure why this even warranted a wwyd post except to make other parents feel bad about having kids with issues that don't fit into the picture perfect idealic landscape of this party.
Message edited 5/6/2021 3:24:03 PM.
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| Posted 5/6/21 3:12 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by Katareen
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by LuckyStar
Granted, my opinion might be colored by the fact that my kid’s class is full of little aholes with big ahole parents.
SAME! I'm trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t.
I am also jaded because I have previous experience with my older son...it always seems like the kids who require the most supervision have parents who are huge fans of the drop and run. Party = free babysitting. Then DH or I spend the entire party following the kid around making sure they don't hurt themselves or someone else. One year, a kid told me he didn't like fondant and pushed my son's birthday cake onto the floor. In front of my mother. Who spent hours making fondant Fort night figures.
No, some kids are pricks and they usually have prick parents.
Kids in my DD’s class are excluded all the time. There’s a group of moms who stand around talking about sleepovers, trips, birthdays, etc the kids take together in front of all the others. The rest of us cringe because a. that’s mean and b. 3 of the 4 kids in this group have quarantined the class 3 separate times. And not surprisingly the kids are mean, too. One of them calls my DD “an idiot girl” all the time. Which, I mean, if I had his mom for a role model I’d think girls were idiots, too.
My DD didn’t get to do anything for her birthday because she was quarantined for it (see above). I will begrudge these families until hs graduation and you guys are welcome to judge me for it
Kids are excluded all the time but to invite the entire class except one is so completely inappropriate.
Normally I agree but OP’s son works himself up to the point of crying because this kid is so mean. I don’t think a child should dread his birthday party.
Then don’t have a party or only invite a handful of kids. Excluding one kid is beyond ridiculous. Imagine if that was your child excluded? Kids need to learn empathy more than they need to enjoy a birthday party.
If my kid were so mean to others she made them cry I’d have bigger fish to fry than whether she was invited to a birthday party.
I agree if the child has behavioral issues he cannot control he should absolutely be invited. But if he’s a mean, purposely spiteful kid then the birthday child’s feelings outweigh the mean kid. This is just my opinion and I’m obviously in the minority here which is fine.
But at this age how would you possibly find out this information?
Call the parents and ask if their son has a diagnosis or is just an asshole?
No no. Word or mouth is insufficient. How do we know the parents aren't lying just to get their little assshole invited to the class party and faking a medical issue? Remember, the parents of a little assshole might be full-sized asssholes themselves. It must be a copy of a medical record stating without a doubt that these issues are beyond the child's control. Then he is welcome at the party.
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| Posted 5/6/21 3:16 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by MC09
OP never said the kid was mean to hers. Just that he has behavioral issues that will possibly ruin the party. We don't know why her kid is singling this one kid out. But to even entertain the idea of inviting the whole class minus one kid. Even if he is "just an assshole without a diagnosis". He's in kindergarten. He's 5. Please don't be the kind of assshole ADULT that would even entertain the idea of inviting a whole classroom of kindergarteners and exclude one because it hurts your kid's feelings to have to include everyone. Because the one kid's presence will ruin the world's most perfect kindergarten party full of 18 loud obnoxious 5 year olds instead of 19 of them. Yes I'm sure all the other kids are on their best behavior except for the one. And hope and pray the kids just don't mention the party at school because the invites are being mailed home. Or wait until the adult can perform some kind of sleuth detective work to find out if the kid really has issues beyond his control or is just a little shit before he gets the coveted invitation. I can't believe this is even a post. Created by an adult. And not just the 5 year old hacking into his mom's account trying to get other adults on board with convincing his mom why it's ok to exclude this one kid. It seems so ridiculously insensitive for a parent to even post this. Even by LIF standards. Lots of other parents on this board with kids with behavioral issues that I'm sure are heartbroken by this post that would exclude their child from a class activity because of their issues.
