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So very sick of the grind.

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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!

Member since 11/06

26792 total posts

Name:
Shawn

Re: So very sick of the grind.

I don't have a "grind", mainly because I don't have to commute very far to work, and my hours are consistent.

I don't "love" LI, and I don't hate it either. It's just convenient at the time to keep the status-quo. I have coworkers that are in other states that just always work from home, so I could easily move to another state and keep my job.

I would love to live in an area where I didn't have to take a (multiple) bridge or tunnel to go anywhere.

Posted 4/27/17 8:26 AM
 
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!

Member since 7/06

27915 total posts

Name:

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by alli3131

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by MaZz

I liked the island when I first moved here, but it's now wearing thin... it's gotten to the point where I don't even bother trying to make friends anymore bc I can't stand most people here and am very ready to leave. I'm a sahm so I can up and leave any time. My parents are retired and ready to follow us wherever the wind takes us... my dh just started a new job which will allow him to work from home. Once he gets his accounts established, we are gone... we figure in a year from now. We didn't care for the areas we looked at in SC, so later this year we're going to check out NC. I think we'll all be much happier once off this island.



I can't stand most people here either but I thought it was just me being a b!tch. Chat Icon
Glad it's not just me! LOL



Everyone is rude and rushing around. You don't realize how NICE people are until you leave the island and go somewhere else. People are actually friendly and engage you in conversation. We were in Boston recently and everywhere we went people were chatty, helpful, and friendly. It was refreshing.



I lived in Boston for years as an adult and outside Boston as a child. Believe me the people are JUST as rude as those here in NY.



Must have caught them on a good day! Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/27/17 8:29 AM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

So very sick of the grind.

I have what people would think is a grind. I commute 2 hrs each way but I'm ok with it. I would NEVER make anywhere close to what I make outside on NYC. Believe me I looked and my company has offices all around the world and I know what we pay in other cites.

I have also lived in 6 different states as a child and as an adult. They all have a grind and all have nasty mean people. Yes there are mean and nice people in every area.

I truly believe schools etc are just excuses. My mother was a teacher and administrator and had no issues with us being in schools in IL, PA, NY and MA. It never once had an impact on us.

If you are unhappy with the grind look to ways to change it. Because no matter where you live the grind of life will always be there it just may take on a new form.

Posted 4/27/17 8:33 AM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by alli3131

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by MaZz

I liked the island when I first moved here, but it's now wearing thin... it's gotten to the point where I don't even bother trying to make friends anymore bc I can't stand most people here and am very ready to leave. I'm a sahm so I can up and leave any time. My parents are retired and ready to follow us wherever the wind takes us... my dh just started a new job which will allow him to work from home. Once he gets his accounts established, we are gone... we figure in a year from now. We didn't care for the areas we looked at in SC, so later this year we're going to check out NC. I think we'll all be much happier once off this island.



I can't stand most people here either but I thought it was just me being a b!tch. Chat Icon
Glad it's not just me! LOL



Everyone is rude and rushing around. You don't realize how NICE people are until you leave the island and go somewhere else. People are actually friendly and engage you in conversation. We were in Boston recently and everywhere we went people were chatty, helpful, and friendly. It was refreshing.



I lived in Boston for years as an adult and outside Boston as a child. Believe me the people are JUST as rude as those here in NY.



Must have caught them on a good day! Chat Icon Chat Icon



The name Massholes is a real thing and was given for a very good reasons!

Posted 4/27/17 8:33 AM
 

Michellec
LIF Infant

Member since 8/05

146 total posts

Name:

Re: So very sick of the grind.

It really makes me laugh how people think that Long Island has the best schools. I have a close family member who works in what everyone thinks is a "top" district. The things that this particular district hides are insane. You never hear about these incidents. Not to mention how they pad grades, pass kids who should not pass, graduate kids who should not graduate, hide their MAJOR drug problems, hide their bullying problems, racial relation problems, etc. The kids in the high school do a lot of illegal stuff, much of it violent. You never hear some of the MANY disgusting things that go on in this district. The kids are mostly awful, the parents are mostly awful, and the administration is compliant. It is really crazy.

