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Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

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cj7305
=)

Member since 8/05

12296 total posts

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Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

I'm so sad about this. I'm just looking to be a good support for her. SHe was told she needs to start chemo asap and will eventually need surgery. Wondering if anyone has any advice, doctor recommendations or anything else that might be helpful to her at this time.

Posted 7/30/13 9:29 PM
 
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Bobfan24
LIF Infant

Member since 5/06

250 total posts

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Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

Tell her to try to get in to see a doctor at Sloane Kettering. My co-worker had breast cancer (she was in her 50s), had a mastectomy and chemo, and now has been cancer free for almost 15 years! She really credits Sloane for the good outcome!

Posted 7/30/13 9:39 PM
 

Bamama
LIF Adult

Member since 8/11

991 total posts

Name:

Re: Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

Posted by Bobfan24

Tell her to try to get in to see a doctor at Sloane Kettering. My co-worker had breast cancer (she was in her 50s), had a mastectomy and chemo, and now has been cancer free for almost 15 years! She really credits Sloane for the good outcome!



Yes, I agree. Sloane is the place to be, if possible.
Praying for your friend!

Posted 7/30/13 10:30 PM
 

NewYawkah
2012--A year of new beginnings

Member since 5/05

4402 total posts

Name:

Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

Absolutely Sloane!!! They saved my dad from lung cancer and my brother from leukemia! Chat Icon

Posted 7/30/13 10:55 PM
 

2BirdsofaFeather
Miracles can happen!

Member since 10/10

3319 total posts

Name:

Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

Saying a prayer for our friend.

Posted 7/30/13 11:00 PM
 

cj7305
=)

Member since 8/05

12296 total posts

Name:

Re: Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

Thanks for the feedback and Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon They are needed and appreciated! If anyone has any advice on dealing with the chemo. I'd love to hear it and pass it along.

Posted 7/30/13 11:40 PM
 

WaterGirl
Momma!!!

Member since 1/10

1060 total posts

Name:
Amanda

Re: Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

I just went through this last year with a close friend.
I suggest bringing her light meals the night before her chemo treatments, calling a day or two after each treatment to see how she is (call...don't text or FB, she'll appreciate that much more), let her know often that you are there for her.
Just remember that this time in her life is the worst it will ever be, so be there for her unselfishly. Deep down inside she will need you more than you or her will ever know.
Prayers to your friend and you.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/31/13 7:08 AM
 

peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!

Member since 11/10

5287 total posts

Name:

Re: Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

Praying, praying, praying Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

My mom has been living with breast cancer since 1999. Your friend can fight this!

Posted 7/31/13 7:26 AM
 

greenfreak
.

Member since 9/06

11483 total posts

Name:
greenfreak

Re: Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

Posted by Bobfan24

Tell her to try to get in to see a doctor at Sloane Kettering. My co-worker had breast cancer (she was in her 50s), had a mastectomy and chemo, and now has been cancer free for almost 15 years! She really credits Sloane for the good outcome!



Agreed. My coworker was diagnosed this year, had a double mastectomy, reconstructive surgery, and is now working through chemo. She was only 37 when diagnosed. I will ask her for tips on how to gracefully go through chemo.

We did some googling ourselves and made her a basket with things like a nice warm blanket for her hospital stay/chemo, mint tea and other mint items to avoid 'chemo mouth' and other things. I found a smoothie recipe for healthy stuff that won't encourage nausea (here: http://ruth-worldofcancer.blogspot.com/2011/03/best-chemo-smoothie-recipe-ever.html)...

Keeping her life as uncomplicated as possible during this time would be amazing I'm sure. Baby or pet sitting, gift cards to local restaurants so they don't have to cook, that kind of thing.

I hope your friend comes through this with flying colors. Chat Icon

Posted 7/31/13 8:11 AM
 

LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!

Member since 8/08

9655 total posts

Name:

Re: Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

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I'm so sorry for your friend... She will get through this!!!
My Mom was diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer earlier this year. She just finished Chemo and is gearing up for Radiation. It's been a rough road, but your friend will get through it with the love and support of her friends and family. Where is she located? Dr. Logman in Garden City did my Mom's surgery and she loved her!! She's also going to Winthrop Hematology and Oncology in Mineola and has been very happy with them. Feel free to FM me with any questions!!

Posted 7/31/13 8:42 AM
 

LILady7
LIF Infant

Member since 2/13

337 total posts

Name:

Re: Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

Sending prayers Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/31/13 9:09 AM
 

lvdolphins
My Loves!

Member since 5/05

46292 total posts

Name:

Re: Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

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Posted 7/31/13 9:50 AM
 

tourist

Member since 5/05

10425 total posts

Name:

Re: Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

Honestly, I would avoid offering any sort of advice unless she asks for it.

I actually liked texts--because if I wasn't up for it I could respond later.

