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toniV
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/11 586 total posts
Name:
T
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
The picture thing is def weird and would bother me... I guess I could understand them being uncomfortable holding the babies when they were so little-- but I dunno.
Considering that there isn't even a picture of you and your husband in the boys' room, they should've asked you before just putting their picture up in there.
Not to be immature or anything and not sure if this would start a fight, but maybe put a picture of you and your husband in the babies' room too, maybe even like next to the picture that your in-laws put there and see if MIL or FIL notice and say something?? Obvi if it would start some major brawl then maybe not.
GL!
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Posted 10/10/12 10:14 AM  |
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toniV
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/11 586 total posts
Name:
T
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
Posted by lil-bambina
Oh yeah, & I forgot to mention that my daughter's middle name is Nicole and is named after my father who passed. The first time my mother-in-law came over for a visit she said to my daughter "We are going to change your middle name to sunshine" knowing that she is named after my father. That really upset me and got me worrying what else is she going to tell my kids when I am not there.
Just saw this--- and it made me so angry and upset for you after I read it. I don't even know what I would do- I would see red. What did you say??? Did DH hear this?
I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you more angry or anything- but that comment is 100% unacceptable and you're owed an apology.
JMO
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| Posted 10/10/12 10:18 AM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
Name:
MrsDrMatt
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
You are over-reacting.
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| Posted 10/10/12 10:38 AM |
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
Quite frankly I'd be pissed if anyone put a picture up anywhere in my house without asking. That is just rude and out of line. As for the other stuff, I think it depends on your relationship with the IL's in general. I wouldn't like DH's relatives only coming over when I wasn't there, especially since they seem to have some boundary issues. I would have to hash this all out with them, but that's just me.
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| Posted 10/10/12 10:54 AM |
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ModDot
PUMPKIN ALL THE THINGS
Member since 8/11 2196 total posts
Name:
Trissy
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Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
I just don't understand why they would only put a picture in your sons room and not your daughters? The whole thing is weird and would irk me to no end but I probably wouldn't say anything and see how it played out.
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| Posted 10/10/12 12:04 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
i wouldnt stress too much over the picture or the slippers. i'd focus on why they only come over when you're not there? what does that say about your relationship? what does your DH say about it?
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| Posted 10/10/12 12:26 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
I am biased based on my IL relationship so I'm admitedly hypersensitive .....but I don't think you're overreacting.
to me (and again, this is probably completely biased b/c of my own experiences) it seems like your ILs want to be w/ the babies, but not you ......so, they'll come over everyday and spend the day w/ their son and grandchildren, make themselves at home .......but leave when you are around .......they'll help him during the day, but not help you as well by letting the two of you go to dinner?
The slippers thing - would annoy me b/c I'd look at as again, she's making herself at home in MY home but only while I'm not there ......
(my MIL is even worse and only does this when me AND DH are not home ie - my BIL or SIL are babysitting)
The picture thing would make me INSANE. I probably wouldn't say anything, but I'd be sure to add to the photos of the rest of the family - You/DH, other grandparents, Aunt/Uncles etc.
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| Posted 10/10/12 12:31 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
I have to be honest...I think the picture thing is actually nice...I don't see it was weird or offensive in the least. If it were a HUGE portrait put over the crib, yeah, WEIRD. But a little picture of them on a dresser? That really bothers you??
I think you need to pick and choose your battles. Grandparents that love their grandkids are a wonderful thing.
I think that you are probably overreacting due to hormones or just feeling exhausted..we all have weird moments of thinking way into things too much, but let the picture thing go. Put up other pics so its not the only one you see but take it as a sweet gesture. When grandparents are gone, you and your kids will miss them (if they've been good grandparents).
I would have been more weirded out that they didn't hold the babies for so long..I just always think grandparents are the ones rushing over to hold them but i agree with others..they were prob nervous for some reason.
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| Posted 10/10/12 12:32 PM |
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Odie12
LIF Zygote
Member since 10/12 11 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
OK ... lesson #1:
People over 55 always say they will do this, they will do that .. make it like they are big shots and do not follow through. My mother offered to pay for ice sculptures at our wedding until she found out how much they cost. She offered to pay for her grandchildren to go Disney ... I do not see that happening because when I gave her a suggestion to buy a $20.00 educational toy for DS because he receives therapy she said that my Dad does not make that kind of money then proceeds to buy a $40k car and $1500 dog from the pet store.
Also you need to think about it ... you are going to leave an older couple with two newborn babies. I would not want it. My 70 year old mother offered to watch my 2.5 year old son and two month old infant. DH and I have not been out to dinner alone in over 6 months. Sorry,but this is part of being a parent. Let it go .. you are overreacting a bit. They are nervous about handling the babies, until they saw them they thought they could. Older people forget what it is like.
Message edited 10/10/2012 2:00:35 PM.
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| Posted 10/10/12 1:58 PM |
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Odie12
LIF Zygote
Member since 10/12 11 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
Posted by nraboni
Posted by lil-bambina
Oh yeah, & I forgot to mention that my daughter's middle name is Nicole and is named after my father who passed. The first time my mother-in-law came over for a visit she said to my daughter "We are going to change your middle name to sunshine" knowing that she is named after my father. That really upset me and got me worrying what else is she going to tell my kids when I am not there.
Of all the things you mentioned, this would pi$$ me off the most!
I understand them being uncomfortable about holding the babies in front of you.
Like other PP's have said...mothers give off a "don't mess with my child" vibe that most fathers don't. The slipper and picture thing probably would have bothered me at first but I would have gotten over it because I like that they are being thoughtful to not wear their shoes in the house and I like the idea of having pictures of Grandparents in the babies rooms.
