Desperate for napping advice

I have a ton of napping questions. My DS is 3 months old and an Awful napper. Nighttime sleep he is great--I nurse, put on pj's, swaddle, sing a song and he is OUT for 8-9 hours. The problem is he doesn't nap and is EXHAUSTED by 6pm.

He won't nap--I'm in tears almost daily b/c my sweet lovely boy turns into a monster. He is so not fun or playful and I hardly see him smile. Some days he is great---rarely but he is--and on those days we just have so much FUN together. He sleeps GREAT at daycare 2 days a week and I have no idea why. I've even asked his teacher to come to my house and put him down when I am home

I feel like I am failing him and all I want to do is do right by him. I am so sad.

So my questions are:
1.Does anyone have advice, in general.
2.What are some good nap routines to do with him? Should I just follow the same as bed time, or try to make it different so he does not confuse what kind of "sleep" to do?
3. If I think he is tired, but he is not going down (crying, waking up) do I give up, or keep trying until he falls asleep? I do not want to torture him!
4. Any books or resources that are useful?

Sorry so long---I am just so sad that I can't enjoy my baby. He is so unpredictable and I feel so housebound by his inability to nap. When he does get at least 2 solid naps in (morning 9-11ish and 1:30-3:30ish) he is a dream....so fun and playful and social.

Re: Desperate for napping advice

my DS is 11 weeks and i have the same issue. there are days he looks like a drug addict, his eyes are so red from not sleeping!

i usually have to fight him to take a nap and when he realizes he's falling asleep, he SCREAMS at the top of his lungs just to avoid it!

here's what i've tried that sometimes works:

bouncy chair, while i hold his pacifier to make sure he doesn't spit it out and make shushing sounds (about 15-20 minutes to fall asleep and naps for about 45minutes)

following the same bedtime routine- put him in crib, tuck him in under his blanket, give pacifier, turn on his musical soothing toy (sorry forgot the name) and walk away. i also keep the shades drawn so the room in semi-dark and close the door when i leave to eliminate all other noise. (asleep in about 15 minutes, naps for about 45minutes- 1 hour)

if all else fails- put him in the swing. (asleep in about 10 minutes, will nap until the swing stops swinging, could be hours could be minutes, but that usually depends on me)

hope it helps, and if you find anything else that works, let me know!

Re: Desperate for napping advice

At that age DD mostly napped in her swing.. Good luck!

Re: Desperate for napping advice

Thank you

The swing used to work awesome--it was like baby ambien...but now I put him in and he gets distracted by the mirror on it. I need to cover it with paper or something maybe so he can't see his reflection.

Re: Desperate for napping advice

DD napped in her swing
DD was also a belly napper

she was never a great napper, but then again she also gave us 12+ hours at night at that age.

DS was a great napper and a great sleeper at that age also... he napped on his belly or in the bouncy seat.

Re: Desperate for napping advice

Re: Desperate for napping advice

this thread is so timely! I dont have much advice as my ds who is 3 1/2 months is doing the same as yours. At night he goes down no problem ! he used to sleep in the swing or the car seat but will no longer sleep anywhere but my arms!

Re: Desperate for napping advice

I was the same as you - stressed big time over napping. People on here and friends all told me to relax...at 3 mos old they are still so little and scheduled naps are not something that they do just yet. My DD is 5 mos this week and we are still working on her nap schedule.
At 3 mos she mostly napped in her swing...I'd get hours at a clip out of her in that swing! She always naps best swaddled. She is 5 mos and almost 20 lbs (BIG girl) and I still have swaddle her in the miracle blanket. She looks crazy but she smiles and loves to have her arms wrapped tight for her naps for some reason...I don't do this at night because I need to keep a close eye on her on the video monitor b/c she is big and can bust out of the swaddle - she gets it up around her neck. Honestly at her size swaddling is not so safe but I am trying to wean her out of it for the naps. She naps so much longer swaddled so I hesitate to put her down unswaddled.
But definitely try and relax a little...don't let it stress you too much. Does he sleep in the car? If so I honestly would go out and drive around a bit - wait til he falls asleep and pull over and read a good book or magazine if you have to. I feel your pain at that point I would do anything to get DD to nap. Do whatever it takes and don't stress if he's not a scheduled napper...everyone tells me not until 6 mos do babies really become scheduled with their naps. I am working hard to get DD there by 6 mos.

Also I highly recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby by Weisbluth. Everything in that book has been true for us with DD. 2 hours after she first wakes in the morning is when she is ready for nap #1. Then another 2 hours after she wakes from that nap is nap #2. That book was so helpful for us with getting her on a nice early bed time too...definitely get a copy and start reading. It helped me big time!

Good luck!

Re: Desperate for napping advice

Don't be so hard on yourself. What I did at that age was that I would put him down after he had been awake 90 minutes. Even if he didn't look tired he was. He just needs to get into the habit of napping. Put him down and see what happens. I always swaddled my DS for naps also and I found that that really helped. As soon as I started swaddling him, he'd turn his head and fall asleep, it was a great cue for him!

I will say that they go through these stages where they don't want to nap, even now at 13 months we just went/are maybe still going through one. It's up to you to insist that he nap bc you know he needs it and that's what is best. I sometimes put DS to nap in the swing but not often. But maybe you can try the swing so he's not so overtired while you get him into a routine.