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Would this offend you?

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mrsboss
my little love

Member since 12/09

5054 total posts

Name:
Me

Would this offend you?

Wouldn't offend me. I am looking out for my overall enjoyability of taking my DD to a party and the guests too. My kid is a monster w/o a nap, so for everyone's sake, I'd just bring her late.
(2 weeks ago, we went to a bday party and had to leave because DD was driving me completely insane with her tantrums and behavior, all because she didn't nap).

Posted 2/20/13 10:58 AM
 
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Re: Would this offend you?

I think if it was my BFF it would and I would say something bc I am close to my BFF and would be comfortable saying something like 'really BFF, come on its DS's birthday, dont have your LO miss the best part'.

Posted 2/20/13 11:00 AM
 

nferrandi
too excited for words

Member since 10/05

18538 total posts

Name:
Nicole

Re: Would this offend you?

My party is from 11am-12:30. Her son is 18 months and practically like family to my kids. I know for a fact that she's even trying to get him to take just one afternoon nap, so I can't understand the need for a morning nap that day. My kids think of him as a cousin and will be disappointed if he is not there. I guess that's why I'm a little put off about it.

Posted 2/20/13 11:03 AM
 

BargainMama
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

15657 total posts

Name:

Re: Would this offend you?

I never lived my life around nap time, so I personally think she is being silly. Her child is missing the fun, the main focal point of the party. Her loss though

Posted 2/20/13 11:03 AM
 

KevinNKristin8-15-08
Welcome to the world Chase

Member since 9/08

6162 total posts

Name:
Kristin

Would this offend you?

No I wouldn't be offended unless she missed the entire party.

Posted 2/20/13 11:03 AM
 

Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy

Member since 3/08

10420 total posts

Name:
Momx100

Re: Would this offend you?

Posted by nferrandi

My party is from 11am-12:30. Her son is 18 months and practically like family to my kids. I know for a fact that she's even trying to get him to take just one afternoon nap, so I can't understand the need for a morning nap that day. My kids think of him as a cousin and will be disappointed if he is not there. I guess that's why I'm a little put off about it.



Is it her first and only child?

I used to revolve our worlds around my son's naptime when I only had 1 child.

We have a new friend who has a child that age. They never make morning plans with us because their child goes down at 11 for a nap.

Don't feel offended.

eta: i only had 1 mommy friend when DS#1 was born. Our friends never understood why we would not meet them for lunch at lunchtime. It was in the middle of naptime for DS. I remember being pisssssed when we were trying to meet DH's friends for brunch and they ran 30 min late. Pre-kids that is not a big deal but when you have a fussy kid who is missing a nap, it was a big deal. For a very long time, DH and I would only go out solo and one parent would stay home with DS. Now we make it work as a family but we had 4 years to learn not to revolve our lives our nap schedules.

Message edited 2/20/2013 11:30:14 AM.

Posted 2/20/13 11:07 AM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

Re: Would this offend you?

Posted by nferrandi

My party is from 11am-12:30. Her son is 18 months and practically like family to my kids. I know for a fact that she's even trying to get him to take just one afternoon nap, so I can't understand the need for a morning nap that day. My kids think of him as a cousin and will be disappointed if he is not there. I guess that's why I'm a little put off about it.



Whether you understand the need for a mornign nap or not is not really for you to understand.

She has a routine for her child and she makes her decisions. SHe was honest and up front and said she is not missing the entire party.

Its just not that big a deal IMO to get worked up about.

Posted 2/20/13 11:11 AM
 

missfabulous
#mommyneedswine

Member since 6/09

10031 total posts

Name:
Colleen

Would this offend you?

I would slightly upset and disapointed, but I wouldnt go as far to say I would be offended.

Posted 2/20/13 11:30 AM
 

headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07

42079 total posts

Name:
LB

Re: Would this offend you?

Posted by alli3131

Posted by nferrandi

My party is from 11am-12:30. Her son is 18 months and practically like family to my kids. I know for a fact that she's even trying to get him to take just one afternoon nap, so I can't understand the need for a morning nap that day. My kids think of him as a cousin and will be disappointed if he is not there. I guess that's why I'm a little put off about it.



Whether you understand the need for a mornign nap or not is not really for you to understand.

She has a routine for her child and she makes her decisions. SHe was honest and up front and said she is not missing the entire party.

Its just not that big a deal IMO to get worked up about.



Agreed. This is her kid, and her schedule. Your party is about your kid. Two different things. Why exactly is it such a big deal for her to be there on time? Especially if he's only 18 months old.

