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WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!

Member since 8/10

4194 total posts

Name:
M

WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

So we moved into a new apartment in our building over the weekend. I met the neighbors on both sides, both young couples like us. Tonight, while watching TV, DH and I overheard a fight that escalated fast and is still going on between one of the couples. There is MAJOR screaming and cursing and banging noises and crying. I want to knock or call the police, DH says we just moved in and it's none of our business. I'm worried for the woman, the man sounds VERY scary (I haven't met him, just her once). We also keep hearing the door, like someone is leaving and then going back. DH feels strongly that we shouldn't do anything because they are 'just fighting' but I am very concerned.

WWYD? Suggestions?

Posted 8/1/12 9:01 PM
 
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!

Member since 1/09

13591 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

my DH is always one to say "mind your business"

can you call the police anonomously?

If its still going on and you think someone is in jeopardy of being hurt, I think thats what I would do.

otherwise, after this I may let the super or the board know.

Posted 8/1/12 9:03 PM
 

shadows
LIF Adult

Member since 1/10

4693 total posts

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WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

I am a wuss and I HATE getting involved in stuff. I'd probably let it go unless I truly believed that someone was getting hurt. Not saying this is the correct thing to do but it's what i would do.

Posted 8/1/12 9:07 PM
 

MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!

Member since 8/10

4194 total posts

Name:
M

Re: WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

Posted by Peainapod

my DH is always one to say "mind your business"

can you call the police anonomously?

If its still going on and you think someone is in jeopardy of being hurt, I think thats what I would do.

otherwise, after this I may let the super or the board know.



Thanks, it seems to have stopped. This is the first time we have heard it so DH agreed that if it happens again we'll call the management company to let them know. I don't really think the super would care and I'm not sure who is on the board (although I know there is one), so I think calling management directly is our best bet.

Posted 8/1/12 9:08 PM
 

myboysmyheart
LIF Adult

Member since 1/12

2743 total posts

Name:
K

WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

I would call the cops. Id never forgive myself if someone got hurt or killed.
I would not go over there, you never know who/what you are dealing with.

Posted 8/1/12 9:09 PM
 

MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!

Member since 8/10

4194 total posts

Name:
M

Re: WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

Posted by myboysmyheart

I would call the cops. Id never forgive myself if someone got hurt or killed.
I would not go over there, you never know who/what you are dealing with.



I totally agree about calling the cops, DH though doesn't think their fight was "out of the ordinary". It has stopped totally, but if I hear it again ever I will do something. I won't be the bystander who said 'not my problem'.

Posted 8/1/12 9:13 PM
 

ItsaJoya19
my cup runneth over

Member since 1/10

2949 total posts

Name:
E

Re: WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

eek. Do you know who lived in your apt. before you and why they moved? Could you talk to your other neighbor and see if this is a common thing?

If it happens again, I would probably put a call into the management and have it documented. If they do nothing about it I'd call the police anonymously.

Posted 8/1/12 9:51 PM
 

LittleBlueBug
Happy Mommy

Member since 9/06

4074 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

Management cant do much about it, except probably log a complaint. Most that would happen is that either they will get a warning (maybe) or evicted (if they document numerous complaints of disturbing their neighbors that it infinges on their rights). I dont think that would help a victim of spousal abuse, if that is your concern. If something like that happens and it is really a concern of safety vs disturbance, then call the police. Too many women are battered and are killed because everyone wanted to mind their business. However, people do fight, so make sure it sounds like something that is escalating beyond a common arguement.

Message edited 8/1/2012 11:08:04 PM.

Posted 8/1/12 11:07 PM
 

TessMike214
Gabriella Aubrey born 3/26!

Member since 5/10

2440 total posts

Name:
Tess

Re: WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

I personally wouldn't do anything.

Posted 8/1/12 11:10 PM
 

WhatNow
Say Cheese!

Member since 1/06

8027 total posts

Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)

Re: WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

Unless you are bothered by the noise, i would mind my own business.

BTW, even if you do call the police, they will not come unless you tell them you hear gunshots or clear indications of someone causing/trying to cause another person bodily harm, i.e. furniture flying and hitting the wall, etc.

Posted 8/2/12 1:32 AM
 

springchick
make a wish

Member since 5/08

3566 total posts

Name:
justask

WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

We had the same problem when we first move to our current place, the cursing and the screaming and the lady crying we called the cops. DH believe in minding our own business but the fighting was too much to ignore of what if something worse happen I couldnt forgive myself.

Posted 8/2/12 4:32 AM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

If I head what sounded like someone physically getting hurt, than I'd stay out of it. If it did escalate to the physical than I'd call the police. I wouldn't knock on the door. You never know what you're walking into. Let the police handle it, it's their job.

Posted 8/2/12 7:01 AM
 

MorningCuppaCoffee
Tired!

Member since 12/07

16353 total posts

Name:
Allison

Re: WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

If you are concerned about bodily harm, do absolutely call the police.