Posted 4/27/17 10:02 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54917 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by Michellec

It really makes me laugh how people think that Long Island has the best schools. I have a close family member who works in what everyone thinks is a "top" district. The things that this particular district hides are insane. You never hear about these incidents. Not to mention how they pad grades, pass kids who should not pass, graduate kids who should not graduate, hide their MAJOR drug problems, hide their bullying problems, racial relation problems, etc. The kids in the high school do a lot of illegal stuff, much of it violent. You never hear some of the MANY disgusting things that go on in this district. The kids are mostly awful, the parents are mostly awful, and the administration is compliant. It is really crazy.



Add to that all this assine state testing that causes the teachers to have to teach to a test, rather than focus on the things they need to be teaching. I would love to find a state to live that doesn't have as much focus on that as NY.
Is it different in other sates in terms of this?
I just feel like NY is very bad in terms of it's educational focus.

Posted 4/27/17 10:21 AM
 

Michellec
LIF Infant

Member since 8/05

146 total posts

Name:

Re: So very sick of the grind.

I don't know, but it is very depressing. I got a much better education growing up in the city schools and going to a specialized high school for academics. Long Island high schools are a joke.

Posted 4/27/17 10:37 AM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by Michellec

I don't know, but it is very depressing. I got a much better education growing up in the city schools and going to a specialized high school for academics. Long Island high schools are a joke.



Yes some of the city schools with give you an amazing education but seeing what my sister has to go through to get my nephew those great opportunities is insane. No one should have to apply to go to one of the good schools. At least in Nassau and Suffolk you know the schools when you move there. You don't have to hope you have get accepted to the schools.

Posted 4/27/17 10:42 AM
 

MrsMick
Baby #2 debuts in March 2016!

Member since 9/09

1977 total posts

Name:
Michele

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by Michellec

It really makes me laugh how people think that Long Island has the best schools. I have a close family member who works in what everyone thinks is a "top" district. The things that this particular district hides are insane. You never hear about these incidents. Not to mention how they pad grades, pass kids who should not pass, graduate kids who should not graduate, hide their MAJOR drug problems, hide their bullying problems, racial relation problems, etc. The kids in the high school do a lot of illegal stuff, much of it violent. You never hear some of the MANY disgusting things that go on in this district. The kids are mostly awful, the parents are mostly awful, and the administration is compliant. It is really crazy.



Add to that all this assine state testing that causes the teachers to have to teach to a test, rather than focus on the things they need to be teaching. I would love to find a state to live that doesn't have as much focus on that as NY.
Is it different in other sates in terms of this?
I just feel like NY is very bad in terms of it's educational focus.



I think there are more charter schools down south and in some of the other states. I also realized where my MIL is in SC, a lot of kids are homeschooled.

Posted 4/27/17 10:55 AM
 

Michellec
LIF Infant

Member since 8/05

146 total posts

Name:

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by alli3131



Yes some of the city schools with give you an amazing education but seeing what my sister has to go through to get my nephew those great opportunities is insane. No one should have to apply to go to one of the good schools. At least in Nassau and Suffolk you know the schools when you move there. You don't have to hope you have get accepted to the schools.



That's true. But what I was saying is that you do not really know what you are getting with Long Island schools, but people think that they do. That's what I believe based on what I know, coming from a family of teachers and administrators.

Posted 4/27/17 10:58 AM
 

Sweetlax22
LIF Adult

Member since 5/10

1904 total posts

Name:

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by Michellec

It really makes me laugh how people think that Long Island has the best schools. I have a close family member who works in what everyone thinks is a "top" district. The things that this particular district hides are insane. You never hear about these incidents. Not to mention how they pad grades, pass kids who should not pass, graduate kids who should not graduate, hide their MAJOR drug problems, hide their bullying problems, racial relation problems, etc. The kids in the high school do a lot of illegal stuff, much of it violent. You never hear some of the MANY disgusting things that go on in this district. The kids are mostly awful, the parents are mostly awful, and the administration is compliant. It is really crazy.



