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LovelyMe
LIF Infant
Member since 7/08 137 total posts
Name:
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Tired of people walking on eggshells
When it comes to telling me they are pregnant. I have been struggling for the better part of 6 yrs, that doesn't mean I will not be happy for you. I currently have several people in my life who are pregnant ie; friends,coworkers. While it sucks that I am not pregnant i will handle my emotions privately. I actually feel worse when I hear " I know you're going through a lot..." Or told to my husband "please don't tell your wife just yet we are very sympathetic to your situation..." Why do people do this??? It makes me feel like an outcast. Anyone else deal with this? Sorry rant over.
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Posted 1/17/14 7:08 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
babyfever24
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 3340 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tired of people walking on eggshells
Yes yes yes! It's horrible and I wish no one knew. At first I told people bc I thought it would make things easier for me but it's made life a lot harder.
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| Posted 1/17/14 7:24 AM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Tired of people walking on eggshells
Yup..... This has happened to me countless times and it's awful!
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| Posted 1/17/14 8:31 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Tired of people walking on eggshells
I know what you mean. But I also feel like they are damned if they do and damned if they don't.
I have been on both sides of this. Where they come out and tell you and are so happy and talking to you as if you don't have IF - this can be crushing and you want them to stop speaking immediately bc you are holding back tears. And then there's the you're the last to find out and you feel like everyone has been sneaking around behind your back. For good reason of course. Not to hurt you, but that hurts too.
It's a sh1tty situation to be in on either side of the coin.
Message edited 1/17/2014 8:43:48 AM.
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| Posted 1/17/14 8:43 AM |
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Re: Tired of people walking on eggshells
Posted by PennyCat
Yup..... This has happened to me countless times and it's awful!
Yes, I've had this happen to me and if anything it makes me feel worse abt my situation when they phrase it like that. I don't want people feeling sorry for me. I know they don't mean it to be hurtful but it almost is.
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| Posted 1/17/14 8:44 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7612 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: Tired of people walking on eggshells
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
I know what you mean. But I also feel like they are damned if they do and damned if they don't.
It's a sh1tty situation to be in on either side of the coin.
ITA. I think either way it is handled it is an awkward situation.
After dealing with IF for 3 years and finally getting a BFP with our 3rd IVF cycle, I still felt bad telling our friends who had been struggling - its hard to know how other people deal with their emotions and how they would like to best be approached about the situation.
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| Posted 1/17/14 8:53 AM |
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babyfever24
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 3340 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tired of people walking on eggshells
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
I know what you mean. But I also feel like they are damned if they do and damned if they don't.
I have been on both sides of this. Where they come out and tell you and are so happy and talking to you as if you don't have IF - this can be crushing and you want them to stop speaking immediately bc you are holding back tears. And then there's the you're the last to find out and you feel like everyone has been sneaking around behind your back. For good reason of course. Not to hurt you, but that hurts too.
It's a sh1tty situation to be in on either side of the coin.
Exactly.
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| Posted 1/17/14 8:58 AM |
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MrsGoldie
<3 Miracles can happen <3
Member since 9/12 1700 total posts
Name:
R
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Re: Tired of people walking on eggshells
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
I know what you mean. But I also feel like they are damned if they do and damned if they don't.
I have been on both sides of this. Where they come out and tell you and are so happy and talking to you as if you don't have IF - this can be crushing and you want them to stop speaking immediately bc you are holding back tears. And then there's the you're the last to find out and you feel like everyone has been sneaking around behind your back. For good reason of course. Not to hurt you, but that hurts too.
It's a sh1tty situation to be in on either side of the coin.
YUP!!!!!
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| Posted 1/17/14 9:40 AM |
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LInMI
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1800 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tired of people walking on eggshells
I'm sorry you're going through this... It's the exact reason I didn't tell anyone (other than family and my BFFs) we went through IVF. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me or my DH.
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| Posted 1/17/14 11:12 AM |
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babydreams21
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 3656 total posts
Name:
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Tired of people walking on eggshells
People don't know what to do. So many people are fertile and would never understand the life of an IF person. We have been on this journey for over 2 years and haven't told anyone. Not telling anyone has its plus and minuses. Plus I don't have to have people walking on eggshells around me and I don't have to answer so many questions. Minus there is nobody to really talk to except on here.
Sorry you are dealing with this. IF sucks
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| Posted 1/17/14 6:27 PM |
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Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tired of people walking on eggshells
I really don't like that either, I can be jealous and happy at the same time. I feel like I missing out on so many things that I can't control I hate missing out on things that can be controlled. And it really does feel crappy if everyone else knows something that is being purposely kept from you, even if the intentions are good.
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| Posted 1/17/14 6:38 PM |
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