One of the best things a close friend did for me, was just treat me like a normal person going through a tough time, and not just a cancer patient.

She made time in her very busy schedule to take me out to dinner before surgery & invited a friend I hadn't seen in awhile & it was excellent to just laugh & be ridiculous for a few hours. We talked about all sorts of things, including the cancer, but not the whole night.

I had to laugh at some things about my condition and she was great for that--we are on the same level with what other might consider inappropriate humor.

Also, offering concrete suggestions of help can be useful-- such as, do you need me to come to an apt with you, do you need a ride to chemo, do you need help cooking, cleaning, watching the kids, etc.

She also sent me ice cream after my surgery which was great--I didn't even know you could do that.

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Posted 7/31/13 10:38 AM
 

ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls

Member since 2/09

20494 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

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Posted 7/31/13 10:39 AM
 

AngnShaun
Sisters

Member since 1/10

21015 total posts

Name:
Ang

Re: Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

A friend of ours was diagnosed with cancer as well... she has 2 kids and a bunch of us got gift cards to local food places so that she didnt have to cook while she was going through Chemo.

Posted 7/31/13 10:40 AM
 

sunnyflies
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

1757 total posts

Name:

Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

Breast cancer is not a death sentence, nor is its treatment as bad as I thought it was going to be when I went through it last year. Encourage your friend to think positively and to keep her spirits up. A good attitude is powerful medicine. It will help her enormously as she moves through her treatment in the months ahead.

I second going to Memorial Sloan Kettering (MSK). There is a reason it is world renown. Persuade her to go there for a second opinion, if she is not already at one of its centers. Because it is a leading Cancer Center, many insurances cover all of its treatments 100%. Believe me, insurance is important, so tell her to check with her's to be certain EVERYTHING is covered. Mine even covered co-pays at MSK, which it didn't at other places, and I have good insurance. So have her double check her insurance benefits.

Send her to www.breastcancer.org to learn about breast cancer and going through treatment. It has lots of solid information for the newly diagnosed - MSK recommended it to me as did NY Hospital's Breast Center. Its forums are wonderful places to ask questions, not just when just diagnosed, but all throughout treatment. The women on there are from all over the world, are very supportive of each other, and do their best to share information about cancer, its treatments and tips for getting through it all. I learned a tremendous amount through them including what other tests to also ask for - I asked for and got an Oncotype genome test, how to keep my hair through chemo, how to protect my nails from chemo damage (ice both hands and feet during the Taxotere infusions) and for practical advice on how to handle chemo's side effects - Like getting a prescription for EMEND for nausea.

Tell her to bring a notebook to every appointment, write everything down and keep a file with all of her records. I learned from the ladies online to carry a folder with copies of my records with me to my appointments and often it was useful.


I went to Dr Alexandra Heerdt at MSK for surgery. It took about a week to get an appointment with her as she is so well known - I just spotted her on TV recently. I actually called her secretary daily looking for a cancellation as she was booked weeks ahead. Once I saw her things moved quickly. I was very pleased with how everything was handled from extensive testing to surgery and my scaring is minimal.

That said, I decided I wanted to try to save my hair during chemotherapy by using Cold Caps and at the time MSK would not allow them to be used. (MSK has since changed its policy and women can use them now.) So I switched to New York Hospital's Weill Cornell Breast Center for chemo where they were allowed, and where I met other women who had used them. I went back to MSK for radiation.

If your friend wants to keep her hair, as I was able to do, and not have to go bald, she should go to the following sites to learn more. There is a choice now:

www.rapunzelproject.org
www.penguincoldcaps.com
http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/6/topic/735873?page=303#idx_9090

Using cold caps is not easy, and they are expensive at about $450 a month, so may not be a choice for everyone, but it was worth it for me to keep my hair. Not for vanity sake, but because our hair is so closely linked with our identities. Our hair is part of how we see ourselves every day and I did not want to lose mine and see a sick looking stranger in each mirror and reflection. Some young moms use cold caps to keep their hair so their children do not see "sick Mommy", some people use them so that those around them, especially those at work, do not know they are sick. I think my family felt better about me as I looked like myself, although grey and wan at times. Chemo is rough.

The Doctors TV program featured cold caps on its May 2nd program this year and has the clip in its archives. Try searching by date or by cold caps. I will say that they are more effective with Taxotere/Cytoxan chemotherapy than the harsher ACT, but as many women get T/C those women stand a good chance of keeping their hair.

Best of luck to your friend!

Message edited 7/31/2013 11:30:51 AM.

Posted 7/31/13 11:15 AM
 

cj7305
=)

Member since 8/05

12296 total posts

Name:

Re: Good friend just diagnosed with breast cancer

I'm so appreciative of all the great info and well wishes. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/31/13 2:11 PM
 
 

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