OP, your son will go on to forget his picture perfect kindergarten party. But this kid will never forget being the only kid excluded from the class party. On his first real schooling experience. Even if the invitations are mailed out secretly to spare his feelings.
Excuse me. This is a bit over the top. Did you even read what I wrote? Obviously, this hit a nerve for you personally, which was not the intention, but I was just asking for opinions, not to be called an insensitive assho!e adult. If you read what I wrote, which was that I did not think it was the right thing to do and I still do not think it is the right thing to do, but I was simply seeking thoughts on it because I felt a little conflicted. And I explained further why I felt jaded in a subsequent post. If you have never been in this particular situation, its even more so inappropriate for you to be spewing at me.
I did speak with my son and told him either 10 or all. He chose all. Problem solved.
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| Posted 5/6/21 3:23 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by MC09
Posted by Katareen
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by LuckyStar
Granted, my opinion might be colored by the fact that my kid’s class is full of little aholes with big ahole parents.
SAME! I'm trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t.
I am also jaded because I have previous experience with my older son...it always seems like the kids who require the most supervision have parents who are huge fans of the drop and run. Party = free babysitting. Then DH or I spend the entire party following the kid around making sure they don't hurt themselves or someone else. One year, a kid told me he didn't like fondant and pushed my son's birthday cake onto the floor. In front of my mother. Who spent hours making fondant Fort night figures.
No, some kids are pricks and they usually have prick parents.
Kids in my DD’s class are excluded all the time. There’s a group of moms who stand around talking about sleepovers, trips, birthdays, etc the kids take together in front of all the others. The rest of us cringe because a. that’s mean and b. 3 of the 4 kids in this group have quarantined the class 3 separate times. And not surprisingly the kids are mean, too. One of them calls my DD “an idiot girl” all the time. Which, I mean, if I had his mom for a role model I’d think girls were idiots, too.
My DD didn’t get to do anything for her birthday because she was quarantined for it (see above). I will begrudge these families until hs graduation and you guys are welcome to judge me for it
Kids are excluded all the time but to invite the entire class except one is so completely inappropriate.
Normally I agree but OP’s son works himself up to the point of crying because this kid is so mean. I don’t think a child should dread his birthday party.
Then don’t have a party or only invite a handful of kids. Excluding one kid is beyond ridiculous. Imagine if that was your child excluded? Kids need to learn empathy more than they need to enjoy a birthday party.
If my kid were so mean to others she made them cry I’d have bigger fish to fry than whether she was invited to a birthday party.
I agree if the child has behavioral issues he cannot control he should absolutely be invited. But if he’s a mean, purposely spiteful kid then the birthday child’s feelings outweigh the mean kid. This is just my opinion and I’m obviously in the minority here which is fine.
But at this age how would you possibly find out this information?
Call the parents and ask if their son has a diagnosis or is just an asshole?
No no. Word or mouth is insufficient. How do we know the parents aren't lying just to get their little assshole invited to the class party and faking a medical issue? Remember, the parents of a little assshole might be full-sized asssholes themselves. It must be a copy of a medical record stating without a doubt that these issues are beyond the child's control. Then he is welcome at the party.
 That is such a horrible, gross and completely false interpretation of my post. You are at a whole other level.
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| Posted 5/6/21 3:27 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4430 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by MC09
Posted by Katareen
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by LuckyStar
Granted, my opinion might be colored by the fact that my kid’s class is full of little aholes with big ahole parents.
SAME! I'm trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t.
I am also jaded because I have previous experience with my older son...it always seems like the kids who require the most supervision have parents who are huge fans of the drop and run. Party = free babysitting. Then DH or I spend the entire party following the kid around making sure they don't hurt themselves or someone else. One year, a kid told me he didn't like fondant and pushed my son's birthday cake onto the floor. In front of my mother. Who spent hours making fondant Fort night figures.
No, some kids are pricks and they usually have prick parents.