Posted 2/20/13 11:38 AM
 

MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS

Member since 6/10

5483 total posts

Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!

Re: Would this offend you?

offened no. annoyed yes.

we went to a baptism party this past Sunday which is when tiny tot gets a nap. I don't want to be one of those parents that have my childs napping schedule rule the day. Going forward I will do my best to let the host know about tiny tots schedule and leave it up to them if they don't mind a sleppy/crazy baby and if not a tiny spot for her to nap in.

Posted 2/20/13 11:38 AM
 

2BadSoSad
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

6791 total posts

Name:

Re: Would this offend you?

Posted by alli3131

Posted by nferrandi

My party is from 11am-12:30. Her son is 18 months and practically like family to my kids. I know for a fact that she's even trying to get him to take just one afternoon nap, so I can't understand the need for a morning nap that day. My kids think of him as a cousin and will be disappointed if he is not there. I guess that's why I'm a little put off about it.



Whether you understand the need for a mornign nap or not is not really for you to understand.

She has a routine for her child and she makes her decisions. SHe was honest and up front and said she is not missing the entire party.

Its just not that big a deal IMO to get worked up about.



This, its not for you to understand. She is their mother and is doing what SHE feels is best. Not for you to understand.

Posted 2/20/13 11:45 AM
 

Ltdentway99
LIF Adult

Member since 9/06

1752 total posts

Name:

Re: Would this offend you?

Posted by headoverheels

Would not offend me in the least. It's not taking away from *MY* DS's party to not have a friend there. It's about my kid, not anyone else's. I'll be honest, I'm not sure what there is to be offended about.



Chat Icon

Posted 2/20/13 11:48 AM
 

sleepie76
enjoying every minute

Member since 12/07

3881 total posts

Name:

Re: Would this offend you?

Posted by nferrandi

My party is from 11am-12:30. Her son is 18 months and practically like family to my kids. I know for a fact that she's even trying to get him to take just one afternoon nap, so I can't understand the need for a morning nap that day. My kids think of him as a cousin and will be disappointed if he is not there. I guess that's why I'm a little put off about it.



He'll be there. Just later on.

your son will be so busy with his friends in that party bus, he wont even notice he isnt there yet.


Or perhaps.... she wants to skip the party bus with an 18 month old. Nervous about him being in there with bigger kids ? Which I dont blame her.

Either way enjoy your party &have a good time.

Posted 2/20/13 1:19 PM
 

SurpriseNo3
LIF Infant

Member since 1/13

163 total posts

Name:
Booger

Re: Would this offend you?

Posted by jlk51496

i would be a little annoyed...I can't see naps dictating my life...I never got it..I had great nappers BUT we would never miss something bec of a nap...either they go in earlier, it is shortened a little, or they nap after the party...(which is usally what I pick bec they are so tired after a fn-filled party!) IT's one day - tomorrow naps can be back to routine! Chat Icon



This is how I feel.

Posted 2/20/13 1:39 PM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13103 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Would this offend you?

Honestly I'm all for naps but I really don't see the big deal in having your DC change/skip naps one day. If I were you I would be upset too. A close friend birthday party/family function, etc trumps a nap. For a small baby they can nap in their stroller. Then again I was never one to revolve my schedule around DDs naps so I can't understand where your friend is coming from.

Posted 2/20/13 2:15 PM
 

Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/12

809 total posts

Name:

Re: Would this offend you?

Posted by jacquig

Honestly I'm all for naps but I really don't see the big deal in having your DC change/skip naps one day. If I were you I would be upset too. A close friend birthday party/family function, etc trumps a nap. For a small baby they can nap in their stroller. Then again I was never one to revolve my schedule around DDs naps so I can't understand where your friend is coming from.



This!

Posted 2/20/13 4:34 PM
 

Teachergal
We made a snowman!

Member since 1/08

3239 total posts

Name:

Re: Would this offend you?

I see people saying things like "I don't revolve my schedule around DC's nap schedule" but sometimes it's not about that. It's about the fact that when the child doesn't take a nap, it makes life miserable for everyone around them. So for those parents, it isn't about revolving your schedule around naptime, it's about allowing everyone, including your child, to have a peaceful afternoon. You have to just know your kid. To the OP, I had one of those kids. I could try to just go to the party, but DS would be miserable, I would be miserable and I would imagine then you would feel guilty for having me come to the party and end up being miserable. Bad for all!

