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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
I think I am ready to give up.This is just more then I can handle.our journey has been two weeks and been a disaster.
first off I LOVE dr Brenner and the Melville staff. thank goodness I switched over because they found the root of the problem and fast.
The main problem is my age. I am 44. This is my 2nd marriage and my husband has no kids so I am doing this for him but in the process I realized I want a baby.
so first my husband seman analysis was awful...he has the varicole(sp?) and surgery isn't an option, at my age we most likely we cant conceive naturally and my time is limited and the dr said that himself although we knew that. So we were going to start IUI this month. Had my HSG and my tubes are not blocked but they are not functioning. He thinks maybe I had a infection or something a while back that could have damaged them.So he said now IVF is the only way and because my age chances are LOW like really low. Were going to do it. I have great insurance but I know the chances,
Im going ahead with the IUI this month. I know its not going to work but I feel I need to since we are almost ready to do it(this weekend).
My husband feels likea loser because his sperm, I feel like a loser because my eggs.
My FSH wasn't great, its 10 but the estrogen is high so that makes the FSH number not really accurate.
With all this, I already feel defeated. My husband knew when he met me this was a possibility and He says we don't have to do IVF if its to much but I am covered and off for the summer so this is our last chance.But I feel like theres no chance.
Message edited 6/19/2015 12:22:19 PM.
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Posted 6/19/15 12:22 PM  |
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JennLala
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/14 601 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
I'm so sorry that your news wasn't great and that you seem to feel so defeated before even trying any procedures. MIracles happen all the time though. 
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| Posted 6/19/15 12:53 PM |
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hazel2
LIF Infant
Member since 5/13 346 total posts
Name:
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Re: Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
I am so sorry, and I just wanted to comment that I can relate being almost 43 and trying for 3 years now to have our first child. The way things are going, and all we've been through leads me to believe our dream will most likely not come true. This year is our last hoorah. The worst part for me is you put your heart and soul and not to mention all your money into treatment, and may still not get what you want. It's unfair. I am in a bad state, but all I can recommend is to live each day and appreciate all the other blessings around you. That is what I try to do. Like everyone tells me, miracles can happen, so you never know. Hang in there 
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| Posted 6/19/15 1:05 PM |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
Thank you ladies, now dr Brenner called and said even if I become pregnant it could land up ectopic even with IVF. My husband said we don't have to go through it, but I feel like I need to try.
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| Posted 6/19/15 1:13 PM |
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moonmist09
Thank you, St. Gerard!
Member since 2/11 5043 total posts
Name:
Antonella
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Re: Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
first, i'm sorry you feel so down about everything. I think all of us go through this at one point or another.
second, miracles happen all the time. even for someone who is TTC naturally, any pregnancy always has that slight chance of ending up ectopic, so you shouldn't go around thinking that if you do end up pregnant that it will result in an ectopic pregnancy.
you should definitely give IVF a chance. You never know if it will work or not and you will always regret never trying at all versus having given it a shot and not having it work out.
Your DH's count may be low, but many women have gotten pregnant with those numbers so don't give up hope. Same with you and your eggs.
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| Posted 6/19/15 3:04 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
I am sorry you are feeling defeated. However I agree that you should at least give this a shot especially if you have the coverage. Best of luck!
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| Posted 6/19/15 3:12 PM |
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Re: Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
I just gotta say one thing! At age 44, with an FSH of 10; I think thats Fan-Freakin-Tastic!!!
That is NOT by far a horrible number; so keep your head up; you have more than just a slim chance IMO.
Lotsa luck!
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| Posted 6/19/15 4:42 PM |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
Posted by HopelesslyDiscouraged
I just gotta say one thing! At age 44, with an FSH of 10; I think thats Fan-Freakin-Tastic!!!
That is NOT by far a horrible number; so keep your head up; you have more than just a slim chance IMO.
Lotsa luck!
My estrogen is high so the told me that makes the 10 not accurate it's Definitely higher :(
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| Posted 6/19/15 6:16 PM |
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Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
I'm sending you hugs.
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| Posted 6/19/15 9:37 PM |
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Lillies
Grateful for my babies!
Member since 2/12 4571 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
Just a quick mention.... Brenner is known to not work with women who have low ovarian reserve/advanced aging. hes great but often recommends donor eggs quickly. I say you consult with another RE and check out all options before giving up! Dr. Palter from Gold Coast specializes with advanced age. If you can manage NYC, SIRM also works well for male issues and advanced ovarian aging.
I understand you may just know it's time to walk away but research your options first. I know a lady trying for 4 years and got pregnant with twins at 47! A bit extreme but it happens!
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| Posted 6/20/15 12:11 AM |
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Lillies
Grateful for my babies!
Member since 2/12 4571 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
Posted by rebeccamol
Posted by HopelesslyDiscouraged
I just gotta say one thing! At age 44, with an FSH of 10; I think thats Fan-Freakin-Tastic!!!
