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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7983 total posts
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Re: Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by hmm
you give the same as any wedding
Really? How do you know this (not being snarky)? I can't imagine millionaires wanting people to give them cash. That just seems weird. Plus, since the "cover your plate" thing is a NY thing, what if the plate costs 1,000?
Because I dont care how much they make I know what I could afford. There is NO such thing in NY, no rule that states attendees must cover their plate, that IMO BS. People say that because people are afraid of judgement.
If they have the kind of money as we are being told and they have common sense they would also know and understand not every one can afford a gift of $1000. Many people with that kind of money usually give options for a donation to worthy causes.
If I was going to your wedding and giving you a gift of $250, then they would get the same gift, their wealth should not come in play.
We as a society worry too way much what others think, and "what" is the right amount to give as gifts, tips etc. A gift a tip is gesture.
When I give a gift. I sometimes question myself about giving more, less etc. In the end I give what I want and can. My presence is what is important as is the thought.
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Posted 5/13/18 10:14 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
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Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
Ask your SiL what they are giving or get something off the registry. If not cash in your usual denomination seems fine as maybe that will be his money since she doesn’t need it.
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| Posted 5/13/18 10:29 PM |
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jamnmore
LIF Adult
Member since 6/16 989 total posts
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Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
Most wealthy people are people just like you and I. Is she flashy in her day to day life? Prior to the wedding, did you know she is as weathy as everyone is assuming? I have many friends who are worth 100's of millions. They are normal people with normal lives. They don't expect more at a wedding because they are worth more. Give what you can afford, go and have fun. They do not want you to bankrupt yourself to attend their event.
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| Posted 5/14/18 10:49 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7789 total posts
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Re: Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
I want some details about the wedding itself! Where is it, what is she wearing, etc? I love fancy weddings!
I would either give my usual gift (do you remember what they gave you and your DH?) or, if they have a registry, something nice off of that.
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| Posted 5/14/18 2:15 PM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
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Re: Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
Posted by FirstMate
I want some details about the wedding itself! Where is it, what is she wearing, etc? I love fancy weddings!
I would either give my usual gift (do you remember what they gave you and your DH?) or, if they have a registry, something nice off of that.
Same. I wouldn't even TRY to cover my plate or keep up with the Joneses.
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| Posted 5/14/18 2:27 PM |
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tray831
Dee-licious!
Member since 3/06 5355 total posts
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His Baby
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Re: Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
That really is so exciting. I don't have much advice on what to give. Maybe a GC to a very high-end restaurant?
Or give money with what you are most comfortable with. I am sure you wouldn't be the only ones giving money if that is what you decide to do. Money is still money whether its an item, cash or a GC. You just have to decide in what form they should get it in. I personally think it doesn't matter.
But can you give us any details? Where is this soiree being held?? Do you know where the honeymoon is?
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| Posted 5/14/18 2:29 PM |
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beachbabe
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/15 731 total posts
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Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
Maybe you can find out where they're staying for their honeymoon and get them a couples massage or dinner. Or even an excursion.
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| Posted 5/14/18 2:45 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
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Phyllis
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Re: Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
I’d give whatever I normally would give depending on who they are to me. Avg wedding gift is $300-$350
Closer to us, the more they get
No you don’t have to cover your plate but it’s what it’s usually judged on in my family and immediate circle. The gift we usually give averages out to covering plate plus a little gift.
So if I’m going to a wedding of a close friend , I give $400-$600 whether the place is $80 pp or $200pp. If you are having a massive showboat wedding, you sure don’t need the gifts.
I’d give my usual amount unless they ask for donations or actual physical gifts.
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| Posted 5/14/18 3:59 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
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Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
These are all good questions! We haven't gotten the invitation yet, just the save the date, which was nicer than any wedding invitation I've ever received. No one remembers where DH's aunt says it is (I didn't speak with her, my FIL and SIL did). It is definitely in the city. The registry is BANANAS. Gifts costing thousands of dollars.
I don't remember how much he gave us, but our wedding wasn't millions of dollars. They weren't together yet when we got married, he came alone.
She is not flashy from what I can tell, I've only met her a couple times. No idea what she's wearing but I can't wait to see. I'm so excited. How often do you get to wear a gown and tux?!
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| Posted 5/14/18 8:54 PM |
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LuckyStar
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Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
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Re: Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
No you don’t have to cover your plate but it’s what it’s usually judged on in my family and immediate circle. The gift we usually give averages out to covering plate plus a little gift.
I am normally of the same mindset, but I don't have $2k to cover our plates. I think the "cover your plate" mentality maxes out at some point 
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| Posted 5/14/18 8:55 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
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Phyllis
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Re: Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
No you don’t have to cover your plate but it’s what it’s usually judged on in my family and immediate circle. The gift we usually give averages out to covering plate plus a little gift.
I am normally of the same mindset, but I don't have $2k to cover our plates. I think the "cover your plate" mentality maxes out at some point
Yea. That’s why is said in this case, I’d go with what I normally would give based on relationship. They obv don’t need to recoup any money here lol
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| Posted 5/14/18 9:44 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
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Re: Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
I'd give a fancy bottle of wine. They can open and enjoy and remember the wedding. Done.
I wouldn't go nuts. They're set.
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| Posted 5/14/18 10:31 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4287 total posts
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Re: Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
You give them what you would normally give to someone like that.
$250 is a nice gift.
NEVER cover your plate. Give what you can.
Or find their registry and give them a gift from there.
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| Posted 5/15/18 1:46 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
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Re: Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
Posted by Loveme
Posted by hmm
you give the same as any wedding
This
I agree with this but I never cover my plate so I don't care I would give my standard amount that I do for all weddings no matter where it's at which is usually $150-$200. (Yes I know people think I am probably cheap but I am cool with that)
if they don't want the money they can always donate it to somewhere.
If the invite states they want donations just do what you would normally give.
Message edited 5/15/2018 1:52:51 PM.
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| Posted 5/15/18 1:50 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
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Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
Covering your plate is such a ridiculous concept to me. You are inviting people to celebrate with you - not charging them to attend.
I would probably give a gift in this situation - I would see what is affordable on the registry.
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| Posted 5/15/18 2:25 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Wedding gift spinoff-since we're on the topic
Posted by JME78
Covering your plate is such a ridiculous concept to me. You are inviting people to celebrate with you - not charging them to attend.
I would probably give a gift in this situation - I would see what is affordable on the registry.
I agree.
I tend to overgive at weddings and other events- mainly because DH is an over giver.
However, we don't ever think, well we have to cover our plates so.....
We just give what we can afford and what we feel is right.
If you expect people to cover their plates you should charge admission at the door!
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| Posted 5/15/18 2:28 PM |
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