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wakemeup
Member since 10/13 1397 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by LastLightGlow
He is not a "Mr" if he is a "Dr". It's like referring to "Mrs" as a "Miss". Shouldn't bother you, it's just a formality. Now if he asked his family to call him "Dr" at the Thanksgiving dinner table that would be too much.
Exactly this. I'm really having trouble understanding why this would "peeve" you.
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Posted 9/23/16 10:06 AM  |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Depending on the tone and if he was trying to be condescending about it I probably would have rolled my eyes to myself and moved on.
ETA: honestly though outside say school and a dr office/hospital setting, social gathering for work or charities etc I guess i would find it weird to refer to someone has dr. Like are their kids friends suppose to refer to them as DR XX or Mr/Mrs. XX I would personally I think on a day to day basis outside of work, school etc I would just want to be referred to as my first name or Mrs. XX
Message edited 9/23/2016 10:12:51 AM.
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| Posted 9/23/16 10:07 AM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
I totally get it. It comes across as pretentious and arrogant. Like he thinks he's extra special and wants extra respect. Who cares if you're a doctor?? Please! Should I be impressed?? Ugh. Just be down to earth!! Totally rubs me the wrong way too!
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| Posted 9/23/16 10:13 AM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
I don't think the OP has overreacted like a raving lunatic as some posters are trying to make it seem. She is just venting and thought it was obnoxious. If other people don't agree they don't need to act like the OP is a complete moron.
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| Posted 9/23/16 10:46 AM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
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MrsDrMatt
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
yes, I think you are wrong to be peeved.
Love,
Mrs. Dr. Matt
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| Posted 9/23/16 10:49 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
I think it's just as obnoxious when someone refers to their spouse as "my husband" or "my wife" when you're clearly on first name basis (family, friends etc)
People love titles. There's a time and place for it all.
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| Posted 9/23/16 10:52 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Am I wrong to be peeved?
Ehhh, yeah he may be being pretentious because he is a Dr., but then again, his kid is so stupid he has to plagiarize! So i would just laugh it off!
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| Posted 9/23/16 11:06 AM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by MrsProfessor
Posted by Sweetlax22
I think this is all about the tone.
It sounds like the tone in this case was to remind the teacher that they are a dr and maybe some how better then them.
I think so too. Granted, people like to be referred to by their appropriate titles but from the way the OP described it, it sounds like the parent wanted an upper hand.
On a slightly related note my DH has a PhD and hates being called Dr. I also have a good friend who has a PhD and gets offended if you don't use her title- I think it's because she loathed grad school so much that she figures at least she got a title out of it.  DH also has some colleagues who get very offended if you don't use their titles.
I think a doctor getting offended by being called Mr. Or Mrs. By accident and going out of their way to correct someone is a douchy move. It makes them seem like they are better than the other person. I don't correct everyone that calls me miss instead of mrs. Should I be offended? But then I guess being called doctor is a much more pretentious title than being called Mr. Or Mrs. People need to get off their high horse.
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| Posted 9/23/16 11:17 AM |
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by LastLightGlow
He is not a "Mr" if he is a "Dr". It's like referring to "Mrs" as a "Miss". Shouldn't bother you, it's just a formality. Now if he asked his family to call him "Dr" at the Thanksgiving dinner table that would be too much.
This, exactly. Mr. Smith is not his name. It's not to show off or anything, it's formally not his name.
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| Posted 9/23/16 11:36 AM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by LuckyStar
Ehhh, I get it. I don't think he was being rude per se, but depending on his tone I can see why it might be obnoxious. You are both equals in this scenario (if anything, YOU have the upper hand) so pushing the title really isn't necessary. He's not at work. Also, way to pass along work ethic, your kid is a little plagiarizer.
Bingo. I totally agree. It sounds like he said it condescendingly (and come on, some people love to throw their titles just to make it seem like they are better than others).
Unless you heard him on the phone, why would you assume he was being condescending? I'm sure he didn't give a passing thought to what he said when he answered the phone, he's probably on auto pilot when he says, "Dr. Smith".
The crap people get worked up over amazes me. Who cares how he referred to himself, seriously.............WHO CARES!! People are so hypersensitive these days. If someone WHO IS A DOCTOR refers to himself as a doctor and that bothers you, then that's your own insecurities coming through and has NOTHING to do with the person on the other end of the phone.
The OP clearly stated "There was hard emphasis put on the word "Doctor". It wasn't said casually like you would if you were introducing yourself to someone."
