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Annoying family issue...WWYD

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FirstMate
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

Posted by KGools

Posted by FirstMate

Posted by Dolphinsbaby

None of this is OK to me... esp the stripping your toddler naked part. I honestly think that you are making excuses for her mom just as much as her mom is making excuses for her which I understand because it's your brother fiance and you really like her.



You are not wrong. This is a very good point. The mom is one of the best people I know. She is a free spirit, non-judgmental, compassionate, open minded, smart, helpful, kind hearted...I really love talking to her and being around her. We all do. I guess in my mind I'm hoping she rubs off her good qualities on her daughter. Her one downfall is she is a lousy parent as far as discipling goes.

Posted 12/19/19 7:49 AM
 
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StaceyWill
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

Posted by FirstMate

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by StaceyWill

Posted by SusiBee

I'm curious, what does your brother think about his future step-daughter ?
Does he think she has issues ? Does he think that the mom is just ignoring the issues or is totally oblivious to the psychopath her daughter is ?



I am curious about this too. Does your brother get along with the girl?



Yes curious too.
I don't think I'd marry someone with a kid like that to be honest. I don't care how much I loved them.
I would fear she'd kill us in our sleep one night or set the house on fire.
It happens.



Also, she is a completely different kid when her mom is around. She is much more tolerable and better behaved when she isn't around. While my brother will immediately come down with a punishment of sorts, her mom is more of a "let's talk it out and discuss your feelings and why you did that" type, which is meaningless. My brother constantly marvels at what a better kid she is when the mom isn't around.



This part really floored me. I was thinking that this kid was just a bad seed (sorry), but I think she may be angry at the mom?? Or is just craving that discipline/attention from her.

OR - she really is a demon and has everyone fooled when her mom isn't around. Chat Icon

Posted 12/19/19 1:53 PM
 

Straightarrow
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

Posted by Katareen

Idk...she’s only 9 and had a tough life. I think she is just totally desperate for attention.

I know you like her mom but clearly nobody is watching her or paying attention to what she’s doing. Who is allowing her access to horror movies or telling her about Slenderman? Who takes a 9yo to the beach and ignores them for long enough that she can consume 16 rolls??



I tend to agree with this.

This also hurts my heart a little. My SO's son can be like this. He also has a plethora of issues and goes to a therapeutic school. My son is a year older so on our weekends he does spend time with typical kids his own age, but I know to some degree they are a little pushed to do so.

I think this is a little on the mom, the kid is a kid. The mom needs to start stepping up and trying to figure out what's going on OR start punishing her and making her accountable for actions. I know you say that she can handle horror movies, but if she is using it to scare other kids, she can't

Posted 12/19/19 4:57 PM
 

nycgirl
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

This kid seriously needs to see a psychologist. Yesterday. Her mom too. Together. Sorry.

Posted 12/19/19 11:10 PM
 

TTCwithHope
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M

Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

Regardless of the reason for this girls behavior, you can’t put your kids lives in danger by being around her. Even if that fractures your relationship with your brother. I’m sorry to hear about this, the girl is clearly in pain but you have to protect your own kids.

Posted 12/20/19 6:31 AM
 

PurpleC
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

They all need family counseling from what it sounds like. The daughter needs it alone but everyone needs to be on the same page about disciplining her.
I understand the situation that you are in but my nephew is not as bad yet. He is 8 weeks older than my 5 year old son. He gets no attention, is constantly throwing things and breaking things and everyone ignores him. I had him over for a party and he destroyed my daughters room. I never saw it so bad. He took all her toys out, her bins and threw them on the floor, the table in her room was pushed over it was horrible!! If he wants a toy from one of my kids, I have 3 an almost 8 year old boy and my daughter is 6, he just grabs it from them. He constantly just screams and yells. He also has a brother whom is extremely special needs with a severe genetic disorder so I feel bad for him. We go there for thanksgiving and every time we leave we swear we will never go there again. We went away on vacation and he brought not one toy or anything to distract him. I know these things are nothing compared to what you are going through but I know what its like to not want to be around someone close to you. My SIL lives 30 min away so we only see them for parties and holidays. They are coming over on Sunday and Im locking up some of the rooms and hiding some big toys. He is also obsessed with Mike Myers. He watches scary movies and my kids don't. We are just different parents then they are.
I don't think there is any getting through to the mom or your brother. Just try and be there for her but also keep you distance if possible.