But to make a comment about your DD's middle name, knowing you named her after your Dad would really upset me. I lost my mom and also gave my DD her middle name and if my MIL EVER made a comment like that I would have lost my sh$t!
to lil-bambina: And you want these people to watch your kids? They take it upon themselves to change YOUR child's MN and you want them to watch them?
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| Posted 10/10/12 2:04 PM |
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lil-bambina
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 154 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
The fact of the matter is, is that they don't come over to help. If they DID, you are right they should feel comfortable.
You are right , I am going to put a family picture in the room instead.
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| Posted 10/10/12 2:27 PM |
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lil-bambina
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 154 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
I was stunned when she said that I didn't know what to say. If she does it again I am certainly going to say something.
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| Posted 10/10/12 2:33 PM |
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lil-bambina
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 154 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
Yes! They are very weird to begin with.
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| Posted 10/10/12 2:37 PM |
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HoneymoonBaby
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/11 635 total posts
Name:
CJ
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Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
You have to let it go....my MIL does some things that I think are passive aggressive but, I let it go because I don't want to start any drama. Instead, I just complain to my mother.....lol
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| Posted 10/10/12 2:40 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
They do sound a little odd.
The picture and slipper things would not bother me. A little weird, but not a big deal.
The not holding the babies thing reminds me of my Dad. He LOVES his grandsons but was totally strange and would not hold them/handle them as really young infants. They were born a regular size too, not preemie.
He did get more comfortable once they were a few months old.
The only thing you mentioned that would really bother me, is the middle name thing your MIL said. I would have an issue with that, and would maybe have my DH say something to her.
Sorry you are dealing with this
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| Posted 10/10/12 2:40 PM |
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lil-bambina
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 154 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
My husband didn't hear it and I didn't know how to react because I was caught off guard and was shocked it was even said. I ignored it, but to this day it stills pisses me off. I know that if it happens again in the future, I am certainly going to say something. You are right and I deserve an apology for being disrespected in my home in front of my children. Most of all, I am scared when I am not around in the future and they are alone with my kids what else would be said!
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| Posted 10/10/12 2:47 PM |
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lil-bambina
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 154 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
I don't want them to watch them anymore after all that has happened!!
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| Posted 10/10/12 2:49 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I really think you are overreacting. The things they are doing are so not a big deal.
ITA.
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| Posted 10/10/12 2:51 PM |
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lil-bambina
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 154 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
MarisaK that is exactly how I feel!
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| Posted 10/10/12 2:52 PM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
Well the picture thing is just a tad odd. But i wouldnt get mad over it. And my mil has 3 pairs of slippers at my house. I throw them in the closet when shes not there .out of sight out of mind LOL :)
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| Posted 10/10/12 3:00 PM |
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
The picture would bug me BUT what would really bother me is that they cant even give you a break to let you and your DH go out for a few hours? That's insane! They are babies what can really happen - they obviously have had kids before so they really cant handle changing a diaper or anything? I would ask my DH to confront them on that...
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| Posted 10/10/12 3:08 PM |
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jam11308
Member since 11/07 7273 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
Posted by alli3131
I think you are overreacting but that is only based on my relatiobnship and how I run my home etc.
THe slippers - i wouldn't care. Just put them in the closet when they are not there. SO many people have a no shoes house and if I did I would be happy that they were followign the rules.
THe picture - Who cares. My DS has Pics of his grandparents but not us. He sees us all the time what does he need a pic of us for and he does not see his GP all the time.
THe holding the kids. People are different. Them holding my baby or not would not affect my life in one bit....they are the ones missing out.
I agree with this poster. As for the middle name thing, was she being lovey when she said it? Kind of like "Aw baby you're my sunshine!!" If she had said "We're changing your middle name to Michelle" or another real name I'd definitely be bothered, but she said "sunshine" which makes me think she was just being lovey dovey & not trying to offend or disrespect you.
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| Posted 10/10/12 3:14 PM |
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stargazerlily
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/11 706 total posts
Name:
Lara
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Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
I don't go to my MIL house, or anyone's house for that matter, and put my picture up. There are great baby toys now where you can put family pictures in them. This would have been more appropriate, and I think you should just take it upon yourself to get one of those things and put the picture in there. All of these things would bother me because lately I just can't seem to understand why people can't just be normal. Read cues, be honest, and do what's right. IT'S NOT THAT HARD! Sorry, that turned into a little rant of my own.
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| Posted 10/10/12 5:27 PM |
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MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
My own mother was afraid to hold her only granddaughter, my dd. she literally was simply scared but got over it pretty quickly. Now she won't put her down  maybe it took them a little bit longer to come around? Maybe they were extra nervous thinking the mommy might not like something they did, etc.
I don't think there's anything bad about the picture. That I'm not quite understanding. Maybe if they don't get to see your child often, they feel like at least she can see a picture OF them KWIM?
I really think they are just nervous to watch her alone... Its prob been quite a while since they've been around an itty bitty baby 
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| Posted 10/10/12 5:48 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Crazy in-laws or am I overreacting?
Posted by jam11308
As for the middle name thing, was she being lovey when she said it? Kind of like "Aw baby you're my sunshine!!" If she had said "We're changing your middle name to Michelle" or another real name I'd definitely be bothered, but she said "sunshine" which makes me think she was just being lovey dovey & not trying to offend or disrespect you.
I agree with this..
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| Posted 10/10/12 5:51 PM |
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