Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

So my DD is 7 weeks olds. I was EBF (except for two bottles- b/c i pump twice a day)

Honestly, I feel so lost with what I want to do. I feel bad that I REALLY DO NOT ENJOY breastfeeding. I feel guilty that I am thinking of not continuing...but i am finding myself so upset and venting all day about how long I spend feeding her.

She takes a VERY LONG time to eat. I now find myself feeding her for about an hour plus. ( usually about 1hour and 15 minutes..). She eats about every 3 hrs. Then I pump first thing in the morning ( then give a bottle) and then pump after the dinner time feeding. I feel like she is on the breast for so long...then by the time she is done I have only about an hour left before the next feeding. Also I am not comfortable BF in front of a lot of people...so when visitors are over I ended up pumping anyways

We are using the nipple shield..( which may be why she takes a long time) I have tried without but she was screaming through out the feedings. I think I have a heavy spray and maybe over supply? So I went back to the nipple shield. Then I tried emptying one breast at a time..

I am thinking of just pumping and giving her a bottle. That would cut down the time I spend feeding her. If I decide to do this...do I just replace all of my feedings with pumping??? AND WILL I GET THE SAME SUPPLY? I guess I am afraid I will produce less milk from pumping than EB...( and that I will end up having to supplement with formula). Must I pump every 3 hrs....or can I spread it out to every 4hrs??

NOT sure what I am looking for. Maybe just to vent..or to know other's felt the same... Maybe that pumping will be a lot easier??


Thank you if you have gotten this far!!!

Message edited 2/7/2011 3:47:49 PM.

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

First:

You've already been doing this WAY longer than me, so for what it's worth I'll give you my take. DD (3wks) couldn't latch so I've only been pumping - the lactation consultant told me that I would just replace all her feedings with pumped milk - and yes you would get the same supply, make sure you empty out your breasts at each pumping sessions. At first I was pumping every 2-3 hours (8-10 pumpings/day) to make sure my supply came in, but I've been able to extend it to 4 (6 pumpings/day - roughly 30ozs) hours and I've been getting the same amount.

Since I never BF I can't tell you if pumping is easier, but I was ready to quit b/c you're doing double the work - pumping the milk, then bottle feeding her. Now that I'm only pumping 6 times a day, it's been a LOT better. I'm hoping to cut it down to 4-5 by the end of this month.

Feel better!!

ETA: Don't feel bad about not enjoying bfing! I HATE pumping and if there's anything I learned from the wise ladies here, it's that you should do what feels right to you. As DH says: happy wife, happy life. I think the same applies for a happy mom.

Message edited 2/7/2011 3:56:20 PM.

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

first of all, no one tells you how much work bf is! i know i had no idea and was shocked and feeling very guilty that i was not loving breastfeeding like i thought i should have been. i found myself being very resentful that i spent all of my time nursing and my husband/family couldn't help me by taking over feedings.
i personally hated pumping and never got a lot anyway. i kept telling myself i was going to stop bf and switch to formula so that i would be able to enjoy life more and here i am with a one year old ds who is still nursing once a day. i would say that by 4 months i was loving bf. i am very modest but was whipping them out and feeding him anywhere. i still love that time with my boy.
my only advice is that it is HARD work, keep it up as long as you think you can, and do not feel guilty about stopping if that is right for you. you are a supermom for making it this far. congratulations to you!

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

I have two DC and two very different BF experiences. With my first I was on the fence about BF. It was not something women in my family did. I decided at the last minute to give it a try. I had a very difficult time with it. DD did not latch well, I had a hard time adjusting to my new role, I had a lot of breast/feeding related issues. BF made me miserable, I never got that wonderful feeling mothers talk about when nursing their child, I hated every minute. After about 1 month, I decided it was not the right choice for my family to continue with BF. My DD is a very happy, healthy and extremely bright 2 1/2 year old.