Posted 12/20/19 10:15 PM
 

MC09
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

This is more than an annoying family issue. This is an extremely serious situation. Your kids are your first priority above everyone else including your brother, his fiance, and his soon to be step demon. I'm sorry, but you lost me at drowning game. I would've told my brother she can't be around my kids anymore after she almost DROWNED your kid. WTF!!! Thank God your husband saw what was going on and jumped in. I fear what would've happened to your child if he hadn't been watching. And I'd be so upset at your brother for not taking this more seriously and trying to throw your kid under the bus to minimize this girl's creepy and inappropriate behavior. Doesn't sound like your kid is the one playing the drowning game, so your brother and his wife need to get a grip on that kid before she kills someone. She sounds like the plot of a horror movie. Honestly if I was in your brother's shoes there's no way I can marry someone who is so passive about their kid's psychotic behavior. I'd be afraid to sleep at night. This kid needs some hardcore therapy, but your brother and her mom are denying her that help by chalking her issues up to "uniqueness" and "creativity". I'm sorry what's creative about this girl? The method which she uses to kill the neighborhood pets? That'd be the last time she's around my kid. And wtf with the stripping a toddler naked?!? She's 9! She's old enough to know how wrong that is. The toddler is helpless in that situation and YOU'RE his only defense against this creep. Sorry, but I'd be too creeped out to think what inappropriate fuked up abusive things she might be doing to the toddler when no one was looking and the toddler can't communicate it to you. This girl is clearly unstable and sounds like she's capable of anything including sexual abuse. I would not be comfortable having her in my home or around my kids and your brother is just going to have to understand and accept that. Kids aren't mature enough to handle horror movies and stories like slenderman. That's how you get situations like those girls who lured their friend into the woods and stabbed her 50,000 times to summon slenderman. It's inappropriate. It's not meant for children no matter how mature their parent thinks they are. They let her watch that stuff then can't handle her creepiness. I'm surprised she even has the one friend. They're seriously going to act offended when they're clearly downplaying this girl's psychotic issues?? If they do nothing there's a good chance she'll grow up to be a serial killer, and that's on them. Or she might just kill them both in their sleep or set the house on fire one night. Good luck to your brother. I'd want no part of it.

I'm curious what do her mom and your brother say when she strips the toddler? Do they punish her?? Have they not taught her boundaries and to keep her hands off others' bodies??

Message edited 12/21/2019 1:09:34 PM.

Posted 12/21/19 11:21 AM
 

FirstMate
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

Posted by MC09

This is more than an annoying family issue. This is an extremely serious situation. Your kids are your first priority above everyone else including your brother, his fiance, and his soon to be step demon. I'm sorry, but you lost me at drowning game. I would've told my brother she can't be around my kids anymore after she almost DROWNED your kid. WTF!!! Thank God your husband saw what was going on and jumped in. I fear what would've happened to your child if he hadn't been watching. And I'd be so upset at your brother for not taking this more seriously and trying to throw your kid under the bus to minimize this girl's creepy and inappropriate behavior. Doesn't sound like your kid is the one playing the drowning game, so your brother and his wife need to get a grip on that kid before she kills someone. She sounds like the plot of a horror movie. Honestly if I was in your brother's shoes there's no way I can marry someone who is so passive about their kid's psychotic behavior. I'd be afraid to sleep at night. This kid needs some hardcore therapy, but your brother and her mom are denying her that help by chalking her issues up to "uniqueness" and "creativity". I'm sorry what's creative about this girl? The method which she uses to kill the neighborhood pets? That'd be the last time she's around my kid. And wtf with the stripping a toddler naked?!? She's 9! She's old enough to know how wrong that is. The toddler is helpless in that situation and YOU'RE his only defense against this creep. Sorry, but I'd be too creeped out to think what inappropriate fuked up abusive things she might be doing to the toddler when no one was looking and the toddler can't communicate it to you. This girl is clearly unstable and sounds like she's capable of anything including sexual abuse. I would not be comfortable having her in my home or around my kids and your brother is just going to have to understand and accept that. Kids aren't mature enough to handle horror movies and stories like slenderman. That's how you get situations like those girls who lured their friend into the woods and stabbed her 50,000 times to summon slenderman. It's inappropriate. It's not meant for children no matter how mature their parent thinks they are. They let her watch that stuff then can't handle her creepiness. I'm surprised she even has the one friend. They're seriously going to act offended when they're clearly downplaying this girl's psychotic issues?? If they do nothing there's a good chance she'll grow up to be a serial killer, and that's on them. Or she might just kill them both in their sleep or set the house on fire one night. Good luck to your brother. I'd want no part of it.

