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Is this rude?

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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!

Member since 7/06

27915 total posts

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Re: Is this rude?

Posted by Lillykat

Posted by Hofstra26

Yea, I do think it was pretty rude. If Person A was nice enough to offer to drive Person B then Person B should've been nice enough to offer Person A a ride if she was having car trouble. I think it was pretty selfish and rude to not offer to drive because she has a "new car". So what??...........cars are meant to be driven. Give me a break.Chat Icon

ETA - Put aside that the car broke down because that was unforeseeable however, in these VERY HOT summer temps how utterly ridiculous to not offer to drive when your car has working A/C. NO way in hell I'd sit in someone's hot box and melt all the way into the city. Yuck.



Really? Why couldn't they have taken the train? I can think of several reason a person might not want to drive their new car into the city, none of which are necessarily selfish or rude. While I would have driven, I know some who lease their cars and with long commutes they don't drive their car that often for more personal use, never mind into the city. They are limited in their lease miles, so the car is mainly for work. One big reason I can think of is that I know several people who are very uncomfortable driving in NYC. So uncomfortable, in fact, they will not drive in the city for any reason. if the car AC wasn't working and be didn't want to drive, they should have hopped the train. I would certainly never drive into the city on a super hot day with no AC. Now I might think it was rude if she regularly drives into the city or drove in the day before, but I would assume it was rude.



Assuming catching a train was an option. Maybe it was too late for that? I just think if someone offers to drive you should be ready to reciprocate if need be. They really should've had a "Plan B" just in case.

Message edited 7/21/2016 5:18:04 PM.

Posted 7/21/16 5:17 PM
 
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jlm2008
LIF Adult

Member since 1/10

5092 total posts

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Re: Is this rude?

Posted by Kitten1929

Posted by EatingMyVeggies

I think it's stupid. I never understood people who get brand new cars and then are scared to drive it anywhere or put miles on it.

The best option would have been to hop on a train I guess. Sitting in this heat with the windows up is insane. I would have vetoed that



I agree - it's kinda selfish because you have a brand new car and sure, it's your prerogative not to drive it, but myself nor any of my friends would ever decline to drive if something was wrong with the drivers car. Especially if a B'way show is on the line.



ITA with both of these.

Posted 7/21/16 6:08 PM
 

ChilisWife
God Bless America

Member since 5/05

3554 total posts

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A.K.

Re: Is this rude?

I wouldn't say it's rude. Some people don't like driving into the city. I know I don't. If someone was supposed to give me a ride and I counted on that and then 10 minutes before they canceled, then it's the LIRR all the way. Driving without A/C this time of year is stupid.

Posted 7/21/16 6:14 PM
 

RainyDay
LIF Adult

Member since 6/15

3849 total posts

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Re: Is this rude?

Posted by Hofstra26

Yea, I do think it was pretty rude. If Person A was nice enough to offer to drive Person B then Person B should've been nice enough to offer Person A a ride if she was having car trouble. I think it was pretty selfish and rude to not offer to drive because she has a "new car". So what??...........cars are meant to be driven. Give me a break.Chat Icon

ETA - Put aside that the car broke down because that was unforeseeable however, in these VERY HOT summer temps how utterly ridiculous to not offer to drive when your car has working A/C. NO way in hell I'd sit in someone's hot box and melt all the way into the city. Yuck.



Chat Icon

Posted 7/21/16 8:43 PM
 

JennP
LIF Adult

Member since 10/06

3985 total posts

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Jenn

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by chilltocam

Posted by LSP2005

I don't think it is Bs fault or obligation to take a new car into the city. A should have known the condition of her car and maintained it. Frankly, I would have suggested a train or an uber. But to me, if your car is in that bad of shape, I would have dropped it off and gotten a loaner car from the mechanic or dealer.



Things happen - cars break down unexpectedly. And you usually can't just drop in to the dealer and expect a loaner car to be available. I think that is kind of presumptuous to expect someone else to "maintain" their car - things happen

If I was B, I don't think I would have been to happy to take a car with no AC, but I probably also wouldn't have been thrilled to drive a new car into the city, but probably would have done it anyway. That, or if it was an option, I would have suggested taking the train. Do I think either of them was rude - no. Maybe a little annoying, but not rude. The car breaking down was not expected and things happen. Sometimes things are just out of your control



Agree with all of this.

Years ago my AC stopped working because the fan (I think) broke. It wasn't a new car but it wasn't super old either. Nothing else was wrong with it in the immediate aftermath - it was an isolated incident, not some slow decline.

Things happen without warning or notice so I don't think it should be held against Person A.

This really just sounds like it's an unfortunate incident that was no one's "fault."

Posted 7/21/16 11:17 PM
 

2BadSoSad
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

6790 total posts

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Re: Is this rude?

Not rude, but definitely sucky.

Posted 7/21/16 11:24 PM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

7115 total posts

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Is this rude?

I don't think rude is the right word, but I do think Person B should have offered to drive.

Posted 7/21/16 11:35 PM
 

MrsA1012
love my little girl !

Member since 9/10

5768 total posts

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Me

Is this rude?

edited with more info.

Posted 7/21/16 11:37 PM
 

Chai77
Brighter days ahead

Member since 4/07

7364 total posts

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Re: Is this rude?