With my second DD I decided that I wanted to try BF again. I had many of the same issues with BF this time around but I wasn't miserable. I loved nursing her and I was determined to make it work and I am very glad I did. DD is now seven months old and mainly BF, we supplement with formula here and there. I have an oversupply, too much foremilk, forceful letdown and cystic breast that all made it a challenge. Sticking with BF was the right choice for my family this time around. She is happy, relativity healthy (way more colds and stuff then my first ever had but she also has a sibling in nursery school) and hit all her milestones early or on time so far.

The moral of the story is make the right decision for your family. A happy mother really does make for a happy baby. Formula is not evil and it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Being a mom is hard.

ETA: I felt pumping was way harder and more time consuming. When you pump you still have to take the time to feed the baby a bottle, so it is like doing double the work for the same end result.

Message edited 2/7/2011 4:13:08 PM.

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

I agree that BF/puming is a lot of work ...in the beginning...but it gets easier I PROMISE!!!

THere is a magic 2 month hump that you need to get over and then it become A LOT easier! They dont nurse as long and they are more sufficient at getting the milk out faster...

At 7 weeks, if you are feeding for an hour, guarantee a lot of that is comfort nursing and your DC might be using you as a paci! I would listen for active sucking and do about 10 minutes on each breast! This is usually a good amount....then later on they will tell you when they are done! "Active sucking is actuall swallowing, not just sucking lke a paci, you will get used to the difference!

It is a lot harder to keep your supply up with pumping bec the machne is not efficent as a baby, so it is harder work...in the beginning every three hours is recommended to makre sure you fully establish a supply..it may still be a little too early to push it to longer stretches...but eventually that will happen too!

I promise you it does get easier...I almost wanted to give up...but after two months that was all forgotten!

good luck!

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

If you are taking that long to feed (my girls never took that long - they ate often but not for more than a few minutes at a time) - I could see why it could be very frustrating. Could you - start cutting back the feedings that you do and instead pump (which might be faster if she eats slowly) or supplement with formula couple of feedings. If you are really committed to BFing -you could technically just BF 2-3 times a day (1st morning - afternoon and say last feeding or before bed) and then supplement with the rest if you feel guilty about stopping all together - and just wean her slowly? The only thing is that it might mess up your supply but you won't know unless you give it a try. There is nothing wrong with stopping if it is making you and her miserable. It won't help her if you are not happy kwim?

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

I agree with the others who said she is most likely using you as a pacifier. I would make sure her lips are flared over your nipple and part of the areola, watch for jaw movement and listen for swallowing.

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

Posted by Lillykat

If you are taking that long to feed (my girls never took that long - they ate often but not for more than a few minutes at a time) - I could see why it could be very frustrating. Could you - start cutting back the feedings that you do and instead pump (which might be faster if she eats slowly) or supplement with formula couple of feedings. If you are really committed to BFing -you could technically just BF 2-3 times a day (1st morning - afternoon and say last feeding or before bed) and then supplement with the rest if you feel guilty about stopping all together - and just wean her slowly? The only thing is that it might mess up your supply but you won't know unless you give it a try. There is nothing wrong with stopping if it is making you and her miserable. It won't help her if you are not happy kwim?

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

Here is my "standard" reply to new BFing moms:

First, I'd like to give you some ...and inspriation:

I EBF DS for 15 months until I weaned him, it can be done

I'm no professional but here are my suggestions:

The more you supplement with formula, the less time DC spends latched, = less milk production. By supplementing and DC not at the breast your body is thinking DC is eating less. So you are actually decreasing your supply.

BFing is the best way to help/prevent jaundice. DS was jaundice his first week and although the hospital told me to supplement 2oz of formula at each feeding I ignored them.

Try to remove all suckling items from DC's day except the breast. Don't give pacis, bottles, etc. The aforementioned require a different latch than the breast and could be confusing DC. I know this sounds impossible at 2:51am, but for the next few days really focus on BFing alone. Don't worry about laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc...it will all still be there once you have a BFing champ! Nap when DC naps so you have that extra umph at 5:59am.

Your nipples may be sore because DC isn't latching properly. Make sure majority of the bottom part of your nipple is in DC mouth. DS latched like a champ from the beginning, then around 3 weeks my nipples were so sore they felt like they were burning. I discussed it with my sister (who was at the time EBFing her 3rd) and she said "check your latch". Sure enough I had gotten too confident and he wasn't latching properly.