Starting a tangent here, but so true....I think some of the "top" districts are just better at hiding stuff.

Posted 4/27/17 11:08 AM
 

shadows
LIF Adult

Member since 1/10

4694 total posts

Name:

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by alli3131

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by alli3131

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by MaZz

I liked the island when I first moved here, but it's now wearing thin... it's gotten to the point where I don't even bother trying to make friends anymore bc I can't stand most people here and am very ready to leave. I'm a sahm so I can up and leave any time. My parents are retired and ready to follow us wherever the wind takes us... my dh just started a new job which will allow him to work from home. Once he gets his accounts established, we are gone... we figure in a year from now. We didn't care for the areas we looked at in SC, so later this year we're going to check out NC. I think we'll all be much happier once off this island.



I can't stand most people here either but I thought it was just me being a b!tch. Chat Icon
Glad it's not just me! LOL



Everyone is rude and rushing around. You don't realize how NICE people are until you leave the island and go somewhere else. People are actually friendly and engage you in conversation. We were in Boston recently and everywhere we went people were chatty, helpful, and friendly. It was refreshing.



I lived in Boston for years as an adult and outside Boston as a child. Believe me the people are JUST as rude as those here in NY.



Must have caught them on a good day! Chat Icon Chat Icon



The name Massholes is a real thing and was given for a very good reasons!



Having lived in NJ, NY and MA my whole life, I think everyone in the northeast sucks. I blame it on the $&@$ weather!

Message edited 4/27/2017 11:21:58 AM.

Posted 4/27/17 11:21 AM
 

MrsDiamondgrlie
Bailey

Member since 5/05

12810 total posts

Name:
D

Re: So very sick of the grind.

DH and I have been counting down the years until we can leave NY

Posted 4/27/17 12:36 PM
 

FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7789 total posts

Name:

Re: So very sick of the grind.

I fantasize about moving to have a better quality of life - meaning slower paced and, what I believe, far less exposure to a cancer causing environment (yes, I know I sound paranoid but there is a reason the oncology residency programs here are the most competitive in the country)- but my "grind" would be far worse anywhere else. All of my family is here and I rely heavily on them with help for my 3 kids. I would seriously be lost without them. Plus I don't want my 3 kids growing up without extended family all around loving on them all the time. And my DH has a pension job so we are going nowhere any time soon. Also, I like being able to expose my kids to the city and all it has to offer, the beaches and the diversity around here.

Posted 4/27/17 12:54 PM
 

springchick
make a wish

Member since 5/08

3566 total posts

Name:
justask

So very sick of the grind.

We moved to Florida and as much as I miss the change of weather been closed to NYC and Family for holidays and celebrations I don't regret our decision. Yes we make less money here but still our quality of life is better. The place we have here we couldn't afford up there even with the higher paycheck. My commute 15-20 min. DH is now 40-45 but it's just hwy traffic not bumper to bumper. We are actually able to afford more vacations / activities here than compare to Our family up there. Our life also more relax as I don't feel the rush I felt up there, i so far lived in 3 different cities in Florida because of dh work but also help us find the different areas of Florida
I would say the down side Is the lack of diversity and closed minded people here. Specially after this election

Message edited 4/27/2017 1:17:53 PM.

Posted 4/27/17 1:16 PM
 

Salason

Member since 6/05

9878 total posts

Name:

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by LuckyStar

A LI bashing post? Week made!

First, let's get one thing very clear here. NY as in the city and LI are two very separate entities. I've heard people on LI say they want to secede from NY. By all means, please do. No one wants you. You're literally NY's d!ck.

The grind is the grind. If you work outside the home, it exists no matter were you live. You may get hit with less traffic and your house may be cheaper (and worth less) but you're still showing up to work every day. You can't blame LI for the grind.

Moving for us is a no brainer, but we're considering going back to the city, so grindier and more expensive. But for us, worth it. You couldn't pay us any amount of money to stay here. We only came here because it was cheaper than Westchester. Obviously, you get what you pay for. We're leaving before DD starts kindergarten. Everyone may think the schools are great, but when I meet the parents of the kids she would go to school with I want to vomit. Narrow-minded, entitled, anti-progressive, uneducated people. That's not what I want her around, what I want her to think of as "normal." It's not normal. It's repulsive.