I'm curious what do her mom and your brother say when she strips the toddler? Do they punish her?? Have they not taught her boundaries and to keep her hands off others' bodies??



Honestly, I have never thought about any of that. So with the stripping thing, my toddler went through this lovely phase where he used to strip on his own all the time. He would be in a playroom at a party and the next thing we would know is all the kids would come screaming because my son decided he needed to be naked. Or I would find him butt naked playing in the backyard. Do not ask me where that came from; he just loved being naked. Luckily, that phase has now passed. Chat Icon But, while he was in that phase, several kids found it funny and encouraged him to do it. She was one of them. But now that he is over the phase, she has to really encourage it or she may even help him. I'm not sure. I never thought of it as a sexual thing though because of his history. When she did it most recently, her mother did reprimand her and told her she was inappropriate. She was clearly very annoyed at her daughter.

Reading all of this has made me realize we are too lax. Ugh, I just hate being in this situation. I know my brother would never ever let anything happen to my kids but he's not always paying attention and she is incredibly sneaky. This whole thing is just ridiculous. Thanks for your input, everyone.

Posted 12/23/19 2:25 PM
 

LuckyStar
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

Posted by FirstMate

Honestly, I have never thought about any of that. So with the stripping thing, my toddler went through this lovely phase where he used to strip on his own all the time. He would be in a playroom at a party and the next thing we would know is all the kids would come screaming because my son decided he needed to be naked. Or I would find him butt naked playing in the backyard. Do not ask me where that came from; he just loved being naked. Luckily, that phase has now passed. Chat Icon But, while he was in that phase, several kids found it funny and encouraged him to do it. She was one of them. But now that he is over the phase, she has to really encourage it or she may even help him. I'm not sure. I never thought of it as a sexual thing though because of his history. When she did it most recently, her mother did reprimand her and told her she was inappropriate. She was clearly very annoyed at her daughter.

Reading all of this has made me realize we are too lax. Ugh, I just hate being in this situation. I know my brother would never ever let anything happen to my kids but he's not always paying attention and she is incredibly sneaky. This whole thing is just ridiculous. Thanks for your input, everyone.



So I feel like if a toddler is left alone long enough to be stripped down, he’s probably being left alone too long. Can a toddler even undress themselves completely without help?

IMO, leaving your kids alone with this girl for more than a minute would be out of the question. A minute might even be too long. I wouldn’t leave him alone with your brother, either if he “isn’t always paying attention,” which TBH, is utterly insane given that he has FOUR children in his care, one of whom is a lunatic and another of whom is someone else’s TODDLER.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and honestly, I feel bad for the girl who obviously has a myriad of issues that need to be addressed.

Posted 12/23/19 4:28 PM
 

MC09
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

How did she even find out about slender man? Who taught her that stuff? Why do they let her watch that kind of inappropriate stuff? It honestly sounds like they don't pay much attention to her and let her do whatever she wants... eating 2 packages of rolls when no one was looking?? That's a whole lot of not looking. How is that even humanly possible for an adult let alone a child? In the time it took her to eat all that bread nobody noticed what she was doing and stopped her? Why was she in the pool alone with your son long enough to try to drown him? Bloody Mary rituals? Showing your kids horror videos? Stripping toddlers? Who's watching this girl?? Where are the adults? If everybody's on alert of her creepy behavior why is she having so much unsupervised time around your kids? She's traumatizing them.

If *everyone* is saying these things about her to her parents how can *everyone* be wrong??

I feel for you and I'm sorry you're going through this. Your kids have to come first so they don't end up on the news. I hope your brother and his fiance start taking this seriously and get this child help before it's too late. She's obviously craving attention and discipline that she isn't receiving.

Posted 12/24/19 3:44 AM
 

FirstMate
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

I don't want anything misconstrued like nobody is supervising. That is 100% not the case. I have a playroom in my house right off of my kitchen that is completely child proof so adults are not always physically in there babysitting. My toddlers are 3 and 4 so not baby, babies. (And yes...the one way my lttlle guy is gifted is that he could strip himself at any early age-can't count to 10 to save his life but he can whip off a button up shirt like Magic Mike!) We check in on them but not necessarily sitting in there. Same with my den. My kitchen opens up to my den and we can see them, but we aren't necessarily in the room. As far as the pool, there were plenty of adults standing around and in the pool. We just didn't initially realize what they were doing; it looked like they were just playing. Like I said, this kid is very sneaky. She can be doing something right in front of you and you not realize it.

