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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
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Thin/fit girls
I have worked hard at the gym over the last 2 years, gave up diet soda and try to eat clean when I can. There are noticeable changes in my body. I have learned to accept compliments and say thank you...where before it used to make me feel uncomfortable.
But I never know how to respond to the comments like
"I hate you your so skinny"
"I'm getting fatter and you're getting skinnier I'm so mad"
It's not the same person but a few at work.
I Never know what to say. I usually just chuckle like they are telling a joke. It makes me soooo uncomfortable!
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Posted 10/13/15 11:02 PM  |
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luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)
Member since 6/07 5339 total posts
Name:
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Thin/fit girls
Ugh! I am not as fit as I used to be since having the kids, but I am trying and working hard. I'm not heavy at all and I wouldn't say I am super fit either but I get these same comments ALL THE TIME! I hate it. I mean, do I go up to people and say "you're getting fatter and I'm getting skinnier!"? No! So why do people feel the need to comment on me being skinny. I have my own body image issues and I feel this makes it worse. Some of my best friends do this to me too and I never know how to respond so I just sit quietly and don't say anything or I chuckle like its a joke. When I joined WW at work a couple of years ago someone actually asked what "the skinny girl" was doing there. A woman that I worked with and was very close with looked at her and said "you have no idea how she feels about herself or how she looks under her clothes so you just do you and let her do her!" It's just so uncomfortable when people make "skinny" comments.
Edited for spelling
Message edited 10/14/2015 9:20:21 AM.
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| Posted 10/14/15 9:18 AM |
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LiveandLearn
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 1586 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thin/fit girls
I have been getting comments since High School and it doesn't get any more comfortable over time.
Once in a while, I respond with something like "I work hard for it. Or being healthy is a choice." Just something half polite so they get the point. This is usually to people who think they are paying you a complimant but don't realize they aren't.
MOST of the time I just smirk and walk away because what I am really thinking would be completely unacceptable to say out loud.
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| Posted 10/14/15 10:25 AM |
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racheK
Hudson's Momma
Member since 10/10 2853 total posts
Name:
Rachel
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Thin/fit girls
Same, I've always heard those comments. Now that I'm pregnant, I get "ugh, you're so little and you'll be one of those women that just has a little basketball and then jump right back into shape, so lucky" and that's annoying because it's like an expectation now!
I've always been uncomfortable with those comments though. I usually say, thank you but it also depends on the person on how I respond. I usually say, "Well, thank you! I try to be healthy!" If it's another thin person, I say, "you are in amazing shape, what are you talking about?"
Yes, a lot of my body type is genetics but I do watch what I eat and work out regularly so I'm not ashamed of being thin and in shape. It's a shame that people try to push you/I down for it.
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| Posted 10/14/15 11:53 AM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thin/fit girls
Posted by allIwant
I have worked hard at the gym over the last 2 years, gave up diet soda and try to eat clean when I can. There are noticeable changes in my body. I have learned to accept compliments and say thank you...where before it used to make me feel uncomfortable.
But I never know how to respond to the comments like
"I hate you your so skinny"
"I'm getting fatter and you're getting skinnier I'm so mad"
It's not the same person but a few at work.
I Never know what to say. I usually just chuckle like they are telling a joke. It makes me soooo uncomfortable!
Honestly comments like this don't bother me. I am pretty fit after having triplets and sometimes people's eyes pop out of their heads after hearing I have triplets. I work hard and am glad it's noticeable. It's intended as a compliment however awkwardly its administered (and I agree it's not my favorite way to receive a conpliment). Our society values thinness so It's not the same at all as commenting on someone being heavy. When people say "I hate you, your so skinny" what they are really saying is "I envy your self control and commitment to exercise." I don't think it's often mean spirited :) Jmo! I just shrug it off and say something lame like "the kids keep me busy!"
Message edited 10/15/2015 10:11:56 PM.
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| Posted 10/14/15 2:21 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Thin/fit girls
Right after I lost a lot of the baby weight I started getting compliments and I always felt uncomfortable, like I had to have an excuse or explanation, or I would downplay it.
But you know what, I've been busting my butt for years now and I DO work hard and I DO look good, so when someone compliments me, now I just smile and say thank you.
With that said.....saying "I hate you, you're so skinny" isn't exactly a compliment. It's just a weird, kind of awkward statement.
And the second "compliment" you mentioned sounds more like fishing, IMO. It's not so much a statement about you as it is about them. That one I'd just laugh off...I hate feeling obligated to reassure someone they are not fat just because I am thin.
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| Posted 10/14/15 2:28 PM |
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sweetie
Member since 8/06 1730 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thin/fit girls
I used to get offended but mostly because I don't want to be viewed as skinny, just fit. Also, I used to make excuses by saying I'm not trying to be skinny, I want to bulk up & downplaying it.