Also, no one is jealous of living on LI. DH still still tells people he's from Westchester because he's mortified. I correct anyone who refers to me as a LIer. And you know what? Only a LIer would think people would be jealous of them. Thank you for proving my point.



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You sound just like me Chat Icon

Posted 4/27/17 1:22 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9508 total posts

Name:

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by Hofstra26


Yes, I agree. You should love where you live and I don't hate LI (I did grow up here) but there are things that frustrate me about being here. That aside, my point was that LI'ers, in general, seem to think that ANY place outside of LI is worthless garbage. They have the mentality that LI is the mecca of ALL things great, which is fine, everyone is entitled to feel how they want but it simply isn't true. Other nice places with just as many good things exist outside of this tiny island. There are other fantastic schools in this country, other great places to eat and shop, nice weather (depending what you're looking for) and a host of other things that would make one's life happy.



See, I would say by the amount of people on a Long Island site that are complaining about Long Island that loving or even liking living on Long Island is the minority. Most seem to stay for two reasons: family and work. I really don't come across a ton of people that seem to really like it here. I feel like most people feel stuck here.

Posted 4/27/17 1:40 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9508 total posts

Name:

Re: So very sick of the grind.


Posted by LuckyStar

A LI bashing post? Week made!

First, let's get one thing very clear here. NY as in the city and LI are two very separate entities. I've heard people on LI say they want to secede from NY. By all means, please do. No one wants you. You're literally NY's d!ck.

The grind is the grind. If you work outside the home, it exists no matter were you live. You may get hit with less traffic and your house may be cheaper (and worth less) but you're still showing up to work every day. You can't blame LI for the grind.

Moving for us is a no brainer, but we're considering going back to the city, so grindier and more expensive. But for us, worth it. You couldn't pay us any amount of money to stay here. We only came here because it was cheaper than Westchester. Obviously, you get what you pay for. We're leaving before DD starts kindergarten. Everyone may think the schools are great, but when I meet the parents of the kids she would go to school with I want to vomit. Narrow-minded, entitled, anti-progressive, uneducated people. That's not what I want her around, what I want her to think of as "normal." It's not normal. It's repulsive.

Also, no one is jealous of living on LI. DH still still tells people he's from Westchester because he's mortified. I correct anyone who refers to me as a LIer. And you know what? Only a LIer would think people would be jealous of them. Thank you for proving my point.



I know this is super personal but can I ask where you live? I'm just very curious.

Posted 4/27/17 1:45 PM
 

GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!

Member since 11/06

26792 total posts

Name:
Shawn

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by lululu

Posted by Hofstra26


Yes, I agree. You should love where you live and I don't hate LI (I did grow up here) but there are things that frustrate me about being here. That aside, my point was that LI'ers, in general, seem to think that ANY place outside of LI is worthless garbage. They have the mentality that LI is the mecca of ALL things great, which is fine, everyone is entitled to feel how they want but it simply isn't true. Other nice places with just as many good things exist outside of this tiny island. There are other fantastic schools in this country, other great places to eat and shop, nice weather (depending what you're looking for) and a host of other things that would make one's life happy.



See, I would say by the amount of people on a Long Island site that are complaining about Long Island that loving or even liking living on Long Island is the minority. Most seem to stay for two reasons: family and work. I really don't come across a ton of people that seem to really like it here. I feel like most people feel stuck here.




And even those that don't feel "stuck", like myself, are kind of ambivalent about staying here. I don't love LI, but I don't hate it either. It's a PITA to pack up all my stuff and move to a new house, so I'm here mainly because I'm lazy.... Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/27/17 1:47 PM
 

ChilisWife
God Bless America

Member since 5/05

3570 total posts

Name:
A.K.

Re: So very sick of the grind.

I love LI and wont be moving anytime soon. In my opinion, the grind is the grind wherever you are. I would rather be somewhere I can be with family, have different seasons, make a good salary, have amazing food, great schools, access to NYC or a beach in an hour, and be around people that have a similar fast-paced lifestyle. I think LI definitely has issues but gets such a bad reputation bc of $$$$ but there are reasons why it cost so much to live here!