I just found out my brother's job has him scheduled for weekends for the foreseeable future so we won't be seeing much of them. It's a Christmas Miracle!

Posted 12/24/19 9:43 AM
 

FirstMate
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

And as for the horror movie stuff...when she was little she discovered Goosebumps. She loved it. Then from there it progressed to liking creepy things (like a kids version...nothing crazy) on You Tube. My brother is a horror movie buff so they let her see some of the very benign stuff. How she learned about Bloody Mary, Slenderman and all of that type of stuff...IDK.

Posted 12/24/19 9:48 AM
 

Funkybutt
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

Posted by FirstMate

I just found out my brother's job has him scheduled for weekends for the foreseeable future so we won't be seeing much of them. It's a Christmas Miracle!



Yay - I'm glad you don't have to worry about it for a while!

Posted 12/25/19 2:07 PM
 

lululu
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

I have a friend who’s daughter sounds similar to this child. The parents are totally in denial about her behavior. They truly think it’s just because she is gifted and special. The dad is an off the charts genius and he is as strange as they come. So I assume that’s where she gets it. The grandmother is also mentally ill. What do you know about the father? Was he strange also? This kid actually picked my infant up out of her crib and slammed her onto the ground when she was 5. She could have killed her. She did this right after pinning my other daughter on the ground with one foot and kicking her with the other. I had two babysitters refuse to have her in the house because they were afraid of her behavior. I would not have her over either after the incident above. She has killed frogs in her backyard and cut them open to see their insides and the mom chalks it up to her being curious about science. She too is very manipulative. I have to say she’s gotten a little better since she’s gotten older but it could also be that I don’t see her as much anymore. I believe she hasn’t the potential to be a true sociopath when she grows up. Ironically people who don’t know the girl as well are critical of me because they think that it’s mean to speak about a child like this but frankly after a child comes close to killing your baby I think you can say whatever you want.

As for advices e I would just make sure you watch your children like a hawk when you are around her. Maybe even hire a mother’s helper to be around the younger ones so you don’t have to constantly keep an eye on them. You can’t change her l, or your brother and his fiancés view of her.

Message edited 12/26/2019 7:28:06 PM.

Posted 12/26/19 7:27 PM
 

MC09
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

Posted by FirstMate

I don't want anything misconstrued like nobody is supervising. That is 100% not the case. I have a playroom in my house right off of my kitchen that is completely child proof so adults are not always physically in there babysitting. My toddlers are 3 and 4 so not baby, babies. (And yes...the one way my lttlle guy is gifted is that he could strip himself at any early age-can't count to 10 to save his life but he can whip off a button up shirt like Magic Mike!) We check in on them but not necessarily sitting in there. Same with my den. My kitchen opens up to my den and we can see them, but we aren't necessarily in the room. As far as the pool, there were plenty of adults standing around and in the pool. We just didn't initially realize what they were doing; it looked like they were just playing. Like I said, this kid is very sneaky. She can be doing something right in front of you and you not realize it.

I just found out my brother's job has him scheduled for weekends for the foreseeable future so we won't be seeing much of them. It's a Christmas Miracle!



Sorry, I don't mean to imply you aren't watching them. I know it's hard enough keeping an eye on all of them when kids are notorious for getting into trouble in the blink of an eye as it is, let alone throwing a destructive one into the mix. I know it must be a tough situation to be in. It's interesting how she acts like a different kid when her mom isn't around.

For your kids' safety, I'm glad to hear she won't be around as much going forward. Your prayers have been answered!

Message edited 12/27/2019 9:20:11 PM.

Posted 12/27/19 9:19 PM
 

Kathy042806
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD

Posted by NervousNell

Let me just tell you something. If this psychopath ever tried to drown my child in a pool that would be the last time that child was ever around mine.
I don't give a fuq who she was, who I offended, how great and sweet her mom was, how close I was to my brother.
It would have taken all my strength not to beat the ever loving piss out of this kid. I'm not even kidding.
This kid needs help or she's going to end up on the news.
And if they don't want to address it fine, but they would never be welcome in my home or around my child again. Take your devil's spawn elsewhere.
This seriously sounds like a Lifetime movie.
I'm actually seeing red just thinking about it.
It's a pool. It's water. Does anyone have ANY idea how dangerous that is? What if your DH wasn't paying attention at that moment? My anxiety is through the roof just thinking about it.
I'm floored by this.
Your kids need to come first. Regardless of who you offend.




This!!

Posted 1/15/20 4:41 PM
 
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