Also, this could be a wake up call if the police come to the home.

If anything, I would think they might be embarassed once they realized their fighting is causing ppl in the building to look at them as creating a disturbance to the community.

Lastly, you never know when something could escalate so I think it's always better to err on the side of caution.

You never know if drinking or drugs is also involved.

Posted 8/2/12 8:00 AM
 

MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!

Member since 7/06

12020 total posts

Name:
MJ

WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

I would have called the cops. You just never know if someone could be experiencing abuse and nothing is ever done about it because someone decided to just "mind your business". How many women have been beaten to death while neighbors listened and raised the tv or put on headphones to drown out the noise?

Maybe it was just a one time fight but maybe it wasn't. Calling the cops wouldn't hurt because if there is no abuse then the cops would tell them to keep it down. Perhaps it could embarrass the couple into not being so loud again. If there was abuse then the cops can move forward.

If you hear them fighting like that again please do not ignore it. Call the police.

Posted 8/2/12 8:34 AM
 

MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!

Member since 7/06

12020 total posts

Name:
MJ

Re: WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

Posted by WhatNow

Unless you are bothered by the noise, i would mind my own business.

BTW, even if you do call the police, they will not come unless you tell them you hear gunshots or clear indications of someone causing/trying to cause another person bodily harm, i.e. furniture flying and hitting the wall, etc.



This is not true. If you call and state that a couple is fighting and you are worried it might escalate and the OP explained what she described above, the police will be dispatched. The last thing cops need is for someone to be seriously injured or killed in a domestic violence and it turns out a neighbor called 911 and it went ignored. DH goes to tons of "domestic disturbance" calls like the one in this thread.

Posted 8/2/12 8:40 AM
 

MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!

Member since 8/10

4194 total posts

Name:
M

Re: WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Posted by WhatNow

Unless you are bothered by the noise, i would mind my own business.

BTW, even if you do call the police, they will not come unless you tell them you hear gunshots or clear indications of someone causing/trying to cause another person bodily harm, i.e. furniture flying and hitting the wall, etc.



This is not true. If you call and state that a couple is fighting and you are worried it might escalate and the OP explained what she described above, the police will be dispatched. The last thing cops need is for someone to be seriously injured or killed in a domestic violence and it turns out a neighbor called 911 and it went ignored. DH goes to tons of "domestic disturbance" calls like the one in this thread.



Thank you so much! This is exactly my thinking (this and your other post), but DH convinced my to mind my own business THIS TIME. I will definitely NOT ignore it again. Thanks!

Posted 8/2/12 8:43 AM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

17194 total posts

Name:

WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

When we lived in our apartment, the neighbors across the hall would go at it big time.

I would have called the cops on them but, someone in the apartment usually called on the other person (I know it was them because they would yell - I'm calling the cops).

ETA - and the cops came each time and there were no gunshots fired.

Message edited 8/2/2012 9:30:55 AM.

Posted 8/2/12 9:30 AM
 

MrsSteflily
I love chocolate

Member since 4/06

2047 total posts

Name:
Stef

WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

Have you seen her yet? When you do, I would ask her if that was normal or would she have wanted help. If it's normal, she'll tell you. I know a lot of couples whose fights are out of this world. But they are the type to scream it out and then that's the end of it for them - fight over time to move on.

If it's not, maybe work out a phrase with her to say so that if you do hear it, you know to call the cops.

Posted 8/2/12 4:11 PM
 

jams92

Member since 1/12

6105 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

i dont think its your place to call...couples scream and yell and there is nothing you can do about it. if it happens nightly, or weekly then maybe make a call.
we heard our upstairs neighbors fighting (screaming) for a few days - but we were able to hear them so clearly we knew what the fight was about...he cheated on her. all you heard was yelling, never any physical noises or banging or anything dangerous so we sucked it up and dealt with it until they got past it.

Posted 8/2/12 4:18 PM
 

WhatNow
Say Cheese!

Member since 1/06

8027 total posts

Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)

Re: WWYD - just moved in to new apartment and our neighbors are having a BLOW OUT fight!

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Posted by WhatNow

Unless you are bothered by the noise, i would mind my own business.

BTW, even if you do call the police, they will not come unless you tell them you hear gunshots or clear indications of someone causing/trying to cause another person bodily harm, i.e. furniture flying and hitting the wall, etc.



This is not true. If you call and state that a couple is fighting and you are worried it might escalate and the OP explained what she described above, the police will be dispatched. The last thing cops need is for someone to be seriously injured or killed in a domestic violence and it turns out a neighbor called 911 and it went ignored. DH goes to tons of "domestic disturbance" calls like the one in this thread.



Speaking from my own experience, they won't. However, I really thing it depends on the neighborhood. I had to call once when my old neighbors were fighting at 1 in the morning and not letting us sleep. Police said that's not a reason for them to come. Then I called again and told them that furniture is flying. Then they showed up.

Posted 8/2/12 5:25 PM
 
 
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