Kids in my DD’s class are excluded all the time. There’s a group of moms who stand around talking about sleepovers, trips, birthdays, etc the kids take together in front of all the others. The rest of us cringe because a. that’s mean and b. 3 of the 4 kids in this group have quarantined the class 3 separate times. And not surprisingly the kids are mean, too. One of them calls my DD “an idiot girl” all the time. Which, I mean, if I had his mom for a role model I’d think girls were idiots, too.
My DD didn’t get to do anything for her birthday because she was quarantined for it (see above). I will begrudge these families until hs graduation and you guys are welcome to judge me for it
Kids are excluded all the time but to invite the entire class except one is so completely inappropriate.
Normally I agree but OP’s son works himself up to the point of crying because this kid is so mean. I don’t think a child should dread his birthday party.
Then don’t have a party or only invite a handful of kids. Excluding one kid is beyond ridiculous. Imagine if that was your child excluded? Kids need to learn empathy more than they need to enjoy a birthday party.
If my kid were so mean to others she made them cry I’d have bigger fish to fry than whether she was invited to a birthday party.
I agree if the child has behavioral issues he cannot control he should absolutely be invited. But if he’s a mean, purposely spiteful kid then the birthday child’s feelings outweigh the mean kid. This is just my opinion and I’m obviously in the minority here which is fine.
But at this age how would you possibly find out this information?
Call the parents and ask if their son has a diagnosis or is just an asshole?
No no. Word or mouth is insufficient. How do we know the parents aren't lying just to get their little assshole invited to the class party and faking a medical issue? Remember, the parents of a little assshole might be full-sized asssholes
themselves. It must be a copy of a medical record stating without a doubt that these issues are beyond the child's control. Then he is welcome at the party.
Are you kidding me with this ********?? People wonder why the world is as ****** up as it is, why inclusion and diversity is still a novel idea to some....well here you go. This is exactly why.
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| Posted 5/6/21 3:33 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by MC09
OP never said the kid was mean to hers. Just that he has behavioral issues that will possibly ruin the party. We don't know why her kid is singling this one kid out. But to even entertain the idea of inviting the whole class minus one kid. Even if he is "just an assshole without a diagnosis". He's in kindergarten. He's 5. Please don't be the kind of assshole ADULT that would even entertain the idea of inviting a whole classroom of kindergarteners and exclude one because it hurts your kid's feelings to have to include everyone. Because the one kid's presence will ruin the world's most perfect kindergarten party full of 18 loud obnoxious 5 year olds instead of 19 of them. Yes I'm sure all the other kids are on their best behavior except for the one. And hope and pray the kids just don't mention the party at school because the invites are being mailed home. Or wait until the adult can perform some kind of sleuth detective work to find out if the kid really has issues beyond his control or is just a little shit before he gets the coveted invitation. I can't believe this is even a post. Created by an adult. And not just the 5 year old hacking into his mom's account trying to get other adults on board with convincing his mom why it's ok to exclude this one kid. It seems so ridiculously insensitive for a parent to even post this. Even by LIF standards. Lots of other parents on this board with kids with behavioral issues that I'm sure are heartbroken by this post that would exclude their child from a class activity because of their issues.
OP, your son will go on to forget his picture perfect kindergarten party. But this kid will never forget being the only kid excluded from the class party. On his first real schooling experience. Even if the invitations are mailed out secretly to spare his feelings.
Excuse me. This is a bit over the top. Did you even read what I wrote? Obviously, this hit a nerve for you personally, which was not the intention, but I was just asking for opinions, not to be called an insensitive assho!e adult. If you read what I wrote, which was that I did not think it was the right thing to do and I still do not think it is the right thing to do, but I was simply seeking thoughts on it because I felt a little conflicted. And I explained further why I felt jaded in a subsequent post. If you have never been in this particular situation, its even more so inappropriate for you to be spewing at me.
I did speak with my son and told him either 10 or all. He chose all. Problem solved.