No. I really don't think it's rude. I think I would have done the same as person B. I hate hate hate driving in the city. Like haven't done it in over ten years. Especially not in a brand new car. And the pet needed to be picked up? No. Train all the way. Just bc one person offers doesn't mean the other is willing or prepared to do it last minute

Posted 7/22/16 12:44 AM
 

my3bugs
Mom of 2 Boys

Member since 5/05

4381 total posts

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Re: Is this rude?

Not rude at all. Just stinky situation.

Person A didn't say that this may be a sign something was wrong with the car and still felt it could drive to the city - so it was sheer bad luck.

Not because of my car, I personally am a driver who doesn't like to drive in new situations or things like that so NYC would be out for me. Person B was like no big deal with ac - they also didn't think car would break down. I would be like person b in this situation. I person A thought something was wrong with car - I would have taken the train - I have no issue with public transportation.

Bad luck - that happened and plans didn't happen as planned.

Posted 7/22/16 7:15 AM
 

ourlivesstartnow2012
New Year, New Everything!

Member since 6/12

2689 total posts

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Is this rude?

I don't think it's rude. It's a s*cky situation no matter how you put it. I wouldn't have though the AC not working would've been an indication that the car was broken. My friend didn't have AC in her car for YEARS!

Posted 7/22/16 7:23 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54380 total posts

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..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by MrsA1012

edited with more info.



And with that new info....even more so do I side wirh person B. No way I am taking a pet in my brand new car. NOPE!

Posted 7/22/16 8:01 AM
 

jamnmore
LIF Adult

Member since 6/16

989 total posts

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Is this rude?

I don't drive in the city, ever, under any circumstances. I barely do more than drive back and forth to work. Driving causes me great anxiety and I don't do it unless I absolutely have to. Honestly even being a passenger in a car causes anxiety. So if I were person B I would never have entertained the idea of driving for any reason. But most of my friends and family know this about me already and would never ask. I would however offer to let person A drive my car instead of taking the car with the problem.
But really if the car broke down that was inevitable and it would have broken down the next time she drove it and then she would not be able to blame person B.

Posted 7/22/16 8:15 AM
 

Kitten1929
LIF Adult

Member since 1/13

6040 total posts

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Re: Is this rude?

This sounds like a clusterfuckk and both people need a time out.

Message edited 7/22/2016 8:30:31 AM.

Posted 7/22/16 8:30 AM
 

CSK
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/11

891 total posts

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Re: Is this rude?

Posted by LuckyStar

I don't think rude is the right word, but I do think Person B should have offered to drive.



agreed. maybe selfish or inconsiderate?

If it were me, I would have taken the train before anyone offered to drive.

lease miles and all that I think is a BS excuse. To me that is I didn't put enough mile limit on my car lease and I'd rather impose on other people than pay what is needed.

Posted 7/22/16 10:37 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54380 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Is this rude?

Posted by CSK

Posted by LuckyStar

I don't think rude is the right word, but I do think Person B should have offered to drive.



agreed. maybe selfish or inconsiderate?

If it were me, I would have taken the train before anyone offered to drive.

lease miles and all that I think is a BS excuse. To me that is I didn't put enough mile limit on my car lease and I'd rather impose on other people than pay what is needed.




Or maybe you leased your car with the intention to use it for you own personal use and not cart others around to nyc when there is mass transit so readily available. Maybe those miles were all you could afford and you needed a car for work.
It's hard to make assumptions without knowing all the details of this person and why they refused to drive;

Posted 7/22/16 10:58 AM
 

Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!

Member since 8/05

14470 total posts

Name:
Veronica

Re: Is this rude?

Nope I don't think it's rude at all.

Person A should have checked their car out. Minutes before?

I don't see how that obligates Person B in any way at all? What if person B didn't have a car? How is that now Person B's responsibility or make them rude?

I'm not sure how 1. & 2. play in other than person A seems to have needed the car for a pet and Person B may not have wanted a pet in their car on top of bring a new car into the city.

What bites is they missed the show. Poor planning. But things happen. Doesn't seem like anyone did this on purpose. I have a belief that as long as everyone survived, then what's the harm? We take these type of things out of proportion and get way too angry. It's just a play. If it was that important you leave the car and go or get someone to come get the car etc but obviously it wasn't that important of a play. It's just a play. So be grateful everyone was safe. You laugh it off and hope for the best next time. I mean what can you do? Yelling about it now won't change what happened, right?

sorry only read first post.

Posted 7/22/16 12:37 PM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

7115 total posts

Name:

Is this rude?

I think the pet changes things. I could understand not wanting someone else's pet in their brand new car.

I also think the fact that they're from Queens impacts things, too. I know LOTS of people (my mom, my SIL, several friends) who will not take the subway under any circumstances. I grew up with many people who had never been on the subway. It's bizarre. It's also not like the LIRR in that you drive to the station and park in a lot. If you need to drive to the subway you have to park on the street and most subway stops are in heavily populated areas. They could easily miss the show looking for parking (I assume the plan was to park in a garage for the show).

So, if I were Person B I'd probably suggest taking a cab or an uber. Its a crappy situation but it's over and done with and it sounds like all worked out just fine!

Posted 7/22/16 1:02 PM
 
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