That is NOT by far a horrible number; so keep your head up; you have more than just a slim chance IMO.
Lotsa luck!
My estrogen is high so the told me that makes the 10 not accurate it's Definitely higher :(
That's still not terrible. It's usually a few points higher so maybe 11-13 FSH and FSH fluctuates. Look into acupuncture to help lower it along with supplements. I have advanced aging and my FSH was always ranging from 8-14 with high estrogen and acupuncture helped me so much.
Message edited 6/20/2015 12:15:28 AM.
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| Posted 6/20/15 12:14 AM |
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GoodThoughts
Dreams do come true
Member since 2/12 2258 total posts
Name:
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Re: Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
Posted by Lillies
Just a quick mention.... Brenner is known to not work with women who have low ovarian reserve/advanced aging. hes great but often recommends donor eggs quickly. I say you consult with another RE and check out all options before giving up! Dr. Palter from Gold Coast specializes with advanced age. If you can manage NYC, SIRM also works well for male issues and advanced ovarian aging.
I understand you may just know it's time to walk away but research your options first. I know a lady trying for 4 years and got pregnant with twins at 47! A bit extreme but it happens!
This. Those who have been on these boards for a while know that Brenner is not AMA/DOR friendly. I'd go for a consult elsewhere (Owen Davis at Cornell or SIRM).
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| Posted 6/20/15 7:14 AM |
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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
I am 41 going on 42 and have DOR/ lowAMH due to one ovary and my age in addition to some medical issues. Been at this for 3 years now. Higher fsh now. I am with SIRM currently because all the research I did on here. I was with RMA and started with RS of NY.
I am w Dr T now. I will not give up until my dream of being a mother is a reality. Hang in there. This process takes a lot of patience and perseverance.
I am not ready for donor eggs yet and Dr. T is not pushing that on me even though he was honest and said this will be a battle. Hang in there and fight for what you want.
PS acupuncture is amazing and I highlight recommend it. It's relaxing, helps w stress and fsh etc. it's been my life saver.
Message edited 6/20/2015 1:25:09 PM.
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| Posted 6/20/15 1:21 PM |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
Thank you ladies. I have to say de brenner has been great. He is not fighting me on using my own eggs and they have been so wonderful in the melville office. We are going to try ivf cycle and see how it goes.
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| Posted 6/20/15 9:22 PM |
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Wishes1111
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 853 total posts
Name:
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Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
I would consider dealing with an RE who is specific to your needs. An IVF cycle really needs to be individualized for your success and having an RE who specializes will give you your best chance
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| Posted 6/20/15 10:08 PM |
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JJ2014
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/14 686 total posts
Name:
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Re: Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
Do not give up!!!
But I do agree that if this,IVF Cycle doesn't work you should explore your options with more then one RE. Only because when you do have specific issues it is better to see someone who specializes with those issues.
I wish you both all the luck and keep us posted!
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| Posted 6/21/15 8:29 AM |
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babydreams21
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 3656 total posts
Name:
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Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
If I were in your shoes I wouldn't give up. I would always be thinking what if.....all you can do is try. Best of luck!
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| Posted 6/21/15 7:12 PM |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
I do think LI IVF is doing everything possible to help me. I am really happy with them. I just feel we have so much against us even the best dr I don't know if it will be possible.
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| Posted 6/22/15 12:34 PM |
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GoodThoughts
Dreams do come true
Member since 2/12 2258 total posts
Name:
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Re: Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
Posted by rebeccamol
I do think LI IVF is doing everything possible to help me. I am really happy with them. I just feel we have so much against us even the best dr I don't know if it will be possible.
I think the key point that many of us are trying to convey is that being AMA and having DOR/POF is a special area. REs have niche areas.
As someone who was AMA with DOR, I speak from experience, as several previous posters, when I say that seeing an RE who subspecializes with our particular population is very important.
Dr. Owen Davis at Cornell or Dr. Tortoriello
at SIRM are really well versed and known for working with AMA/DOR.
I wish you much luck.
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| Posted 6/22/15 5:36 PM |
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babyfaith
Onward and Upward!
Member since 2/08 3210 total posts
Name:
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Re: Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
As someone who went through 18 months of fertility treatments to get pregnant, you have to ask yourself how far you are willing to go to get pregnant. Would you consider donor eggs? Would you use donor sperm if needed? These are questions to ask yourself.
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| Posted 6/22/15 6:53 PM |
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ANiceChianti
LIF Infant
Member since 11/14 53 total posts
Name:
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Our journey is ending as fast as its starting
I am AMA with DOR, and while they were definitely willing to try with my own eggs, they brought up donor eggs at my first appointment at Cornell.
Message edited 6/23/2015 9:17:47 AM.
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| Posted 6/23/15 9:17 AM |
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