What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

DH has sooooooooo many high school and college friends who have multiple kids. We are invited to every birthday/christening/etc...I am tired of sending gifts and buying gifts. If we can't attend a kids birthday, is it expected that I still send a gift in the mail? I think I know the answer, but I'm still hoping I don't have to

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

Honestly, if it’s someone we’re close to, I would. If it’s someone we’re not very close to, I probably wouldn’t unless you’re going to see within a few weeks of the party, then I would.

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

I would think no unless its a nephew or niece...you could always send something tiny...

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

Always send a gift.

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

Depends!

I personally don't unless they are friends (close friends!) or they are family members.

If you have the time, money and energy, then I think it is EXTREMELLY nice of you to do it for each party even if you don't attend.

I personally would not want to feel pressure to do so. But again, it depends which circle of friends/what type of relationship and what is "expected" of you with your DH's friends.

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

I only do it for family and CLOSE friends.

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

thanks all....they definitely are not close friends, so i'm not going to send a gift this time. thank you all so much for your advice!

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

I do. For parties we have missed, I send GCs inside a bday card.

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

I would only do it for close friends and family.

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

I would send a gift especially if this is a group and people would say so and so sent a gift but then someone else did not get one. I have a suggestion. Take $100. Go to TJ Maxx or Marshalls. Buy a ton of gifts and put them in gift bags. Pop in the mail when this situation arises! One of my friends gets personalized gifts a lot. People seem to like those-Not sure where you live buit there is astore in Peppertree Commons in Commack that does this-I think Merry Go Round?

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

If it's within a group you have already sent gifts in the past, then I would send something, even a GC in a card.
Otherwise, if I am not going to SEE the person in the near future, and I don't see them regularly, I wouldn't get a gift.

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

I only send for family and close friends. If its a birthday party I only send a gift if I would have got the kid a gift without a party.

Now that I am a mom I would never expect anyone that didn't come to dc's party to send a gift. He gets so much stuff he doesn't need anything. I only invite people so I have the opportunity to see them.

Message edited 2/25/2009 3:11:40 PM.

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

My rule is if you're invited a gift is given regardless if you can make it or not.

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?

As OP said I would do it if it is family and close friends.

Re: What's the etiquette for a kids birthday party you can't attend...do you still send a gift?