Also, try to nurse "ahead" of the feeding. For the first 2 weeks (especially because DS was jaundice) I would set an alarm. Every hour and a half I would wake him up and put him on the breast (even at night). If you get to it before hunger strikes they are more patient and willing to work on their latch. Versus being ravenous pigs

Maybe change how you are holding DC at the breast. For the first month I could only BF Ryan in the football hold. My breasts are/were large (38DD). I felt like the cradle hold suffocated Ryan and I wasn't quite coordinated enough to move my breast away from his tiny nose.

Pumping.....only pump (before 6 weeks) if you want to increase your supply. And make it a habit/schedule (most pumpers get the most in the morning since babies usually go their longest stretch between feedings at night). I was never a successful pumper, and only kept a few days worth of bottles in the freezer gosh forbid there is an emergency.

To also increase your supply make sure you are drinking at least one 8oz glass of water at each nursing session. (Don't forget to drink water in between as well). Add oatmeal to your diet. And there are a few good health food stores (Trader Joes, Whole Foods, etc) that carry a tea called "Mother's Milk". I never actually used it, but have heard great things.

Lastly, don't get discouraged. I know easier said than done but we have all been there. Especially in the beginning. They cluster feed, and cry, and you begin to feel like a cow. Anytime you get frustrated, drop me an FM...I'll boost your confidence You'd be surprised at what a "I think you are doing an amazing job" can do!

Oh, and one final note. Don't EVER feel like a failure. Ultimately only YOU, the MOTHER, know what is best for your DC. Go with your gut and stick with it! If your gut is telling you to stick with it, I say go for it!

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

it sounds to me that your baby is having a growth spurt which is why she is feeding for so long! Pumping is a lot of effort too, especially if you are not BFing...so just be careful with your supply if you decided to exclusively pump! (from my own experience!)Also, there is nothing wrong with formula either!

Message edited 2/7/2011 8:28:34 PM.

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

Posted by sunflowerjesss

Here is my "standard" reply to new BFing moms:

First, I'd like to give you some ...and inspriation:

I EBF DS for 15 months until I weaned him, it can be done

I'm no professional but here are my suggestions:

The more you supplement with formula, the less time DC spends latched, = less milk production. By supplementing and DC not at the breast your body is thinking DC is eating less. So you are actually decreasing your supply.

BFing is the best way to help/prevent jaundice. DS was jaundice his first week and although the hospital told me to supplement 2oz of formula at each feeding I ignored them.

Try to remove all suckling items from DC's day except the breast. Don't give pacis, bottles, etc. The aforementioned require a different latch than the breast and could be confusing DC. I know this sounds impossible at 2:51am, but for the next few days really focus on BFing alone. Don't worry about laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc...it will all still be there once you have a BFing champ! Nap when DC naps so you have that extra umph at 5:59am.

Your nipples may be sore because DC isn't latching properly. Make sure majority of the bottom part of your nipple is in DC mouth. DS latched like a champ from the beginning, then around 3 weeks my nipples were so sore they felt like they were burning. I discussed it with my sister (who was at the time EBFing her 3rd) and she said "check your latch". Sure enough I had gotten too confident and he wasn't latching properly.

Also, try to nurse "ahead" of the feeding. For the first 2 weeks (especially because DS was jaundice) I would set an alarm. Every hour and a half I would wake him up and put him on the breast (even at night). If you get to it before hunger strikes they are more patient and willing to work on their latch. Versus being ravenous pigs

Maybe change how you are holding DC at the breast. For the first month I could only BF Ryan in the football hold. My breasts are/were large (38DD). I felt like the cradle hold suffocated Ryan and I wasn't quite coordinated enough to move my breast away from his tiny nose.

Pumping.....only pump (before 6 weeks) if you want to increase your supply. And make it a habit/schedule (most pumpers get the most in the morning since babies usually go their longest stretch between feedings at night). I was never a successful pumper, and only kept a few days worth of bottles in the freezer gosh forbid there is an emergency.

