I'm very annoyed...

It has happened again.

I posted about a month ago about a certain person showing up at my house uninvited and unannounced. Well, it happened again last night. This time I'm not protecting who this person is. It's obviously my mil.

If anyone didn't read my other posts, I've mentioned how she just stops by whenever she feels like it. She calls from the car when she's sitting outside my house to see if she can come over. If she does call, she'll call my dh and tell him that she's coming over...but never me.

Last night she rings my bell and proceeds to haul in a ton of things from BJ's and asks my guest that I had over to help her carry the things in. I said to her..."So, you were in the area?" "Yeah" she says. We're NOT in the same area btw...

Nobody knew that she was coming over. Neither me or my dh. My sil knew that she was coming over because she told HER that she'd see her later at our house.

On top of her not saying shite to me about coming over, she tells me that my stomach hasn't gotten bigger, but my butt has. I said.."Gee, thanks" and did one of these . She says..."That's a good thing"
That's not something you say to a pregnant woman.

And the kicker (as if what has already happened isn't enough)...I give her her birthday present and she doesn't say thank you at all. When my dh got home, she told him thank you right in front of me.

I'm extremely p1ssed and I feel like she's walking all over me. I've talked to my dh and he spoke to her last time about just showing up. But it hasn't seemed to sink in.

I really don't know what to do. Things are only going to get worse when the new baby is born...

Sorry this is so long ladies...I really needed to vent and I'm just looking for some advice.

Re: I'm very annoyed...

I would be pizzed too. I am not a fan of random drop-ins. You had people over - that is so rude.

I would never pop-in to someone's house without calling them beforehand.

Re: I'm very annoyed...

That really sux Stef.... You just need to nip it in the bud and demand the respect. Tell her that you would just like the courtesy of a phone call BEFORE she is on her way to your house. If she doesn't change, I'd just wouldn't open the door.

Re: I'm very annoyed...

Well, she's certainly a piece of work. I guess the only option since you've already spoken about the "pop ins" would be not to answer the door, but I don't think that's going to solve anything.

If it were me, I would just continue to be respectful despite her blatant lack of respect. You (or your DH) can't change her, obviously and I don't think anything's gained really by perpetuating immature behaviour--you be the better person. You'll always know in your heart you did the right thing. Plus, Jared is at the age now where he's going to notice animosity, etc. And lastly, I'm sure it's hard on your DH since it's HIS mom that's causing all the problems.

I would shut my mouth, smile, roll my eyes occasionally and wait patiently until she retired down to Florida

Re: I'm very annoyed...

Sorry you need to deal with this. Was it a drop in to stay or a drop in to drop off stuff?

Drop-ins aren't an issue for me, but yes I'd be pizzed at her comments & that after being spoken to about it being an issue, she disregarded it.

She may never respect you. She may never be nice to you. There is very little you can do about that.

What you can do is lay down the rules for your house & with your children. If she doesn't follow them, then you & your DH need to agree on the consequences. The last thing you want this to turn into is an argument with you two.

Re: I'm very annoyed...

I'd be pizzed!!! My inlaws live next door and my MIL always calls and asks if it's OK to come in and see DS.
I am not a fan of drop ins at all. Thank Goodness we really don't have that issue.
Again I am so sorry your MIL is rude and I am sorry she made that comment to you. Uuuugghh I'd be fuming.

Re: I'm very annoyed...

STEF!!!! I CANT STAND THAT WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: I'm very annoyed...

I have major issues with my MIL to much to go into but she also does the drop in which I HATE. DH and I have told her over and over again not to stop over and please call first. She won't. Now she will not "drop" over if DH is home just me but I have gotten to the point where I don't open the door or I tell her sorry we have plans and don't let her in.

Re: I'm very annoyed...

I'm sorry, that would make me CRAZY! Ignore her comments, she is obviously tactless. BUT the dropping by you can do something about-well, your DH can. I think it's up to him to say something to her.

Re: I'm very annoyed...

Re: I'm very annoyed...

Oh Stef - I don't know why she has such a problem of not respecting your wishes.

You 'would' think now that you are preggo and could be more tired now (from being preggo and running around after Jared) that she wouldn't come unexpected.

What did your SIL say when she stopped by? That she knew she was coming, but didn't say anything to you or your DH?

Re: I'm very annoyed...

Re: I'm very annoyed...

Posted by nancygrace

STEF!!!! I CANT STAND THAT WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: I'm very annoyed...

Typical Mother in Law behavior. Why do they act this way?
I feel like she is trying to get a reaction out of you.

I know it is hard, but try not to let her get to you.

Re: I'm very annoyed...

i don't think that i'd be allowing this woman into my house - not really because of the unexpected drop-ins, but because of the total lack of respect she is showing you. that's a total deal breaker for me.

i have only read a little of the history between you and your MIL, and the only suggestion i can offer is what i would do - i would detail to my DH the ways in which she has disrespected me IN MY OWN HOUSE and advise him that until he speak to her about her behavior, she is no longer allowed in my house.

i am really sorry she behaves this way - i can't imagine what you go thru

Re: I'm very annoyed...

Re: I'm very annoyed...

I hate unannounced drop-ins too. I dont care who it is, they should call first and ASK if is even ok.

Re: I'm very annoyed...

Mine calls us and tell us she's in town the day she comes in. Mind you she lives in PA now I feel your pain

Re: I'm very annoyed...

Message edited 3/5/2008 4:22:17 PM.

Re: I'm very annoyed...

I HATE when anyone stops over without calling.Can you just tell her a story about anyone stating that you know how awful it is when you don't expect visitors and maybe she will get the hint?