Posted 2/20/13 7:40 PM
 

Karen
Just chillin'!!

Member since 1/06

9690 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: Would this offend you?

At 18mos old you wouldn't want to be within 2 miles of my DS if he didn't nap, so I wouldn't be offended. Every child is different.

I also agree with a PP that 18mos for the party bus is a bit young, and she might be concerned about the older kids.

Posted 2/20/13 7:42 PM
 

gina409
TWINS!

Member since 12/09

27635 total posts

Name:
g

Re: Would this offend you?

for me the question is if she brings him and he does not nap and screams would you like that

how is he without the nap? if he is going to be cranky then its not worth it kwim>

Posted 2/20/13 9:17 PM
 

headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07

42079 total posts

Name:
LB

Re: Would this offend you?

Posted by jacquig

Honestly I'm all for naps but I really don't see the big deal in having your DC change/skip naps one day. If I were you I would be upset too. A close friend birthday party/family function, etc trumps a nap. For a small baby they can nap in their stroller. Then again I was never one to revolve my schedule around DDs naps so I can't understand where your friend is coming from.



I was the same way with DS! But then DD came along. And all hell broke lose. You wouldn't want her within 10 miles of your party if she hadn't napped Chat Icon

Posted 2/20/13 9:18 PM
 

AllyMally
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/13

881 total posts

Name:
Alyson

Would this offend you?

I would be hurt, but I would understand. Having small kids I try to plan my parties around them and if we have family with kids coming. Your party time would be right in the middle of my youngest nap. I guess I feel like if I were having smaller kids I would push the party back if it were that important they were there the entire party. If they are your best friends why can't they stay longer and play then? Yes he may miss the bus but he;'ll be there for food, cake and gifts. He won't even know he missed the bus and your DS will still have a great time.

Posted 2/20/13 9:50 PM
 

Tine73

Member since 3/06

22093 total posts

Name:
*********

Re: Would this offend you?

Posted by jlk51496

i would be a little annoyed...I can't see naps dictating my life...I never got it..I had great nappers BUT we would never miss something bec of a nap...either they go in earlier, it is shortened a little, or they nap after the party...(which is usally what I pick bec they are so tired after a fn-filled party!) IT's one day - tomorrow naps can be back to routine! Chat Icon



ITA! I would be upset if it was a good friend and if she's usually not a nap nazi.

Posted 2/20/13 11:25 PM
 

PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys

Member since 1/07

2963 total posts

Name:
Jess

Re: Would this offend you?

Posted by Karen

At 18mos old you wouldn't want to be within 2 miles of my DS if he didn't nap, so I wouldn't be offended. Every child is different.

I also agree with a PP that 18mos for the party bus is a bit young, and she might be concerned about the older kids.




I agree with this.

I would NOT put my 18 month olds on a party bus with older kids.

Posted 2/20/13 11:40 PM
 

JenandMikey
life is good =)

Member since 5/07

4216 total posts

Name:
We're so blessed!

Re: Would this offend you?

Posted by Hofstra26

I understand you wanting her there but I also very much understand a parent who doesn't want their child missing a nap. My DD was like clockwork with her naps and simply couldn't function without them so I get her not wanting to have him miss his nap. It's easy to say, "he can take a nap later", but that isn't always the case. I think as a fellow parent you need to be understanding, I am sure she would love to be there but sometimes you need to do what's best for your child above all else.

So no, I wouldn't be offended, I think that's the wrong word. I would be disappointed she couldn't be there but I would also be understanding. Kids change things, I hated missing things when my DD was little but sometimes it was just unavoidable. Chat Icon



Exactly!!! Both of my girls had meltdowns baddddd if I would make their naps earlier cut them short or skip them altogether and I learned really quick that other people's opinions looks comments eye rolls etc didn't mean a damn thing bc I know my children and I would rather not have them meltdown and have to deal with that let alone have everyone else feel uncomfortable at the party and then most likely have to leave the party early just so that other people are happy....I learned my children are my top priority so no I wouldn't be offended at all I would just understand that all parents have different routines things that come up and reasons for not making it to functions I might feel bad they don't make it but not offended like they did anything on purpose to hurt me or my child by not attending

Message edited 2/21/2013 8:22:37 AM.

Posted 2/21/13 8:18 AM
 

JenandMikey
life is good =)

Member since 5/07

4216 total posts

Name:
We're so blessed!

Re: Would this offend you?

Oops

Message edited 2/21/2013 8:22:02 AM.

Posted 2/21/13 8:20 AM
 
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