Now I just smile & say "you should join me at the gym. You'll love it!"
Kill them with kindness & try not to internalize it
Message edited 10/14/2015 5:27:37 PM.
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| Posted 10/14/15 5:26 PM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thin/fit girls
Thanks everyone for your replies.
I get that their comments are not really about me but they make me feel bad because they are putting themselves down. I think this is what makes me uncomfortable...people putting themselves down.
Normal compliments I can deal with. I usually just say "thanks I have been working hard"
on a side note....I totally fell asleep while writing this post..I woke up with my phone in my hand at 5 am.
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| Posted 10/14/15 9:41 PM |
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SLPRunner
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1101 total posts
Name:
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Thin/fit girls
ugh I hate this. I get it all the time. More so after I lost my baby weight. I do work hard and eat healthy. It's a choice. It's more uncomfortable when people make the comments that put themselves down. It's like ok, so eat healthy, what do you want me to say? I shouldn't feel guilty that I work hard to maintain my body.
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| Posted 10/15/15 11:15 AM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thin/fit girls
Posted by SLPRunner
ugh I hate this. I get it all the time. More so after I lost my baby weight. I do work hard and eat healthy. It's a choice. It's more uncomfortable when people make the comments that put themselves down. It's like ok, so eat healthy, what do you want me to say? I shouldn't feel guilty that I work hard to maintain my body.
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| Posted 10/15/15 3:39 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thin/fit girls
Posted by SLPRunner
ugh I hate this. I get it all the time. More so after I lost my baby weight. I do work hard and eat healthy. It's a choice. It's more uncomfortable when people make the comments that put themselves down. It's like ok, so eat healthy, what do you want me to say? I shouldn't feel guilty that I work hard to maintain my body.
One, I don't know if it's always choice - being fit involves a lot of knowledge about nutrition and access to healthy foods and exercise programs that usually either involve time or money not readily available to all. And two, I can pretty much assure you there's no conspiracy against thin women ;) for me the "choice" is easy as I do not work and have disposable income I happily invest into a very expensive fitness program that I love. After carrying my triplets though I felt pretty terrible about my post partum body and understand how difficult the struggle is (though I was successful and feel great now.) I probably made similar comments to my sister and best friend who both always look great. Neither one took offense. Because it really isn't offensive although it makes you uncomfortable.
Again, most people are not trying to make fit, healthy people feel bad. They just may feel bad about themselves. Try to approach the comments from a place of compassion.
Message edited 10/15/2015 10:20:45 PM.
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| Posted 10/15/15 10:19 PM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thin/fit girls
Posted by Hopefulmama
Posted by SLPRunner
ugh I hate this. I get it all the time. More so after I lost my baby weight. I do work hard and eat healthy. It's a choice. It's more uncomfortable when people make the comments that put themselves down. It's like ok, so eat healthy, what do you want me to say? I shouldn't feel guilty that I work hard to maintain my body.
One, I don't know if it's always choice - being fit involves a lot of knowledge about nutrition and access to healthy foods and exercise programs that usually either involve time or money not readily available to all. And two, I can pretty much assure you there's no conspiracy against thin women ;) for me the "choice" is easy as I do not work and have disposable income I happily invest into a very expensive fitness program that I love. After carrying my triplets though I felt pretty terrible about my post partum body and understand how difficult the struggle is (though I was successful and feel great now.) I probably made similar comments to my sister and best friend who both always look great. Neither one took offense. Because it really isn't offensive although it makes you uncomfortable.
Again, most people are not trying to make fit, healthy people feel bad. They just may feel bad about themselves. Try to approach the comments from a place of compassion.
I have to disagree a little about the comment about the $
yes to eat really healthy it is more $ and an elite fitness program is $$ but the average person doesn't need anything fancy to lose weight. There is a wealth of nutritional information on the internet, you can youtube workouts, go for walks/run...all of that is relatively cheap/free. I am compassionate for the people that need to put themselves down or feel that bad about themselves that they need to make others feel bad to a point. But in the end it is a choice.
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| Posted 10/17/15 6:39 AM |
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Re: Thin/fit girls
Ok I cant help but pop in here because i read this and think to myself, what kind of people are you associating with that say this to your face???
"But I never know how to respond to the comments like
"I hate you your so skinny"
"I'm getting fatter and you're getting skinnier I'm so mad"
REALLY? I lost 60lbs last year and still have 30lbs more to lose. It is hard work. I am doing as much as I can to eat clean, exercise and avoid alcohol, junk food and snacking after 8 pm. My weight fluctuates but in general, I am losing about 5. to 2lbs a week, slowly but surely.