Does the traffic and cost of living suck? Yes definitely! But every place has negatives. The grass is always greener somewhere else until you get there....and find out its not even grass its fake turf....and full of bugs year round. Its nice to daydream about waking up in my ginormous (and cheap!) lakefront home down south where I can whittle my days away moving at a snail's pace. But for me the novelty of that would wear off in a week.

Posted 4/27/17 1:55 PM
 

JME78
LIF Adult

Member since 11/09

3672 total posts

Name:

So very sick of the grind.

I don't like Long Island but love living in the city. We moved to Westchester for a short time but was not for us. We are city people, can't imagine being anywhere else.

Posted 4/27/17 1:58 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54917 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Everyone talks about easy access to a beach as a pro to living on LI- yeah but you can only use that beach 2 months of the year.

I'd rather be somewhere where not only do I have easy access to a beach, I can use it in more than just July and August.

Posted 4/27/17 2:30 PM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13103 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by alli3131

Posted by Michellec

I don't know, but it is very depressing. I got a much better education growing up in the city schools and going to a specialized high school for academics. Long Island high schools are a joke.



Yes some of the city schools with give you an amazing education but seeing what my sister has to go through to get my nephew those great opportunities is insane. No one should have to apply to go to one of the good schools. At least in Nassau and Suffolk you know the schools when you move there. You don't have to hope you have get accepted to the schools.



The process to get into one of the better public NYC HS is bat shit...like legit bat shit. My sister just went through this with my nephew. He got his 2nd choice and was lucky..many of his classmates not so much.

Posted 4/27/17 3:26 PM
 

EatingMyVeggies

Member since 1/12

6667 total posts

Name:

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by jellybean78

Posted by alli3131

Posted by Michellec

I don't know, but it is very depressing. I got a much better education growing up in the city schools and going to a specialized high school for academics. Long Island high schools are a joke.



Yes some of the city schools with give you an amazing education but seeing what my sister has to go through to get my nephew those great opportunities is insane. No one should have to apply to go to one of the good schools. At least in Nassau and Suffolk you know the schools when you move there. You don't have to hope you have get accepted to the schools.



The process to get into one of the better public NYC HS is bat shit...like legit bat shit. My sister just went through this with my nephew. He got his 2nd choice and was lucky..many of his classmates not so much.



What does it entail?

Posted 4/27/17 3:40 PM
 

LInMI
LIF Adult

Member since 7/10

1800 total posts

Name:

Re: So very sick of the grind.

Posted by NervousNell

I think of this all the time.
Not only do we pay some of the highest costs of living to live here, we get NOTHING for our money.
Everything is old, dirty, gray and run down.
Even the beaches- everyone raves about LI beaches- but I find them gross.
Always cold too. And the water looks brown. Totally depressing. You look at beaches in Florida and compared to LI it's night and day with the beauty.

Add in to that some of the worst weather in the nation- always raining. Always windy. Winter lasts until June.

Yeah, it's hard not to get depressed

But then I think about moving and I think- how would I make money? I feel like yeah, cost of living might be cheaper elsewhere, but so are salaries. In the end I feel like it's all relative.
Unless you can go retire on a NY pension or keep a NY salary to work remotely elsewhere, it's kind of not feasible/




I lived in the Midwest for a number of years. I made just as much there as I do in NY. It really all depends on the industry. My current company recently opened an office in North Carolina. I can tell you everyone that transferred went down with their NY salary. More Fortune 500 companies are moving to cheaper states and there's a lot of competition, so salaries aren't too far off from here.
However, I don't think teachers and cops make as much, but it seems like private sector jobs make comparable salaries... yet the cost of living is so much cheaper outside of NY. Housing and taxes are out of control here... And for what?
I agree... everything is so run down and the quality of life stinks!! I'm only here because of my elderly parents. Otherwise, I would have stayed in the Midwest.
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Posted 4/27/17 4:08 PM
 
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