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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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WWYD - friend related
DH and I are friends with someone that we've decided we really don't want to associate with anymore.
This person is inconsiderate to most people, selfish and overall contributes nothing to our lives.
Problem is, it's someone DH has been friendly with for quite a while and this person is part of a larger group of friends.
Would you confront this person directly with why you didn't want to be friends with them, or slowly drift away?
We've tried distancing ourselves from this person, but they end up at group events and places where we are as well and its difficult to ignore them without being overtly rude. This person has no idea how we feel, and usually makes cracks about us being old and married and not going out anymore (which is so far from the truth).
Neither of us can stand how this person treats other people in our group either. It seems like many people feel similarly to us, but no one will actually say anything directly to this person, instead we all talk about them behind their back. It drives me crazy because i'm one to usually address issues.
thoughts?
Message edited 4/1/2009 11:15:27 AM.
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Posted 4/1/09 11:12 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: WWYD - friend related
I would just be polite when you're together in the larger group, but don't make an effort to get together with this person alone. Is it the type of person that would get insulted if you made plans with the other friends and NOT him/her?
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| Posted 4/1/09 11:16 AM |
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MissRadiant
Happily Ever After
Member since 9/08 2534 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: WWYD - friend related
Maybe this is the wrong advice, but I would just start drifting away slowly. If the friendship means something to you and your DH then speak with the person. Maybe after the conversation the person will change. It you think there is no hope then just drift away. It wouldnt be worth a long conversation/argument to me.
Hope it all works out.
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| Posted 4/1/09 11:17 AM |
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kimbalina
Bring on the glitter and bows!
Member since 6/08 15158 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: WWYD - friend related
I would drift away slowly. However I would not bite my tounge if they are being rude when I am around them.
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| Posted 4/1/09 11:18 AM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: WWYD - friend related
Posted by kimbalina
I would drift away slowly. However I would not bite my tounge if they are being rude when I am around them.
Same.
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| Posted 4/1/09 11:22 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend related
I would drift away from them but would continue to get together with my friends whether they were there or not. Otherwise, you lose your friends.
I would make my own plans with the group - without that person. If confronted why, I would say I don't prefer their company & leave it at that.
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| Posted 4/1/09 11:36 AM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: WWYD - friend related
Posted by kimbalina
I would drift away slowly. However I would not bite my tounge if they are being rude when I am around them.
Yup, same here.
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| Posted 4/1/09 12:17 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: WWYD - friend related
Drift away. With a confrontation you risk making things weird among the whole group, and them possibly not wanting you and DH around anymore.
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| Posted 4/1/09 12:25 PM |
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DayDay
Livin' the Good Life....
Member since 9/06 5939 total posts
Name:
Dayna
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Re: WWYD - friend related
Posted by Jennie0898
Posted by kimbalina
I would drift away slowly. However I would not bite my tounge if they are being rude when I am around them.
Yup, same here.
I agree with this too
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| Posted 4/1/09 12:34 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend related
Posted by JessInCA
Drift away. With a confrontation you risk making things weird among the whole group, and them possibly not wanting you and DH around anymore.
yup.. thats the issue!
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| Posted 4/1/09 12:53 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: WWYD - friend related
I would probably let the friendship drift apart and not include this person in any events that I was organizing. I would probably be polite around that person when I saw him/her, and if the situation occured that he/she was being rude to others I would call him/her out on it (Okay, I would WANT to call him/her out on it, but knowing me, I would avoid the confrontation...you, however, would handle it just fine.  ) Oh, and btw, I'm very curious about who you are referring to in this post. 
ETA: I find it very funny that this person talks about you two not going out! You are two of the most social people I know!
Message edited 4/1/2009 1:24:28 PM.
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| Posted 4/1/09 1:14 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend related
Posted by Jax430
I would probably let the friendship drift apart and not include this person in any events that I was organizing. I would probably be polite around that person when I saw him/her, and if the situation occured that he/she was being rude to others I would call him/her out on it (Okay, I would WANT to call him/her out on it, but knowing me, I would avoid the confrontation...you, however, would handle it just fine. ) Oh, and btw, I'm very curious about who you are referring to in this post.
ETA: I find it very funny that this person talks about you two not going out! You are two of the most social people I know!
you have fm 
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| Posted 4/1/09 1:33 PM |
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