To also increase your supply make sure you are drinking at least one 8oz glass of water at each nursing session. (Don't forget to drink water in between as well). Add oatmeal to your diet. And there are a few good health food stores (Trader Joes, Whole Foods, etc) that carry a tea called "Mother's Milk". I never actually used it, but have heard great things.

Lastly, don't get discouraged. I know easier said than done but we have all been there. Especially in the beginning. They cluster feed, and cry, and you begin to feel like a cow. Anytime you get frustrated, drop me an FM...I'll boost your confidence You'd be surprised at what a "I think you are doing an amazing job" can do!

Oh, and one final note. Don't EVER feel like a failure. Ultimately only YOU, the MOTHER, know what is best for your DC. Go with your gut and stick with it! If your gut is telling you to stick with it, I say go for it!

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

I could have <and actually did I think> written the same thing myself...

I did NOT enjoy BFing.. like you said, it took wayyyy too long (60-75 minutes a feeding) and I hated not knowing how much DD was eating.

Since day 5 I did a hybrid BFing/pumping/formula routine. By the 2 month mark I gave up BFing, I was miserable and so was DD... I switched to EPing and never looked back. I was really really happy.

I've never had a good supply, DD has always gotten 65-80% BM with formula supplementing. I'm ok with that.

I'm MUCH happier now then when I was nursing... and DD is still getting a ton of BM so it works for me!

Oh and to answer your question.. yeah, you pretty much have to do every 3 hours during the day (I would say 4-5 overnight) at this point since your DC is so young. each month you can relax this a little bit...

ETA: Feel free to FM me if you have any more questions about my "system"

Message edited 2/7/2011 9:50:39 PM.

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

Posted by melbalalala

I could have <and actually did I think> written the same thing myself...

I did NOT enjoy BFing.. like you said, it took wayyyy too long (60-75 minutes a feeding) and I hated not knowing how much DD was eating.

Since day 5 I did a hybrid BFing/pumping/formula routine. By the 2 month mark I gave up BFing, I was miserable and so was DD... I switched to EPing and never looked back. I was really really happy.

I've never had a good supply, DD has always gotten 65-80% BM with formula supplementing. I'm ok with that.

I'm MUCH happier now then when I was nursing... and DD is still getting a ton of BM so it works for me!

Oh and to answer your question.. yeah, you pretty much have to do every 3 hours during the day (I would say 4-5 overnight) at this point since your DC is so young. each month you can relax this a little bit...

ETA: Feel free to FM me if you have any more questions about my "system"

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

If you have an oversupply, try feeding several times from the same breast.

The length of the feedings might be related to the nipple shield. The shield slows down the flow too much, so it takes them longer to eat the same amount.

The older your DD gets, the shorter the feedings. When we first brought my daughter home, feedings were an hour fifteen . Now she's ten weeks, weaned off the nipple shield, and they're half an hour (sometimes a little longer at night).

If you're going to EP, make sure you get BFing-friendly bottles. I use Breastflow bottles and nipples. They work more like a breast than the kind you'd use for formula. Once your supply straightens out, you might want to try BFing again, and this will give you the option.

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

DD is 6m and I have been EPing since was 3m., when I went back to work. I currently pump 4x a day and DD ONLY gets BM!

I had a forceful letdown and oversupply issues. DD would also BF for HOURS. I loved the IDEA of BFing - of DH coming home to see this beautiful mother/daughter picture in his living room. But in practice, I am too scheduled and antsy!

In the beginning, pump every three hours to build up your supply. Keep track of your ounces. I pump for 30m and get a LOT of milk in the last 5m or so!

Re: Ready to give up EBF, Please offer some advice or those Pumping Moms come in!

I bf in the hospital and have been pumping ever since I got home because he spit up blood from my nipple and I was traumatized lol. Even with just pumping, he only gets breastmilk, i havent had any trouble with supply and I pray it continues! It was alot of work pumping and making the time but I am so glad it's working out. I currently have about 8 bottles in the frig and about 15 5 oz bags in the freezer.