Yup. I work with multitudes of doctors. Some of the best doctors in the world, actually. The vast majority correct me if I call them "Dr." and tell me to use their first name. The ones who go out of their way to identify themselves as "doctor so and so" do it for the sole purpose of being obnoxious. Maybe not every doctor to ever be a doctor in the universe, but most. I know this because they've told me.
I agree its not something to get worked up over, but isn't that what these boards are for? To vent anonymously to a large group? I think we should all be entitled to whine about silly things without judgement 
When I was younger, I worked in different dr offices (all different specialties). A good amount of them could care less if they were referred to as "dr so and so", those were the ones that cared for their patients more than they really needed to, and there were a couple that would interrupt u in the middle of u talking, give u the evil eye, and proceed to correct u, those were usually the ones that would also look over their shoulder and correct ur grammar. Interesting enough when I became a teacher and started working in a school, I experienced something similar to what the op posted, I'll just say it's all about the tone, and that doesn't only include titles.
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| Posted 9/23/16 11:55 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
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Veronica
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by StarsStripes
Anybody with a Dr. In their name obviously earned it, whether it's from a PhD or an MD...why would that bother anyone?
This.
My Cal A/P Teacher as a Dr. We addressed him as such. I mean the worked on it for years, so why not? Actually he was a PhD in Physics and was working on another PhD while we were in class. It actually inspired us.
*shrug*
I think it was an automatic response from him out of habit.
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| Posted 9/23/16 12:13 PM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
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Am I wrong to be peeved?
I think pretentious. Definitely to show you. I would have just responded, "speaking". It's even one thing to introduce himself as Dr. Smith, but correcting you like that? Nah, big time eyeroll from me.
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| Posted 9/23/16 12:17 PM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by MrsDrMatt
yes, I think you are wrong to be peeved.
Love,
Mrs. Dr. Matt
So if someone called you Mrs. Matt would you correct them with Mrs. Dr. Matt?
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| Posted 9/23/16 12:20 PM |
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LiveandLearn
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 1586 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by luvbuffet
I think it's just as obnoxious when someone refers to their spouse as "my husband" or "my wife" when you're clearly on first name basis (family, friends etc)
People love titles. There's a time and place for it all.
See this annoys the crap out of me. When I am talking to a friend or co-worker and they are like "my husband" or "my son" etc. I want to scream "I KNOW THEIR NAME!!!"
The Dr. thing doesn't bother me though.
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| Posted 9/23/16 12:34 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
I wonder - if you called divorced parents and called the mother Mrs. (Insert Ex-H)'s name, and she corrected you, would you have the same reaction?
You called him by a name (title) that's not his. He corrected you - likely out of habit, not being rude. I do not think he did anything wrong.
Are you right to be peeved? You are entitled to your feelings. But I don't think he did anything wrong.
IMO, I'd check the parent's names/titles before calling and then you won't have this issue again.
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| Posted 9/23/16 12:58 PM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by LiveandLearn
Posted by luvbuffet
I think it's just as obnoxious when someone refers to their spouse as "my husband" or "my wife" when you're clearly on first name basis (family, friends etc)
People love titles. There's a time and place for it all.
See this annoys the crap out of me. When I am talking to a friend or co-worker and they are like "my husband" or "my son" etc. I want to scream "I KNOW THEIR NAME!!!"
The Dr. thing doesn't bother me though.
I couldnt agree more lol
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| Posted 9/23/16 1:07 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by LuckyStar
Ehhh, I get it. I don't think he was being rude per se, but depending on his tone I can see why it might be obnoxious. You are both equals in this scenario (if anything, YOU have the upper hand) so pushing the title really isn't necessary. He's not at work. Also, way to pass along work ethic, your kid is a little plagiarizer.
Bingo. I totally agree. It sounds like he said it condescendingly (and come on, some people love to throw their titles just to make it seem like they are better than others).
Unless you heard him on the phone, why would you assume he was being condescending? I'm sure he didn't give a passing thought to what he said when he answered the phone, he's probably on auto pilot when he says, "Dr. Smith".
The crap people get worked up over amazes me. Who cares how he referred to himself, seriously.............WHO CARES!! People are so hypersensitive these days. If someone WHO IS A DOCTOR refers to himself as a doctor and that bothers you, then that's your own insecurities coming through and has NOTHING to do with the person on the other end of the phone.
Exactly.
Yes, I think the OP is wrong to be peeved. Whether he has an MD or PhD, that is his social title. I don't go out of my way to correct people out of nowhere, but if I am given an option and asked, I will identify myself as Dr. (last name). And if someone is annoyed by this or feels put down, I agree it is your own insecurity. Who cares what he wants to be called? He earned the title.