Trust me when I tell you that I don't look at women thinner than me and think "OMG I hate her". I cant help but think there are some thin women out there (not saying YOU specifically) who walk around actually thinking other women are completely jealous. You never know what health issues people face. I had a college roommate who suffered from low weight - she was 5'3" and her weight never went above the range of 98-110lbs. She could pass for Huma Abedin in terms of body size, struggled to find clothes in size XXS and 00, her bra size was barely a 30A and she confessed to everyone how she tried hard to gain weight but she had trouble doing so. From the other side of the coin, it caused her as much grief being bone thin as others like myself or other girls on my dorm floor who were struggling with weight loss.
I find it alarming that anyone says these atricious things to you. Thin "privilege" isnt a privilege - everyone comes in different shapes and sizes, and as long as people are doing the right thing with exercise, not eating 6 McDonalds cheeseburgers a day, and staying at a weight where their blood work is normal, no diabetes, etc -- I dont see why this has to be an issue for others to gossip about. My suiggestion would be to avoid those people as THEY are the ones with the hangup on other people's weight, not you.
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| Posted 10/19/15 5:01 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7612 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Thin/fit girls
I hate it. After having my DS, I fit into my regular clothes within a week - I only gained 23 lbs since I continued to workout and eat right. Someone people (jokingly) called me a b1tch. I usually laugh nervously when people say those types of things. I work hard to be fit. I go to the gym 6 days a week and I eat healthy for the most part.
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| Posted 10/20/15 6:27 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Thin/fit girls
I would say it isn't luck I work for this lol
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| Posted 10/21/15 1:10 PM |
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Thin/fit girls
Sometimes I feel the opposite. i feel I get weird looks when people find out how healthy I eat, how much I work out and run, and am still chunky. I guess in other peoples eyes we are never good enough. that is why it is important to stop listening and just focus on being the healthiest you you can be!!
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| Posted 10/22/15 2:26 PM |
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Re: Thin/fit girls
i was always thin/skinny and then after college i gained a lot of weight quickly and then took it off quickly... i'd rather here you are so skinny rather than what i always get "omg you lost so much weight. good for you for losing alllllll of that weight" like i was so heavy and heavy all of my life or something. it was like a bad two years and yet its always emphasized. yes, there may have been like a 30 lb difference but now im pretty much in the middle. comments about weight and looks are all just  we shouldnt discuss it!!
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| Posted 10/27/15 11:15 AM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thin/fit girls
Posted by BaysideForever
i was always thin/skinny and then after college i gained a lot of weight quickly and then took it off quickly... i'd rather here you are so skinny rather than what i always get "omg you lost so much weight. good for you for losing alllllll of that weight" like i was so heavy and heavy all of my life or something. it was like a bad two years and yet its always emphasized. yes, there may have been like a 30 lb difference but now im pretty much in the middle. comments about weight and looks are all just we shouldnt discuss it!!
I have to lol at this as I get the same thing all the time! As I stated above, I had triplets. I was pregnant with them for all of 8 months and was 115 lbs by their first birthday and yet people still exclaim every time they see me how shocked! they are that I no longer look like I am carrying three 5 lb babies. I am always getting congratulated and asked what my secret is. I'm like, um well, I delivered....  
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| Posted 10/27/15 11:21 AM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Thin/fit girls
I know this is a weird thread to dig up but I remember being motivated by it bc it's thin women talking about how hard they have to work to stay thin.
I've been thinking about it lately now that I'm in the dating pool again and I feel like it's a catch 22. I should accept myself and be proud (even though I'm 40 pounds overweight). I read posts by the Militant Baker - that being heavy can still be attractive and not care what others think. However, I care that I've struggled with my weight for over 10 years and have low self esteem.
So - it's refreshing to read that people don't just walk around thin - doesn't come easy for most people. That I need to be serious about it and make it a priority to be healthy.
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| Posted 9/5/17 7:51 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7612 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: Thin/fit girls
Posted by Funkybutt
I know this is a weird thread to dig up but I remember being motivated by it bc it's thin women talking about how hard they have to work to stay thin.
I've been thinking about it lately now that I'm in the dating pool again and I feel like it's a catch 22. I should accept myself and be proud (even though I'm 40 pounds overweight). I read posts by the Militant Baker - that being heavy can still be attractive and not care what others think. However, I care that I've struggled with my weight for over 10 years and have low self esteem.
So - it's refreshing to read that people don't just walk around thin - doesn't come easy for most people. That I need to be serious about it and make it a priority to be healthy.
For me, it is definitely work. I have to really think about what I am eating and I workout regularly. Today I woke up at 4:15 am so I could go to the gym since I am busy in the afternoon. It is really a lifestyle to me. I prep all my lunches on Sundays so all I have to do is pack them up in the morning and I don't have to think about what to pack.I am currently following IIFYM.
