05 moms and #2

Do you have a "plan" for #2?

I'm so torn on what I wanna do...
My life isn't where I want it to be (mostly financially) for another, not sure if it will ever be there

I'm really beginning to envy those families with 2 or more kids, close in age. I feel terrible that DS doesn't have a sibling to play with.

I basically have a window for the next month or so (putting DS and #2 a few months shy of 4yrs apart)

OR Ill have to wait until end of August 09+ to try for #2

(Im in a wedding in October 09 and DO NOT want to be very preg (maybe 1 or 2 months tops), or preg at all. AND we have an already booked vacation for July of 09' which I do not wanna take a 3 week old OR be 7months preggo +)

If I wait- DS and #2 will be just about 5 yrs apart. I feel like thats a huge difference



I keep thinking into the future- like what will I do on a family vacation that a 2yr old and 7yr old will both find entertaining... KWIM?


Im so confused....

It dosent help my neighbore brought her new from the hospital yesterday, Im burning up with the fever...

Re: 05 moms and #2

well my "plan" was to have another by 2008 but that isn't going to happen!

I really wanted them to be 3 years apart...I still have to get over that - BUT I do think there a lot of advantages to having them around 4 years apart.

Unfortunately for me the complications I have been having and the timing issues are pretty much going to stop me from having a third baby.

Re: 05 moms and #2

We planned and he's here.

Financially we are OK not where I would have liked but I am getting too old to wait and so is Dee, so we will sacrifice things if we need to, but it's not like we are about the lavish things anyways.

Message edited 8/10/2008 5:04:20 PM.

Re: 05 moms and #2

5 years isn't too too bad....my nephew and Aly are 5 years apart and the two of them play and play and play so well together!!!

Re: 05 moms and #2

I could have written this post myself!

DS will be 3 in october so a tad older than your DS and we are still not officially "READY."

My brother and i are 4 years apart, as are DH and his sister - we were never super close but we get along fine as adults now and it is nice to know that there is always someone there...

Give TTC a shot now but don't feel bad if it doesn't happen right away.

Re: 05 moms and #2

My brother and I are 5 years apart and it's great. We didn't fight too much as kids, and we did play together a lot. We are still close as adults.

Re: 05 moms and #2

We went to splish splash a few weeks ago, and stayed in the kiddie area.

I kept wondering to myself what I would do if I had an 8 yr old with me, how would've I done both...

Its prob silly, but something I'm always thinking about.

Re: 05 moms and #2

Just thought of something...

The thing is you don't just all of a sudden have a 2 yr old and an 8 yr old - they learn to grow up together and do things that are fun for both. I could see feeling that way if you took your son (2 yo) and a friends son (8 yo) and since they aren't always together it would be hard.

This of course coming from someone that is equally confused about TTC #2

Re: 05 moms and #2

Would you be OK with it if it did happen in the next few months? I was going to say try kind of winging it and if it happens it happens and if it doesn't then you wait until '09.
I'm not much help. Sorry.

Re: 05 moms and #2

Re: 05 moms and #2

Bryan just turned 3 and were not preggo soooo I
could have written this word for word. I think despiste the finacial concerns we are going to start trying in Sept. that will put them at 4 yrs apart if I get preggo right away... I never really wanted them to be this far apart BUT finances have held us back. 2 daycare bills would be alot for us but Im hoping that it will work out somehow.

I too kinda wish they could have been a little closer but thats not how things panned out for us.

Dh also hasnt really been into the idea of # 2 100%. He loves our family dynamic right now. Bryan turned out to be such a great kid and he is afraid that # 2 will be different. Right now we are still so in love with our son its very hard to imagine loving another the same but I know it works out. I go back and forth all the time on this

Deciding on # 2 was far more harder on us than #1

Re: 05 moms and #2

Despite the age difference between my kids (8 years), pretty much everywhere I take them, they both seem to have fun. A place like Splish Splash, I dunno though. Nicholas is a good "helper" and they really do have fun together. I wouldn't trade the age difference for anything!

Re: 05 moms and #2

IMO there are advantages to having DC's 5yrs apart or more.. (just like there are advantages to them being closer in age)

DC #1 will be in school during the day- giving you more time with the new baby and time for you to rest and adjust to having a newborn again.. instead of chasing after a toddler in between feedings and such.

DC #1 will be able to help with certain things, like changing/dressing the baby, feeding the baby, getting you things from the other room, etc.

Just something to think about. Good luck with your decision!!

Message edited 8/10/2008 6:47:39 PM.

Re: 05 moms and #2

I am right there with you...Bella is turning 3 in September and although I always knew that we planned on at least three years apart...I still have no real "decision" made with DH except that it isn't happening soon. *Maybe* winter of '09-'10? I don't want to wait much longer than that.

The issues are a. Bella was a total surprise and trying to actually plan is crazy hard b. daycare is a ridiculous amount of money c. I don't even know if I get maternity at my current job--there are only 8 employees and no one is popping a child out anytime soon.

So for now, we enjoy Bella and are amazed at how she grows everyday.
I don't even know if I can get pg with a second, so I guess I have to figure all of that out too.

Re: 05 moms and #2

I'm an '06 mom, but I hope you don't mind me crashing.

As someone who is going through the same thing, I have come to the conclusion that where you are in your life is more important than plans.

I also wanted kids 2 years apart, but then that would be SUCH a strain on our lives and our marriage. Even now, DD is 2 and I still don't think that we can handle another baby right now.

I know I am probably in the minority with this, but before TTC #2, I want to make sure my finances are on teh way to where I want them to be, my marriage is strong and my head is where I need it to be.

We pay a fortune for daycare and want to stay in the city as long as possible. We decided, contrary to any image i ever had, that we will TTC when Jordana is getting ready for public school, so we won't pay for 2 daycares. The financial strain of two children would just be too much for us and our marriage would definitely suffer. I also can't imagine taking away any time from Jordana - more than I already do with work, running, the little bit of "me" time I get and the little but of couple time we have.

I know you can never be totally ready for a baby, but we aren't even close.

So you need to do what is right for the family you have right now. If having a baby now is what you want because it was part of what you imagined, then let it go.

But if everything else is in order and its just fear, than that is something else.

Message edited 8/10/2008 7:57:10 PM.