You stated that the presence of this one kid stresses your son out so you're not sure what to do because it isn't fair to your son. You mentioned sending out invites and hoping it's not talked about, but that you obviously can't controp what is said. That implies you were at least somewhat considering it to appease your son, but unsure ultimately of what to do. Then you went on to say you're trying to figure out if he's TRULY a behavioral kid or if he's just a shit. Obviously a whole classroom of kids at a party is going to be chaotic with the running and screaming, but you're making it out to be like this one kid is the sole problem. You don't see how your words are over the top hurtful and insensitive to other parents?
I'm glad your son decided to do the right thing.
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| Posted 5/6/21 3:34 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by KarenK122
Posted by MC09
Posted by Katareen
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by lululu
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by LuckyStar
Granted, my opinion might be colored by the fact that my kid’s class is full of little aholes with big ahole parents.
SAME! I'm trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t.
I am also jaded because I have previous experience with my older son...it always seems like the kids who require the most supervision have parents who are huge fans of the drop and run. Party = free babysitting. Then DH or I spend the entire party following the kid around making sure they don't hurt themselves or someone else. One year, a kid told me he didn't like fondant and pushed my son's birthday cake onto the floor. In front of my mother. Who spent hours making fondant Fort night figures.
No, some kids are pricks and they usually have prick parents.
Kids in my DD’s class are excluded all the time. There’s a group of moms who stand around talking about sleepovers, trips, birthdays, etc the kids take together in front of all the others. The rest of us cringe because a. that’s mean and b. 3 of the 4 kids in this group have quarantined the class 3 separate times. And not surprisingly the kids are mean, too. One of them calls my DD “an idiot girl” all the time. Which, I mean, if I had his mom for a role model I’d think girls were idiots, too.
My DD didn’t get to do anything for her birthday because she was quarantined for it (see above). I will begrudge these families until hs graduation and you guys are welcome to judge me for it
Kids are excluded all the time but to invite the entire class except one is so completely inappropriate.
Normally I agree but OP’s son works himself up to the point of crying because this kid is so mean. I don’t think a child should dread his birthday party.
Then don’t have a party or only invite a handful of kids. Excluding one kid is beyond ridiculous. Imagine if that was your child excluded? Kids need to learn empathy more than they need to enjoy a birthday party.
If my kid were so mean to others she made them cry I’d have bigger fish to fry than whether she was invited to a birthday party.
I agree if the child has behavioral issues he cannot control he should absolutely be invited. But if he’s a mean, purposely spiteful kid then the birthday child’s feelings outweigh the mean kid. This is just my opinion and I’m obviously in the minority here which is fine.
But at this age how would you possibly find out this information?
Call the parents and ask if their son has a diagnosis or is just an asshole?
No no. Word or mouth is insufficient. How do we know the parents aren't lying just to get their little assshole invited to the class party and faking a medical issue? Remember, the parents of a little assshole might be full-sized asssholes
themselves. It must be a copy of a medical record stating without a doubt that these issues are beyond the child's control. Then he is welcome at the party.
Are you kidding me with this ********?? People wonder why the world is as ****** up as it is, why inclusion and diversity is still a novel idea to some....well here you go. This is exactly why.
What part of inclusion covers posts like these where an adult states a child with possible behavioral issues might be the only one excluded from a class party and that the parent is "trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t."?
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| Posted 5/6/21 3:41 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by LuckyStar
Granted, my opinion might be colored by the fact that my kid’s class is full of little aholes with big ahole parents.
SAME! I'm trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t.
Since you think my response is a gross exaggeration. By the way he's 5. If he is truly a behavioral kid he may not even have a diagnosis yet. He might just seem like a shit.
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| Posted 5/6/21 3:47 PM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1063 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by MC09
No no. Word or mouth is insufficient. How do we know the parents aren't lying just to get their little assshole invited to the class party and faking a medical issue? Remember, the parents of a little assshole might be full-sized asssholes
themselves. It must be a copy of a medical record stating without a doubt that these issues are beyond the child's control. Then he is welcome at the party.