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| Posted 9/23/16 1:11 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by LiveandLearn
Posted by luvbuffet
I think it's just as obnoxious when someone refers to their spouse as "my husband" or "my wife" when you're clearly on first name basis (family, friends etc)
People love titles. There's a time and place for it all.
See this annoys the crap out of me. When I am talking to a friend or co-worker and they are like "my husband" or "my son" etc. I want to scream "I KNOW THEIR NAME!!!"
The Dr. thing doesn't bother me though.
I do this though I try really hard not too ... I always forget who know my husbands/kids names.
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| Posted 9/23/16 1:20 PM |
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BlackJack96
LIF Infant
Member since 6/08 245 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
For what it's worth I am a doctor (the medical kind).
I think there's a generational issue at play here. You say the parent in question is a parent of a high schooler. I'm assuming they're in their 50s or maybe pushing 60s.
Back in the day, being a doctor was this title of prestige which exuded in all sphere's of life. My uncle is a doctor and I remember going places with him and he'd introduce himself as Dr. So and So and was referred to as such. So I think it's just habit.
In the last 20 years I think that's changing and society is more egalitarian. Even in the hospital most people who know me call my by my first name. Although, some older nurses refuse and refer to me as Dr. ____.
I wouldn't be peeved about it.
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| Posted 9/23/16 2:28 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Am I wrong to be peeved?
So your saying he should've just responded "this is Mr. Smith" versus "this is Dr. Smith?" I don't think that's fair. It's kind of asking him to compromise himself (not sure that's the right word) but I don't think he should have to say "Mr." if his title is "Dr."..... Honestly, if I was a doctor I would've responded this is Dr. Smith as well. It's just their proper title really nothing pretentious about it, it's just matter of fact. I actually would find it more weird if he said this is Mr. Smith if his title was doctor....
But on the other hand, it's really all about tone and delivery. If he said "um actually it's Dr. Smith" and HE sounded peeved than I'd roll my eyes big time. How the heck should you know / remember he's a doctor????? Although, I am sure you won't forget now!
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| Posted 9/23/16 2:36 PM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
Name:
MrsDrMatt
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by WonderLady
Posted by MrsDrMatt
yes, I think you are wrong to be peeved.
Love,
Mrs. Dr. Matt
So if someone called you Mrs. Matt would you correct them with Mrs. Dr. Matt?
Depends on the situation.
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| Posted 9/23/16 2:39 PM |
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Mom0710
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/14 682 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by mommy2B3
I would probably be peeved too, but at least he's actually a doctor, so I feel like it's out of respect. My DS is in 2nd grade and the teacher has asked to be called Dr. So and so and I feel that's super pretentious and we all roll our eyes at it. I've had grad professors correct me from calling them Doctor, but this second grade teacher wants to be called that. I apologize for venting on your post 
We have doctor teachers at our school too. Always makes me roll my eyes that they want a first grader to say "doctor"
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| Posted 9/23/16 2:50 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Am I wrong to be peeved?
So I was actually just on the phone with a doctor colleague and asked if she corrects people if they call her Ms. instead of Dr.
She said "Oh God, no. I don't tell anyone I'm a doctor. Then they ask me to look at the growth on their foot and sh!t. Only a moron or a pretentious fluck would do that."
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| Posted 9/23/16 3:05 PM |
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SecretTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 2284 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
Posted by Mom0710
Posted by mommy2B3
I would probably be peeved too, but at least he's actually a doctor, so I feel like it's out of respect. My DS is in 2nd grade and the teacher has asked to be called Dr. So and so and I feel that's super pretentious and we all roll our eyes at it. I've had grad professors correct me from calling them Doctor, but this second grade teacher wants to be called that. I apologize for venting on your post
We have doctor teachers at our school too. Always makes me roll my eyes that they want a first grader to say "doctor"
If you are teaching in an educational setting, wouldn't it be important for students to acknowledge and respect the highest degree a teacher can earn? A person who has earned a doctorate does have specialized training, education and experience that should be recognized. Furthermore, people who have their doctorates don't identify with the Mr/Mrs label. They identify themselves as a doctor. It is not just a title but rather their identity.
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| Posted 9/23/16 3:54 PM |
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muffaboo
LIF Adult
Member since 12/10 3797 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong to be peeved?
I am a teacher too and this would not bother me at all.
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| Posted 9/23/16 4:57 PM |
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