Good Luck!
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| Posted 9/19/17 7:57 AM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thin/fit girls
Posted by PitterPatter11
For me, it is definitely work. I have to really think about what I am eating and I workout regularly. Today I woke up at 4:15 am so I could go to the gym since I am busy in the afternoon. It is really a lifestyle to me. I prep all my lunches on Sundays so all I have to do is pack them up in the morning and I don't have to think about what to pack.I am currently following IIFYM.
Good Luck!
What motivates you to work so hard at it? Self esteem? Feeling healthy? Being thin? I know we all have our own motivations, but I'm curious why people make the choices they do. My choice is out of laziness and that bad food tastes so much better. 
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| Posted 9/19/17 10:36 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7612 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: Thin/fit girls
Posted by Funkybutt
Posted by PitterPatter11
For me, it is definitely work. I have to really think about what I am eating and I workout regularly. Today I woke up at 4:15 am so I could go to the gym since I am busy in the afternoon. It is really a lifestyle to me. I prep all my lunches on Sundays so all I have to do is pack them up in the morning and I don't have to think about what to pack.I am currently following IIFYM.
Good Luck!
What motivates you to work so hard at it? Self esteem? Feeling healthy? Being thin? I know we all have our own motivations, but I'm curious why people make the choices they do. My choice is out of laziness and that bad food tastes so much better.
I've been active in some form or other my entire life. I did sports in MS and HS and it just stuck. I do a mix of running, cycling, and lifting. As for eating, I do not eat 100 percent healthy. I really follow the 80/20 mentality. I eat ice cream every night but just make sure it fits my macros. The biggest thing for me has been portion sizes and not snacking while I'm prepping meals. These little things have made a big difference.
My main motivator is fitness and health. My mom is overweight (probably obese) and I see how she struggles. She has a hard time walking and her knees are always bothering her. I like being active so my son understands the importance of fitness. When he asks me why I go to the gym, I tell him so I can be strong.
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| Posted 9/19/17 5:11 PM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Thin/fit girls
My mom is one of the reasons I need to get my butt in gear - she has osteoporosis and has broken her arm a few times in minor falls. I'm already 46 and need to be careful I don't follow her down that path!
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| Posted 9/19/17 6:42 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thin/fit girls
Posted by Funkybutt
Posted by PitterPatter11
For me, it is definitely work. I have to really think about what I am eating and I workout regularly. Today I woke up at 4:15 am so I could go to the gym since I am busy in the afternoon. It is really a lifestyle to me. I prep all my lunches on Sundays so all I have to do is pack them up in the morning and I don't have to think about what to pack.I am currently following IIFYM.
Good Luck!
What motivates you to work so hard at it? Self esteem? Feeling healthy? Being thin? I know we all have our own motivations, but I'm curious why people make the choices they do. My choice is out of laziness and that bad food tastes so much better.
Sorry - I'm just seeing this now. I have lost close to 45lbs so far this year (since Feb). If I set out to lose that much weight, I don't know if I would have done it - it seemed impossible. I started out thinking, OK, I can lose 20lbs and then I'll see how I feel. But, I hit the 20 mark and kept going and am very happy I did. I am doing Weight Watchers and part of my motivation comes from knowing that I will have to weigh in each week. Have I had weeks where I have gained instead of lost - for sure, but they generally few and far between. The rest of my motivation is, I guess what you would call "internal, self motivation", or something like that. I can be very competitive with myself - let me see if I can run a little farther, do a few more reps of an exercise, type of thing. So when it come to losing weight, I "challenge" myself to stick to it, exercise more, do better etc. Also, once I started losing, I really liked how I felt - easier to move and do things that I enjoy - that was a really big piece of what motivates me. And then when people started noticing and I could fit into smaller sizes, those things were part of my motivation as well. It's not easy, but it is possible. Good luck to you!
Message edited 11/7/2017 2:59:57 PM.
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| Posted 11/7/17 2:58 PM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thin/fit girls
I haven't been on LIF in quite some time but I saw my post was bumped up again.
For me what motivates me is pretty internal. I feel the best physically and emotionally when I am fit.
I certainly do not eat healthy all of the time. I am not a crazy calorie counter and I don't follow any specific diets.
T
I eat when I am hungry and try my best to make my calories "filling" calories and not empty calories.
Working out keeps me SANE! It is most often the ONLY time I do something for myself. Its an hour or 2 during the day a few times a week where I can forget about every To Do list and focus on myself.
I have always been active so I don't dread going but it is sometimes challenging to fit it in.
Good Luck!!!!
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| Posted 11/10/17 9:27 PM |
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