Are you kidding me with this ********?? People wonder why the world is as ****** up as it is, why inclusion and diversity is still a novel idea to some....well here you go. This is exactly why.
What part of inclusion covers posts like these where an adult states a child with possible behavioral issues might be the only one excluded from a class party and that the parent is "trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t."?
I think people are now going overboard. I know it's difficult sometimes to interpret sarcasm in print, but I think the post was meant to be a joke. At least that's how I read it.
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| Posted 5/6/21 3:47 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by nycbuslady
Posted by MC09
No no. Word or mouth is insufficient. How do we know the parents aren't lying just to get their little assshole invited to the class party and faking a medical issue? Remember, the parents of a little assshole might be full-sized asssholes
themselves. It must be a copy of a medical record stating without a doubt that these issues are beyond the child's control. Then he is welcome at the party.
Are you kidding me with this ********?? People wonder why the world is as ****** up as it is, why inclusion and diversity is still a novel idea to some....well here you go. This is exactly why.
What part of inclusion covers posts like these where an adult states a child with possible behavioral issues might be the only one excluded from a class party and that the parent is "trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t."?
I think people are now going overboard. I know it's difficult sometimes to interpret sarcasm in print, but I think the post was meant to be a joke. At least that's how I read it.
It was exaggerated sarcasm based on other replies.
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| Posted 5/6/21 3:55 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by nycbuslady
Posted by MC09
No no. Word or mouth is insufficient. How do we know the parents aren't lying just to get their little assshole invited to the class party and faking a medical issue? Remember, the parents of a little assshole might be full-sized asssholes
themselves. It must be a copy of a medical record stating without a doubt that these issues are beyond the child's control. Then he is welcome at the party.
Are you kidding me with this ********?? People wonder why the world is as ****** up as it is, why inclusion and diversity is still a novel idea to some....well here you go. This is exactly why.
What part of inclusion covers posts like these where an adult states a child with possible behavioral issues might be the only one excluded from a class party and that the parent is "trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t."?
I think people are now going overboard. I know it's difficult sometimes to interpret sarcasm in print, but I think the post was meant to be a joke. At least that's how I read it.
Thank you! Trust me, I am not doing any "sleuth" work to discover the answer. Everyone's invited. End of story.
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| Posted 5/6/21 4:02 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4430 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Moms - WWYD re bday party
Posted by nycbuslady
Posted by MC09
No no. Word or mouth is insufficient. How do we know the parents aren't lying just to get their little assshole invited to the class party and faking a medical issue? Remember, the parents of a little assshole might be full-sized asssholes
themselves. It must be a copy of a medical record stating without a doubt that these issues are beyond the child's control. Then he is welcome at the party.
Are you kidding me with this ********?? People wonder why the world is as ****** up as it is, why inclusion and diversity is still a novel idea to some....well here you go. This is exactly why.
What part of inclusion covers posts like these where an adult states a child with possible behavioral issues might be the only one excluded from a class party and that the parent is "trying to figure out if he's truly a behavioral kid or if he's just a sh!t."?
I think people are now going overboard. I know it's difficult sometimes to interpret sarcasm in print, but I think the post was meant to be a joke. At least that's how I read it.
Part of being a good responsible adult is knowing that words matter. If the comment was sarcastic which I do not think it was, it was in poor taste.
The point is that you can not exclude one person if you are inviting a whole class. You just can't. If people can not see that then there is nothing, I or most of the people on this thread can say. Invite a select group, invite them all, ask the parents to stay. There are numerous ways to resolve the situation without teaching kindergarten children it is ok to disclude. Teach them the ways to handle themselves in situations they might not like and what is morally the right thing to do. (to the OP, totally not saying any of this to you. I applaud you for asking for advice).
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| Posted 5/6/21 4:03 PM |
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